Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult
Posted By: Okie MT on 2007-11-14
In Reply to: Opinion - HELP! :) - Sunshine
Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.
You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.
I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.
Stand strong, sista!
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and he should respect her the same way
by not giving her a hard time for going to church. It has to work both ways, or marriage simply cannot work at all. What a difficult decision, I hope it works out for them.
With all due respect ...
to you, children *deserve* food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education/instruction and LOVE. Anything else is out of the goodness of their parents' hearts and what the parents can afford. This sense of entitlement is why so many children are growing up spoiled, self-centered and unappreciative.
No respect for new name...
I have a friend who decided several years ago to change his name. His family knows his name (not far from his old as say used to be Michael and wants a shortened version say Mike.) The problem is his family does not honor his wishes to be called his new name and refers to him in the old name. Here recently he had an aunt out of town who died and my friend's brother was getting some flowers to be delivered to the funeral. The friend said be sure and use my name, the other one and the brother would not, saying no everyone knows you by your other name and the friend let that go through. I have told the friend he needs to take a stance on this but how would someone else handle this? His name change took place over 10 years ago and still they do not honor this. Any suggestions?
respect is
x
With respect . . .
Having grown up in a devote Catholic family, and forced to go to Catholic school all my life many, many years ago I have studied many, many religions in my search for Truth. Even as a small, small child, I could not buy the teachings of the Catholic Church. It is an organization bent on interpretation of Christ's teachings, run by men, and a control tool for the public, especially women. The idea that the Catholic Church is the one true church is ridicuous. Again, the key word here is its interpretation. Interpretation is going to be different to different people and different cultures. The Catholic Church was the greatest proponent of reincarnation until the 15th century when St. Augstine thought it afforded mankind too ample a time for salvation. It was a mystical powerful church, but felt that imparting sacred mystical teachings was only for the select few at the top, not their lowly congregations. It plundered and slaughtered thousands of humans to convert them. But then so have many other religions in the name of God. This is the problem with any organized religion. Don't get me wrong, there are many fine Catholics, and many fine people who believe in it. There is but ONE sacred bond that involves onto two sides, you and God. Nothing could be more sacred. You do not need an organization for that. It is a sacred private matter, just you and God. No one else. No one needs to belive or follow an organization, or think that the only way to God is through that organization. That is ridiculous, and a means of control.
Not really about respect for yourself always (sm)
Getting over caring what everyone else thinks about you is a major milestone in life. Wonderfully freeing. I wear shirts that are too tight sometimes because like I said, I can't afford to replace everything at once and am hoping to lose the weight and not need to replace everything. Meanwhile, I do have some things to get dressed up in for those times that I do care how I look. But on a daily basis, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.
strong stuff
I use to sell the stuff and let me tell you the backing should not hurt the flooring. Actually, I took a screwdriver and tried to scrap, chip or just try to mar the surface of the flooring and I could not even scratch it at all.
It's hard, but be strong for your mom and go.
If this is a family gathering, I'd go and be as polite as I could stomach, and then leave and take it up with her at a later time. Can't say I wouldn't flash her the ol' stinkeye once or twice when no one was looking though.
5 years and going strong
We have had ours 5 years too and store it in a shed in the backyard. It snows here in the winter and gets really hot in the summer. It still works like a charm. Go ahead, make that step and give up all those messy light strings!
I probably would if I had a strong suspicion...
I don't necessarily think it's the right thing to do, but usually when people have a very strong suspicion that something is "off" with their significant other they are right in my experience - unless it's someone who just gets jealous/suspicious over every little thing. But if your significant other is innocent, then you risk ruining their trust in you, and if you don't fess up to what you've done then you risk accidentally divulging information you learned while snooping and thereby "outing" yourself. It's a slippery slope for sure!
That may be why it is so strong! They want people to buy
xxx
You don’t seem to be a strong parent
With teenage drinking, driving and the like, why even take the chance of having a diaster in the making waiting around the corner. I just do not see my ever wimping out to my child's father or anyone else for that matter. I guess you don’t want to look like the bad guy but here I think you really do.
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.
Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.
Respect is what I deserve.
NM
With all due respect moderator
I really do not think this is the poster. I have read her posts and she has always been very nice and compassionate. Not that it matters anymore, the poster that was starting arguments went under the handle of Z. I admit I was also nasty as she upset me by calling me a "goof" and kept escalating the discussion which then became a heated argument between the two of us. I apologize for my involvement in that thread and should not have let someone get the better of me over something stupid.
He doesn't respect your
mother, and doesn't believe she will be "mean" to him. Therefore she will end up having to do what he doesn't believe she will do IMO.
We are lucky in that respect
If we lose power it is usually only for a couple hours. My in-laws lose power all the time though and usually for 24 hours or more.
We live on a county line too. Funny less than 2 miles down the road is where 1 county turns around. It is like a straight line the plow draws across the road.
I hope you don't live in Northern Michigan. That is sure to be a mess for your daughter to travel to. I hope she doesn't push it. It can be dangerous out there at a moments notice.
He should have respect for his father and
I did tell him last night that he was the one who made the decision to quit school, not us. We went as far as to walk him to the bus, watch him get on and when he got to school, he would go in one door and out the other. Sometimes he would even slip off the bus during another stop. When we went to court the last time, the judge gave us the option of emancipation after he looked at the records, so we did that. That way, he was responsible for himself and we would not be dragged into court again (it was our 4th time).
As for my DH not working, he states that he could find work if he tried. (He owns a tri-axle and we all know what kind of highway work is out there right now.) If he wants to get another job around here, it would have to be a coal mine or as an over-the-road truck driver being gone for weeks at a time. My gosh, DH will be turning 62 this year. Do I want him to do the above 2 jobs? He was an OTR for 32 years and he's all I have now, so that's not an option..
It's bad enough when he's gone from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. when there is work, so he's no slouch and he has even gone to work when he had the gout so bad he could barely walk, while the son takes off work every time he gets a cold.
I was going to call him this morning (he's laid off right now) and tell him he owes his father an apology, but I think I will let it go for one last time, although DH stated last night he's done with him. I certainly don't want this to get any worse.
Like you, the strong medicine they gave just does not do
it at all. Oh, he also ordered an injection of cortisone today so who knows? I told him the hard stuff did not work and did not need anything for pain, wanted to find out what was causing my pain and after the trigger points told me definitely my problem. I have gone to a pain clinic close by before and would do that again, returning in 2 weeks to this particular clinic and by then should have started the water aerobics and will ask about the pain clinic. I told hubby tonight the pain there all the time, sometimes excrucating and other times just the all over the body pain like mine is today. Gosh, you would not wish this on your worst enemy, would you? Good luck to you also.
Where are the nasty comments. just some very strong
opinions that happen to not agree with your opinion. I thought we were all just discussing. So what if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, that's fine. We are all entitled to our opinion and we just have to agree to disagree. Please don't take this so personally. I don't think any of it was aimed at you. 
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Actually, if you're a strong Christian
and grounded in your faith, you are going to wear it everywhere you go because that is what Jesus instructed us to do. Our job on this earth is to preach the gospel to all people so that they might come to know him.
I'm sorry that it bothers you (and don't say it doesn't because it obviously does) but if you don't like the the posts of Jan, mammamt and others who have chosen to profess their faith then don't read them but please don't knock them down.
I know this is an absolutely futile argument but I just had to throw my 2 cents in there.
nice strong cup of coffee
works for me every morning
I had a very strong-willed child. sm
For starters - if she does leave - I would call the police ASAP and report her as a runaway. Otherwise she is out of the house with your permission and you need to protect yourself from neglect charges. Mine ran away 10-15 times and he was finally taken into juvenile hall and then foster care as he was incorrigible and refused to stay home and we had no control - his choice. He had 3 other siblings who obeyed the rules. Remember you are also responsible for any trouble she gets into while she is out there - stealing, etc. It can get very complicated - not to mention dangerous - so do everytihng you can to protect her and you - the street is no place for a 16 YO
I have heard very strong rumours about what happens
to Sabrina. I will share if you want to know. David is definitely leaving the show. I also think he killed Skye.
Sorry didn't mean to use such strong language
Both were borderline diabetic and had heavy heart disease and strokes in their families. My niece had it done and BS'd her way through it. Easy to con a psychiatrist into thinking your life isn't worth living etc and then they fill out the paperwork for the insurance.
This person said below she does not want to be a strong parent
I for one would have never written such a post. Not only are you wimping out as a parent but you are also underwriting a child breaking the law. Shame on you big time! You are supposed to be a parent but seems like you want to go back to being a child?
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
I do appreciate life and have respect for animals.
I just don't think they should be shoved in my face.
I agree - there are many children in stores who should be taken outside to be handled. However, people are NOT animals.
Unfortunately, most doglovers cannot appreciate this difference.
Respect your opinion, but should only be last resort.
meow
I respect your opinion, but that beach is SM
very very small. During the week would be no problem, but forget about weekends.
Favorite South Florida beaches for me are 15th beach on South Beach, (but you have to have a great body! :)) and Hollywood Beach. That really is a lovely beach. Kind of cheesy boardwalk, but great beach.
North Fla, St. Augustine beach.
Sanibel Island also have really nice beach, but watch out for sand flies and red tide.
...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
s
Sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you if he can't
s
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.
And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back. You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems. Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.
Think about it. You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit. You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something. What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect. Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life. Maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.
I really lose a lot of respect for the candidates
that talk back to the judges. I know that Simon can be very mean, but it is not like these kids don't know this. I think the singers should bite their tongue and just try to take the comments and try to improve their singing next week.
Yeah, E! is a little outdated in that respect!
Sometimes it cracks me up.
No,. that's not me. My children love and respect me.
and vice versa.
They know that they can come to me with all their problems and we talk about it and we sort them out together. They know exactly that there are boundaries. I would never forsake my children, never! And neither would they, because I set the example.
You sound so strong. Truly sorry for your great loss. What a
wonderful tribute you described of your precious Misha. She was VERY blessed to have had you as her owner. May God give you rest and peace right now.
Hate is a very strong word. I don't particularly care
We have a cat, and my SIL doesn't like her, but she tolerates her. My SIL likes dogs, but I can say that the dog sniffs where she shouldn't whenever people come to their house. I just think it is funny. Everyone have their likes and dislikes, but the word hate just bewilders me. I totally agree with OP in that why reiterate the fact that you hate something over and over again. 
Hate is a very strong word; however, I really don't like my sister(s) very much. sm
I have 3 sisters, 1 brother and 1 deceased brother. I have been close to my brother(s) all of my life and my sisters are just not very nice. I never really bonded with them, only my brothers.
My sisters are nasty and I chose to exclude them from my life. Sad, I know, but it is the only way I can survive.
Now, my brothers - I absolutely adore!!!
It was a little strong & overpriced for my tastes. (SeeMsg)
But, that was back when I could taste! I lost my sense of taste and smell a few years ago, so no sense throwing away good money on the expensive brand of anything! Now everything I buy is generic and cheap. (It all tastes the same to me!) HaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!
I would love to find a pot or coffee that was strong enough
for me. I just cannot seem to get it right. I love to go in Starbucks and smell that aroma and would love to have a good wake me up type but just do not find it. Any ideas here? DH bought new filter for present coffee pot, seemed to make no difference in the taste for me.
MY DAUGHTER is a strong, independent professional
So do my sons.
I didn't raise them as helpless, mindless animals. I taught them to be strong. I taught them how to take care of themselves.
You probably would let you kid take your money and stomp all over you. You deserve whatever you got coming there. Better keep your checkbook handy.
...You do for one another out of love and respect, not because you feel you "should"
s
I agree, they should receive more respect from students
and parents alike. I just don't believe they are underpaid for the actual hours they put in.
Agree. He's a pig and has totally no respect for you. Move on. nm
s
Respect is earned, not demanded, and certainly not an entitlement. nm
f
I think Lakesha started out strong but is starting to fizzle
I really don't have anybody giving me that spark this year. I like Melinda, but the wide eyed wonder thing was starting to get annoying. I'm glad Simon said something last night. Like I said, I think Lakesha started out strong, but she's just lost her edge and may be one of those upsets to go around now or next week, since she was considered an early favorite. Sanjaya was bad last night.. urgh, he was off on the voice, but really, if not for the drama of Sanjaya, there wouldn't be much reason to watch this year. I think what's his name.. the bald one.. Phil? He sang well last night, but he kind of creeps me out. I doubt anyone is going to really catch on or do big things after the show. It's going to be one of those fizzle out years.
Aha! Found the answer! Not a quake, but strong winds, - sm
unusually high tides & storm off the coast is what's causing it. It's more of a 'tidal surge' or 'coastal flooding', though - not really an actual tsunami (aka 'tidal wave') that is caused by seismic activity underneath the ocean. So probably it would be more closely related to the Hurricane Katrina flooding (though not as bad), than to the tsunami in southeast Asia a couple years ago.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
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