BTDT, don't want to go that route again, tx. NM
Posted By: Inquiring Mind on 2007-06-12
In Reply to: Is there some other route you can try? Umm, - family? Friends? Anyone?
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BTDT :(
Yes, a few years ago I did do that, Chapter 7. It was business related, lot of CC debt to finance the business, loans, etc. At the time, it was choose paying my home bills and feeding my new baby or throwing good money after bad with my flower shop. So the bankruptcy was actually the best thing I could have done at the time. We also had nothing for them to take...still don't...
I could file again later this year, not that I want to. I am almost done with the 10 years of that black mark on my credit record, and I am 37 now. I will be 40 when I am free of it. And I want to own my own home so desperately, so I don't think I will do it again... Actually, ALL of the accounts I put in my bankruptcy have already aged off of my credit report, just the actual legal case of the Bankruptcy is still on there...How about that!
This one large credit card debt and of course that thousands in interest is really all that I owe now.
FYI...After you go through your bankruptcy it is such a relief...Credit-wise the worst part is really only the first couple of years.
I have BTDT
I did leave my husband after 17 years of marriage, daughter 5, son 12. My situation was similar regarding the decision making.
I cannot give you advice about leaving, only about what to do if you decide to leave. Just dedicate your life to your children. Not because you have to make anything up to them, but because it is their turn to have their best chance at a good life.
I always looked at it like my child shouldn't suffer for my mistakes any more than they have to. I never dated or looked for a daddy for them. I let their dad as much leeway as far as custody as he wanted (which wasn't much because he didn't want to give me time to play --- I didn't want to play, just wanted to be happy with my kids with peace of mind -- no man necessary). Anyhow, I just worked and spend time with my kids.
They are now in their 20s and in college. I can't say it's been easy, but they are both well adjusted and doing incredibly well in school aiming toward fulfilling careers.
They also have a healthy relationship with their father. I never spoke a bad word about him. Over the years, they pretty much figured out what went wrong, but understanding that no one is perfect and that unconditional love is very powerful if expressed by both parents.
It's really hard to make things right for your kids. Just try to give them as much love and time as you can and as amicable as possible with your potentially future ex.
On a personal note, my parents fought like crazy and I got out as soon as I could, married 1 day after I turned 18. When I was at home, thinking about college or my life 10 years down the road never entered my head because of the intensely bad home life. I'm not blaming anything on my parents, but looking back I really think they were too distracted to think about the kids.
Just think about your kids whatever you do.
Good luck :-)
Ask your vet which food they ALL can eat. BTDT nm.
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I've BTDT and know it's not simple
Even the best DV organization/ shelter can't protect you when you leave them. It is very dangerous.
I just saw trying to leave while he was awake not really trying to leave. I apologize to the OP for not being compassionate.
This might be a route you can take
Since a lot of companies have employee assistance programs, you might want to look into what your company offers. Call your supervisor for a phone number. Not only can you call and talk to someone over the phone right away (a supportive voice can go a long way) they will fast track you to counseling and psychiatric services, and they will do a lot of the work for you. One of the hardest parts during a crisis is knowing how to help yourself. They know that so one phone call can really get you going in the right direction.
I had a breakdown during a crisis a couple of years back and can totally identify with everything your going through, especially doing odd stuff like leaving your vehicle running. Some of my goofs were leaving the front door open all night, putting my phone in the refrigerator, and one day I couldn't even remember how to spell the word "who." I have learned to laugh about it now, but at the time, I was quite afraid I was losing my mind. Don't be ashamed. One day you will be able to help a friend and the circle of friends continues.
Is there some other route you can try? Umm,
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I know someone who went the route you are saying (sm)
and her husband has taken her to court repeatedly trying to get full custody of her children. He has not gotten it yet but they have been in battle for years. He has stalked her and threatened her. In my state if I just pick up and leave, I lose all the equity in my home. My children deserve to have a place to live.
Thank you, I think I will try that route. (sm)
I knew they had groups for families of alcoholic/drug addicts, but just hadn't put 2 and 2 together that they might be able to make her see the light of day.
There is a local group in town, I will call them for further information.
Thanks again for your assistance and just lending an ear.
typo, sorry - route not root ! LOL nm
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I'm also disappointed that you chose this route.
It seemed obvious that you didn't want the paddling to happen, but you caved and let someone else (school and daughter) make the decision.
Whether one is for or against corporal punishment isn't even the issue for me. The bigger thing with me is the thought that some adult getting may be getting his/her thrills from paddling a teenage girl.
Got lost twice on a route I knew well.
I was on my way to a church group leadership training class. First, on autopilot, I got into the wrong lane at the first intersection out of the house. I couldn't do a quickie lane-change because there was a police car right next to me. This meant I had to drive halfway across town to get onto the freeway.
If that weren't enough, still on autopilot (you'd think I'd have figured it out by now) I got into the far left lane and blew right past the exit I needed. The next exit available for turn-around was a couple of miles further, so I took it and got turned around, but while I was off the freeway I made a quick call to the trainer and told her I obviously couldn't be let out of the house without adult supervision.
She found that so funny she shared it with the rest of the trainees, and they had a good laugh at my expense. But you know what? I was happy to provide it, and if you can't laugh at yourself now and then, it's a pretty sorry fix you've gotten yourself into.
He should have to get a paper route or a snow-shoveling
nm
Frustrated by Google map route? Solution
I was just playing around with a route that Google map gave for a particular To and From location, and was frustrated (as usual!) with the illogical-appearing route it chose. I never knew you could click on the map and have the option of Change Route appear, but you can! You just drag the mouse to the route you'd like, and it will reconfigure the way you want to see. NATURALLY the route you chose really does turn out to be shorter in distance and time. Problem solved!
Mowing lawns, mail route, get friends together for a car wash
Deliver pizzas, work at restaurant, retail sales (Christmas coming up)....
Good luck!
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