Assuming your daughter is an adult, why make a difference?
Posted By: Unless it truely is about getting on 2008-12-04
In Reply to: I post this every holiday season and will try SM - Sally Forth
a gift in return. If everyone is going to be together when gifts are exchanged, then I get them a little something, even if its a wal-mart gift card.
If they will not be there when you give your daughter and SIL a gift, then I guess you could skip them.
My true opinion is that adults, other than spouse and SO - do not need gifts. We do not buy the adult gifts in our family, but we have a big get together at our house and provide all the fixings and such, that is our gift.
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Maybe you can try adult conditioner. My daughter SM
has thick curly hair. I would wash it every day. She never did mind my combing or brushing it. You could also try one of those plastic brushes with bristles wide apart.
My daughter is now 32 and does her own hair.
Why don't you be a mom and take care of your daughter until she is an adult? sm
Boyfriend, spoiled, blah, blah. You are her parent. You need to provide her a place to live until she is old enough to do so herself. I would either allow her to move in with you and your boyfriend or I would rent her a place to live. She is not old enough to be expected to find a roommate and pay all her own bills yet. If you had done your job to begin with she wouldn't be spoiled or having such issues.
you're seriously going to let an adult (male?!) spank your teenage daughter?
nm
If you want to make a difference each
month you can give $30 a month to Worldvision and sponsor a child and also help the community the child lives in. They also have a way you can give gifts at Christmas with their catalog (which I did this past year made my family cry) where you give $13 for a wheelchair! OF course it is not a high tech wheelchair but one that works well for the child that needs it. I have been doing this since 2003 it is a blessing.
What difference does it make? --sm
it all comes clean in the wash anyway. Their bowls are not any dirtier than yours are, after having eaten off of them. just my opinion.
yes, exercise will definitely make a difference
nm
Neutering also make a difference
Not immediately, but over a little time, they seem to settle in to a more serene frame of mind.
Does it really make a difference regarding the death
x
What state you are in would make a big difference. sm
Maybe a local county health department? In my state, they do GYN exams for specific income brackets for free and then if over that bracket, it is based on your income.
Thank you Trose, so do I believe it will make a huge difference, NM
z
Chic Shaper really does make a difference.
x
It sort of does make a difference when they use it as a form of birth control...
just my opinion.
Somehow you have to make him stop, for your daughter
My stepdad used to pull the same stunts when I had friends over (he was an alcoholic). It got to the point where my friends' parents would no longer allow them to come to my house. I also got teased at school something fierce because of his behavior. It got to the point where I would not allow anyone to come to the house - still don't take boyfriends home to meet the family! -which meant I was constantly out of the house and spent less time at home with my mother. I'm sure you don't want that to happen with your daughter, so somehow this behavior has to stop.
The above is what I am saying, not assuming like me2 and tm
Thanks so much for your post. A lot of the people posting against me are not really understanding what I am saying. Your post said exactly what I was writing in the first place. People who assume that I have not ever worked out of my home and I work now in the home because I wanted to are sooooooo wrong. I spent 45 years working inhouse, not only working away from my home but also taking children back and forth to various daycares, sitters and the like. We were sent home from the transcription dept, not by choice, but because the hospital wanted to enlarge and they wanted our place. Before speaking, you should really think about things because when you assume you are usually wrong, as in this case. I have children I raised and are out on their own now and have grandchildren. No, I don't like housework and I don't have to do it either as I have a housekeeper. Just my husband, pets and myself but I have a really big home and being as my husband is a chef, don't even do that. Own rental property, sold a home last year, debt free and take really wonderful vacations. I work part-time, hubby said could retire if I want to but enjoy my work as I have a strong work ethic, unlike, like I will say again, a lot of the posts I read on this. I have spent my time out from the house working but these oh, woe is me attitudes just make me want to think what in the world is the matter with these people. I will say once more, if they had to hold down a job away from their home, would never be able to make it, too many home items they have to take care of. Not professional when you have to worry about the baby diapers and what am I having for dinner (at work no less)! The problem with most that I am reading is they have never had to work at a real outside job. Probably better for them, wouldn't make it.
you are assuming...
I am not seeking revenge - we are not talking about sporned lovers or cheating business partners. I am seeking prevention of worse crime of all - crime against defenseless, innocent victims. You mention Easter; then lets at least agree on An Eye For An Eye - hit this human again and again, day after day, until his ribs are broken...however, this human can pick up the phone and get treatment for himself; the child and animal cannot, they can only suffer without understanding, and so this is not prevention enough and this human needs to be put away permanently.
Let's see, not assuming your age...
I bet you screamed at The Beatles when they were popular, and yet all on drugs! Give me a break! If those are your qualifications, then The Beatles are horrible role models....jeepers....
P.S. Insert whichever band you like, if Beatles are the wrong era. The point has been made.
Assuming once again and once again
have no earthly idea about what you are talking about. I had no idea I am supposed to feel safer. I can leave my doors unlocked because I am safer here than most folks. How crazy sounding is that? I moved in and had carpet but immediately set forth having my house tiled throughout. Oh gosh, was I supposed to ask someone about that before I did? Oops. I did not even ask their opinion. Sorry, will ask 2 times next time I decide to do that. I have a stand alone home. Maybe the fact you lived in a condo hooked on side by side was the reason they all looked alike. My community looks a lot different and I love the fact of speaking to the other neighbors when I want, not having them at my home 24/7. What is that about a fence and good neighbors? We have invisible fences. Five years here and counting. Best place I have ever lived. Sorry you had such a box of a place to live.
That's assuming they want them
If the other Jacksons want them and love them, fine. Or maybe they're not thrilled with the idea of raising some little white kids who they're not even related to.
Why is there so much assuming on this board
because once you assume you know what you are talking about, usually wrong as you are in this case. I took in my stepgrandchildren, 3 of them, 8, 13 and 15 and raised them for 3 years. Their mother on crack, their father in prison and they went around their real grandmother's home and she sold dope and illegal alcohol from her home. I went to their school, middle and grammer, endlessly. I saw things I never saw as I was growing up, so disrespectful to authority figures. The mother took son to crack house with her, kids lucky to eat 1 meal a day when not living with me. So instead of telling me I don't know, think I have probably lived it. I doubt all the kids getting the diagnosis of attention deficit really fit that category. Oh, tell me I don't know about that either, not so because a neighbor of mine used to get a check and had her son diagnosed just to get a check. Get your head out of the sand.
You are assuming I am atheist...I am not.
You think lightning bolts will strike me??? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
SHE?...poster was right on the assuming
I am not too far away, PAMT, assuming that's PA.
I should come with you! lol
A lot of assuming going on here. Did it happen or
x
Why so hostile? I am not assuming anything
Just asking for opinions that are based on the assumption that it is true. I was getting more responses wanting to know where I got the story and, no offense to anyone intended, but that is not what I needed or asked for, so I tried to politely redirect. Not looking for hostility either.
You are really assuming she has the ability
to speak English first, right? The person I know that gets welfare and section 8 could not construct a sentence. I think any single person who strives to have a gaggle like that has really some deep emotional problem going on.
Quit assuming...
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Assuming she has a newer TV
Aren't we supposed to switch to that 'all digital' thing sometime this month? I don't know what exactly that means to the average TV set. Is it as simple as the type of connection your antenna makes; i.e., coaxial cable, wires and screws, analog?
Since it is a small dog, assuming it's healthy,
it actually should not be hard to place. Do contact rescues in your area if you don't have a network of dog-loving people you really know well. Also vets' offices. See if they will put up signs. Sometimes when people lose a pet, they want to get a nice adult dog fast so they won't be alone.
I'm also in NC, and I know a woman who wants a small dog. She's in her 50s, either divored or widowed, needs a small, clean, adult dog that's already trained and won't cost her a fortune. Look for somebody like that.
That is just wrong. You are assuming these people were going sm
to do the right thing - and what makes you think they would? the dog should have been impounded, they should have contacted the hospital for payment information - did they? No. The victim has to pay or her credit is screwed. Her insurance could refuse to pay - they could investigate the dog bite and see who the culprit was - but they choose to pay - so not fraudulent. The people have not done anything it sounds like and now you are very quick to jump on this mom who obviously made a few mistakes and just wants to know what to do next to correct them. Wow.
People, you just got to quit assuming!
I am born and raised in the south. I live in Georgia now and have for the past 40 something years. I do not eat crawfish, never. I eat ice cream and never heard the term "wet nuts" is that a term for boiled peanuts? If so, never had those either. I do not eat things like squirrel, rabbit and the like. In my home we cook with olive oil (never lard or grease), do not use flour in any cooking, don't even have it in our home, do not eat fast food items. At home we lean towards Italian dishes, husband makes a wonderful salad dressing with garlic, olive oil, herbs and the like and also makes a mean spaghetti. I love stromboli and love olives (remember I am a true Southern girl). Why in the world people assume because you were born or live in a certain part of the country means you are this way or that, I will never know. When you assume you are generally wrong. I learned that years ago and the posting above fits that category.
Assuming- everyone's credit is poor?
Where in the world do you get that idea from? Quit assuming because when you do you are usually wrong- case in point. My credit is excellent and has been for years and years.
Told you about assuming. Said I should have bought. It was a gift and
my mother always said "don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Tsk, tsk.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
I had them as an adult (sm)
I had braces from about 27 to 31 years old. It was painful - but definitely worth it. I had a crossbite that was embarassing to me for years. You will get used to wearing the braces and won't be so self-conscious soon - it's just because they're new that it's bothering you right now. And it will be worth it when you're done!
adult boy
Thank you. I hate it when people blast others.
I have adult ADD....
as well as depression, anxiety and OCD. After battling for years with just the depression symptoms, there were still concerns in my life which I thought medication and therapy could fix but didn't. These things drove me crazy...Not being able to finish a project - for example a crochet throw I have been working on for over 5 years, various projects started and left hanging, never able to keep at the same task, etc. Now with the help of Adderall I am able to focus for a few hours at a time (I do have withdrawal effects) and I am able to work with less distraction. It has not been a cure-all, but it has brought me some peace of mind being able to get my work done in a reasonable period of time, rather than having the constant urges to do other things.
he was an adult, by our standards, and would have been--sm
accountable for his own actions if he had been arrested and sent to trial. However, if there was familial abuse involved which perpetuated this act of violence, it should be addressed in some manner, but not for the parents to be held accountable for what he did as a result of it. Sometimes even knowing about a person's difficulties is not enough to change them or prevent them from doing something horrible like this. Obviously there were a lot of people, in retrospect, who felt this person had severe problems and they chose to do nothing about it either. He was seeing a therapist, but should the therapist be held accountable, as well? It just comes down to every one being accountable for their own actions.
No, he is an adult and responsible for himself.
nm
on adult swim
I've seen it.....What about The Boondocks or South Park? I have too have a sick and twisted sense of humor.....
Too bad some responsible adult...
could not get those kids. We have a celebutard, immature, crazy mother against a wanna be anything hanger on who is only interested in money...some role models! I hope there is money put away for the therapy those kids will need. The parents even give white trash a bad name!
Adult Behavioral Changes
Call a neurologist who specializes, one who may probabably also have a PhD in Psych. Go in by yourself if you have to and describe what you are experiencing and maybe he or she can give you some direction and information that may help you have your husband evaluated. There are tests he can administer and others that he can send him out for. There are several things that come to mind, but without evaluation this is speculation. It is possible that after you consult a neurologist that he may send you out for evaluation by either a psychologist or psychiatrist, or both. Maybe he has family members or good friends who will help you to encourage him to be evaluated? No matter the outcome, it is best if you consult someone professional who can steer you in the right direction. Best wishes to you. I will be thinking of you. Let us know how this works out.
Legally, yes, but how adult were you at 18? nm
m
Perks of being an adult
Sometimes I feel like it really stinks to be an adult with all the responsibilities and stress and I'd love to go back to being a child. What are the little perks of being an adult that you have found?
I found a simple one this morning...I picked all the marshmellows out of the last bit of Lucky Charms to have extra in my bowl.  No I won't dare tell my 10yo I did that.  I thought it was a better alternative to having a brownie for breakfast which is what I really wanted!
You're obviously the only ADULT between the two
Someone has to teach your daughter to have the money in hand for things you want; otherwise, when will she ever learn to work for what she wants? Handing it over BEFORE the money is made is a huge mistake.
I watched my husband do this with our son and he always said he would pay us back but he needed it NOW because it was on sale or some such garbage. He would be given more labor intensive chores around the house to make the money but never paid us back.
No matter how much I told my son he was not going to get a penny out of me without the job done first, my husband always went behind my back and bought it beforehand, gave it to him, and of course my son had absolutely no motivation to pay for anything. Long story short, he is now 23 years old and still doesn't get the point of working to pay for what you want.....
My husband is very good with money, as am I, but I was raised to pay for what you want and not on credit. Children really need to learn this lesson early on. I was always surprised my husband handed everything over to him because husband worked since he was 12 years old at jobs the labor laws would never allow now! If he wanted anything, he paid for it himself.....the end!! No discussion!
Our son is still loafing around in college, home for summer now, supposed to have a job but of course does not because he knows his dad will not do anything about it, and if I say anything, I get chewed out and disrespected by our son because he knows I have no back up.
You stick to your guns and do what is right..... you do not want her to turn out like that! Her tears will go away. She wanted to umpire, let her umpire and I would definitely tell her how her first responsibility is to umpire. NO CREDIT FOR A TEENAGER!! EVER!
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
I am teaching an adult class sm
but will use this same lesson when we start back with our weekly youth meetings in the fall. I got the idea for this lesson from Fannie Flagg's book Can't Wait to Get to Heaven. The book is obviously fiction but has a "quirky" (most all the characters in the book are quirky-think Mayberry) person's take on heaven when she dies for just a short time and visits heaven. The book is a wonderfully funny read (just a few swear words but it is very clean). I have read all of her books and thoroughly enjoyed them all. Thank you for responding.
Adult ADD? Never diagnosed but wondering (sm)
So all my life I have been disorganized, first it was papers hanging out everywhere from my notebook, now it is everything in the world stuffed in my purse. My mind wanders all the time. I do transcription but flip back and fourth between here and my work and my e-mail and other things on the net that interest me. And i have to have background noise while I do all this. My house gets very cluttered and than I have to work like a maniac to get it cleaned up but still things are kind of in haphazard places, not really organized. I just always feel overly busy, overly tired, and behind on everything. So....could I have ADD? Or am I just too busy, bored with sitting in front of the computer, and disorganized??
I was actually dxd with adult ADD several years back sm
by a psychiologist. I had symptoms similar to yours and was being treated for depression at the time and sent by my psychiatrist to this person who gave me a computer test and then gave me the same test 6-8 weeks later on medication to see if the results were different - and they definitely were. If I recall correctly it had to do with reaction times and how long my concentration was, etc. The results were a little shocking. I think I knew for years I had it - my oldest son was dxd years ago but it was just kind of lurking in the back of my mind and didn't come forward until I started having serious problems with getting my work done and making a decent living at MT... I finally took medication upped my BP so badly I had to quit. I just try to go with the flow now - I have white noise playing in the background while working, shut my door, note on it not to bother me unless house is on fire, set goals for myself and treat myself with done with work and try hard not to let emails and IMs distract me. I leave all my other chores until the very last minute/second and then rush to complete and am always late and cook everything on high and burn or overdo things as always in a hurry - can't remember all of the other things I do - they have just become a part of me. I did do much better on medication and if I seriously needed again would definitely look into another one.
My very first boxer as an adult had kennel
cough. I rescued her from a pet shop under similar circumstances. She had been there with her brother and her brother died. I refused to let her die in a pet store so brought her home took her to the vet and got her started on medication. The first month was rough, there were nights I just sat in bed and held her, she felt so miserable. She finally got through it and after that rocky start she lived to the age of 13.5 with not another medical problem the rest of her life.
18 IS legally considered an adult.
x
sounds like you will have to be the adult in this situation as the ex is not ---
and follow the mother's lead - she knows her daughter, she sees/hears the tantrums and probably way more often than you; she is being the adult in the situation as you are, so don't lose it.
food for thought: she was hurting at the funeral. sometimes people put all their hurts in one pocket and never deal with it, never heal. gram died, the pocket opened and out it all came. you may be only one situation she put away for a rainy day.
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