Aspergers/school/kids
Posted By: Stressed mom of 3 on 2009-03-31
In Reply to: I am so sorry - (sm)
Our boys sound a lot alike. My son was first diagnosed with ADHD, then nonverbal learning disorder, then Aspergers, although the school does not see the Aspergers being a true diagnosis. He has always been in mainstream classes as he is academically very smart. We started out with a 504, then went to IEP but he is not in any special ed classes. His testing scores are in the high average and superior range and he is reading at an 11th grade level in the 6th grade. I held off on the IEP for about a year because I was so afraid of the stigma associated with it. No matter how common it is these days, once kids learn someone has an IEP, they're thought of as one of "those" kids and I didn't want him to go through that. He has been on medication after medication and nothing seems to work in the long run. We have tried trials of him off the meds but within 2 or 3 days we're getting phone calls from the school asking if he has taken his meds that morning because he is having such a rough time concentrating and focusing. Not only is he very smart, he is also a remarkable athlete in hockey, baseball, golf and basketball and making the all star sport teams. He's a great kid with a big heart, but he just doesn't seem to fit in with anybody. I feel his main problem is with social skills and I have been asking for him to see the guidance counselor at school on a regular basis which has not been happening. We live in a very rural area and there are only 18 students in his 6th grade class. They have all been together for the last 6 years and know one another quite well, and by this time the "class order" so to speak is set. There are two boys who seem to be the tough guys and the leaders that everyone follows. Unfortunately, my son is on the bottom of the order and is singled out constantly because of his quirkiness. They will do everything they can to get a rise out of him and think its funny when he reacts. This has been going on for the last 2 years, this year being the worst.
I realize ADHD is common now. My son's teacher told me that about half of the class is ADHD but we are not allowed to know who those students are, we can only speculate. My point is, my son has now been singled out by his teacher telling his classmates he has ADHD so in my mind she violated his privacy rights and has made him more vulnerable to harrassment by kids who are cruel. Am I right or am I wrong? He is already being bullied and this will only give them more ammunition to target him. Already today someone called my son a "sped", meaning special education, although he isn't in special education so this kid has no clue. Admittedly my son doesn't stand up for himself and he just takes it because he wants to fit in so badly. But he is hurting and will get very emotional when we talk about it at home. My husband and I have had enough and it has got to the breaking point. My husband wants to talk to a lawyer but I'm not sure if that is the way to go. I told the teacher on the phone tonight I would like to come in to confront the class and single out each one of the kids that are the worst, naming them in front of their classmates and cause them humiliation and embarrassment. She said that would probably make things worse, which I agree with. Besides I know I wouldn't be allowed to do that anyway.
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Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
However, before my kids were in school,
I was a night owl! Worked until like 3 a.m. because didn't have to get up early, but now, they are both in school, so have to get up early and start working before time to get them up and ready and off!
That's what they do at my kids' school sm
Except it's a cheese sandwich & milk, and they are never turned away with no lunch. My daughter is in 5th grade, and her teacher does a collection each year for the pre-K & K students to help out if they don't have money for lunch. This school year they have raised over $400.
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.
Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.
Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.
GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
Kids: Do you wake them up or do they get themselves up for school? sm
I've told our 16-year-old now junior in high school that she can set her alarm clock and get herself up in the morning and out the door for school, on time, this year, and if she fails to get up on time and is late for school she will lose privileges with them increasing for each time she is late.
What about your kids? How old are they? Are they responsible for getting themselves up in the morning and if so, at what age did they start doing this?
3 kids, but 2 school aged
1. What ages are your kids? 16yo DS and 18yo DD (and 21yo DS)
2. Do they have their own cell phone? Yes, 16yo has a tracfone and 18 yo DD has a Go phone
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: No. We have 1 good computer we all 5 used to share, but that is mostly DD's now that DH and I each got lap tops and oldest DS built a desk top for youngest DS for Christmas. Oldest DS also has a lap top that he bought himself. Nobody has a TV in their room, not even the grown ups. No time limits on use at their ages, but they don't spend near as much time on the 'puters as they did when they were younger.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this? They all have jobs, but the youngest 2 get $5 a week for bringing in wood for the wood stove and burning the trash. Plus youngest DS gets extra here and there for all the help he gives his dad and grandfather on the farms. Their room are their own business at this point. I just put the laundry on the bed and keep the doors closed.
why aren't your kids in school?
No, in the MW our kids go to school to get an acutal
xx
middle school kids who need
The library will accept volunteers at age 11. I would go sign up today.
Every other place has insurance restrictions for age.
All the camps around here fill up in February or March, but I would still try to find her something fun to do. Meeting other kids at camp may cost you money, but when she is there she is not thinking about money, just being with the other kids her age.
Can you help with questions for intermediate school kids? sm
I'm going to be giving a little bit of a talk on growing up in an alcoholic family and we are supposed to come up with some questions to put in a hat in case the kids don't ask any or we need more. What do you think intermediate school-age students would be curious about in regards to growing up with alcoholism? Thanks!
Kids and money for school things...sm
Here is it is.... January 30th and since January 1st I've been asked by my 16-year-old for:
$90 for a graphing calculator for the calculus class
$85 for school yearbook (and price goes up 2/1 by $15..she didn't tell me any of this until now)
$30 for hoodie for yearbook club
$15 for drama t-shirt for spring production... which she has exactly 2 lines in and will not be on the stage any other time.
Total: $220.
I bought the calculator as it was necessary and I know she'll use it again in college. I've offered to pay half of the yearbook if she'll raise the other half. For the shirts I've told her to raise the money herself. The drama team is also looking to possibly go to New York for a few days to take in shows in May and gosh only knows what that would cost... if it gets approved.
She doesn't work and says if she gets a part-time job then she can't do the drama production as they practice 3 days a week until 8 p.m. .... well hello she has only 2 lines in it and isn't even in any other scenes.
I told her to get a job or start offering to babysit for money. I'm tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death for fru-fru non-essential expenses.... especially since we just spent $700 on car repairs and $250 for surgery on the dog (abscess on foot - she stepped on something at some point and messed herself up) and medical bills are coming in from my husband's numerous medical tests he had in November. I'm not going to pay for her to go to New York either when that would probably take out entire family vacation money for the summer. Once those numbers come in we'll offer to pay a portion of the cost but that's it.
She also insists she wants to go to college out of state, and her dad and I have also told her she has to figure out how to pay for that because we're not going in debt for that when she can get a free education from the lottery in our state by going to a state school. She doesn't do any volunteer work, play sports or have any special talents that would qualify her for scholarships.
I told her that it's time to grow up and realize there is no money tree in our back yard, and I'm not going to bust my butt working extra jobs to buy these things for her.
our kids have a 2 minute walk from school and
they have already been heckled by meaner kids, they even threw a beer bottle at my 5 year old. I stood behind a fence one day and stepped out in front of him just as he was rounding the corner and told him that if he ever even so much as talked to my kids again I would follow him home and tell his parents exactly what was going on. I told him that I would also talk to the principal, who I know on a first-name basis as i am VP of the PTO. I put the fear of God in that child but I still do not trust him or his little band of siblings he walks with. I almost fear other children more than I do strangers!
My kids dont start school until two days after.. sm
labor day. I usually hit the sales for back to school stuff around this time. Right now I have all our school supplies bought and all our back to school clothes bought. Just need to get shoes, which I dont do until end of August. We usually do a family vacation the end of July first part of August. I also get up extra early every day over the summer so that all my work is done no later than noon. That way I have the rest of the day to play with my kids. My girls are 12, 9, and 6. We put a huge pool in this spring, so we are swimming almost every day. I also try to take them to places like the pottery store where we can sit and paint and just have fun. I try to make all of their days as fun and vacation-like as I can. For the last couple of years we havent really went away for our family vacation. We just find one or two day trips, like the amusement park, zoos, and that sort of thing. So many schools are starting earlier and earlier, but I am thankful that our school system is still on the after labor day schedule.
my kids high school has rats falling from ceiling
For the record, Howard County Maryland was just ranked #1 in per capita income IN THE COUNTRY, yet my kids high school had 6 rats fall through the cafeteria ceiling Wednesday. Last year it was rats and sewage - three separate instances where sewage came up through the emergency shower, dripped from the hall ceilings, and came through the child life development pipes. Oh, sure that was fixed. And how in the world did the health department okay this? I tell ya, we sure do NOT put our money where our mouth is on this education battle. Our team mascot should NOT be Ben the rat!! Just so angry over it all.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Yes, and friends too. But school is where kids learn facts, so whatever their teacher says (sm)
they are going to think it must be right. I think that is unfair leverage to use to support your own point of view as a teacher.
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.
I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.
Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
In our school district you can go to any school that you want
but you actually have to pay if you don't live in the District. The private schools here are outrageously priced. You could almost send your child to a community college for the amount they charge.
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
Job available at school.
Okay, I have been doing this for 8 years. I think I should be more productive than I am for that much experience. I only do between 1200 to 1300 lines a day. I am also just so tired of it. Today, the hospital's network is very very slow and that certainly doesn't help me and I have to make up the time while my kids are at home which is not very easy...KWIM. Again, just tired of it.
There is a job opening available at DD. elemetry school about an elementry teacher aide. It has no specific qualifications just send resume to the superintendent. Well, I looked online and it seems the basic requirements are HS diploma, good understanding of children, good physical condition. I match that. I am a mother of 2, my 5 yo was at the top of her class last year (might be a good qualification for me), I referreed fights etc., supervised dd and her friends on outings, babysat school age kids.
I am just thinking of things that might qualify me for the job. I have kept this job for 8 years, the job before that was 6 years as a nurses aide at another hospital so longevity might be a plus. I have never worked anywhere except a hospital. Well, I did work for an MTSO for a short time, 6 months.
There is a number I could call. It is voice mail. I was going to call and ask exactly what are they looking for so I would know whether or not to bother with it but I am not very good at asking for something I need. Any suggestions, comments. TIA.
School
I would be livid! Go through the principal, (complain loudly) on how embarrassed your daughter was, etc. You'll get results I'm sure. As a last resort, get a doctor's excuse.
School
I am 56 and working on my third degree. I love going to school, and I think the older I get, the more it helps keep me sharp. You might try asking a local college about scolarship opportunities. Some of them have special programs geared for women.
My take is WHY did the school let a
freshman take a senior course? Advanced or not, she probably does not have the background to be able to keep up with it. My daughter is also a freshman and took Algebra II in 8th grade, so they automatically put her in geometry. There is no way I would have let her take a physics class now.
re: school
I am a mom of two teenage boys and I do not think the school should have been the ones to punish the child since it didn't take place at the school from school computers or on school property. It is the parent's responsibility to reprimand the child when something is done by their child in the home. Since the teacher found out about it, that teacher should have called the parent and should have allowed the parent to take the appropriate action. Teachers should not under any circumstances have the authority to reprimand children at home under their parent's care. Only when something like this happens from school, on school property, from a school computer should the teacher have that authority. I used to work in a public school and there are boundaries as to how far teachers should go. The rest is up to parents!
We met at school
Best friend's boyfriend at that time and I absolutely could not stand him!
Then we ended up kind of *stuck* together when we went out with a group of friends. Somehow we just clicked and from that first night, I knew we were going to be together forever! That night while all the other couples were making out like crazy, he and I just sat on a playground slide and talked. Then at the end of the night, he kissed me on the cheek...I knew right then I was hooked. We've been married 21 years, have 3 children, and are expecting our first grandchild in August!!! Aww, whatta love story
I don't know what everyone's school districts
are like, but I don't have any of these problems. Even at our old house that was in a little more of a low-income area, the school was okay. I noticed a huge difference in the kids and the parents over there though, but I have had no problems with my kids in public school.
They both are testing above average. My daughter is in K and has a sheet she is to work on all month and then turn in, nothing too serious. My son usually does his homework/reading on the bus or spends about 30 minutes at the most completing it when he gets home.
Maybe I am just lucky that they both excel without any pushing from me or the school or I just am in a great school district, although I know we are in the best in Texas. My son does have some anger problems sometimes and a few problems with self-control. We work on this and I think the idea about the martial arts is an excellent one. In fact, we are looking at places to enroll him out here. He is pushing to go back to gymnastics though, so we will see. Honestly, I think any extracurricular activity that is in a nurturing environment is a good idea for every kid.
Public school
I have a granddaughter in the mountains of North Carolina in the fifth grade, who has teachers from you know where.. They should not be in a school setting. One used four letter words and they were not love. They will not go out with the students at recess, so it is a free for all with three to five grades out there all at once. There is bullying and if she says anything, the teacher says she is squealing. I don't think when your knees are bleeding from being knocked down, it is squealing. The third grade was awful. They finally got her moved out of there into another class and the teacher was wonderful. That was about three months before the year was over and that was because they went to the superintendent of schools. Next year was bad and this year is the worse. The teacher tells the student she cannot believe the students are that ignorant, loses papers the students turn in and then gives them a zero. Her mother saved her papers and showed them to the teacher and she had some phony excuse, like she had so many papers to correct. Teachers are supposed to do that. The teacher also has a teacher's aide three times a week and there are only 15 students in the class. She also calls my granddaughter a liar when she says she turned her papers in. She says my granddaughter is to lazy to do the work. My granddaughter loves school, is on the honor roll and would have made the principal's list had the teacher not lost three papers that my granddaughter had turned and gave her the grade she deserved instead of giving her a zero three times. Don't say go to the school and the principal. When they go, the teacher acts so nice and after they leave, she picks on my granddaughter and tells her not to go home and tell her parents things that are not true. The principal does nothing. They have her on a list for a private school and after paying taxes, no one should have to pay to go to a private school, but that is what you have to do. I cannot believe that all the parents do not get together and descend on the principal's office. My granddaughter loves school but not this year because of the teacher. Cannot wait for the year to be over. She has been humiliated in front of her classmates and when a classmate tries to stand up for her and tell the teacher she is not talking or doing any of what the teacher says she is doing, she tells the classmates not to try to take any sides. She is a very loving, sweet, and intelligent girl and what she has to go through every day, makes my skin crawl. When school is out, I am going to write the principal, the teacher and the superintendent of schools and tell them what I think of their teachers. If they did away with tenure, maybe the teachers would take their work more seriously. I never worked for a company that told me if I stayed with them for 10 years, I could not be fired. Ridiculous. The principal does not like to report anything is wrong because in the reports they have to send to the state board of education, the more problems the school has, the less money they get, so they do not report anything is wrong. Report cards were given out Friday and the teacher wrote that she was a very good student, and a pleasure to have her in the class. Why write that when all you do is pick on her. To protect herself when things get tough. Thank you for letting me vent.
church school
Well, I didn't say the ONLY place to find teachers who care is at a church school, and I certainly don't believe that. I do think your chances of finding them in a church school are a whole lot higher, however. I didn't intend to create a religious argument either. I was genuinely interested in why you would not want your children in a church school.
Public School
My husband and I have two special needs children and homeschooling was the best thing we could have ever done for them. My oldest child is learning up a storm and my youngest child is going to start being home-schooled next year. We both work full-time and we still find time to homeschool. It does not take as much time as you would think. There is just you teaching your kids and it goes a lot faster and they learn faster. We thought we could not homeschool, but we were forced to as the public school did nothing for our son and now nothing for our other child. You can do more than you think you can if you have to. Good luck!
Many phases during school
I was gothish for a while myself. Doesn't sound she's been doing it too long if she was asking for different makeup last summer. I dressed goth even longer than I really felt like just because my parents rode my butt about it.
I used to be school room Mom
There is a game where you put items in a paper bag like combs, hair things, rubberbands, paper clips, ect. The child is blindfolded or put the bag of goodies behind the back. Let the child reach into the bag and try to guess what he pulls out without looking. Decorating cupcakes is also fun. Take cupcakes or cookies to school and let the kids be creative. Around Xmas we did gingerbread type houses out of gram crackers and icing. Let them make valentine cards for a parent/friend out of paper and allow them to glue on glitter that sort of thing. Good luck!
Another school rule...
just another reason I am glad I homeschool!
A local school district just informed the students via announcement over the PA system that "Farting" in class can now result in AEP placement! I couldn't believe it so I've questioned some of the kids that go there. All I've questioned say yes, that's what they said.
How stupi*d can you get?
New School Rules
Not every child does this for attention. If you had read the post -- you do know how to read right? The original poster stated that her child has a medical condition! I think it is wrong to punish a child for doing something that a body does naturally especially if it is due to a medical condition! There are a lot of good teachers out there and a lot of not so good teachers. There are a lot that need to get back to teaching instead of worrying about this sort of thing. If you ignore it -- children will not do it because it did not bring about the attention they sought to get. And if it is due to a medical condition the teacher will have to deal with it! I have GERD and my stomach makes noises all day long. Are you going to come after me too?
New school rules.
My children do not do any of these things to the best of my knowledge. They do not do it at home because they were taught that it is rude, but if it happens to say excuse me which I believe is the polite thing to do. I have never heard of them doing this in school either. However, I do believe that if a child has a medical problem he/she can politely say excuse me and should not be punished. I'm not saying it is proper behavior -- just that if it happens the child can say excuse me. At my daughter's school not all of the teachers allow children to leave the classroom during class to use the bathroom. I don't agree with that either. I guess that makes me a monster.
Anyone who has just finished school
would be more apt to pass the CMT test. However, to say that would eliminate "toilet errors" is not the way I see it. Someone with a lot of years experience in this field is just as good as a CMT if not better. Passing a test and putting initials after your name means nothing when it comes to work ethic, discipline, and experience. I just think if you have 9 years of experience, you are going to be just as attractive as someone with a CMT. It seems to me companies or physicians seek well-rounded MTs that have experience in quite a few specialties as opposed to having CMT after your name. I am not so sure physicians are aware of this testing process, but the Nationals seem to have bitten on it, but I'm not so sure it gets you any more money. I've read posts where it does not gain you anything more than something else to put on the resume. If you want to become more attractive, then I'd say branch out into more specialties or may be even take a business course to expand your knowledge. CMT, in my opinion, is a waste of money especially when you have verbatim accounts and the client is always right, no matter what "the books" or for that matter AAMT has to say about the way it should be done. Just another opinion.
My Dad was from the old school of thought
He did not believe in spending a lot of money at Christmas. He always said "it is the thought that counts". He would wrap up little gifts for myself, my brothers and our spouses. One year, I got a box of Smith's cough drops and TUMS. My sister-in-law got a bar of soap. My husband got a deck of cards (used from Atlantic City). We joked about how silly this seemed, but when my Dad passed away we sure missed those cough drops, cards, TUMS, etc. I think it was his way of adding a little humor to the holiday and to show us he cared. Usually a gift is given from the heart. There will come a time when the gifts (or gifter) is no longer there to give. That is when you will truly "appreciate" those gifts.
Our school system already has a
dress code in place, no belly shirts, shorts and jeans have to be a certain length, no huge baggy jeans on boys, etc. I know for a fact this is being in enforced in most of the schools becuase not only do I transcribe, I also substitute. My niece's parents were called over shorts that were to short. My son also had to change into his gym shirt because he was wearing a (green) T-shirt from Octoberfest with a beer mug (in all white) on it. That was my fault, I stupidly did not think anything of it but would not have let him wear it had I realized what it was advertising. My kids and so many other do follow the rules. I don't think they should be penalized for the few that don't. We live in a small town so we don't have many of the same problems that bigger cities have. At the first of 3 forums the other night, the auditorium was packed and not a single person spoke in favor of this. I would like to know how this will improve our education system.
Well, as an ex-school bus driver...
Shut Up and Hold On!
A teacher at my son's school...
on the radio! Isn't that AWESOME...especially since teachers are highly underpaid...just wanted to share...
Notify the school
They have police officers in most schools to help deal with problem kids.
were you referring to the guy that's old school
nm
When is school out in your area? sm
It's Friday here for the Atlanta area. One child is eager for the last day to arrive and the other doesn't want to school to end because she'll miss seeing her friends each day.
School is out on Thursday here nm
x
School out on Friday in MS.....wish they
nm
Call the school to see what help they may be able to
asdf
ONLINE SCHOOL
Here where we live for the past two years they have had online high school. I don't know anyone who goes, but it sounds like a good alternative. When my kids (all grown up now) were in Catholic school I reduced the tuition by working there for free three days a week. Could you work something out?
What are you studying at school? nm
xx
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