As you said in post "it just boils down to lack of disipline
Posted By: and interest on the parent's part. nm on 2007-05-25
In Reply to: It's going to be a long summer. I need advice....sm - fed up
sd
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haha! I think you hit it right now b/c "It's just money!" is my
husband's fav. term! haha
Let me guess, the 15 yo says, "It's not fair!"
I can hear it now, because I have three teenagers and I've been working with teens for years. I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard a drawn out exclamation, "It's not faaaiiiirrr."
My opinion: The 15 yo doesn't need more clothes, the 8 yo does need the long sleeved shirts. Therefore, it IS fair to spend money on one and not the other. It wouldn't be fair if the older child received something he/she does not need simply because needed items are being bought for the younger child.
Kids are very poor judges of fairness when it comes to getting "stuff" that they want. They have a hard time discerning between what they want and what they need, and a good many of them have no real appreciation for how much effort parents put into earning money and providing for their children. The kids just want, want, and want.
You are the parent, you are the judge and jury when it comes to decided what they need and what your budget can handle. Here's an opportunity to really teach fairness.
And if the kid continues to whine about it, turn your back and walk away. It takes two to argue. Give your reasons for your decision ONCE and walk away. Don't be manipulated, or your child will learn to be a manipulator.
Now, if the 15 year old wants to go and earn money OUTSIDE of the house, or do some out-of-the-ordinary chore that you are willing to pay for, say clean the garage. That's another good lesson. Work, earn, achieve. But I don't pay out cash for regular everyday stuff that has to be done simply because we all live together. When you do that, then it's hard to get them to do regular chores if a child doesn't need money.
Hey, invite me to give an opinion, and that's just what I do!
"It's A Small World After All" --
Ever gone to Disneyland and stood in the long line outside of the Small World ride? They play the song about 4 million times, and that's before you ever even get in there and get into the car, or boat, or whatever it is. By the time you're halfway through the ride, you'll feel ready to jump out and run screaming for the exit. Not to mention having the rest of your day at Disneyland tainted by that song running through your head hour after hour.
So then, at the end of the day you attend the Main Street Electrical Parade, and the theme song for that one is even more insidious and intrusive on your brain than Small World!
Still worse is the fact that it's written to run in counterpoint with "It's a Small World", "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah", and just about every other well-known Disney song. So NOW your poor brain has multiple, unstoppable songs bouncing around the inside of your skull, possibly for DAYS.
Yes, those songs are EVIL -- probably some form of "Disney Mind Control"..........
"It's the thought that counts" - sm
Anyone who thinks enough of you to give you anything at all, deserves a heart-felt 'thank you'. All it means in the end is that they gave you something to let you know you mean something to them.
When I was a kid, a girl I knew had about 30 friends she wanted to give a holiday card to, and only had 15 cards. And no money to buy more.
So, she tore each card in half, and gave each half to all 30 of her friends. Sure, you got a printed message that either said,
'Merry Chr-
an-
Happy Ne-',
or else you got one that said,
'-istmas
-d a
-w Year'.
But each half had a personal, handwritten holiday message to the recipient on it, and we all treasured our half-cards as much as if they'd been whole, because of the person that gave them to us.
So, it really is the though that counts!
I have lack of god as you put it, and
I hate to tell you, but you can be a good person and not believe in god. I'm not a criminal because I choose not to be not because I believe in god.
I'm so sick of hearing this kind of thing! I do not judge other people because they believe in god even though it's my opinion that they are wrong. However, all of the preachy people that throw god in my and everyone else's face, claim to be so righteous, etc., they judge me and everyone else. In fact, some of the most uncaring, insensitive, hateful people I have met have been "religious." Believing in god definitely didn't make them a good person.
Why does everything have to be about god with some people? What ever happened to religion being a personal choice and a personal thing between you and whatever you worship? Why do you have to force it on everyone else?
I don't force the fact that I don't believe in god on anyone else. I don't constantly tell them why there is no god and the reasons why I think that, but for some reason it's ok for other people to do the opposite to me and other's like me. What is it, if you hide behind religion it's ok to do/say whatever you want? If that's what having faith gets you, no thanks!
Lack of help from future son-in-law
Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I'm moving 60 miles away from where I'm now living next weekend for a new job at a big hospital in my hometown. I'm excited but nervous also. My daughter is getting married in November. I only have about 3 rooms of furniture and a lot of it is already boxed and in a storage room. I asked my daughter if "Bruce," her fiance, and his buddies could help move me, as I am single, with no father, brothers or friends who are able-bodied any longer (I'm 50+). She asked him and grudgingly he said something to the effect that he could, but we would have load the truck the night before and he would have to be finished up before noon the next day, and his friend would help for $200(!). The last straw was he told my daughter to tell me not to expect to have boxes, furniture placed or set up, because he HAD to get to the "Mud Bog" by 12:00 sharp.
Is this any way to treat a future in-law? He knows I don't have any family really. I did get a couple of co-workers and their husband/brother to help, thank goodness, but I'm really worried about the future with this boy--respect for me, priorities, selfishness--thanks in advance.
Lack of due care goes either way
x
What to do about lack of pets --
Got a problem...
I had a Pomeranian for 5 years. Had a cat for 4 months.
Last month I found out I was going to have to move (could not afford the old house any longer) and I found an apartment that would allow me to have my dog. Then, lo and behold, 2 weeks ago (4 days before I moved), someone stole my dog out of my backyard (no, did not get loose - someone took him). I canvassed the neighborhood, had the police visit several homes that were possible snatchers, but ended up having to move without finding him.
Well, the landlord would still not allow me to keep the cat even with paying a nice fat animal deposit so today I had to turn him over to the humane society. My daughter had planned on taking him, but he was just a little too aggressive for the 1 year old granddaughter.
So, now, I am sitting here missing my babies and thinking I am going to have to get another dog. Obviously I do not have a lot of money to spend on another dog, but I need and want the companionship and the fun that comes along with a dog. So, some suggestions on what you think would be the best for me to get.
I really love the dogs with all the hair (Shih Tzu, Pomeranian, Pekingese, etc), but I also think how nice it would be not to have all the hair all over me and the house. I also think that a "mutt" might make a good choice, but upon my visit to the humane society today to turn over my cat, there was nothing but big dogs and I had to move into an apartment, so I think that would be too much.
Darn it, I am just lonely and feel like I have lost 2 of my kids right now!
plain and simple, lack of God.
x
excuse my lack of knowledge, but
I thought medicinal marijuana was legalized in CA some time ago. What a horrible situation, this calls for an uprising, let the power of the people be heard. That is exactly why this stuff is going on - we let it.
sleep, or lack thereof
I read somewhere this past week that Sarah Palin only requires 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night. I remember in the past reading the same about Jay Leno. For a long time now I have thought about how much more I could accomplish if I could just get by on less sleep. I seem to function well with 7 hours and usually that is what I get.
Do you think that the ability to sleep 3 to 4 hours a night and actually function normally and enjoy life is a gift that a person is born with, or do you think it is something that can be learned? Do you think a person could get 1/2 hour less sleep per night every week, gradually getting used to less and less sleep, and still function well? Am I the only one who thinks about these things? 
Please share your thoughts on this. Do you know anybody who sleeps so few hours, and what is their quality of life?
Even if I was to try to overcome my lack of desire for him (sm)
He did in one case admit to cheating with a girl he met while fishing from a pier in the Outer Banks. He then denied saying that, but of course he said it. I have children to raise. Should I expose myself to possible diseases? He still has not gone to get tested, so why should I give in to him?
lack of etiquette just means one is a goon....
!!!
I read that a lack of vitamin D and boron can
cause psoriasis. The article said that a lot of vegetarians don't get psoriasis because they have a diet high in boron which helps with the conversion of vitamin D. It is because vegetarians eat food high in boron and vitamin D, i.e., veggies, fruit, etc, and the soild the veggies are grown in is high in these nutrients.
There was a post on here about helping psoriasis so I thought I would throw that in! Hope it helps.
Well, if the shoe fits....her mothering *skills* or lack of
were atrocious. The fact she even had another baby and it was born methadone addicted is atrocious. The way she treated that old man, first off just marrying an 87-year-old crippled man because he was a billionaire(you think if he worked at McDonald's she'd have fallen IN LOVE with him?), and then holding a tape recorder up to him while exposing her breasts to get him to say "I want you to have half my money when I die" was atrocious, and how she then without any embarrassment at all fought HIS BLOOD FAMILY for his money after he was dead was atrocious. Meanwhile she was screwing around with other guys in the old man's bed while he was in the hosital! She was pure white trash and would do anything for money and recognition, so like I said if the shoe fits.... I certainly hope not but would NEVER doubt anything when it comes to that woman. Feel bad that she died but I'm no hypocrite and so I don't change my way of thinking just because someone tragically died, as so many others do......
Posts speak volumes in lack of trust
people have with their daughters. I have grown daughter so I guess now would be a different ballgame in the fact so many girls feel having sex and making babies at any young age, really young, is par for the course. Just talked with my 30 something daughter a few minutes ago and ran past her and she also thought creepy to keep list of periods. I guess you really have to do that these days though.
For me it is lack of sleep. I also can get them if my lips are chapped and peeling
and I bit at them, I will wake up the next day with a cold sore...I also get them on the rim of my nose and inside my nose(gross I know)and these come from me rubbing my nose too much from allergies!!!! Lysine helps some but I still tend to get them....STRESS, stress, stress!!!
Why wait for dad? When you do that, you imply you are the weaker parent, for lack of
You told him to sit for 4 hours (which I agree was harsh for an 8-yo) and gave in after 30 mins. Say what you mean and mean what you say, or the kids will think you're a pushover. Don't leave dad to be the enforcer, you enforce the rules, otherwise they'll fear dad but not you. Know what I mean?
WIRELESS NETWORK!!!- sounds like you are getting hacked (for lack of a better term)
You need to secure your network. Check outside your home at these times for a strange car. A neighbor with a teenage boy or girl using a wifi connection to access your network getting on a porn or gaming site that bills via a VOIP dial-up It can be done.
you want to make sure they cant access you need to secure your network with passwords and such and turn your router off at night when you go to bed no wireless = no connection.
Hope this helps feel free to email if you need some more info.
disgusting shows are proof of lack of intelligence of producers.
nm
Our kids got their own credit/debit cards when they hit 18 and got jobs. Their success or lack of
s
I did leave MQ, thanks to lack of work started PT with another company and full time yesteday.
.
Well, you post with something that is going to --sm
get your *butt jumped* and then you cry when someone does. judgemental of everything, huh? don't get your halo in a twist. geez.
your post says *they*...
Is more than 1 of your children living with this person? Just curious...
Thank you for your post....sm
at least YOU seem to understand the concept of what a thyroid problem can do to a person...unlike anon poster below, who has a very closed mind about ANYthing she does not agree with.
My thyroid problem is quite bad. I HAVE seen an endocrinologist who explained that thyroid disease is an autoimmune disease, where the body attacks certain organs for no reason. I did not do well on synthetic thyroid replacement and switched to a *natural* form. I am currently taking 120 mg daily and that is a lot. The endocrinologist said that my thyroid was barely functioning at all.
I feel very bad for your brother in law, as I truly understand how he feels. Thank you again for your understanding support for my problem, rather than attacking me with being a food junky, being paranoid, needing a psychiatrist, telling me I am nuts, and to pursue bariatric surgery, which all tends to lower my already low self-esteem. thank you for your courage to post. It is nice to know that SOME people understand.
was the *duh* in yer post necessary?.....
#
better post than your first one *LOL*
I like what you said there - you have had a GOOD solid thing for 41 years now.......or thereabouts with your husband -
Doing this to him, even surreptitiously....do you think this is what HE deserves after you having a full life with him? Do you have a conscience? Even if you don't see this guy from 900 miles away - YOU'RE STILL CHEATING, you are carrying on a secret relationship in a secret email account behind your husband's back.........
I ain't judging.........but points upward.........towards G_d.........
jes' sayin'..............
how did this post above from 1/16/07 end up
on the top of GAB BOARD? And silly me, I answered it *LOL* - says Jan 16, 2007....all below this are March of 2007........very bizarre...someone probably trying to invoke conversation(?)
very_curious_indeed
what does this have to do with my post?
to be adopted already....
I really liked your post, thanks for that!!!..sm
I so respect what you said/typed.......thank you :)
oh that post is NOT *way down below*...sm
it's right under this post *ROFL*....I'm tired.....
Cut off from above post: j/k nm
uhijok
Post (SM)
All prayer requests belong on the Prayer Request board. You access it by going to the Gab board first, then clicking the Prayer Request link just above the posts.
I have not received any emails from you regardnig your post.
Sorry to post again about this but (sm)
Divorce is a huge decision - I have been talking to family and friends but this is the only place I can get anonymous opinions from a lot of people, and it is more likely that someone here may have been through something similar. My husband now is asking me to not go. But he has already told me just a few nights ago that he was never happy with me, was always disappointed and frustrated with who I am, and that this is probably the reason he hit me a few years ago. He went nuts a few years ago during a very minor argument (children were not present), and now says that it was probably because of years of frustration. But now he is once again asking me to stay. Because my parents are divorced he says that "divorce is the only thing I know" when faced with conflict. I have been here almost 14 years and he has never been happy with me. Even when I was young and thin and our house was spotless. My question is - if he has never been happy with me, and I have always been a source of frustration, why should I stay now and expect things to improve? We have been to 4 marriage counsellors in the past. I am scared about leaving and I still do love him deep down, but why continue to stay if I will never be good enough?
I should have put LOL after my post
about the fancy car. My parents and my MIL drive "fancy" cars. I agree that wasn't a nice thing to say.
Well, here you can post what you think
Well, here you can post what you think is an awesome idea or might we say lame... (Creativity is the key)
I'll start with:
Awesome:
Water powered cars...
Lame:
Really cool stuff that is ridiculously expensive(i.e. PS3)
Please do post a pic of your pup
if you haven't already. Hayseed knows how.
Was this post really necessary?
Why bother reading a post that doesn't interest you just to post something rude and totally unnecessary? I for one love hearing about the good things in life. It's not just all work, work, work.
see my post sm
Would anyone who has used Cymbalta please reply to my post on the Mental Health board. I think this is suitable for "gab" but only one answer on that board. Thanks! BTW, I don't think exhaustion and pain from this profession is all "in our mind." I hope you agree.
Post her pic?
//
I saw that post too
I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused. This is a gab board and that's what we're doing gabbing about cats and other animals. If he/she isn't interested, just don't read the posts. By the way, I have an all black Halloween cat and the kids get a big kick out of him when them come to the door.
I think your post is right on
My hubs and I have separate and I trust him beyond belief, would never know what he made a year except at tax time. I think it is great to have hubs you trust and can take care of things like yours does. Seems like a dream deal to me. I could care less for doing anything when it comes to financial deals but sometimes have to fool with that. If I had a hubs that dealt with everything, I would be more than happy. You are blessed.
Just saw this post
Yes, his anal glands were really impacted- the post below this 1 helped me tremendously. Never knew felines got that way. He went to the veterinarian the very day I learned about the possibility of what it could be, the vet expressed the glands and relieved that problem. Yesterday my big boy (20 and a half lbs) went to the groomers to get him all cleaned and smelling good again. One more thing I learned- he is double furred boy and hair was even growing over his anus which had to be shaved. He is quite the handsome guy today!
100% right and that is my post
Give varied foods to be served but can you just imagine if 10 or more kids would not eat and demanded certain foods for their own eating? Did not say kids should be forced to eat anything but definitely needs vegetables in their diet. Sit foods on the table, not much fuss and let the child eat and eat good, no junk stuff, no Cokes, no sweetened drinks, no overloading on the chips, cookies and other sweets.
By the way, there is a second pic in that post above. (nm)
.
I just had to post this pic too!
This is my youngest, Scooter, when we first brought him home 2 years ago. He is MUCH bigger now! LOL!
Above post is IMO, of course.
x
Thanks for your post
She's actually the one that's hard on herself. If she was in regular classes it wouldn't matter to me. I'll see what happens when she gets home in an hour.
The post above you was right
You have said as much by "someone saying to mind your own business." It is her business, not any of yours at all. As far as the thrown away card, once a person is given a present, whether it is a card or whatever it is, it is their property then and the person can toss it, hold onto it or do what they like. She is minding her own business as you should. In your posts you come back time and again about what friends you were, how you emailed every day, you seem really clingy to this person, like you cannot make it another day before you hear from her. Do you have any life of your own?
your post
The mare is foaling - NOT having a "baby" thats human and she will either have a colt (male) or a filly (female)
FYI
your post
Sorry Cat, but NO apology is necessary -- the word "foal" was used in the original post, for those who don't know, "give birth" would have been a better term and BTW -- I am the granddaughter of a cattle rancher and have seen my share from BIRTH TO DEATH -- and we are talking 25,000 acres as well thank you VERY much
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