As women, I think we all tend to have issues with our MILs...
Posted By: MtMommyof2 on 2008-11-26
In Reply to: You give me hope... - Kendra
No one is ever good enough for their sons, kind of thing--lol
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I think that women have issues because of their mothers.
I know I have some, but try to realize what I am doing.
I am sure in would break my MILs heart too but - sm
we spent the day up there for TG; my FIL spent about 10 minutes watching them play outside, then retreated to his recliner and read a book the whole day; my MIL spent absolutely no time with them at all; after all her whining that she doesn't get to see the kids much, and no she was not busy in the kitchen for the 8 hours we were there. I pointed this out to my DH because I don't think he believed me when I said the times I have gone there to spent the night there with the kids, they barely interact with them. So I am sick of their whining (my In-laws) about not spending enough time with the kids.....my MIL couldn't resist a couple digs either but I just ignored them, maybe if she had actually played with them I'd bring them up more...my BIL actually played with them most of the time....
Wow! Just got an email from SIL asking if we want to chip in on MILs b-day dinner
How unusual. She sent it to my DH's email address, as well, so I deleted it and left it for him to answer. She did say in her email, though, that she and the others had talked about it and planned the dinner already -- chose the restaurant, time and menu. Now that they've made all the decisions, we're invited to go, four days from now. So, sounds like we're an afterthought again. I guess one of them must have realized that their mother might miss one of her sons if he didn't show up to dinner.
I tend to believe
that everything is vitamin deficiency. I have had similar symptoms and felt better with magnesium supplementation and Kelp. I also take regular vitamins in addition. You could also be having some side effects from the bcp and Ambien.
I tend to take the attitude that our bodies heal themselves, but I do have to make sure that the food I eat has some nutrition to it, that my bed is facing the right direction, and that I get some fresh air and a little exercise.
I did formerly think everything was mental, but my diet was mostly junk and I smoked two packs a day. The behavior was crazy, but I wasn't, just unhealthy.
I tend to be like your SIL
I tend to be like your SIL and rarely call people. There is something in the back of my mind that thinks I'm bugging them and I can't get past that. It's weird, I know. It also comes from years of working in a business where I had to make small talk with people I don't know and having to answer constantly ringing phones.
Just because I completely get where she is POSSIBLY coming from, I would say to not take it to heart so much and keep on making the effort.
You know, I don't know, but I would tend to believe the other posters have hit
the nail on the head that it is a comfort zone and perhaps he cannot or will not be without a woman. He is not terribly outgoing, so I do suspect he has esteem issues of his own. In any case, I think I will follow the advice here and wait and see what life brings and not try to settle for less than.
You may be right, I tend to be very negative
So thanks for the honesty, I may just get that DVD.
Tend to agree with you
especially with the way we are being "kept alive" longer these days with more and more medical breakthroughs, medicines, proceduers, etc. It's not uncommon to live into your 80s and 90s any more.
On a slightly different note, I felt middle aged the first time a grocery clerk called me "ma'm". Oh boy did I feel old even though I'm only 48 
Sister! Except I tend to not even
start what I figure I won't finish, LOL. But sleep is one of my (only) 3 hobbies.
I just want to garden and walk my puppies and watch TV and sleep.
Is there any money in putting in gardens for other people when I don't even have a degree in horticulture? Sigh.
For the aircraft, I tend to wonder if (sm)
it was some sort of military craft they were testing and the bird I wonder if may have been an exotic pet someone had that escaped or was abandoned. Either way, it didn't belong where it was.
I tend to agree with you - sm
Also a huge, huge fan for years and then the story line seemed to get more and more ridiculous. I kept watching but would often flip through a magazine at the same time. I was going to quit watching last year, but when I heard it was the final season I figured I would see it through to the end. Yep, they should have ended it when it was still a great show. Glad they put it to bed at last!
I tend to agree
R's parents are not, to my knowledge, alcoholics. However, multiple family members on his mother's side are; those that don't admit to being alcoholics just consider themselves 'hard drinkin' good ol' boys. However, I think R's childhood created a 'perfect storm'. His parents, while not alcoholics, did used to like to drink with friends and many weekends would dump the 2 kids off with the maternal grandparents so they could go drink and carouse. Lesson learned: Booze and buddies are more important than family with a dash of feeling unloved.
Add to that the fact that alcohol helps numb the pain and lets you feel like you're a different person for a while. In addition, since literally everybody he spends time with drinks and 'smokes' as much as he does, he is accepted. After I had called the police, he was shocked because I would do such a thing. In his circle, it is accepted that you get drunk, sometimes you hit each other, and you just accept it because everyone knows you do stupid things drunk and it doesn't mean anything. I probably perpetuated that by not calling in the cops the very first time he laid hands upon me.
I'm not 100% sure I believe in the genetic risk. I tend to lean toward environmental. After his arrest, R went 2 months without drinking. There were several days in there where he would groan about really wanting a Budweiser, but he worked through those days. But then he started spending more and more time with his cousin, and then one day he didn't work through it anymore and twisted off the cap and has been drinking steadily again for the last month.
Although I'm not a big Dr. Phil fan, I heard a quote from him that went, "We generate the reality we think we deserve." I think psychotherapy would help R more than AA, so that he can get back to where he realizes that sober R is not unworthy of anything.
I know, I know, Us Pittsburghers tend to go just a
invite all you over for a party, though -- If you lived nearby you would be welcome.
Anyway -- Great game by two great teams.
And I am psyched!!!!!  I am calm now. A little bit.
Oh what the heck ---  GO PENGUINS!!!
The younger ones tend to have more 'stamina.' If the 2 of you get
ENJOY!
We do tend to remember the image
we had of ourselves from back when we all used to look in the mirror most often (that is, in our teens and early 20s). Men have an even stronger tendency for this than women. I remember Steve Martin being interviewed. He confessed that even though all the men in his family had had their hair turn white at early ages, he had not noticed it was happening to him until he saw himself in a movie.
People do tend to underestimate
the cost of having pets. Their intentions may be good, but it's an education problem. Where I live, if you don't have the dog on flea control and heartworm prevention, a dog just can't be healthy (well, I have heard some raw diet experts say their dogs can be kept free of fleas with their natural techniques, but they are highly educated on the subject). I've got a partial bag of dog food I can't use; wish you were in my area so I could donate it, but you didn't say.
Those places tend to be more expensive sm
Glad you found something that works for you, but that is not the case with everyone. QVC, Catherine's, etc, tend to be more expensive, which is okay for a special occasion outfit once in a great while, but I cannot afford to spend that kind of money on my everyday clothing. Also, if I can't try it on, I usually don't buy it. I have bought clothing from catalogs and feel for me that it is not worth the hassle. Things look one way on TV or in a picture that do not translate well on me. Even in a store, I have picked something up that I thought was really nice and hated it once I tried it on, as I am sure many women have. I am not defending wearing too-small clothes. I am only trying to come up with a reason for someone doing so. You wouldn't catch me dead out of the house in something too small.
wow that's SO true-we tend to the elder parent who....
at least some of us will make/made that choice - I certainly did.....well, the abusive one died many years prior to the nonabusive parent (the Lord does have one strange sense of humor I thought back then *lol*) and took care of the nonabusive parent for 10 years until their demise.
Children are forgiving, but if a parent NEVER says *I'm sorry* or *I was wrong* when, indeed, they are/were wrong, well I do not believe children/offspring forget.
just my 3 cents worth......
Men do tend to die younger, so it makes sense
to find a younger one. Mine is 4 years older, and he is aging faster because he hasn't taken care of himself. High school and college sports can take a heavy toll on a man.
I find they tend to be polite and reserved.
It makes me feel like the rest of us must seem loud, nosy and obnoxious to them, but then again I tend to be paranoid when people are too quiet, LOL.
Were there Herb gardens to tend to in jail? LOL. nm
x
well the word "hijacked" does tend to put one on the defensive
x
Guys tend to pack light, and
probably would be embarrassed by something you were calling a hope chest. Nothing wrong with having a bin with practical essentials for them to take with them, but if it goes beyond what they can see they'll need immediately when they venture out on their own, they might leave it behind. And if it is girly or can't take a beating or isn't flexible about going from DW to MW to oven, it's not going to get used IMO.
Also, I tend to look back at decisions I made and (sm)
question whether I made the right decision. I will blame myself for things...but then often when I look back and think through exactly how I came to the decision that I ended up with, I remember how things were at that time, and how I felt, and I know that if I was in the same situation again, I would make the same decision. I bet you would too. You don't seem like the type of person who would make a big decision like that lightly. I am in the process of making a decision about divorcing. I am a Christian and I think I have probably stayed way longer than I should have. However, I have been praying hard lately, and asking others to pray for me, and things have been miraculously lining up and I believe pointing toward divorce. I am not expecting a bed of roses, nor to be rid of my husband, but I am hoping and praying for some oasis of peace in between his visits.
Computer users tend to forget to blink.
When we don't blink, visual acuity decreases. Get some good wetting eye drops without preservatives and keep them at your desk. Two recommended brands are Systane by Alcon and Refresh Liquigel by Allergan (these are thicker).
These are recommended by my eye doctor who did my LASIK and are not cheap.
Try to get in a habit of blinking more.
Hope these tips help you.
They like heat. Will tend to find warm place to
xx
The news does tend to be bad, true. Put your head back in the sand then.
However, see if you can stomach this....2 yr old toddler disappears for a month as her mother appears to party like a 22 year old with no children by the camera's eye. When grandma finally realizes something is amiss upon discovering her daughters abandoned car with the smell of decomposing human tissue in the trunk, the 911 calls begin. Casey Anthony is a deeply disturbed young woman who by all appearances seems to have done away with her beautiful little girl by means of a shovel and gasoline. The truly unfortunate person here is the child, Caylee, whose mother is a monster.
Lab here with some issues.
We can't figure out what the problem is either. I give her a bath every other day with dog shampoo made from dry skin dogs and that seems to help her the rest of that day and part of the following one.
She must have some serious issues (sm)
Psychologists say that people who take pleasure in running other people down have no self-esteem, are usually unhappy with their lives, and it kind of lifts them up to run someone else down. Maybe we should feel sorry for her. Uh. Maybe tomorrow.
Not sure what his issues are
My son is not very honest. When I had him for my summer visitation this year, he talked about possibly wanting to stay here, but kept changing his mind constantly. Finally he said he wishes he could try living with me for a year and see if he liked it. I told him his dad would never go for that (the ex is now on an SSI disability and is also drawing SSI for my son - so his motives for keeping him there are very financial). My son admits one major thing holding him back is he likes his school and his friends and doesn't want to leave them. Its up to my son to decide when he's had enough and is ready to tell the judge he wants out of there and stick with it. I'm not pressuring him to make a change.
During our epic custody battle, the whole thing started because my son said "get me out of here" and started telling horror stories, which were mostly true, from what I saw firsthand. I made sure he got a CASA (his own court-appointed advocate) so his side would be told to an "impartial" third party. But my son was not honest. He changed his mind and stories constantly and protecting daddy suddenly became a big deal. He recanted everything he told me, my mother, and relatives on his dad's side (seeing his father and other adults naked, physical abuse, drugs/drinking going on, etc.) - either he said it never happened or his memory completely disappeared on issues where I had firsthand knowledge that it was true. When the golden moment came to advise the CASA what his wishes were, suddenly he was quite happy at dad's, and didn't really care which parent he lived with.
This is one reason I have to see something in writing from my son before I grab this hot potato again. I love him, but I cannot trust that he won't make me look like a fool and waste endless time and money to help him, when he does a 180 and wants no help when help arrives. He claims to be disgusted by his father's drug use, but refuses to get him in trouble, even when I assure him I begged the court repeatedly to drug test us both and see the truth and the court declined to touch that issue. He has pondered whether to play hardball with his dad and give an ultimatum that if he doesn't get off drugs he'll come live with me - this shows me at this time he still wants to be there or he would gladly walk away.
Other issues?
Most, if not all, of someone's "other psych issues" with their gender identity comes from society's attitude toward it. Once they have completely transitioned, most of those issues go away.
"Psych issues" usually include -
being forced into an uncomfortable gender by an accident of birth and told they can do nothing about it
being treated like a monster by family and friends who can't accept that they need to change
being treated like a pariah and a target by perfect strangers who think its OK to abuse them any way they please, up to and including murder
finding it nearly impossible to find romance, because few are open minded enough to deal with this personally, given a choice
very messy situations in the workforce while trying to transition - mainly caused by coworker's opinions and attitudes
people in general who refuse to see the person but only see the gender issue, and judge the person automatically without educating themselves on the condition at all
My son, who is in the process of becoming my daughter, passes so well as "female" that unless you knew what's in that person's pants, you'd never know she's "male". Once legally transitioned (with all the paperwork changed to reflect female gender), nobody that meets my daughter will see her as a freak. It is only people that knew her before, as a male, that will have problems with "her". So as long as those people continue to give her grief, yes, it will cause "psych issues", just as lifelong harrassment and judgmental ignorance against you would cause anyone some "psych issues".
You have several issues here sm
First, mortgages are no longer a wise investment. The general trend is towards home values going down, not up. You could well end up 10 years from now owing more than you can sell the house for. I have had this happen to me.
You have GOT to live within your means. If your wife is overspending, she needs help. Yes, overspending is a pathology!
Downsizing even further is probably your best solution, after your wife has addressed her issues with spending more than you have. Being house poor is a fool's journey into madness, especially because with gas prices continuing to rise, as food may be a real luxury soon.
I have downsized twice in the last 5 years, in part because my family grew up and left home, and the last time because it made economic sense. I live in an older trailer house, but it is lovely inside...warm and comfortable. Ashamed of it? NO WAY it is paid for IN FULL and MINE. It was a wise move. I am now able (and motivated) to save about 25% of my income after taxes, sometimes more and I am looking at ways to cut corners so I can save even more.
I am worried about a second Great Depression in this country, and I am not alone in my thinking. LIVE SMALL and get your wife on the same page.
Issues
Probably depends on state laws or any neighborhood covenant rules you might have. But if it is free to roam, I'm not sure if the law would see it as a pet. So then I wonder if there are laws about feeding deer. Is this one deer the only one in your neighborhood? Nobody keeps deer as pets here, but with a swamp and bits of wooded areas around, we see deer in the next neighborhood frequently. They only come into our yard and eat my hostas when there is a serious drought and their food supply diminishes.
Fencing has to be 10 feet high to control deer. Seems like the neighbors should be feeding the deer more food than they are if there is any hope of keeping it from devastating landscape plants.
Sorry for your issues...
Before I became an MT I used to work in nursing homes and assisted living. I had some elderly family as well.
I am sorry you are having this problem. Sometimes the person you are worried about does not have a grip on the reality of their situation.
My MIL lost my FIL about 9 months ago. A year before that she had her left leg amputated above the knee. Due to several issues, she is wheelchair bound and cannot do. When FIL died she was incapable of caring for herself, though she insisted that she could. It actually took her having an "incident" in order to convince her otherwise.
My grandma had to be put in a care center because she had issues similar to yours. My aunt was the one who took care of her and there was no way otherwise to do it. They tried everything, an aide to come in during the day, etc. This woman was so ticked off she didn't speak to my aunt for 2 months. She did eventually get over it.
What I think is that you need to get as many family members involved in this as you can. Make it very clear that you fear for her safety and wellbeing. If she is mad at you, let her be angry. It is not all at you. Some of it is the fact that she just cannot do things she used to do. They all go through it, kind of like a grieving period.
I have no other advice to offer you, but do stand your ground if you truly believe it is a safety issue. The guilt you feel right now is nothing compared to what you would feel if you backed down and the woman actually fell at your place and got hurt.
IMO I believe many men have issues because of their
xx
I think she has some serious issues....
--
Seriously, you have issues...
She did not make it sound like she could not get out of bed...
My son has similar issues right now...
My son has similar issues right now with very dry skin. Under his bottom lip area is very dry and chaffed. We have tried vasoline and other creams, but nothing is helping really good to the point that the dryness goes away. It is a very dry area, but it has not developed into an open sore of any kind...yet. The pediatrician said to just keep it moisterized and that it will go away soon, but it is just not going away. Any advice to this skin problem is greatly appreciated too! :)
Hubby obviously has issues
That the two of you can work on/out at a time that is much less stressful, so when situations occur, you're prepared.
If it had been me, at the moment he started screaming and yelling, I would have taken the kids and left the house. I would not have exposed my kids to all that anger, and making excuses for him doesn't make it all right. Yelling at you and the kids is abuse. If he wants to rant and rave by golly, he can do it by himself.
I would think only if there are other serious medical issues
related to the alcoholism. It probably has to be pretty severe. That's sad.
Does someone have virility issues!
Don't lie about it and let him know you are taking the pill for sure. Next he will be going to the doc to check his little swimmers and when he finds nothing wrong he will insist on you getting checked and then the truth will rear its ugly head. Sit down and talk about it. If you are both financially capable of carrying for children and providing for thier futures then there is more to discuss but he should be open to your feelings. I don't know your age or the ages of your children, but let him know that you might want to wait a while longer. Working at home, with children is enough but the barefoot and pregnant thing is just pushing it. Definitely do not do this if your relationship is rocky and he thinks another child will help. If he is just testing his virility tell him to grow a beard, it's a lot quicker and cheaper.
Does she have medical issues? sm
That may help in knowing where to look. Good luck to you!
p.s. as in landfill issues
plastic water bottles. Can you imagine how long those take to break down naturally? what about metal cans? We stopped buying bottled water and only buy sodas in aluminum cans so we can recycle them. I'm not trying to tell anybody not to buy canned air here, just realize there are alternatives to buying mass produced crap that's more expensive than a cheap (yet time consuming) solution :) I do something like that while I watch TV so i don't feel so nonproductive lol
Litter Box Issues
She is showing classic signs of a UTI. She should be checked out by a vet as urinary issues can be deadly in cats if not treated as soon as possible.
I live in the country and all my cats have always been indoor cats. One lived to the age of 21.
What is your reasoning for allowing her to roam outside? Is she UTD with vaccinations? (as in all her kitty vaccs, nothing more)
Wow...you know what? this is one of our more minor issues (sm)
More and more I am realizing I have to get out. I have been talking to an older friend recently who is telling me that I have never really even had a marriage. He has done the e-mail thing for a long time. He sends me a note that says, "Put this on your calendar". No questions asked. And oftentimes, I learn about his future plans through other people, who know before I do!
thyroid issues
Do you still have a lot of hypo and hyper symptoms? You could be under treated. Go have a look at http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/ if you haven't seen the site already. There's also a patient-to-patient forum at http://www.realthyroidhelp.com/. Things you might need to address are B12 and adrenals as these are key with converting the thyroid and getting it into your cells. Most hypo people have taxed out adrenals. Hopefully if you deal with that stuff, you'll see improvement in your hair.
Stepson issues
My stepson is 19 years old and has become a major problem for me. Here is some background. I met my husband when his child was 6 years old. The boy’s mother was an absolute nightmare and, long story short, he came to live with us when he was 9. His mother since has had nothing to do with him, except occasionally raising her ugly head to cause trouble for our family, but nothing as far as mothering him in any way, shape or form. A side note is that she has some serious mental and emotional issues. Once he came to live with us, I have mothered him and supported him throughout his years in elementary school, middle school and high school, doing everything for him as far as school and sports were concerned and we were very close up until he was about 15. Things really started to go downhill when he was about 16. He is, academically, very bright and was on the high honor roll every year from the 7th grade to about the 11th grade. That is when his grades and his attitude became horrible. He came very close to not even graduating from high school, but he pulled through and, by the skin of his teeth, managed to graduate. Outside the home, he seemed to be an angel, but at home he was very disrespectful and rude to both his father and myself and his little brother (11 years younger than himself). He became very snide and mean-spirited and if anyone dared to question his actions or attitude, he would throw a fit, start screaming and swearing at the top of his lungs. Some of the things he has said to me in the past were beyond disrespectful and well into hateful. His father never seemed to want to punish him in any way. (I think because he just did not want to deal with his outbursts.) Fast forward, after a miserable summer, he went off to college about 2-1/2 hours away. I was actually relieved and hoped that maybe some time on his own would make him rethink his attitude at home. Another issue is that he absolutely refuses to do anything close to resembling work to get money for himself, which is a big deal for me, because I think having a good work ethic is important. His father said that because his grades were good, he was not going to push the working issue. He came home after his first year with same crap attitude, had a miserable summer with him and he went back to school…. same old, same old. Now Christmas break is here and he is home. The first thing he does is fight with his father about working over break, which we made clear to him that it was an expectation. Suddenly, low and behold, he does not think he is going to be able to get hours life guarding. I started to feel a little better about things when he was able to get a couple shifts and at least he made some sort of effort. Last night, he was going to take his brother to a wrestling match, which I was glad and appreciated. It was my youngest son’s birthday present and he had been looking forward to going with his brother. We gave them 25.00 for parking and snacks and my youngest had 10.00 of his own money that he saved from his birthday to get whatever he wanted, program, etc. The event ended about 10:30 and they were on the road home (about a 15-minute drive). An hour later, I call the cell phone and ask where they are, answer was on the road. I explained to my stepson that his brother had school and I wanted him right home. 15 minutes later I call again and my stepson asks me if I am an F*ing retard and he said he was on the way home. I knew he was lying immediately. I asked to speak to my son, and he said no, so now I’m really mad. They finally get home and I ask my younger son where they went. He tells that they stopped at his grandmother’s to get something to eat because his brother would not let him get anything at wrestling, but please don’t tell his brother he told because he told him not to say anything to me. I asked if he got a souvenir with his money. The answer was no because his brother would not let him get anything. By this point, I am furious, but just get him ready to go to bed and hit the hay myself. Of course, if I said anything to my stepson, there would be screaming and swearing, and I hate when he behaves this way in front of my 8-year-old. This morning, I asked where my change was from the wrestling. Except for parking and 1 soda, there should be about 25.00 left. He tells me that he is keeping that money to put gas in his car and just refused to give it to me. I am so upset about this that my stomach is in knots. I truly dislike him and just wish he would go away. He has been nothing but a problem for the past 4 years and I am worn out and over it. My level of anxiety is through the roof. I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I am resentful of him and misery he causes our family. I just wish he would go back to school and stay there. I know that this is way too long, but I had to let this out.
Toofy issues
Hey PAMT -
Is it imperative that the tooth be pulled? A crown would work, but that would need to go over the existing tooth.
A Maryland bridge is probably not good for a front tooth as it is not translucent, has metal "wings" that attach to each tooth along side the empty space. It's usually reserved for side/back teeth.
Google Encore Bridge - but for that you need two healthy teeth on either side.
Don't hesitate to get more than just your dentist's opinion, but I'd stay away from the mall dentist/franchise ones.
My dad used to coach peewee football and would try out plays on me. When I was 7 he had me run for a pass from the living room to the kitchen. I ran in true receiver fashion, forward, head turned to look over left shoulder, hands out ready to catch, and I caught that ball like a pro - then dove on the kitchen floor chipping my front tooth in half on the diagonal. I now have a crown, and it's been great!
Good Luck!!
Does anyone else have SI pain or issues? sm
I think I have finally come to my own conclusion that my severe pain is from SI dysfunction/strain, etc. Does anyone have any solutions/suggestions to help this while still trying to sit and work all day? I have tried ice, heat, muscle relaxants, NSAIDs all to still have severe pain. 
Yes, I know what you mean about the doctrinal issues..sm
but, I just stayed focused on the actual principles of physiological hunger and eating half portions and filling the void with prayer and Bible reading, and I lost 35 pounds. Unfortunately over the last four years I lost my focus and got back in the rut of eating on a schedule and not according to hunger, and gained 20 back. But, I restarted this week as a matter of fact and I am going to get back on track.
We DO discuss men issues. Bob & his ED, the
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