As the mother of two young daughters
Posted By: sm on 2007-10-10
In Reply to: I need some advice from... - you ladies...sm
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs. No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding. It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons. I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship. She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this. I am so sorry!!
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A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm)
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!
Is that to me? I'm not that young. But my mother shares your point of view (sm)
I think it's an old school way of thinking that if you are not married you can be with whoever you want.
Thank God for daughters
My daughter came home and started going through scripture. This is what she came up with. It made me even sadder thinking about what a loss it is to lose a child.
Our dearest friends, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you." -1 James 5:7 We are truly sorry for the world's loss and your pain. We're here for you.
me: Appreciate the input to all who posted. I knew she'd do it for me, but wasn't sure if she'd be here in time.
This is so sad....
I have three daughters (sm)
My oldest daughter has a different father than my youngest two. This situation had nothing with a breach of faithfulness to my ex-husband or current husband. I've been entirely faithful in my marriages. My current husband raises her as his own and has since before she was 2. We have as close to a nuclear family as can be expected in this situation.
We cannot assume that because children have different biological fathers (or mothers) in one family that there was some wrongdoing. :)
Two daughters 14 and 4
1. What ages are your kids?
14 and 4
2. Do they have their own cell phone? No,we were planning on getting my daughter a prepaid cell phone for Christmas until we realized all she wanted it for was to text and talk to her friends even though we had told her it was just for emergencies. She uses her father's cell phone if she needs to be away from home where I don't have an exact time to pick her up and has to call for a ride. Too many of her friends have cell phones and run up $500 bills and their parents think nothing of it (that's why we were leaning towards a prepay) or have the most expensive cell phones on the market. We also thought that she'd use up in her minutes in weeks instead of months.
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: My four year doesn't have a TV yet, but my oldest does. She has her own laptop computer courtesy of her cousin, but it's right next to mine and she only can be on it for an hour a day. She's been grounded from it so many times for going over the hour, but she knows there are consequences for not following the rules.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
The four year old doesn't yet, although she helps me more than the 14 year old without asking. LOL. The 14 year old just gets $5 a week for doing her chores, more when I'm really busy and I need her to watch her younger sister.
my daughters are 5, 2, and 1 so they don't say anything
sometimes the 5 year old will aske me why I don't like granny or why granny doesn't talk to me.
To answere your question, no, not really.
Long story short, brother in law was in jail and wanted pics of our kids. we said no and told her not to send either. she sent them anyway and when my husband called to say something to her about it, he talked to his dad and he got all mad about us not wanting pics of our kids in jail. they did not call us, talk to us, see our kids for 6 months. Then want to pretend like nothing ever happened (with my husband) when they came for a b-day party in Nov. This was the first time we saw them and she gave me a complete attitude, did not speak to me, turned her back to me everytime I said anything.
anyone have cheerleader daughters? sm
my 15yo is trying out next week. she was cheerleader on little league squads, but hasn't been in jr. high and now trying out for varsity. they have to make up their own cheer. any ideas? i've been searching the net just for some ideas and everything is just the same ole, same ole. FYI, not trying to copy but just get some ideas to make the brain flow for me/her to try to put somethign together. she needs something different and unique to make her stand out since she is up against lots of cheerleaders that have been on the squad for years. something short, with a jump or two in it. HELP please!!!
my 19 and 21 year old daughters sm
wore a size 4 shoe since they were 12. It is hard for them to get grown up looking shoes. They are about 5 feet. They would love to have bigger feet. They take after my mother in law who was a size 4 her whole life.
puberty/daughters
There are many variations of menarche and the menstrual cycle that are considered "normal" from one female to another. For instance, my daughter, who is now 15, had her menarche at age 10; however, it was very light, brief, and definitely not from month-to-month. She developed early, is very tall (5ཆ"), and is of medium-to-slender build. She now has regular cycles, albeit on the "long" side, of approximately 36-40 days. She has played soccer and basketball.
They say that sometimes the daughter's OB/GYN history will follow that of the mother - but not always. I was on the track team in high school, was always very active with school, chorus, and band, but my body type was very thin and tiny. I weighed less than 95 pounds in my senior year. I am currently in my early 40s and weigh about 112 pounds (two pregnancies, with nine and ten-pound babies - no gestational diabetes) and am 5ƈ". I did not reach menarche until about the age of 15, but my cycles are short, about 26 days.
Just as with babies and potty training, for example, as long as there is no pain, sharp or otherwise, no passing large clots, fever, etc., I'm sure all will be well. It (puberty with fruition of regular menses) is "gearing up" in a sense. In fact, before my daughter's very first period, red blood cells were detected on a routine urine culture. The pediatrician knew right away that menarche was pending; sure enough, it happened within a couple of weeks.
btw, with your attitude, if you have daughters
I'd be willing to bet they would have an abortion behind your back rather than suffer your judgment by having a baby at a young age or out of wedlock. Would that feel good on your conscience? You could be missing out on the joy of grandbabies!
Thanks for this info. My 2 daughters and
I just bought a batch of 6 each. Thanks again.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
Two daughters go back next Wednesday
Two days after Labor Day. One starting 8th grade at a the Junior High and one starting preschool. I'm in NY.
Amen! My daughters and I do laugh
about this now. I went through this twice. The first daughter was not as bad as the second daughter. They were six years apart so I did get kind of a break. Believe, me this phase does pass.
Our two daughters "came out" a year or so ago...
and it wasn't really a shock. I had already suspected it when they were wearing rainbow stuff, even had a rainbow dental retainer, but my husband just didn't want to believe and stated that everyone likes rainbows and that didn't mean anything LOL. Our children were afraid of our reaction so that is why they delayed telling us. I wish they would have realized a long time ago that if they were purple, polka-dot or whatever they chose to be, we love them the same. One of them is still unsure of her sexuality so we just stay supportive while she finds her own identity etc. My husband's daughter who came out was afraid to tell her maternal grandparents, and when she did, she got the reaction she expected, total abandonment and was told to never discuss her life with them at all. That is very sad to me. We continue to support and love them and keep an open mind when we have met their "partners." I will admit at first I was sad because at some point you realize all the dreams you have for your child are gone as in getting married, having children etc.. but I soon realized that this can still happen, just not in the tradition way. Love is unconditional. That's my thought.
Good advice for your daughters.
Hi XXX: Read all your posts with Mom with girls. Basically I agree with most everything you say. I too took my daughter to Family Planning Clinic, where she was given BC pills. I told her the facts of life and warned her about consequences of getting pregnant or some diseases too. I left the decision up to her and the responsibility of taking the pills. She was 18 at that time and already graduated from high school, so legally an adult. She did become pregnant at 18 and went through pregnancy and gave birth, but not married. The father came along and helped with money to raise his child. They did have a stormy time of it, but now they are 31 and 30 with 3 more children. She was lucky because her husband is very responsible now, building contractor and very good father. he absolutely loves his children, so my daughter was very lucky. Of course we know that not all girls have a happy ending to their story.
All you can do as a mother is to support your children, give them guidance and proper moral standards that hopefully they will live by. I have really tried very hard to not be judgmental or to criticize when the problems came. I think that is probably the worse thing to do to your kids. After all we all make mistakes. Of course it is easier to give advice than the actual practicing of this advice. Whatever happens to your kids, try to stand by them and love them.
How will our daughters learn to stand up for themselves if we do not lead by example
I have always stood up for my daughter and have tried to teach her the same and now that she is getting older I can see that it is paying off. You go girl!!!!!
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
Two of my daughters have them on their lists. Found them at K-Mart for 29.99 nm
x
I named my daughters Katie Ann and Kelsey Nicole. sm
Our son is Kyle. I also like the name Kellen for a boy or a girl. Good luck!
Thank you! From a Mom who had 2 daughters, serving 3 separate tours in Iraq - twice over Christmas.
.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
My MIL named her twin daughters Mary and Mary.
No lie. And now you have a pretty good picture of the kind of mother-in-law stories I can tell. And I do have MIL stories!
Too young for both
"If an 18 year old isn't mature enough to handle a beer, I dare say he isn't prepared for what killing another person could do to him."
Which is exactly why the military wants them at 18 rather than 21.
2 is too young.
He'll let you know when he's ready.
2 is not too young.
Both of my boys were trained before they were 2. I attributed that to the fact that I only used disposable diapers when we were not at home. All over the world, babies are toilet trained before they are 2. Human beings can learn this basic control very early. This is a fact. In the U.S., disposables are part of our culture. And since their introduction and widespread acceptance, the age at which American children are toilet trained has gone up. Then "big kid" disposables were invented, and now it's not uncommon for kids ages 4 and 5 to still have toileting issues. Others have posted here that their children trained once the pull-ups were stopped. Most people don't like the feel of being wet or soiled. When that is part of the equation, children let you know that they are ready to train much earlier than ages 3, 4, and 5.
Still think it is too young.
God forbid we let our babies be babies.
If they are terrified of the potty chair, they are too young.
I had 1 myself, at a young age, but then we had no
BCPs and ?? I did not want a child born out of wedlock, never. Had children when married and if my daughter wanted an abortion, would have gotten 1. Oh, I do have g'children by the way.
when I was young
I had a dream 3 times of my father dying in a burning car crash - one time I was with him.in the dream . . I never told him or anyone.. but I did worry somewhat about it. . My dad died a few years ago in his 70s of lung cancer. . I wouldn't make too much of the dream. . .
Okay, first of all, that is way too young
Is your hubby overstressed at work or personally (finances, etc)? Is he involved in too many extracurricular activities (little league, soccer, basketball)? How long have you been without? When I first read your post, I just assumed you were older -- 40s/50s -- not too offend anyone in that age group, but just because I think some men get bored with the same *meat and potatoes* and/or may have physical problems, such as the poster below suggested with the testosterone.
At any rate, I'm pretty close to your age and if you're going more than a month without, I would suggest you start asking him why. I don't want to put any suggestions in your head (you probably already have some) as to why he may not be putting out, so I'll just suggest that you talk with him openly about it.
As for me and my hubby, the motto is the same: Put out or get out!!! (LOL of course)
is 27 young enough?
Thank you SOOOO Much for your answer, ive been obsessive compulsively checking hoping someone would give me something!
I have no husband, no kids, but two dogs... the farthest i've moved was six hours from my home town and I love where I live now, been here three years but it is time for a change. I'm curious, where have you settled? San Diego is nice... but I feel at this time in my life, like there is nothing like the warm Atlantic Ocean... I also might be having a mid-life mid-life crisis of sorts! LOL. Thanks again i appreciate your input more than you know!!!
You are young! You need to get out! How about ...
volunteering someplace? There are tons of places that would be happy to have help even for brief periods. You could help someone in need, make some friends. It's good to feel needed, and with all the places who really need volunteers, you ARE needed. You can help others, get out of your house, and feel good about yourself at the same time!
You are either very young or very new. Yes, I work both sm
holiday. There are 24 hours, and I manage to work and spend time with my family, and cook, and enjoy both holidays. Health care is 24/7 and if you are in the field, then you should expect to put in a few hours on a holiday.
No, you do not "deserve" to have them off, of you should find another field. You won't go far in this one refusing to do your part on major holiday. It is not really a big deal. Just put in a few hours, then go enjoy your holiday. Or, put in a few hours at the end of the day. That is the beauty of working at home.
My son is young and works....sm
He went to a lot of trouble to get me a necklace that was a heart, said mom on it and had little "fake" diamonds. He is young, loves to work and it took a lot to save his money to buy gifts for everybody himself. I offered to help but he refused. This is not a necklace I would have chosen myself but because it was carefully selected by somebody that loves me that is what makes it so special. While it might not be something I would "normally" wear. You can bet because of the love and thought that was put into it I will proudly wear it daily because it was carefully chosen for me. How do I know? I was with him shopping and he was about in tears because he wanted me to "go to a different spot" so he could make his special purchase without me watching. While it didnt cost hundreds of dollars, yet was not cheap for a young person to buy I will cherish it forever and most certainly wear it proudly right along with the "real diamond" jewlery that I do have. If you ask me it is just as beautiful as it was a gift from the heart.
I also don't care if they are young
and committing such a horrible crime on someone else who is more vulnerable.
The excuses run out eventually. If they give the excuse that THEY were molested as children then they absolutely KNOW that what they are doing to someone else is COMPLETELY wrong. No sympathy. Not one teeny tiny little bit.
I have a young daughter also...
And I didn't mean LITERALLY that young girls shouldn't vote, just that Sanjaya seemed to be popular with that population and I am tired of seeing him there. Of course the young girls have a right to vote too.
Just got done checking out the Vote for the Worst website and they are really proud of their campaign to keep Sanjaya in there. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, I just hope that all of this madness doesn't get one of the truly talented competitors cut.
But those young men volunteered for this
and agreed to do this as they do believe in it - that is what the tribute is all about
I'm no young girl...
I'm a lot older and I think Blake's adorable. To each is own. And by the way, he's as tall as my husband, who by the WA is no creep. LOL.
Isn't 11 a little young to be home alone??
And with a younger sibling you said? Wow...that's too young to be left alone all day. It is a recipe for disaster. It may be hard, but the advice about taking him in, so to speak, sounds like a good place to start. Though I wouldn't do it at the sacrifice of my kid's happiness and wellbeing...good luck....
Now maybe young girls won't look up to her as a
Young Frankenstein. nm
X
Hey, the Beatles were young once too ...
and those songs weren't too much for them. I agree that some of them are young and don't know the songs, but that's true of any theme they've done. At least they aren't having to choose songs that have been done by prior Idol contestants.
SPOILER WARNING:
I don't dislike Amanda Overmyer (rocker chick), but her skills are limited to one particular type of music, so I'm not sad she was voted off tonight. I don't care for Kristy Lee Cook, so she could have gone. I like Michael Johns, but his performances haven't hit the mark. I enjoy David Cook. He looks happy rather than cocky to me. He looks like he was doing what he was born to do. I can't believe Carly Smithson (tattoos, from Ireland I think) was in the bottom three. Ramiele is missing something but I'm not sure what. Chikezie is fantastic when the song is bluesy. I think Brooke White is good but a bit predictable. I enjoy Jason Castro very much.
Top talents IMO are:
David Archulata, David Cook, Carly Smithson.
I think Syesha Mercado gave an A performance this time also. She just isn't as reliable as my top 3 picks.
nah, just young the first two times. nm
Your kitty is still very young
so try instilling manners into her with positive reinforcement. It really does work. When on the counters or table, tell her no firmly while taking her off. Do this in the same manner every time you catch her. They do get the idea eventually. Try not to yell and get upset as they sense this and then they become focused on your yelling. My cat does not climb on counters and if he needs to throw up, he will go into the kitchen instead of whereever he is. My vet told me about this as I was at my wits end with him. It took a while and a lot of patience. They do calm down so much as they get older. I agree with the watergun. Good luck and hang in there!
he was 19 or 20 and sisters were 12 or 13, and 8 or 9, very young.
nm
Not young but people sometimes do not understand regarding this.
My elderly aunt is in her 80s. I am in early 60s. She has a much better memory than me and she has a close friend who is a scatterbrain like your friend. We are not forgetful because we want to be, it is something we cannot help. I have to write myself notes in order to remember very important things regarding business, etc. I hand my husband very, very important business related matters or else once in my hand they are probably lost. I have a file and put things there but then when I have to have, go looking and looking to find. I have a daughter totally organized and wish I were. Believe me when I am saying your friend does not try to do this.
You ladies sound really young as you
have no idea this is not something new on the scene. Back in the 40s ladies fainted with the swoon singers and like the post said above, if you did your research you will find not a new finding- bulemia and anorexia not an issue then and the ladies acted like that, had nothing to do with self-esteem- that is why our world is soooo mixed up today, everyone wants to put a diagnosis along with a part of a growing up process that is in the past, will continue now and after we are gone from here. As long as the stars and entertainers around, this is just part of what goes along with this type of rapture from these young girls. My girl loved Bon Jovi as did her little friends. I went to a Barry Manilow concert 2 years ago and the ladies swooned with him. Just goes with the territory.
I sure hope you are as young as you come off in this post - sm
Most men don't want to be babied, I am surprised he puts up with it. Do you hover over him, feed him, fetch his slippers, prop up his feet? Boy, as said below you do seem quite insecure. You think by taking care of him and his every whim that will make him love you more? Generally it has the opposite effect. You need to chill, take a step back. Yes it is nice to be affectionate to your husband, but if he is not like that back to you it is not the end of the world. Many guys show they care in other ways, like having a good job and being responsible, handing their paycheck to you every 2 weeks to take care of, taking you out to dinner now and then, changing the oil in your care, taking care of your car, fixing things around the house you ask them to do, picking something up at the store for you that you did not ask for (my DH picks me up the occasional bottle of wine for me, once a blue moon flowers). But if you want him to do something for, but at the same time seem to be spontaneous, give him a list of things you would love for him to do for you; bring home flowers, give you a back rub, play strip poker, whatever your fancy is, he won't know unless you tell him. Communicate! Grow up while you are at it too. As for the picking you up at school, quit begging him, either drive youself or find a different way home, he obviously does not want to pick you up if you have to grovel to get him to do it, you are just going to piss him off in the long run; unless this is a tact to get you not to go to school. If he is trying to stop you from attending and bettering yourself then I would continue to go, but again find a different way home if at all possible so you can show him you can stand on your own two feet. Independence can be empowering. You sound way to dependent on him for your emotional well-being. You are your own person, not an extension of him.
The family of this young man who committed this act should also be....
included in the thoughts and prayers along with those lost yesterday. Imagine the grief and sorrow they must be feeling. They too are the innocent in this.
Doesn't sound young to me. S/L nn w/a
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