Army does not always equal
Posted By: combat (sm) on 2007-08-30
In Reply to: My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th - Scared mom
Though I completely understand where you're coming from. Hear her out about the complete plan of what she wants to do. She could go as non-combat, right? Be proud of her for making such a mature decision.
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We are all equal. You are no better than anyone else, and no one else is any better than you.
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Equal treatment
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced as a girl until I was 12. My mother's reason was that I was too young to take care of them. Since boys mature slower than girls, I think 13 is perfectly reasonable. Also I don't know your son's interests but make sure he understands that some sports will require him to take it out to play.
IQ does not equal happiness
I've known other brilliant people who indulged in self-destruction. There have been studies that suggest the smarter you are the less happy you are, and there may be some truth in it.
The first reason for this would be people with attitudes like yours, abc. They hold smart people to the highest standards. They don't allow a genius to be human, but they do have weaknesses. Imagine spending your whole life hearing "If you're so smart how could you, why haven't you....". There is enormous pressure put upon them by others to do something great, to perform mental tricks for the amusement of others, to "prove how smart they are". Some become as insecure about it as beauty queens do about their looks - I remember when I was married to my genius, we watched a show about a child prodigy who could play great compositions at the age of 4. This show upset my ex, I could see it made him jealous and insecure, and nervous that he was not as great as everyone assumed him to be. Just like there's always someone richer, thinner, and better looking, there's always someone smarter too.
Another reason would be lonliness. The smarter you are, the less you have in common with the majority of the population. The things that interest you most people can't even understand. I think one purpose Mensa was created was so that they could find people to talk to on their own level. The pitfall there is most of them are so specialized in their own areas of interest they still don't have anything in common - the gifted musician does not want to discuss quantum theories with the scientist, they can understand it, they just aren't interested in it.
In my ex's case, his substance abuse has three factors - First, he's physically handicapped, and his health has always been a problem. He self medicates with substances to escape the misery of being in his body. Second, he's a classic nerd who never had any friends or a social life. He started abusing substances to try to be one of the cool partying folk, to fit in. All of his current friends abuse substances, but he at least has some friends now, that's how he sees it. Third, the pressure to perform has caused him to give up. He was a computer guru before computers were cool. Once computers were mainstreamed to the general populace, and new software was coming out on a daily basis, he could no longer know "it all". When he reached that crossroads, he panicked, gave up and dove into the bottle to hide from his insecurities.
A high IQ is often just as much a curse as a blessing. I am assuming the reason to abuse substance is pretty universal - the desire to escape reality for a while, then it becomes a habit. If a person doesn't have the courage to deal with reality and change their life, they may choose to destroy it instead.
I disagree, more expensive does not always equal better
quality. Especially when it comes to cosmetics.
Instead of buying expensive creams containing cucumber extract, just put a cucumber on your face! Works equally
and even better!
Well, any healthy relationship should be close to equal
My husband works FT and still helps out a lot around the house. I only work PT, so I usually do the cooking, helping our daughter with homework and most of the cleaning. My husband always cleans the kitchen after I cook (and vice versa) though and he cleans the bathrooms. We also alternate doing the laundry. So, I'd say everything evens out to be pretty close to 50/50 in our relationship. We are truly best friends and we treat each other as such, and I would never dream of "serving" my man - that's just a ridiculous statement! I even had that part taken out of our wedding vows! If it becomes a problem where you feel like you're being taken advantage of, then you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that he needs to pull his own weight or you won't be happy. Good luck!
I got it! Tell him 1 more kid will equal a lot more child support after the divorce : )
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To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
It won't be making any difference. I tried a couple of techniques for my adults and very soon I came to realize they found the antidotes for them. If there are 10 sites telling how to monitor your kids, there are 1000 more telling how to escape it. Down the road you will be pushing your kids to visit those sites (full of porn banners & adult materials) and nothing else.
As an equal partner in this marriage, why is it wrong for me to express my wants? (sm)
You seem to imply that because he wants to live here, I have to whether I like it or not. I have lived here for over 10 years. Why is it wrong for me to want what I want, but okay for him to impose his wants on me?
x-army here
She could take leave, usually they earn up to 30 days. she could take a hardship reassignment. She doesnt have to go with her baby sick like this. There are ways to get around that. Maybe she wants to go.
army
I don't know about the marines. I was in the army and given the circumstances, a soldier would have a say so. There ARE options in cases such as this one.
Army
I know about the Army also, as I worked on an Army base and their rules are much more lax. I also know that it depends on where you are stationed, who you work for, etc. etc. As I have said, IT IS ALL UP TO YOUR SUPERIORS! They have the option of denying your request, just because it looks like the sun isn't shining today, if they want to! And I have seen people get burned and turned down for things that most of us (people with feelings!) would seem a no-brainer! So no, it is NOT the soldier's option! They can request anything they like, doesn't mean it will automatically be approved!
When I was in the Army
I signed a contract stating I had arrangements for my children if I was deployed. The attitude was if the Army wanted me to have a baby they would issue me a baby. Rules have changed since Iraq. Mom should speak to the 1st Sgt and find out what options she has.
Salvation Army.......
If they go to just one agency, such as St. Vincent DE Paul or Salvation Army, sometimes they can refer them to other agencies that provide help. In the area I live in, the churches have funds available to help people pay utility bills and such. We also have a Catholic college that assists people with food, clothing and toys for the kids. There also is Catholic Social Services, not sure if they have them in FL or not. Hope that helps. Prayers to the family that they find the assistance they need.
Salvation Army, etc.
I give to Salvation Army every time I walk in a store. In fact, I quit shopping at Target years ago because they wouldn't let the Salvation Army bell ringers on their property (and also are into that so-called pro-choice" crap--well not for the unborn baby!) Anyway, I make a point to go where the good people who give back are ringing those bells. All growing up we gave to SA, too.
I know Catholic Charities is a biggie, too. My ma-in-law is big into that one.
Hopefully you've got some good ideas now. Good luck to you, my dear.
PS: This is what I prefer to see on these boards instead of the bickering and picking over silly stuff. This is what we should all be concentrating on--those who really need us to be "here" for them. This msg and the one from the lady who found out her husband has been cheating on her speaks volumes as to the kind of humans who are really behing these messages. We have a wonderful, caring group of people here!
Salvation Army?
I'm not certain on this so you may want to do a little more investigating but I think the Salvation Army is sponsored by or maybe just has a large volunteer population from the military. if i remember correctly they are the ones who do the Toys for Tots too.
Why the Army? She'd be much safer in Navy
My husband just completed his tour of duty in May with the Navy and never went anywhere near Iraq. The only places he went where Key West, Guam, Hawaii, and Nevada. My sister was also in the Navy and got out almost 2 years ago. She never went to the Middle East or anywhere dangerous either. I know the Navy has been overstaffed recently though, but they can always use people in healthcare and may let her join that way.
Salvation Army, Goodwill, Habitat for Humanity
All have trucks that will pick up household items, at least in our area. They should be listed in the phone book. You can call them and see when they will be in your area.
Have you tried your local Salvation Army, United Way, or places like that? sm
The town where I live has a place called Mell Trotter Ministries. You can donate your vehicles and then the people to live and work at Mel Trotter fix up the cars and are learining a trade at the same time. They then sell the cars to the public. The money they make on the cars goes back into the organization.
Also our United Way has something called 2-1-1. You just call 211 and tell the person you talk to what you are looking for or need and they can steer you in the right direction.
Good luck to the family you are trying to help.
Good place to shop is Salvation Army Superstore. sm
Don't dump on me please. The store gets extra clothes from big department stores. It's better if you're a small size, but they have stuff for larger sizes too.
I got INC Incorporated embroidered tunic and Eileen Fisher sweater for $10 each, plus 2 pairs of "work" pants at $4 each.
My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th
Before the Iraq war, I would have been more excited that she wanted to do something positive with her life for a change, but this thought is scary as we know people that have lost their children in the war. I know in some ways this could turn her life around and be what she needs as she is very immature and is going down the wrong road, but are there other alternatives. A lot of people tell us it's still a good time for kids. Any thoughts out there?
Burn Notice, Army Wives, Closer, Saving Grace
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