Are you Catholic, by chance? :)
Posted By: nm on 2007-09-04
In Reply to: Guilty all the time - why?? (sm) - Guilty
nm
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Cradle Catholic, now Christmas Catholic here
I believe the bit about not being able to get married in the Catholic church after being married in another church may be church (or that particular sect) specific. If a couple is not married in a Catholic church and gets married, they are viewed as "living in sin". To my knowledge, it doesn't marry who married them (outside the church), they were still living in sin. And the Catholic church is more than happy to rectify that by performing their own ceremony (for a fee, of course).
On the plus side, if they get married in a church outside the Catholic one, the Catholic church does not recognize it as a true marriage, thereby freeing up both parties to ultimately get married at some time in the future in the Catholic church, after being properly repentant for their unsanctioned fornication.
I am not Catholic and maybe this is how it is in all Catholic churches, but I have to ask!
My daughter is engaged to a very nice young man who is Catholic or should I say his family is Catholic and he refuses to break ranks. He has insisted they get married in his grandmother's (and his) church. Okay, fine. I'm fine with that. My daughter is fine with that. She started taking the conversion classes, but really isn't that interested in converting. She was making the gesture for her fiance. Fiance' says she doesn't have to convert and that she doesn't have to convert in order for them to be married in the church.
After they had been engaged for four months (they dated for a year before they got engaged), they called the priest at the grandmother's church to meet with him about setting a date and getting married. First meeting, they drive into the city to meet the priest at the time he told them and the priest never shows up! He later apologizes, but never offers an explanation for standing them up. The second time they set up a meeting, the priest shows up. He proceeds to tell them that before he can "allow" them to be married, he must first talk to family and friends to be sure they are not living together and also he has to give serious thought because my daughter is not Catholic and he has worries that the children they will not be raised in the church. He then proceeds to tell my daughter that she needs to wear a skirt or dress the next time she meets with him (she had on dress slacks and a blouse)! He also wants to look at the wedding dress and the bride's maid dresses to be sure they are appropriate and that women should not show bare shoulders in the church, which basically means we have to have little covers/jackets made for each bride's made and now for the bride.
So my daughter tells me all of this and I'm irritated. I decide that if this priest calls me, I'm going to give him what for. In my mind, this is all a bit ridiculous. Even if my daughter and fiance are living together (which they are) they are trying to rectify that by getting married. My daughter begs me not to be rude and yet asks me to lie to the priest about them living together. My daughter tells me that my son-in-law to be was raised to believe it is a sin to get married outside the Catholic church. I wasn't aware that the Catholics still believed this. But my daughter is adamant that she wants to do this one thing for her groom because the rest of the wedding is about her. So okay, I stifle it. I used to be young and in love and ready to do anything for my betrothed.
Next meeting with the priest, the priest is satisfied that they do not live together. Thank goodness he never called me, so I was not forced to lie or be polite. At the next meeting, however, he decides he's not going to give them an answer on whether or not they can be married unless my daughter memorizes the 10 commandments in order and also some sort of freaking prayer. So my daughter calls me, clearly upset, but willing to do this one last thing. I am outside my mind with outrage! Still, it's my daughter's decision to participate in this dog and pony show.
Tonight, my daughter has a meeting with the priest, performs her little assignment, and presents her wedding dress for inspection. The priest then says he's not going to marry them and wants them to wait a year, wants my daughter to officially convert, and then meet with him for pre-marriage counseling and start the whole show over again.
Now I'm furious and I am about ready to call this priest up and tell him what I think of him, his church, and all this crap he is espousing. Who does he think he is?!?!?!?! I am a Christian. I attend an Assembly of God church and I do not believe for one minute that someone should perform tricks and jump through hoops just to get freaking married. Yes, pre-marital counseling is probably a good thing, but other than that.
In my opinion, this priest is on some sort of power trip and is extremely self-righteous and pompous! I also did my own investigating on this guy and found out that this same priest was asked to come to the hospital to give last rites to a dying Catholic woman whose own priest was out of town. This priest said he would only come and administer the last rites if the daughter making the request would make a substantial donation to his parrish! What kind of crap is that!!!?!?!!?
What kind of man is the priest? Is this indicative of the entire religion of catholicism? I hate to be rude, but they have priests molesting children and dabbling in homosexuality and yet this pompous ass of a priest treats my daughter as if she is not good enough to get married in his church!
Sorry this is so long, but I am just so mad!
I am lapsed Catholic married to another lapsed Catholic.....sm
DH and I were cradle Catholics and were lapsed Catholics when we got married 15 years ago. We got married by a Presbyterian minister in a non-denominational chapel during a civil war re-enactment. When I got pregnant, I got to wondering about the whole baby and baptism thing. You Catholics will know what I mean...original sin, purgatory, limbo, etc.
Long story short...We got our son baptized at 3 months of age by our regular parish priest. We had to go through a class (maybe 4 weeks long or so) and agree to bring him up as a Catholic. While we were getting him baptized, we also had the priest bless our marriage. We are still pretty lax about attending church, but our son has gone through his First Communion, is working towards his Confirmation, and the church now recognizes our civil ceremony.
I agree with the other posters....go over his head if you have to. I doubt all those hoops are necessary.
There many Catholic options
If you want something prepackaged:
www.setonhome.org (regionally accredited.)
www.kolbe.org
www.chcweb.com
www.olvs.org (They are traditional.)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cathswap/
Cathswap is a yahoo group for buying used Catholic curriculum.
Question from a non-Catholic
I heard someone say recently that when she goes to confession, she has to face the priest directly, as opposed to talking through a screen and not seeing him face-to-face. She said it's much harder doing it that way, so she began going to confession in a non-local church. I didn't get a chance to ask why it's done that way now.
Anyone know?
Catholic traditions
http://www.jesus-is-lord.com/oraltrad.htm
What does it being a Catholic hospital have to
everywhere. The place I used to work for, they were atheists and it was like working in hel* every day.
Since the Catholic Church
is still firmly entrenched in the Dark Ages, it is no surprise. That poor child, but BRAVO to her parents.
As a catholic, they did not "Get rid" of that option.
There are 2 seperate ways you can "enter" a confessional - 1 is behind screen, the other is face to face.
Granted some churches don't give you the choice anymore, why I don't know, but they are not supposed to do that.
Not just Catholic, protestants have confession
When Luther broke away from the Catholic church in the Reformation (the beginning of now-known "protestant or noncatholic" denominations), he did not do away at all with the confessional. Churches, even other than Catholic, and especially Lutheran still have the confessional. Most modern-day Lutheran churches, however have counseling with the Pastor. Same thing as confessional. Counseling or confession are both private and under the same guidelines as confidentiality except where crimes are admitted. The modern day confessional for nonreligious people would be the therapist's office.
From a practicine and devout Catholic...
The sacrament of confession may take place either face-to-face with a priest confessor or through the more traditional screen in a confessional. The face-to-face method is considered more modern, but in ancient times this was the practice. In fact, public confessions in front of the entire church community were done. Today, both are acceptable ways. Some people prefer to sit and talk to their confessors, others like the anonymity of the screen. It's a preference. Catholic churches built more recently, say from the late 1970s on sometimes do not have confessionals. That was part of the post-Vatican II construction, and a lot of the traditional architectural structures were abandoned. Within the past 10, maybe even 5 years, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops has spoken on this topic, and is encouraging newly constructed Catholic churches to include some of the more traditional architectural features to be included, such as kneeling rails before the altar, side altars, confessionals, etc.
So the answer to your question is that confession can be done either face-to-face or behind a screen. It's a matter of personal preference, and is sometimes influenced by the availability of confessionals in recently constructed churches. In any case, Catholics are not required to go to confession in their home parishes. They may take part in the sacrament of reconciliation with any Catholic priest and at other Catholic churches. Your friend is doing nothing wrong, and no matter where she goes to confession she is receiving God's grace and spiritual direction.
I know this topic comes up from time to time, and debate about whether or not confession "to a man" is necessary for salvation. I will not join in that debate. Arguments about the Catholic Church arise because of a lack of understanding about what the Church actually believes. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, "Few hate the Catholic Church, but millions hate what they mistakenly think is the Catholic Church."
There is a wonderful website which includes a podcast network of great programming on what the Catholic Church believes. One in particular, "The Daily Breakfast", usually includes a segment called "The Peculiar Bunch", which answers all sorts of questions that non-Catholics have about the things that Catholics do. If anyone is interested, they can visit SQPN.com
It's true, a lot of what we Catholics do seems very peculiar! I admit it! But there are reasons why we do these things. Whether or not other people agree with those reasons is another matter altogether. We are all brothers and sisters created by God. Our human dignity is paramount, and stems from being God's very own creations. Therefore, even through disagreements, we should be respectful. I personally think that learning about why different faiths believe what they do is one way that we can show respect for each other and for the human dignity imbued in us by God.
From a cradle, practicing Catholic.
I've been a Catholic all my life, received the sacraments, married in the Church to a fellow cradle Catholic, sent our children to Catholic school, and attend Mass every week.
I'm steamed at your DD's situation, too!
My guess is that this is an older priest, and he has issues. Contact his bishop in his diocese and get the REAL information about Catholic marriage.
Yes, when a non-Catholic marries a Catholic, the non-Catholic must agree that children will be raised in the Church. As part of the rite of matrimony, on the day of the wedding, they will be asked three things before they say their vows. They will be asked if they have come freely without reservation to be joined in marriage. Will they love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of their lives? And finally, they will be asked if they will accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church.
That pretty much covers the bases. Remembering that the Catholic Church does not allow divorce, the first two points cover that. Neither party to the marriage must have been married previously. Annulments versus divorce are another topic, and that does not apply to your DD, so I'll skip that discussion. But the couple to be married must understand fully that they are entering into a sacramental marriage for the rest of their lives until parted by death.
Accepting children from God and raising them in the Church is the last part. We could discuss the topic of birth control, but on that point, I'm not the one to argue. I'm a good Catholic except on that point, and one day I suppose I'll learn if I really was a sinner for using b.c. or not. Anyway, that's another topic.
Regarding the wedding dress, it is true that good taste requires that shoulders be covered in a Catholic church. It's not a hard and fast rule, and it's almost impossible these days to find a dress with sleeves anyway. Twenty-five years ago when I was married, we all had big, puffy sleeves and big hair. Strapless is today's fashion, and those come and go. I would probably deal with that by adding a shrug to wear in church and then remove for the reception. Still, it's not a hard and fast rule, and the priest is just being a stickler about tradition. I've been to many Catholic weddings recently where the brides wore strapless dresses. The old people in the church murmur and disapprove over it, but it doesn't affect the marriage.
To summarize my long response, please have your DD and son-in-law consult with the diocese. Don't just shop for another priest. Go right to the priest's boss, the bishop. Your DD should not have to jump through hoops. In fact, these silly hoops are the sorts of things that push people away from not only the Catholic faith, but from all churches. I'm sure we've all heard people tell stories about how some priest, minister, nun, or church lady did something to upset someone, and so now so-and-so won't step foot in a church again. That's the real sin!
But also remember, that for Catholics, marriage is a sacrament. It's not just a ceremony. We believe in 7 sacraments, all instituted by Christ. It's a serious matter. Because the Church and the community of the faithful see it that way and believe marriage to be a lifetime commitment, there is a definite way for the sacrament to be received. Encourage your DD and future son-in-law to learn more about it, but to learn from good sources, including diocesan officials. I would also suggest they get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or the more simply written book, This Is Our Faith by Michael Francis Pennock. If they arm themselves with true facts, then perhaps this resistant priest will be made to do the right thing.
I know the catholic religion has guidelines
that my religion, Methodist, don't have as I have relatives that have converted so they can get married. I think in my cousin's case, he did not want to jump through all those hoops and was thinking about getting married by a methodist preacher. That priest told them that if they do that, but then his wife-to-be would loose her place in the church, meaning she could still go but she could not, participate in ceremonies, make decisions for the church etc., because she would not be considered married and living in sin.
Anyway, I think your dd and future SIL should get a 2nd opinion from another priest. But, you should remember too that this is their battle. If they are big enough to get married, they are big enough to fight their own battles. If they truly want to be married than they will and this is pretty much small potatoes.
Transgender Boy Barred From Catholic School
Transgender Boy Barred From Catholic School
Parents Of 8-Year-Old Allow 'Him' To Live As 'Her'
Posted: 10:58 am EDT May 18, 2009
Updated: 11:50 am EDT May 18, 2009
OMAHA, Neb. -- An Omaha couple is allowing their 8-year-old son to openly live life as a girl. It’s a decision that means the child is no longer able to attend Catholic school.
Therapists and the child’s parents say the second grade student is transgender, a medical condition where a person’s inner sense of identity doesn’t match their biological gender. Some gender experts say as many as one in 500 people may be transgender or carry significant traits of the opposite sex.
"It’s kind of like you’re trapped somewhere and you can’t get out," said the boy, whose name and face are not being made public to protect the family from potential harm.
"She’s been a girl since the beginning, everything about her, the way she dances and skips around and the things she’s attracted to. It’s more than toys and clothes," said the child’s mother.
The mother said the child has consistently asked to be called a girl since she was 4 years old.
"One night, she said, 'Every night when I go to bed, I pray my inside will match my outside. But it never happens,'" the mother said, recalling the words of her middle child.
The child’s artwork is filled with crayon-colored images of princesses and mermaids. Her family has allowed the child to wear dresses and female clothing in their west Omaha home, but until recently, she had to change into boy clothes for her brother’s baseball games, church or any outing outside the house.
"Now I can wear nail polish, get rid of all my boy clothes and not worry about that name," the child said.
The child’s case recently came to light when her parents met with a leader of the Omaha Catholic Archdiocese to talk about transitioning the student into third grade at her school, St. Wenceslaus.
The family wanted the child to use a new female name, be able to wear a girl’s uniform and be included in girl’s activities.
The mother, a life-long Catholic, thought making the transition in their parish would be the best place for their child to continue friendships, with a support system that included other parents and children.
"The child is welcomed to come, but it would not be acceptable to change the child’s gender and present as a girl," said Omaha Archdiocese's Chancellor, the Rev. Joseph Taphorn.
Taphorn said having the child attend the school for three years as a boy, and then presenting as a girl would not be a good learning environment for the child or other students. He said school has to be a peaceful, positive environment for everyone.
The child will attend a public school in the fall, using her chosen name and wearing a ponytail in her hair.
"It was not a decision that was made rashly at all. It was a decision to protect her psyche and her self-esteem," the mother said.
Therapists agree that forcing a person to live in a social role outside their perceived gender is damaging.
Omaha mental health therapist Ellie Hites said she’s worked with more than 200 transgendered clients in Omaha over the past 35 years.
Hites said she does psychological evaluations on all of her clients.
"One hundred percent of the time, I’ve never had anybody show up anything other than healthiest in the chosen gender role, as opposed to biological," Hites said.
She said her adult transgender clients have lived through nervous breakdowns, suicide attempts and deep depression because they could never truly be themselves. She has four transgendered clients right now.
"The story that I get is that 'I've known since I was real little, but everybody laughed or nobody paid any attention,'" Hites said.
The therapist said transgendered children insist they are the opposite sex, consistently.
"It’s like they arrive here with one biology but the mental set is counter to that," Hites said.
The 8-year-old’s favorite color is aqua. Her favorite toy: American Girl Dolls. And right now she’s reading a Junie B. Jones book that made her giggle when she talked about the plot.
Pink and aqua barrettes held her shoulder-length layered hair out of her face, while she drew chalk pictures of clouds on the pavement.
When her mother announced that the child would be allowed to pierce her ears next week, the girl screeched and had a huge smile on her face.
"You’ve waited long enough to live as a girl," the mother said.
The mother is on a mission to educate the community and encourage churches to open a dialog about diversity and acceptance of all people.
She recently waged an e-mail campaign to urge her church members to place an empty envelope in the collection basket on Mother’s Day weekend. She said she wanted to send a message to the church that church members can have a voice and that they shouldn’t just blindly follow the flock.
"Just take the time to listen. It is different. It’s something most people have never heard of, but it doesn’t make it scary or pathological," she said.
hold up...are you sure this is a Roman Catholic Church?...
First, let me state I have utmost respect for my faith and priests but they cannot force your daughter to convert...it is against the Roman Catholic faith to do so (prosyletizing). Also, in regard to all the other issues that you mentioned, any so-called "sinful activities" that may or may not have gone prior to marriage, these are reserved only for the confessional and not for the premarital screening process. The priest has no right to ask for "penitence" or to know their secrets. I think you may be onto something; my suggestion is to contact the archdiocese this priest lives in and calmly state your case without passion; he may have had other complaints against him. A wedding day should be a sacred occasion filled with joy and i hope you can resolve this issue.
I always thought it was. I'm Jewish and ex-husband Catholic. I've even
xx
I used to love spelling bees too. However, I went to a Catholic school and......
they were required, just like learning the catechism. LOL. I have a TON of holy cards from my grade school years. But I'll be darned if I can remember the word I won my last bee with in 8th grade.
I told my son's 6th grade teacher that I was concerned about the fact that they didn't study spelling, or grammar, the old fashioned kind of subject, verb, and object grammer. Those of you who are in your 50's and plus will know EXACTLY what I am talking about. But that is a subject for a whole other discussion.
My sister (lapsed Catholic) and brother-in-law (Jewish)
don't seem to have had any problems -- they celebrate Xmas/Hannukah and Easter/Passover with the kids; if anything, it's my sister who's the more proactive one in making sure they celebrate Jewish holidays. This has led to such amusing moments as the one at their seder earlier this year, in which sis asked BIL a question about something in the Haggadah, and he said, "honey, how would I know? You're the good Jew in the family."
No problems with parents on either side -- heck, I think I always disappointed my parents by failing to marry a nice Jewish boy like my sister did, and my BIL's parents are actually an interfaith couple themselves.
This may be your last chance, your only chance...
This may be the only chance--it may be the last chance for you to save your son.
My son started in with smoking pot and drinking alcohol at about the same age. I, unfortunately, was too soft, was a push over, and I, too, didn't want to go overboard. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret my decision.
Every time I hear the wail of a siren in the distance and it is coming toward this part of time, I cringe, and I wonder if they've come for my son. Every time I get a knock on the front door, the thought goes through my head that it may be "the knock," associated with the police coming to tell me my son is dead.
My son is 28 years old now, and he is not only an alcoholic (and a nasty, obnoxious drunk at that), he is addicted to meth. He will take anything just to get "high." He stole the phenobarbital that I give to my dog to control his epileptic fits. He drank 2 whole bottles of cough syrup with DMX just to get high and hallucinate. It doesn't matter what the drug is, he'll take it. His primary jones is with meth. I saw my son the other day for the first time in about a year, walking down the street. If he hadn't had the particular one-of-a-kind jacket on, I would not have recognized him. He looks like a walking corpse. His face has morphed, looking like the faces of meth you can google. He's 28, but he looks older than I am (55). He was, at one time, brilliant, with an IQ in the 160s. Now, he is what I'd describe as dull-witted, unable to reason his way out of a paper bag. Even his voice has changed. He walks the fine line between severe psychotic episodes and sanity--and he is toppling toward permanent psychotic behavior more and more. In short, my son is dying, and he lives every day to get more and more of the poison that is killing him.
Don't go into doormat mode. Tell your husband. Get mad. Do what ever you have to do--including having your son committed to a rehab facility against his will until he is of legal age. If you stay in doormat mode, you enable your son's habit--and it is a habit...one so well established that he thinks nothing of posting pictures of the crimes (and they are crimes, and YOU are responsible for what goes on in your home) on the Internet.
If you don't act aggressively and act NOW, you will be responsible for its outcome. My son is dying because of my inability to act.
Do whatever you need to do, including taking him to the police department--anything and everything. Once he tries meth, he'll be a goner.
I'll be saying some prayers for you and your family.
If you think I'm "too harsh" and don't do something, any refusal or inability to act right now may very well end up killing your son. I, unfortunately, am speaking from experience.
Is there a chance
he (and mother) might have mental issues? If this goes beyond family it seems as though he is missing something. I'm not saying it is an excuse but it could explain some of his actions. I always strive to understand where things are coming from. The explaination does not always change the outcome but sometimes it helps make a difficult decision a little easier to live with.
One (there are a few) of my family members I spoke of was my uncle. The time I finally decided not to put any effort to talking to him was when he told me flat out that I was a screw up because I went to college for 3 years and decided to stop going because I found a great job and wanted to settle down with my now husband, who was divorced and with a child of his own. This was shortly after I was married that I spoke to him and he basically told me what a mistake I had made. Well, here I am 10 years later and my life is very happy and fulfilled. I later found out that he's an alcoholic. I still would have made my decision but its much easier knowing that I wouldn't have exposed my children to his alcoholism anyway. I also don't feel that is something you can help someone with. They have to want the help themselves.
By any chance....
Did they do an I&D on the cyst? I actually went through the I&D for a pilonidal cyst years ago. I didn't know what it was, but my temperature was over 103 degrees and I just felt "weird" all over (the raging infection, I'm sure, wreaking havoc on my body).
Because it was "traveling" up my spine, the ER doc did an I&D, and that REALLY screwed me up. I felt most of the symptoms your SIL is describing. I don't know if it was a delayed shock reaction because when I went to the ER, I wasn't planning on the procedure, or if it was just an odd result of all of those toxins getting out of my system. I remember my dad being so worried about my condition that he dragged my mattress out into the living room so he could keep an eye on me, so I must have been pretty bad.
If she has a high fever with the pilonidal, or if she underwent I&D, I'd give her about 12-24 hours to recover; however, if the symptoms persist, I'd take her to her PCP or back to the ER.
Better safe than sorry, that's for sure.
Hope she feels better :-).
Is there any chance
I don't want to seem rude, but...
The fact that she misled you about the money and it's for her, not her husband...
The obvious desperation for $300...
The completely irrational behavior that defies logic...
Forgive me if I'm way off base, but could she have a drug habit and be desperate?
I certainly don't mean to insult your friend, so please don't take it that way. Lots of white collar people have prescription and other drug problems, no shame in it these days.
It's just that when people suddenly act extremely out of character and so very desperate for money that she wasn't honest about...well, stranger things have happened.
Again, sorry, and definitely NO offense intended if I'm way off base here.
Any chance
He's on probation? I've known people on probation who refuse to use their own address because they'd prefer to avoid having the authorities drop in unannounced to pay a visit on them.
Is he by any chance a deadbeat dad or in some other legal dispute where someone might be wanting to serve him papers?
I'd get the answer to these questions (and more) before agreeing to let someone use my address. I'd also suggest he retain a P.O. box if for some obscure reason he does not want to use his physical address for things.
Any chance a mouse is somehow
caught in the fan? Although when this happened to my mother's, it caused it to quit running and she had to call a repairman. On discovering the problem, she heard him muttering to himself, "Why me? Why me?"
Are you jewish, by chance? :)
x
**PICTURE of ER-MTs dog Chance**
I want his life!
Just got a chance to pass thru - let me
know how your appointment goes. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to go to sleep on my side or I get ill. I am rather large in the upper department also - would love it if insurance would pay for a reduction. I haven't ever mentioned it to my doctor either - mainly because for each test that they decide they will run, I see another bill I would have to pay.
When you get a chance, google the
Alday family in Georgia, rural, mostly farming family, all killed in the 60s by intruders- I think there were about 5-7 family members they killed that day plus raping the woman before slaying her also. Sometimes people have false sense of security.
there's a good chance
that boy & girl are seeing each other as they used to be, not as they now are, & through the additionally warmifying haze of longing & regret. I went through something similar but neither of us was married at the time we got back in touch 20 years later (I was divorced, he had never married). By the time we met up again, 20 years' worth of unspent passion had reached such a pitch that it was like being on a drug. We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of years but were not physically intimate this time around. Now here's the kicker: Not only did the feelings eventually pass, I now realize he is one of the most annoying individuals I know. Maybe he was always that annoying; I'm not even sure. At any rate, I think if we had become intimate this time, my conclusion would have been the same, except that sex would have made things completely icky. Now we have casual contact. We live in different cities. We talk every few months if that, & it's okay. It's nice to still be in touch, even if it's only to honor the past. I consider myself lucky that I was able to work all this out outside of another relationship and that no one was hurt.
It's useless to speculate on what we would have been to each other if we'd stayed together & been a couple all those years, how we might have ended up as people. Maybe I wouldn't find him as annoying, or maybe I'd be in prison for having murdered him at some point, who knows. The point is, we weren't together all those years, we went off & became adults & lived most of our lives away from each other & became who we became, & there's no changing any of that.
The moment when I realized that he was not now who he used to be 20 years ago was very difficult. A collision of past & present. I felt a lot of grief over the loss of him, loss of the feelings, loss of youth. It would have been easy to mistake all these feelings for romantic love. I'm not saying any of this is the case for the story in question, I'm just saying Girl should be sure before she unloads a good man. The process of coming to terms with the past may cost her dearly.
Its a no..turned down...not a chance
I had my meeting yesterday afternoon with my lawyer. Although I am clearly disabled I fall threw the disability loop holes. There are 2 types you can sign up for. The first you must have worked 10 years consecutively. I worked when I was first married and then when we had kids I stayed home with them until they started school and then went back to work as a substitute teacher. I had worked 9 years consecutively and had a stroke so I am disqualified there.
The 2nd one you have to have not worked or be low income. Low income meaning a little over $900.00 a month for dh and I. Kiddos don't qualify as dependants since they are over 18 or the income level would be higher. We are low income but not that low for the 2 of us. The only thing you can own is your home and one vehicle. We own our home and 3...the old truck we are trying to sale that might bring $500.00., the truck dh bought for $1000.00 and the car he inherited from his sis. Dh also inherited some land and some money from his sis. AND THEN there is the fact that dh and his sis had to put their dad's money in their names so they can pay for his care, power of attorney and all that, and although the money goes for ONLY his care and we use none of it it goes against my case.
So although I am disabled, in pain every single day of my life, I don't qualify for disability. Our income doesn't qualify us for Medicaid. Our income doesn't afford us insurance IF we could find someone that would cover me with all my health issues. I'm tired, defeated, exhausted, cried until I can't cry. I don't know how many knocks I can take.
I don't begrudge anyone health care...but how is it fair that I can't get it and its handed over to those that have never paid a dime in taxes? How is it fair that a convicted child molester will get his disability? (yes I know someone that is and will get his). I just don't get it. There needs to be decent affordable healthcare in this country for EVERY citizen. I'm not talking Socialized medicine. I'm talking decent affordable healthcare.
It should not cost $4000.00 for an ER visit and $500.00 for the doctor. Yes again that happened to me last summer. I would never have gone if I had not been doubled over in severe pain and my regular doctor sent me there. I left the ER with a huge bill, a prescription I could not afford to fill, and a huge bill I had to finish paying and I'm still paying. They made me pay $250.00 before I left the hospital. Another time when I fell and messed up my ankle my doctor sent me over there for an xray. My ankle was 3 or 4 times its size and they still made me pay for the xray before they would even do it. Something needs to be done with this crazy ridiculous business
Do they by any chance have a social worker you...
could contact? That way, if the social worker stepped in no one in the family would really be so "involved" and it might save hard feelings further down the road but might have the same results.
Have you already started the New Years before I have a chance?
chug-a-lug
Are they mountain climbers by any chance? - sorry, I had to ask! nm
nm
I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
x
Adam is so hyped. No one has a chance.
nm
Is there an age limit on being able to sign up?? I might have missed my chance. LOL
Sorry couldn't resist. I'll never be too old to think that sounds wrong 
I'm more annoyed that the court keeps giving her one more chance.
xx
Any chance you could visit family or a friend...
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can't even imagine what you go through on a daily basis, let alone when you have extras. I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as do many of you other kind-hearted posters.
Oh goody, a chance to play doctor....
Do you have high blood pressure? Have you increased the salt in your diet lately?
I take a water pill, have done so for most of the last 12 years. I was started on it for hand swelling actually (and high BP), but the last couple years, I've had leg swelling when I forget to take it.
Mostly, I think some level of mild leg swelling comes with age. Anything that causes you to need bigger shoes isn't mild though. That would be the point where I stop playing doctor and point you to a real one.
Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in
s
get him a prescription for Chantix. It will give him a 44% better chance of quitting. nm
.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm
xx
Congratulations! Any chance you can email me the recipe. Sounds yummy! - NM
NM
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