Anytime you feel that internal concern
Posted By: sm on 2008-01-13
In Reply to: Worried about autism. - MRMT
it's important to follow through. Have him evaluated, perhaps multiple evaluations. You can't go wrong. Either your fears will be set aside, or you can begin early intervention.
I have no experience with autistic children, but I can tell you that my youngest child did many of the things that you list under "red flags". He obsessed over lining things up, particularly cars. In addition, he'd get VERY upset if you disturbed his line. He barely spoke until he was 3 years old. He always seemed distant to us, not wanting or giving hugs, kisses, not interacting very much. I really felt that he had some sort of serious delay. In comparison, his older brother was always very engaging, talkative, learned to read at age 3. We were very concerned about our younger child.
Fast forward a little bit... our younger son had a slow start in school, but by second grade, he was identified as gifted. He eventually came out of his shell, became talkative, and today is a confident, poised young man, quick to smile and hug his mother. He was just offered scholarships to two major universities. He is planning a career in engineering.
Our older son, who grabbed all sorts of attention for being so advanced, is a wonderful young man, too. He's level-headed, respectful, a real man of character at the age of 20. When he entered kindergarten, he was tested at a 3rd grade reading level, and was equally ahead of the curve in all the other academic areas. Teachers loved him. Eh, but all good things come to an end. He always marched to the beat of a different drummer, and he never was motivated by anything external to his own desires. As a result, he was never much for bringing home good grades. "I know the stuff, why must you all ask me to prove it?" He's returning to college today with a smile on his face and once again on academic probation. "Don't worry mom, you know I know this stuff." The odds are, he will most likely pull himself back up to minimum acceptable standards, just as he has all through his school career. I have a collection of failure warnings that spans years. But he's a wonderful human being and a honorable man, and very smart.
My point is, kids do surprise their parents! Good luck to you and your family.
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anytime :) n/m
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why is is that anytime someone has a differing opinion--sm
that person suddenly has an *anger issue*. If she doesn't like AI, she does not have to. that does not make that person ILL or ANGRY.
Anytime my mother would see graffiti she'd say,...
"Fools names and fools faces, always found in public places."
Have you noticed that anytime 1 of the performers
decides to go on the offensive as Scott did when he said he was satisfied with his performance and thought good (as did Megan) and others, the voters out there just do not seem to like it and they are voted off really soon? Now when Lil was getting a bad evaluation the other night, she was not standing there saying she was satisfied and that was that and she stayed and Scott went. I really think people pay close attention to that and it does not pay for the contestants who want to do their own thing their own way. Just does not work out well for them. I did not see Adam the other night but saw Danny and as usual thought very good. I think it is going to be a guys only when all said and done.
Anytime - Enjoy the show tonight
That was so nasty. I actually had to change the channel. Too creepy for me and after watching so many seasons, that's saying a lot. LOL.
Amy, your halo is ready anytime you want to pick it up! //
//
Thanks for your concern, but sm
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People's Court and other court shows to know that it doesn't matter if you have insurance or not. If we didn't have insurance, they would be paying the full bill. They're responsible for the full bill, period.
We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that.
This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They're not friends of ours. Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We've only been here about a year. They moved in a month before we did.
We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime!
I don't think you understand. This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn't want to get too graphic, but the dog had to be pulled off of her hand. She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk.
How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted?
We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages.
If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I gave their family a check for $87! I think $800 was very reasonable.
This is a real concern
This happened a couple of times in a small town nearby us this week, it seems some perpetrators read the obituaries to see who won't be home since their attending a funeral, then robbing the people blind!
While our neighbor's son Dan was dying at his own place some guy came in and stole the Dan's golf clubs, and his TV.
I was going to attend the funeral, and a friend called me up the very day, and not friendly told me to stay home, and keep an eye on the house. I was kind of irritated with her at the time, but now I understand.
The #1 concern in my life is
my child and what she faces. Sorry, do not have a bleeding heart for your terms of what in years past just deposited in the nearest garbage can.
I can't even deal with these comments. Thx for your concern.
:
If this woman had any real concern...
If this woman really cares for these eight babies, she would give most of them up for adoption. There is no way she can raise this litter along with her other children in a responsible fashion.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
Read all of this and it seems your main concern
here is at the very end, how do working parents deal with this, not about anything else much. You are in the dark about how parents (myself included) for years past dealt with children when the parents (myself included) worked outside the home. Talk about a mind blower, huh? We had either daycare, babysitters, some had grandparents who watched the children, other family members helped out some. Seems to me your concern is childcare mostly.
Not always, sometimes totally benign. The imbalance is a concern, though. nm
s
Buck stops with you. Your health is your #1 concern.
s
I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
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Oh, sorry, misunderstood. Listed under social hx, no mention of a health concern. (NM)
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How would you feel
Let me ask you, how would you feel if you were in an mva and when you arrived at the trauma center they said, sorry - we can't help you, we are closed for Thanksgiving or Christmas as the case may be. We make a choice when we get into healthcare - it's 365 days a year 24/7. Doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, military.. all professions that require working major holidays. Usually it's a skeletan crew that works and is on call for Stats. My feeling is, if a gaurantee job of no holidays is what one wants, then one should go into a field that doesn't require the coverage like banking or a private physicians office. Hospital medical transcription has never been Monday through Friday and never will. Think about it from the patient's point of view, after all - that is the main goal - THEIR care.
Been there - know how you feel sm
Honestly, I lost two angels before my firstborn. One at 16 weeks and the other at 12 weeks. It was excruciating and heart breaking. Now, I know I have two angels on each shoulder 24 hours a day watching over me and my family. It is comforting after a while to know that you have these angels.
God bless you and your family!
You should not feel bad at all, I don't
wrong with your response at all. My home is with my family also, but I do think of the small town in which I spent the first 20 years of my life and the wonderful times I had there, especially at the holiday time of year.
Thank you, too. I feel the same. As for
your European anology of family, you are SO right. I so admire that type of family dynamic, and don't understand fully what happened here in America. My parents were/are typical examples. They were 50's and 60's Beaver-Cleaver parents - my dad worked, my mom was a stay at home mom, though it turned out she hated it. They had the obligatory 3 kids, me being the last, and by a long shot. At any rate, they just did not foster a close family unit - we looked great on paper, but that was it. As soon as I was in my teens, my parents couldn't wait to sell the family home and take off for a retirement community, though they also weren't all that social, either. They barely paid attention to their grandkids - just the obligatory gifts and family dinners, where all was so strained and forced. They thought about themselves, really. Parents who put their happiness and interests first, while going thru the motions, though, of being that all-American upper middle class family. So, they sold everything that to me was cherished and headed south to a senior community, full of lonely seniors who chose that lifestyle. Know what I mean? They couldn't wait to get away from their grown kids and do their own thing, yet when the chips were down and their health was failing, they were stranded more or less, turning to visiting nurses and the like for care. It is odd about our society how things are turning like this and the close extended family just is a legend - like Big Foot. I have done lots of social political reading, and there are actually explanations - you are probably familiar, but it was some in governments plan, and they sure succeeded. Now all is backfiring, though. I know then I have stopped this family distancing with my own kids, thank God. My husband and I are very close with our kids, and vice versa. Many of our peers are the same, though most do not have relationships with their parents either. Maybe there is hope, eh? Nice meeting you! And though we differ, we are the same. 
I feel for you
My MIL died of cancer on Christmas Eve back in the 80s. My ex-MIL, whom I loved dearly, told me, "How wonderful. She died on the eve of the Christ child's birth. You can't ask for a more blessed event as she is definitely in the arms of the Lord."
This always stuck in my mind and made me feel a lot better. I'm not an overly religious person, but when I think of that, I get a warm and fuzzy feeling all over.
I hope everything gets better for you. Just remember that they will be going to a better place without pain, sorrow, or heartache.
I know how you feel....
I just got word that my dad had a brain aneurysm and had a stroke. Nothing but worry. Right now he seems to be doing better, which I am very thankful for. I will be thinking about you and wishing you the best.
I feel for ya, but it will get better! sm
I am at about 10 weeks now. For 2 weeks straight, I was taking a nap at 9:00 in the morning! Then I could hold off until about 1, now I can go a couple of days without taking a nap. Take it as a wonderful sign!
I had a miscarriage last pregnancy, wasn't tired and wasn't nauseous at all. This time I am so very tired and so very sick and I took both as a sign that all was going well this time and it is. Hope all goes well for you this time. Take care of yourself and take it easy!
I feel the same..
The show is fixed. I watched last seasons show, and the rivalry was there in the last episode. I will not watch it again. Sam was definitely better - and Uh? how many times has Marcel won? BTW, he could not even pronounce the Hawaiian foods properly.
I feel bad for her
She lead a rough life and I feel bad for her and her daughter, who will never know her mother or her big brother. She will forever be known as a "who's your daddy" baby because of ghouls who can't mind their own business. I hope Anna is finally at peace.
yep - sure feel the same way!!!
I, too, remember all the lyrics (or most of them).......GREAT GREAT MEMORIES!!! :) 
That is how many already feel about
abortion being legal...it got on the books and has been a black mark ever since. Scarring. What victory are you hailing? The US is considered evil by many nations because of legalized abortion being practiced here. So the affect is greater than realized. Again, whose victory?
I feel for you
My heart goes out to you. I had an anorexic daugter for fives years which started at 10. She is 18 and is cured for the time being. Anyway you are doing the right thing calling the pediatrician and seeking help. Maybe a professional can talk to your husband. Once you get this help have patience it takes a long time for any results. My advice also would not to find any treatment they offer your stepdaughter. My daughter was hospitalized 3 time, and almost died. You have only a few years to work on this. Once their 18 they are their own when it comes to seeking help. Email me any time. I will be praying for your family. . I am so glad you see the problem.
I feel the same
way. I am getting tired of seeing Lucky so happy about his baby and it's not even his. It is starting to make me sick! I love Jason. He needs to take a stand. Also, I'm really ready for everyone to know who Jerry is and get it over with!
I feel the same way-
II was looking at renting an aapartment where everything is earth friendly and energy efficient and it sounds great but they have all these rules, such as you HAVE to recycle. I do recycle but I'll be damned if I'm going to have someone telling me I have to, especially if I am paying to live there. The little kid in me says "I was gonna do it until you told me to!"
I feel for you - sm
I'm sorry a few people jumped on your case. They shouldn't presume to know your entire situation. In my opinion, you asked a specific question and didn't deserve to have people criticize you like that. I had some issues too a couple years ago - mostly medical bills. I finally got them paid off a few months ago and very slowly my credit score is coming back up. Unfortunately, you just have to be patient, but as long as you make your payments on time now, your score should slowly come back up. Hope things work out. Good luck!
we should all feel the way you do; I know I do
If he is big in stature, as well as being a bully, he may respond better to a father in the neighborhood who may get invovled with him, when he is home alone. I am a single parent and am becoming more intolerable daily with people who do not take care of their kids and try to do the right thing.
oh how I feel for you - and I only have ....sm
I only now have night sweats - and I hate it, every night I tear off what I am wearing during sleep....and that's with the a/c on.....*laughs*.....neck, upper chest area is the worst.......drenching sometimes (tho not all the time)....
thanks for the heads-up on the new HRT method(s)....
Do exactly what you said you feel like doing--sm
and then get yourself out of it (marriage). If it has been less than 2 years and he is doing this already, then he will not stop. Do not subject yourself to a lifetime of misery. You stated all the reasons for not having to stay. You will find your happiness elsewhere. Just consider this a poor choice in your early life and move on. Nothing but a speed bump. There are better men out there...somewhere. Good luck to you!!!
You can feel better.
Have you tried talking to a professional and unburdening yourself?
My parents were also distant when I was little, and I confess that now that they want to be all nice and lovey, I think it feels odd and unnatural. I appreciate their fine qualities as people, but I feel like when I was weak and needed help, they left me feeling alone. Now that I have a husband, he is the emotional support that they never were. I don't hate them or anything, but I am baffled that they want more closeness now.
No, I feel exactly the same
I read somewhere people ask if she eats, with such a small body and yes, I too noticed that huge head- you just cannot get past that head to listen to her. I turn the television each time she comes on, irritating really.
I really think you would feel much better...
if you confronted her about it. Get it off your chest, so to speak. I know it can be so hard to be what is perceived as mean-spirited or confrontational (most of us hate confrontation), but I promise you that you will get a lot out of it if you go to her and tell her that it's so unfortunate that she didn't value your friendship and used you that way. Make sure to rise above it emotionally by letting her know that she threw away the best possible friend she could have ever had. She's the loser in this, not you.
I feel bad for you
that you have to insult people. you are not being forced to read this board. Like the OP said we do put names on our post. If you have nothing better to do than to look for posts like these and put people down,it does not say much for you as a person. Try to have a nice day :)
I know how you feel!
Today has been a nice break, since it's 88 and somewhere around 40% humidity. It's hoooomidity that gets to ya! I've had more folks tell me that I don't know what heat is like, because I'm from the north. But Philadelphia sits right next to a big bay and the ocean isn't that far away. We usually have humidity pumping over us all summer long. It just zaps the energy right out of you, doesn't it?
I have a friend who married a guy from central Texas. For the first 12 years of their marriage they lived down there, and when I'd visit and it was 100 degrees there, everyone would ask how I was making out in their heat. "Fine!" I'd say. It wasn't a springtime romp, but without the big wet humidity blanket, it was tolerable. They didn't believe me, and my friend told me to leave it alone, "They just don't believe that Philly gets hot." Well, they moved up her two years ago, and all summer long, her husband tells me, "You people were so right! This is awful!" He's always dripping in sweat!
Ahhh well! The comparisons can go on and on, I guess, until someone chimes in from an equatorial rain forest to put us all to shame!
As for me, I live in a 100-year old house with thick walls and lots of cross ventilation. We don't have a/c except for a room unit that we use for sleeping. The last week, though, has been a challenge. Eventually it'll break, and we'll be complaining about snow and ice here! LOL
I feel ya...
Milk here (GA) is almost $5 a gallon...well actually over $5 with tax! Completely ridiculous. Put your situation in the Lord's hands, you'll feel better! Prayers and hugs!
I feel for you!
I first want to commend you for stepping up to the plate and taking care of your stepdad when no one else will. I only hope he appreciates you for that. Can you contact Social Services to arrange for some home nursing care? You definitely sound as though you need some help with his ADLs. I recommend plenty of exercise and time for yourself if you can find it, a good stress release! Also I think a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation does wonders, but I realize that's not for everyone. Also, try Bach's Flower Remedy from health food stores. There's one called Rescue Remedy - a few drops on the tongue and you feel calm and peaceful and it's all natural.
And lastly just remember . . . this too shall pass !
I feel for you sm
I feel your frustrations. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I haven't had any situations similar to yours, but hearing about your BIL makes me angry. Sounds like he needs to be turned in. Is your sister scared of him? Maybe that's why she hasn't called you to tell you how she really feels. Mayb BIL has some control over her. I don't have any advice, but I sure hope things work out for you. Hang in there. I really hope your son realizes that he doesn't need friends like that. Especially the 20 something year old. He needs to pick on a crowd his own age.
Good luck.
Thank you. I need to just go do it. I feel
bad about being afraid to because some women would like to and might not be able to. Thanks again for your reply.
I feel for you....
I agree with the advice to try to talk to him and get to the bottom of it. I know that can be a hard thing with some men. Would he be willing to go to counseling? In the meantime, I would encourage you to find strong girlfriends to support you rather than guy friends. There's a way of having an emotional affair even when you don't have the physical one, if that makes sense. So it could be true that you're actually both distant right now.
I've been through divorce, and it's a very painful road for you and the kids. Yes, you do need to be a healthy mom for your kids, but that doesn't take away the enormous pain they experience as a result of divorce and the aftermath. You're in a very hard spot with no simple solution.
Clearly something needs to happen, and sometimes things get worse before they get better. I pray God will step into your situation in a dramatic way. Miracles do still happen, so don't give up hope. And regardless of what comes out of this, God can walk you through to a better place than you're in today.
Hang in there. Take positive steps forward. Email me if you ever want to talk.
Then I say just let him do it. I would feel sorry for him.
nm
I feel for ya...
My daughter had the same situation in I think it was 2nd grade, had long beautiful blonde hair, was a nightmare, and, yes, I posted in response to someone about this once and some kind soul responded to me, get a grip, it's just lice, she could get it at the theatre or church or anywhere...which is true but not the case here, this was a problem at school that they knew they were having and had been going on all year I found out later. I was pretty naive, had never seen them before, took her to the doctor to find out what it was! He said, yep, lice, here's some shampoo and get to work, got it cut out for ya unless you want to basically shave her head. I got it, too, because I used my brushes on her hair. Like I said, feel for ya, a real nightmare. Had to call the mother of her friend who had just spent the night that weekend and inform her so she could keep an eye on her daughter.
I kept her home and worked and worked and worked some more on her and everything I could think of. Luckily the rest of the family did not get it. Went to school to talk to the teacher, who said there was a problem with a family who had 2 girls, one of them in DD's class, and guess what, she sat next to my daughter. They had been sent home multiple times, too. I went to the principal and had a little conference, asked why no notes had been sent home informing parents there was a problem and was he aware that a school had been totally shut down not far away where everybody, including the teachers and their families, had lice. Apparently, he wasn't? said they didn't want to send notes because of privacy issues. Huhs? I'm not asking for names and numbers!! just to be informed to be on the lookout so we can be aware and get on top of it. After that, they did start sending home notes alerting about lice outbreaks. They also stopped making the kids put their coats and hats in a pile in the gym or at recess and told the kids not to share hats and coats, etc. I started putting her hair in really tight french braids and asked the teacher to move her to another seat. I kept it low key in front of my daughter, she felt bad enough, like it was her fault, and she cried every day as we sat and I picked the nits. I then understood the true meaning of nit picking!
Also be sure to take care of bedding, stuffed toys, favorite blankets, coats, hats, brushes, combs, etc. your bedding, blankets, pillows if been napping or such on your bed or siblings. I also worked on upholstered furniture, couch pillows, car seats, etc.
I feel bad for both of you
For him to go without being intimate for 3 years, yet want to stay in the marriage has to say something. I can see why he would reduce his requests to e-mail; being bluntly turned down day after day would have to tear him up. So then it comes down to WHY does he want to stay married to you? Because he really loves you and the kids, or is it another reason? I would suggest to try counseling again, preferably through a religious counselor. I think individual counseling might help too. You are in my prayers.
I feel bad for him too but (sm)
he has cheated many times in the past, was physically aggressive for years, beat me pretty bad one time, and gives me no say over any of our financial decisions or any decisions regarding where we live, where we go, what we buy, etc. He stays gone for days at a time without me being able to contact him via cell phone. He wants to stay because of the kids, but he doesn't see them all that much anyway and would see them as much or more if we divorced. I really think it is more about money.
I feel for you. .
I wish I had some good advice for you. . I've never been in such a situation so I just don't know what I would do. . I wish there was some way to help. .
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