Anyone out there going to college at age 40? sm
Posted By: starting over on 2009-06-17
In Reply to:
I am considering about ditching the MT scene once my children graduate from high school (in 7 years). I am currently 42 years old and considering going for a Bachelors in computers. Anyone else doing this?
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college son
I agree - take the phone away! My son's first away job was at age 18. He was sent to NYC Kennedy Airport as his base (flight attendant). We live in a tiny little town in IL. Of course, I wanted him to be safe, blah, blah, blah. First phone bille I got was over $200.00. His dad gave him a credit card for emergencies - first bill was over $3000.00 - you guessed it. Took both away. Got him a number to call home with, no one else. Phone companies do that somehow. Dad started sending a fixed amount (flight attendants are paid terrible wages in the beginning) Fifteen years later, he is an extremely successful hair stylist with his own hair product line in Spr. Illinois. You have to do something now or you will be broke, he will waste a year at school and they will probably make it or break it no matter what you do. Hang in there! He WILL grow up! 
college son
I could have written that same thing except this is my daughter and her boyfriend is a loser. Dont like him and havent even met him. She goes to a junior college where we live and works PT. He on the other hand does not go to school and does not have a job. When will it end. Any advice.
college son
 My son's spree ended when he was 27. He spent years "finding his niche." Flight attendant, waiter, retail clerk. Constantly broke, moving absolutely continually between IL, NY, IA and MO. Drove us nuts. After a few moves, I stopped helping with moves - "if you want to move, get your friends to help." After bleeding his dad (we were divorced, then he died) and my mom (you know the ask grandma thing) practically dry, he finally had to grow up. Went to hair college in Iowa and has been working his tail off ever since. It took him years to mature, years of poor choices, years of being poor to finally realize that his life was up to him, not anyone else. He is now totally responsible - I am so proud of him. For the past 2 years in a row, he has earned the Iliinois Times "Springfield's Best" title for hair stylist. Quite an honor. Your son will be okay. Some young guys don't make college on the first try and have to do it again a few years later. Hang in there. 
College vs. not
I am a year away from graduating with a Bachelors in psychology with counseling. I'm pretty sure it will be useful, but there is no way of knowing now.
However,
My husband just graduated in May 2008 with his History degree. This week he finally got a job, and more than likely he could have gotten it without a degree (managing a sports store), but I am sure it helped, since he doesn't have a lot of retail experience.
I think it's kind of a 50/50 deal. You could get a degree, and never need it. Or you could get one and not need it until later on in your career when you want to move up. Or you could not get it and get blocked for all kinds of jobs.
In the end I would probably do college over again just because I love learning.
pray tell, how DID they get to college and/or
I'm back in college now. You
have me thinking about getting a class ring too - how funny. But the ring I like best is the class ring my mom has. I never see that style anymore. No stone, not overly large or fine either, just gold with a narrow, stacked rectangular portion in the middle that has white gold while the rest of the ring is yellow gold.
Maybe I should just see if I can get her ring back from her; I let her have it back when I moved out of the house after wearing it a lot after high school.
HELP, son in first year of college... psm
I don't get to post very often, but I am kind of at a loss as to what to do. We are having a real problem here.
My son has always been a very good kid. He has always made good grades. He has never gotten into much trouble. Well, he got almost a full-paid scholarship to college. We always told him that if he got a scholarship, we would get him a car. Well, he got the scholarship and carefully researched what kind of car he wanted. We went out and got him a car.
Subsequently, he became involved with a girl. I don't have a problem with his girlfriend. She's very sweet and I do like her. The problem is this. I got the first phone bill after he left and he was texting her day and night. So, we asked him to cut back. We pay the phone bill. We make the rules. We have unlimited messages but 15,000 messages in one month just seems crazy when he is complaining about being exhausted. We worked it out. At 10 seconds a message it would be 40 hours worth of texting...
He comes home for the weekend and we take him to dinner. Fifteen dollar dinner and he is falling asleep at the dinner table. He proceeds to tell us how miserable he is at school. We explain to him how sorry we are, but he is stuck there at the very least for this year as he is already enrolled etc. We also made it clear that he needed to at least try to make it work.
So, he continues to text day and night even though he promised he would cut down. He was texting during classes, which just seems wrong to me. It is disrespectful to the professors and unfair to the students sitting around him. We threatened to take his phone away. He finally stopped doing that but now I have my suspicions he is cutting class to talk on AIM to his girlfriend, and he had to drop the only difficult class he had or he was going to fail it and lose his scholarship. He is lying to us about stuff. He is being deceitful about stuff. I am just at my wits end.
This is a nice girl from a nice family. We know her parents. We like her. We like her parents. But I feel like she is trying to control his life from 2 hours away and it is working. It is almost like he is chosing to be miserable to accommodate her. I talked to her mother last week and one day she called home 15 times. My husband feels like we shouldn't talk to her parents about this.
We know that we can't make dating her an issue because that will just make him want to date her all the more. I am at a loss as to what if anything to do about it. My husband says that if he is chosing to be miserable then he can be miserable and that college is what you make of it. I am 95% sure he wants to change schools and go where his girlfriend is going. Well, that is the most expensive school in the state and he will be giving up a free ride to do that plus he now has an almost new car that we would have to deal with because he would not get to keep that and go to the expensive school. No way, no how. I have serious reservations about him going to a school with a party-school reputation when he has a free education at a very good school. I also do not want to pay $18,000 a year so that he can be with his girlfriend no matter how much I like her.
Any words of wisdom?
1st year of college
Went that same route, it was awful. A psychoogist friend of mine told me not to panic, to insist he finish out the year where he was. He then transferred the 2nd year. He is now married to someone he met in that second college, has beautiful children, etc. Yet to say that was one of the most horrible years of my life would be the truth. Hang in there, be stronger than he, he's just a kid, really, thinks he's in love. You on the other hand are paying for him and working yourself to death for him. Take the phone away or at least make him sign a contract that he will finish the year out, will limit his phone bill, etc. You are the boss of him, not the other way around. It's horrible, I know, but tough it out. This girl cannot be too smart, but probably very sexy. Not much you can do about it. Have your husband step in and take over or else you will be the classic Monster-In-Law. Time for Dad to be the boss here and set the rules, tell him to step up to the plate and stop being Mr. Nice Guy! He needs a strong male image to step in and tell him what the rules are, not you.
My son threw college away....
My mother was gonna pay for everything including tuition, books, clothing, you name it. He went in the front door and out the back. Later my father offered to send him to some sort of trade school, all expenses paid. Son married then, 2 children, turned it down. He basically has had horrible attitude towards any job he has ever had and usually quit/fired. I have not talked with him now in about 3 years (he lives close by). I have wished he and his family the best- I quit being the bank for them. If I could make it without extra help around to raise 2 children, with their family having both parents there, children out of high school, they can certainly make it. Good luck to them.....
Yes it is from a community college - thanks (nm)
x
I don't have children old enough for college yet, but
I did hear that there are all sorts of scholarships out there, you just have to know where to look. Maybe someone else will know exactly how to find them, but I remember hearing that there's some sort of book out (maybe try googling)where you can get a scholarship just (as an example) for being Polish or Italian and some places give out scholarships for the oddest things. Good luck. My daughter wants to be a vet, and the school she'll want to go to Cornell is so expensive, if she doesn't get a scholarship there's no way we can afford it.
paying for college
I have two sons in college right now ...one out-of-state, one in a private university. They both end up getting paid to go to school because they have so many scholorships. Did the high school counselor help me find any....NO. We are in a small town and I got no help from the school or town. Neither one of my sons played any sports...but I will tell you what I found out...what is more important is that your child is involved in school and the community. They don't care if they have ever worked a day in their life...they want to know what they have done in school grade wise, and community wise. Even just ringing the bells for the Salvation Army at Chrismtas time will earn you a scholorship. I filled out over 56 scholorships for both my sons to go to school for free...you just have to learn as you go how to word answers on the scholorships. We are not poor but we are not rich...but we made to much money to get any FAFSA help.
COLLEGE AND SCHOLARSHIPS
My first daughter was lucky with the scholarships and has just graduated from a private college in state with a degree in Nursing (BSN). She went to this $34,000 a year college for $13,000 a year but still has $60,000 of student loans to pay back but she makes $3,000 a month and has no other expenses. My other daughter chose to go out of state and Massachusetts only helps in state students. She goes to Umass at Amherst and there is so many scholarships if you live in MA. Anyway she is also on student loans. I told my girls this is the only way you can go to high priced colleges if this is what you want. They have 10 years to pay for them once they graduate. Most of their friends are doing the same way. We also applied the FASA 4 years in a row and it helped with the first child but even when I had both in college it did not help my second child. She still has to pay the going rate for out of state. I even called up Umass and said another college in MA is giving her $10,000 scholarship off the tuition and they said well tell her to go there. I really think it depends on the college. GOOD LUCK
college in Morehead
I went to college in Morehead in the late 70s.. it has grown a lot since then. . they are even getting a super Wal-Mart soon.. lol.
It is also title used on college and job
x
college costs
DD just got accepted to the Pratt Institute, an art and design college in NY. Cost for first year including room, board, fees, books, etc., $48,000. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Seems like a lot money to learn how to paint and make collages.
college was definitely wasted on me
First I tried sociology, then quit to get married. Then I tried nursing school but couldn't deal with it anymore, so I purposefully got pregnant so I could quit in my last semester of school (first trimester of the pregnancy). I'm just not smart enough for that stuff anyway.
Is College Worth It?
As parents pack their youngsters off to college, they might ask themselves whether it's worth both the money they will spend and their children's time. Dr. Marty Nemko has researched that question in an article aptly titled "America's Most Over-rated Product: Higher Education (www.martynemko.com/articles/americas-most-overrated-product-higher-education_id1539)."
The U.S. Department of Education statistics show that 76 out of 100 students who graduate in the bottom 40 percent of their high school class do not graduate from college, even if they spend eight and a half years in college. That's even with colleges having dumbed down classes to accommodate such students. Only 23 percent of the 1.3 million students who took the ACT college entrance examinations in 2007 were prepared to do college-level study in math, English and science. Even though a majority of students are grossly under-prepared to do college-level work, each year colleges admit hundreds of thousands of such students.
While colleges have strong financial motives to admit unsuccessful students, for failing students the experience can be devastating. They often leave with their families, or themselves, having piled up thousands of dollars in debt. There is possibly trauma and poor self-esteem for having failed, and perhaps embarrassment for their families. Dr. Nemko says that worst of all is that few of these former college students, having spent thousands of dollars, wind up in a job that required a college education. It's not uncommon to find them driving a taxi, working at a restaurant or department store, performing some other job that they could have had as a high school graduate or dropout.
What about students who are prepared for college? First, only 40 percent of each year's 2 million freshmen graduate in four years; 45 percent never graduate at all. Often, having a college degree does not mean much. According to a 2006 Pew Charitable Trusts study, 50 percent of college seniors failed a test that required them to interpret a table about exercise and blood pressure, understand the arguments of newspaper editorials, and compare credit card offers. About 20 percent of college seniors did not have the quantitative skills to estimate if their car had enough gas to get to the gas station. According a recent National Assessment of Adult Literacy, the percentage of college graduates proficient in prose literacy has declined from 40 percent to 31 percent within the past decade. Employers report that many college graduates lack the basic skills of critical thinking, writing and problem-solving.
Colleges are in business. Students are a cost. Research is a profit center. When colleges boast about having this professor who has won a science award or that professor who has won the Nobel Prize, very often an undergraduate student will never be taught by that professor. It is a "bait and switch" tactic and very often your youngster will take classes not taught by a professor but taught in large classes by a graduate student. Faculty who bring in large grants are more highly valued than faculty who teach well. Teaching excellence is so often undervalued that the late Ernest Boyer, vice president for Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching, quipped that, "Winning the campus teaching award is the kiss of death when it comes to tenure."
Parents and taxpayers cough up billions upon billions of dollars to the nation's colleges and universities. Colleges make money whether students learn or not, whether they graduate or not, and whether they get a good job after graduating or not. Colleges and universities engage in "bait and switch," confer fraudulent degrees and engage in other practices that would bring legal sanctions if done by any other business. There is little or no oversight of the nation's over 4,000 colleges and universities that enroll over 17 million students. There are some colleges, such as Grove City College and Hillsdale College, that do a fine job of undergraduate education. Useful information about what colleges are doing what can be found in the Delaware-based Intercollegiate Studies Institute's "Choosing the Right College" (http://isi.org/college_guide/choosing_right_college.html).
There's more to college costs than just
the tuition. Parents have a responsibility to their children to see to it that they are educated in a manner that prepares them for a career, not flipping burgers. I know that that wasn't always the norm and that college was a privilege, but now it is a necessity. You can't make it in the world without some kind of degree and not helping your children with their education is selfish.
That's not to say that the child shouldn't bear some responsibility in this. He/she can certainly get a part-time job to help with books, living expenses, etc. I see nothing wrong with the child taking out the standard student loan either, but dumping them out the door at 18 with nothing more than a high school education is not being a responsible parent. Perhaps that's the problem today. So many parents don't have time or are too selfish worrying about themselves to make sure their children are set. It's not about money, it's about responsibility.
Judging by your responses, I'd say your husband's divorce was quite bitter and perhaps the animosity you feel should be directed toward his ex-wife and not the children. They obviously had no control over that money that was given to their mother. While my children aren't ready for college yet, one thing I have learned already is that you never stop being a parent.
Both of my sons are in college now.
It's very easy to become overwhelmed quickly during the search. My husband and I approached the process a little differently. We didn't do anything like the other parents and high school juniors/seniors were doing. We did pretty much... well nothing. We let our kids lead in the process. We didn't even look at the applications unless our sons asked us to. We felt that our job was to guide them and to keep them from getting caught up in the college search mania that seems to grip everyone during those last two years in high school.
My husband and I went to the same, very large university (Temple U). Back all those years ago, it just seemed that there wasn't quite so much pressure on kids and parents when it came to college searches. We both chose Temple because it offered degree programs that we wanted and that we could afford. The campus wasn't pretty and it was a commuter school then, which meant that the "college experience" for us was living at home and going to school. College was more of a practical work-and-study experience for us. And we received very good educations.
Fast forward to our own children. We told both of our sons that they should think of their college experience as the preliminary work for their careers. They didn't look at it as a means to move away from home or be on their own. (No college student is really on their own when living in a dorm, anyway.) They needed to determine what area they were interested in studying and then choose a school that offered a good program and that we could afford. The affordability factor was a big one for us. No one wants to have huge loans at the end of this "experience".
Our oldest son was not quite sure what he wanted to do, so he wisely chose to spend a year at the local community college. We were thrilled! It cost us less than his high school tuition! He checked out different options and settled on a meteorology major. With that decided, he discovered that there was only one school that we could afford and that had a great program. He applied, was accepted, and his community college credits transferred. He is now a junior.
Our younger son wants to be an engineer, though he's not sure what kind of an engineer. He is leaning towards civil engineering. He decided to live at home to save money. That narrowed his decision down to just two schools, Drexel and Temple, both a short train ride from our home. He applied to only those two schools, was accepted at both, and received decent scholarship offers from both. In the end, Temple was far more affordable, and so now our youngest walks the campus of our alma mater. Our friends and neighbors were shocked that our oldest applied to just one school, and our youngest applied to just two. They were amazed that we weren't on constant campus tours or worried about "options" and "fits".
Why such a long post that seems a bit off-topic? Well, because I see so many people stress over this decision. It really isn't the end of the world. It's four short years of a person's life. They're important years, to be sure. But they don't have to be make or break years. Most college students will change majors at some point, many will transfer to other schools. These decisions can be re-made later on. You are in the market for a product, just as if you were shopping for a car or other big ticket item. Try to keep calm about it so that your student doesn't pick up on the stress. It is stressful, but if you keep it all in perspective, the stress doesn't have to feel so overwhelming.
And for the short answer: We liked visiting the schools at open house to get a general feel for the place. At that point you can usually tell if the school is a viable option or not. If not, no reason to revisit. If yes, then visit again and make an appointment for a personal tour and/or interview.
Don't worry! You'll survive!
Try community college first sm
It was "not cool" for my kids to go to college locally, so we literally "wasted" good money on out-of-state high brow -- only to find unhappiness at missing the friends, girlfriends, etc. One ended up back in state at a good university at a much less drain on our budget and he is now a professor there. Can't tell these kids much about smart moves if they are hell bent on going away from home and driving your bank accounts to the limit. Community 2-year colleges locally are wonderful and most good universities will accept these credits, it's a great way not only to save money but to let them get their feet wet and get a lot of experience with what they are actually really talented at. Can't tell them much, but you can try, it will save you a lot of heartache and less drain on your budget for the "real stuff" such as grad school, etc., which is almost imperative today to compete. Good luck!!!
We did this play when I was in college sm
I was doing props and even backstage I had to be careful not to get too emotional about it or I would miss my cue. And that scene in the movie in the cemetary just makes me bawl. When I was 10, my aunt and 3-year-old cousin were killed in a car accident, and that movie always makes me think of her and her other child, who survived the accident. He is in his 20s now.
she said she's going back to college...
to get her Master's.
so let's see, daycare for one baby in diapers is what, $500 a month?, x8 = $4000 a month. more than I make working two jobs. Just for childcare.
I would have had a different college major - sm
and been smart about saving money then and not getting into debt....and not picking the loser guys I dated until I met my husband at age 29. ---though had things been different I'd probably be married to someone else and have two totally different kids which are the 2 things I would not want to change--
My state it's to 22 if in college (nm)
nm
college kids sleeping together
I have an 18 and 21 year old (both girls) that go to college. Both of them have boyfriends out of State. So they come to visit and these boys sleep in another room because my daughters know I would not care to have them sleep in the same beds in my home. I told them I am not running a hotel. I always tell them there is a diference between a college dorm and our home. What happens at college I don't see. Last night I asked the 18 year old when you go to your boyfriend's house who is 20where do you sleep. (I never met the parents. She said the stepmom said she would not have a problem sharing the same bed in her home but knows that her stepson does not share one in our home so she wants to respect our wishes. I know when my daugther went off to college she was never sexually active and had morals. This woman is 38 and I am 52. There is also a 10 year old boy that lives in that same house. My daugter told me they are more like hippies compared to us. Am I being a prude or does anyone feel the same way I do.
how many of you needed scholarships for college
tuition for you or a child and didn't qualify - did ya know the illegal immigrants are getting them? That's when I went off!
Not until 9/6 near Philadelphia. College kid left, tho.
x
Dad was college instructor of the Packers'
old Special Teams Coordinator, so we went to a Packer game at Lambeau and had dinner with and met the team and their families after the game. Awesome day.
so, she just started college and now you hear from her.
nm
None for me, but friend went to college with Rbt. Redford, and
*
I forgot! My MIL is almost 67 and has just started college. sm
She is going for her history degree. She's doing it right--she is taking classes for free since she's older than 65. She didn't finish high school even, but she is very intelligent.
My first day of college. He was a senior, I was a freshman.
We didn't date until the end of my sophomore year and after he had graduated, but we were part of the same circle of friends. When I first met him, he was listening to a transister radio with a single earpiece. (Anyone remember those?) He was waiting to hear when Led Zeppelin concert tickets were going on sale.
We've been married 23 years, and are still going strong. (And our youngest child will be attending that same university in the fall.)
Private vs state college.
My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college. She will be a transfer student from a community college. However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL (St. Pete campus).
Financially it's the same because with UT she is getting grants/scholarships for most of the tuition. At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures. We will have to take out loans for housing for either.
We are having extreme anxiety over this. Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere. It's on the bay and looks to be much more laid back than UT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa.
There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya'll would get very bored. But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment. We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed. I just want her to have the best experience possible. In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better. Also, she is having a problem with turning down the grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting for a state school.
Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol)
I'm just wondering if private is all it's cracked up to be? I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two!
One more thing... she's a huge baseball fan... Rays fan... St. Pete campus is 2 miles from the stadium... Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing?
And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.
College search - For those of you who have had experience -
In your opinion, is it more fruitful to go on an open house when all the departments are out there with handouts and such, or on individual or small group appointments with maybe a little more one-on-one?
I'm overwhelmed already, and we've only been to two colleges!
College fund? Yeah ah, what's that?
pay their own way. College for my kids is the least of my worries. I am just trying to keep food on the table and the bills paid that keep going up and up.
No, I don't believe golden parachutes are a must for these companies, but I would have to question their bookkeeping skills for sure.
The hospital I came from that outsourced my job overseas just laid off 30 people last week. It's everywhere.
Job hunting? Well let's just say if you can find one that pays more, then go for it, but there's always that learning curve.
Thank God I work from home and find no need to purchase new attire for the season. We haven't had a true, true vacation in years, and yes we also live in a lower income neighborhood. Our salary is $80,000.00 a year combined, and we still live paycheck to paycheck basically with 2 kids to clothe and feed.
Christmas? I'll think about that after I've recouped the money of purchasing a calculator for $125.00 for my 8th grade (a must according to the teacher). So, not all is me, me, me, now, now, now...
Am I blessed? Yes, I am. We both have jobs and an income and healthcare. Vacation and college????? Privileges as far as I'm concerned, not necessities. If my kid wants a college education, he'd better get a job and go part-time! He'll have a place to live (right here).
What kind of college degree?
I can't believe a degree would be useless!
First day of college. I was a freshman and he was a senior.
We didn't pay too much attention to each other, to be honest, but we ran in the same crowd of friends. I kept running into him at parties and bars (back when the legal drinking age was 18 and I could hang out in a bar as a teenager.) We eventually took serious notice of each other and started dating. We've been married 24 years, and occasionally we still go to the pub and have a drink or two.
question for college graduates
I am writing this post as a question to college graduates, or even people who know other college graduates; was college worth it in your experience? I am just asking, as a curious question, because I have been hearing now and then about people who get degrees and can't find work, or find no work better than they would have had if they hadn't gone to college.
So my question to all of you, was college worth it? Was it worth the time/money you spent? Have you found it genuinely useful in life? Is a four-year degree better than a two-year degree or does college seem to matter at all? Would you go to college all over again if you could go back, or not?
Tell me about your experiences post-college in that aspect. Thank you for your time.
My daughter, a sophomore in college,
was given a car by her father (an old cadillac) when she was a senior and I carried her insurance. She sold it last summer and bought her own car, is paying for that herself, but I am still paying for part of her insurance as she is FT college student and is only working part-time.
I went to Planned Parenthood in college
They charged me $5 for the visit and $10 for 6 months worth of birth control pills. Name brand. Not too bad, so maybe she just hit a bad one.
My daughter never wanted to go to college out of town,
thank goodness! Live in large city but still less than 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back. Blessing!
Famous highschool or college classmates?
Anybody go to high school or college with someone that now is famous? My husband graduated high school with Dennis Basso. He is a designer who is on QVC a lot. I want my husband to call QVC everytime he is on to chat with him for laughs but he refuses. He says he was a loner in school, Dennis, I mean. Now look at him. Bringing home the big $$$$$
My parents both went to college with Stephen King
and he lives right up the street from my parents.
Anyone know who to get college loans when you have less than good credit?
Daughter is going to school and she can get a loan with a cosigner but due to my and my husband's finances we do not qualify. Asking anyone else in the family is out of the question, tried, no luck.. Are there loans out there where my daughter would not need a cosigner. She is a first year freshman.
this is a throw back to my college days
Morning Thunder is loaded with caffeine! Good for all nighters!
I depends on the person/student. Not everyone is cut out for college.
And it would sure help if the local school systems would actually TEACH things like English grammar, etc. Isn't that more important than reading Hemingway?
REPORT: Another college campus shooting. sm
From MSNBC: A gunman opened fire Thursday in a lecture hall on the campus of Northern Illinois University, wounding as many as 15 people
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
Parents DO NOT owe kids college education.
When DD started college we paid,,,, at first. But she did NOTHING to help herself. From her part time job, all her money went to nails, clothes, meals out with friends, etc. She did nothing about getting scholarships. After 1st year, I said I wouldnt pay anything else. DH continued to help her. She did apply for scholarship thru DH work and got $2000. Of that money, she ended up dropping a class paid for with that money, cause it was too early (8:00am). Bottom line, she did nothing towards finishing school, in fact, quit going, did not increase work hours. I stopped giving her ANY money at that point. She ended up marrying Marine boyfriend and is now working at Dollar Store. These were HER choices, instead of completing her teaching degree, of which she only had 2 years to go. I told her why should I spend my hard earned money on her when she was doing absolutely nothing to help herself. She knew if she was making an effort to her future I would help her, but not if she wasnt doing anything for herself.
As poster of daughter who misused college help
I did it cause I wanted to, not cause I thought I owed it to her. I told her from K that if she wanted a guarantee of college she better get the grades cause couldnt promise we could help her. I just happened to be in a position that I could help when the time came. I have already told DS not to expect the same as we did for DD, cause I was not going to throw my money away. Now, if he makes an effort to help himself, sure, I will help but I will not throw good money after bad. He also knows we are not going to buy him a car, as we did for DD, cause that was a disaster too. Some may say this is unfair, but I see it was a parental learning experience.
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