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Anyone ever been trustee of a Special Needs Trust?

Posted By: Hayseed on 2007-07-30
In Reply to:

I've been the trustee of my older sister now since 2001 when our mother died.  She is mentally retarded because she fried her brain on LSD and mescalin when she was a teenager, also is bipolar and on SSDI.  


She just called me to say she is on the edge of losing all of her benefits, including her state-funded housing, because her love toy went and blabbed to the housing authority that she was getting this "extra" money and it's a huge amount.  Well, it's not a huge amount by any means, not even $40,000 to last her lifetime.  I'm sure she and her benefits are protected via the whole category of "Special Needs Trust" but to say my blood pressure is up is an understatement of the decade. 


I just want to drive 8 hours to smack the sh*t out of her and her G-spot Johnny (did I mention she's also hypersexual?!) boy toy.  Now, I'm not a violent person, but the attorney told me that the government could also come after me if they feel there has been any sort of fraud here.  I'm not the one that did drugs, yet for some reason this responsibility was tossed in my lap.  Hmmm...could be that whole atheist thing and this is mom's retribution. 


So, anyone know anything about Special Needs Trusts I should be particularly concerned about?




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I do know a special needs trust will not
xx
I say trust your gut-
drownings can happen so easily, even with good supervision. If the other boy's father is going to be drinking who knows what could happen. Plus I have learned in my life that when my gut tells me something I really need to listen. Better that your son be unhappy with you for short while but alive and well.
I do not believe a trust

will jeopardize her other benefits.  You should have an attorney who is well versed in this type of thing to go over all the ins and outs of the situation. 


Trust
In this day and age.....I don't trust anyone....whether it is child, mother, sister, cousin.......You never know what frame of mind a person is in.......Sorry.....I should have never posted....just wanted to get some insight....not to get knocked down because of a decision I made....
When it comes down to it, you have to trust
your daughter, no matter how old the boyfriend may be.
I do trust her - sm
The problem is her dad. It took her, a counselor, and me to convince him to even get him to agree to let her see him in the mall. I agree with the other posters - I'd like to get him over here to dinner or something, maybe a BBQ now that it's getting warmer. Just have to figure out how to let Dad know they're communicating again.
Trust me ... at the end of the day s/m
no one will be looking at the state of your house.  But definitely getting everyone in the household involved and sharing responsibility will give them all a satisfied feeling of being able to contribute.  If you are doing all the cooking, lots of things can be done days in advance, a little at a time.  It will get done -- try not to sweat it too much.  Believe me, your guests will be so grateful that is wasn't them having to do it, they will look at you as the hero!
I don't trust them
They just don't seem to be accurate, and I don't like that they want you to give them information such as your address.
Trust yourself.
You already know the truth. Trust your own instincts. Face whatever you know to be the truth and deal with that.

When we begin asking others, we already have the knowledge but want others to confirm it for us.

You will make the right decision for yourself.
NEVER! Nor would I trust a US doc with a

regaining trust

I understand your disappoinment...I'm sorry you had to catch him in a lie...that's the worst.


Stick to your initial plan and don't give in....He's gotta regain/earn your trust back at this point before you let him have the car.  The end of the semester may seem like an eternity, but it's only about 8 or 9 weeks and then he'll be home for Christmas break.  He'll live and perhaps thank you some day.   


It appears the girlfriend's parents and you are on the same page.  That's a big plus.


Did you ever get that cell phone back?   Cat


  


trust your heart
Trust yourself and trust in God, as well as your doctors. They would not want anything bad to happen to your baby. By the way, if you ever have a chance to go see the Body World 3 exhibit you would love the embryo/fetus exhibit. It is absolutely amazing what a 4wk embryo looks like and how he/she develops by 16 weeks into an absolutely perfectly formed baby. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated on your progress.
How sad not to trust anyone, even family nm!
NM
Not sure if I trust her judgement.....she
xx
Trust your instincts. nm
xx
I think probably they did not have as much to put on special -
I bet that people are just not buying as much and they are having to mark it down before it ruins.

I don't think they ever threw it out - they just were able to sell it before it got old.
No, there is nothing really special about
Danny's voice and Danny in general. Very common. I have already forgotten his voice, I remember only his rock shrieks......
What brought him that far was only compassion for the death of his wife or girlfriend........
Well, isn't that just so SPECIAL.
.
You say spanking does not build trust?
It sure makes a kid do good, though. I would not raise my kids to be terrors and surely not with g'kids. I just do not have it period.
Good advice. Wish we could trust everyone. . . NM
xx
addressing trust issues...
I am so sorry you don't trust pitbulls. If you owned one you would feel differently.
I agree, trust your pets
Dogs or cats for that matter. Whether they sense trouble or they sense the personality, it doesn't really matter. They are sending you a message and you should listen. Animals are known for being loyal to their owners at all cost. It's their nature. Have you ever been sick and had your dog lay next to your bed the entire day...same sort of thing. They are being loyal and protecting you. You don't have to tell them; they just know something isn't right.

I have had this experience with several pets, including my cat. Yes, I said my cat. lol She is like a dog in a lot of ways. They just know when something is off and they will tell you the best way they can. I never tell them a person is okay or to stop barking. If things are okay or the person is okay they will stop on their own without me saying a word. Somehow they just know.
I trust my daughter but not her friends
I think my daughter knows right from wrong and would not do anything inappropriate, but I worry about the boys.  They seem to be able to do a lot more than what I allow my daughter to do... some of them are older and also they have very bad manners IMO.  I wish she would find someone else to hang out with.  It seems like that harder I try to change her behavior, the harder she pulls in the other direction.  Are all teenaged girls like that?  I guess I was too at that age, but it still worries me.
I would trust my husband and throw it away...
but that is because I trust my husband and also because I know he doesn't have time for an affair ;). If you know it isn't true, don't pay it any attention.
Would you trust "out-of-the-USA" surgery?

Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


=============================


NEW DELHI, India (CNN) -- "I was a walking time bomb. I knew I had to get on that plane if I wanted to be around to see my grandkids."


Sandra Giustina is a 61-year-old uninsured American. For three years she saved her money in hopes of affording heart surgery to correct her atrial fibrillation. "They [U.S. hospitals] told me it would be about $175,000, and there was just no way could I come up with that," Giustina said.


So, with a little digging online, she found several high quality hospitals vying for her business, at a fraction of the U.S. cost. Within a month, she was on a plane from her home in Las Vegas, Nevada, to New Delhi, India. Surgeons at Max Hospital fixed her heart for "under $10,000 total, including travel."


Giustina is just one of millions around the world journeying outside their native land for medical treatment, a phenomenon known as "medical tourism." Experts say the trend in global health care has just begun. Next year alone, an estimated 6 million Americans will travel abroad for surgery, according to a 2008 Deloitte study. "Medical care in countries such as India, Thailand and Singapore can cost as little as 10 percent of the cost of comparable care in the United States," the report found.


Companies such as Los Angeles-based Planet Hospital are creating a niche in the service industry as medical travel planners. One guidebook says that more than 200 have sprung up in the last few years. "We find the best possible surgeons and deliver their service to patients safely, affordably and immediately," said Rudy Rupak, president of Planet Hospital. "No one should have to choose between an operation to save their life or going bankrupt."


Planet Hospital, which works with international clients as well as Americans, books patients' travel and arranges phone interviews with potential surgeons. Patients are greeted by a company representative at the airport in the country where they've chosen to be treated; a 24-hour personal "patient concierge" is also provided, a level of service that's standard among many of the top medical travel planning companies.  Watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta meet some medical tourists »


"Our patient concierge was amazing," said Giustina. "He came to the hospital every day, gave us his personal [telephone] number and after my operation, he arranged private tours of India." Just two days post-op, Giustina and her husband, Dino, toured local markets and landmarks including the Presidential Palace and the Taj Mahal.


"I was able to fix my heart and tour India, which is something I thought I'd never do."


Walk through a patient wing at Max Hospital in New Delhi on any given day and you're likely to see people from around the world. In one visit, CNN met patients from the United Kingdom, Nigeria, Jordan, Afghanistan and the United States. They're alike in choosing surgery abroad, but their reasons differ.


Many South Asians and Africans said they travel abroad because they do not have access to care in their homeland.


Some Canadians and Europeans said they chose to travel aboard, despite having national health plans, because they are tired of waiting -- sometimes years -- for treatment.


Patients from the Middle East said they come to India because the technology as well as the staff is more advanced.


For most Americans CNN spoke to, it came down to finding the best value. "If I could have afforded my procedure in the United States, I would have taken it, but that was not my option," Giustina said. "I had to get online and look for a Plan B." Read about hot destinations for medical tourism


The private hospitals in India market themselves as having upscale accommodations, Western-trained surgeons and state-of-the-art medical equipment.


CNN spent time at Max Healthcare in New Delhi and saw operating rooms similar to those in many U.S. hospitals. If fact, Max's neurosurgery room had an inter-operative MRI scanner, which is technology hardly seen at hospitals in the United States.


The lobby had marble floors, a book café, coffee station and a Subway sandwich shop. The patient suites were equipped with flat screen TVs, DVD players and Wi-Fi. This hospital also catered to families traveling together. The suites had adjoining rooms with a kitchenette, coffee maker and a sofa bed.


Max neurosurgeon Dr. Ajaya Jha said the hospital can provide high-quality care at low prices because the staff work hard to cut waste.  Watch Dr. Gupta visit an Indian spice market »


"I've seen hospitals in the U.S. where they open up something costing $10,000 and say, 'Oh it's not working. OK, give me another one.' We would never do that here. Even for 100 rupees (about $2) -- we would say, "Do we need to open this suture? Do we need to open this gauze?' We are very conscious of cost."


Hospital officials negotiate hard to keep costs low for high-tech medical machinery and other supplies, Jha said. "In the U.S. people are making careers out of carrying laptops and documenting things that are not really useful in the long term for the patient."


The salary of a U.S. surgeon is five times that of a surgeon in India. "We [surgeons in India] want to make a profit, but we don't want to profiteer. We don't want squeeze people and I think American industries should also think that way," Jha said.


Critics of medical tourism warn patients to be diligent when researching treatment aboard. "I've found that industry voices tend to crowd out those of us who are more cautious about the legal risks," said Nathan Cortez, assistant law professor at Southern Methodist University, who is conducting a case study investigating what legal recourse patients have outside America.


Patients don't think about their legal vulnerabilities, Cortez said. "Some countries limit patient access to medical records so they can't really learn what happened during the surgery. And a lot of practitioners in other countries just refuse to give you your medical records. So people have to weigh the risk versus benefits."


While most tourism patients from America are uninsured, major U.S. insurance companies are considering providing "medical tourism" coverage to their customers. Several have already launched pilot programs.


"I think what's really important about medical tourism is that you make the choice for what's right for you and what's important to them," said a spokesman for U.S. health insurer WellPoint Inc.


Experts say that every patient considering traveling abroad for surgery should inquire about postoperative care, legal rights and the safety standards and certifications of the hospital. Foreign health care providers should be willing to discuss the procedure and answer question ahead of time.


"What really helped me feel good about the process was that my doctor in the U.S. spoke to the cardiologist in India prior to my trip," said Giustina. "They were so open about everything; I knew I'd be in good hands."


Just weeks from returning from abroad, Giustina says she has only one regret, "I shouldn't have waited so long! I feel like a new person again, no more pain."


I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him!
I think even a bigger one. I still trust Obama..
It is said that M wears the pants at home and I bet that she reminds him every day that she gave up her job for him and the children.
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
Special Potatoes
g
20/20 had a special on E-Bay the other night,
warning about scam sellers - it was actually a repeat though they touted the show as new. On the test buys they ran, all the sellers who scammed them in one way or another had 98% or above feedback. The feedback means nothing, really, as there are lots of ways to remove it - i.e. paying for it to be removed, and also lots of feedback blackmail, where most buyers are too wimpy to leave a negative, as it means they will get one, too. So the feedback system is not valid at all.
I remember a 20/20 special about this...sm
I remember seeing something about this on 20/20 a couple of years back and just remember it's not always the best way to go. Doctors recommend it too fast without looking into other ways. There were women on 20/20 that wished they didn't have it done, can't remember all the reasons. Do tons of research before doing it. Good luck!
I remember seeing a special on these
odd animals many, many years ago. I was probably about 18. I found them quite upsetting, LOL. I have only seen anything about them one time since, and my impression the second time was that they were very small, like mice, instead of the larger rat-like creatures I was picturing the first time.
There are special chews that have
enzymes in them. They are sold along with the toothbrushes and toothpaste at the pet stores. You are using doggy toothpaste when you try to brush them, I assume. Even if you only get a few swipes of that enzyme paste on the teeth and feel like you aren't doing any good, it actually does make a difference, judging by the comments my vet made about my Misha's teeth. We did do it from a young age, but not often, and she would only tolerate a little bit. But she had great teeth for her age.

Another good way to keep plaque down is to use true raw bones and let them gnaw on those. They work pretty well also.

But I do see the most benefit from any attempt at brushing, and also of course when I've gotten them cleaned under anesthesia if they needed something else done.
There is something special about wintertime.

It's hard work getting things prepped for this weather...but when you come inside in at the end of a day--it's a good tired, a satisfied-feeling kinda tired.


Of course that specialness lasts about 48 hours (or at the first slip and fall on the ice) and then it is so not fun anymore!  Anyone down south wanna swap joints, er residences, with me for a few months or so during the winter, you know where to find me! 



Me too! I feel so special! (nm)
x
Thanks - they are running a special
It's for 11 pieces including brushes, video, etc. I'm starting a new job in a couple weeks and if I don't get it by then I'll check out WalMart.  Thanks for the tip.
There is a special place for them
The worst crimes committed are abuse to children and to animals. In the bible it does state that hurting or maiming an innocent animal is one of the worst sins, the first being abuse to children. These are innocent creatures who are here to help us and give us comfort and love. They never ask for anything, are always there for us and never complain. It sickens me to my stomach to hear of abuse to animals. When I was younger I had a dalmatian pup. He was outside one day, fenced in, and got out through a small place in the fence. Someone in our neighborhood saw him, hit him with their car, and left him to die. I was heartbroken and it took me a long time to get over it. I would not like to be the person that will have to stand before God in judgment when it comes it comes to abusing these blessed animals. Only a coward and a bully would commit such an act.
We did not do parties except on special
occasion birthdays, normally just took the kids to see their grandparents as they did want to see them on their birthday. However, it is your tradition and if your in-laws do not want to participate leave it up to them. Invite them and they can choose what to do. Don't change your traditions because they don't "approve."
There's a special collar
I bought mine at Petsmart or Petco. It has spikes on it that grip into the dog's neck. Sounds painful, but it WORKS. And my dog has never yelped, not even once, so I don't think it actually is painful (my dog is a yelper at the slightest amount of discomfort, like trying to wash out his ears).

Anyway, look in the collar aisle at Petco or Petsmart for it. It's around $10-15 and it will make your walks peaceful!
did you plan anything special?
did you plan anything special?
guys depend on us to do all the planning
when it comes to stuff like this

did you plan anything special?
did you plan anything special?
guys depend on us to do all the planning
when it comes to stuff like this

People who don't have trust issues will take advantage of it.
nm
Trust me..it was not easy.. and it honestly took 4 years..
I went back and forth, I kept trying to leave but was scared, had no where to go, no way to earn a living etc..I would just keep coming back. Then, I did decide to go to school. That pretty much ended it. I got through school leaving through threats and how I "ruined" our lives by going backwards i.e returning to school. He knew that if I had no education, then I was stuck with him for surviving, and I think he knew deep down, I was preparing myself to leave. The second I graduated and got a job, I moved "into town"..well, after stalking me and doing the "if I can't have you, then no one can" crap and being terrified he would kill me..I upped and moved away and filed for divorced. There was no turning back.  I moved in with family and he had no idea where that was. Evidently, it calmed down and from that day forward, I did not take his crap. To this day, the man has never found anyone because who wants to live with that alcoholic loser and when he tried to control me after the divorce, I'd tell him to his face to shove off. That was sweet revenge. I had to believe in myself and believe I was worth it.. and I did.. Life is good..I remember him not allowing me to have a credit card, new car or buy anything..not even washclothes..well guess what..this country girl married a millionaire who gives me the world!!!!LOL
Well trust me, you aren't missing a thing! :) nm
,
Hang in there girlfriend. If you feel the trust
is there, then believe in it. Truely hope it works out for you. I have seen amazing turn-arounds in marriages. It can work.
Special recipe for frosting?
I need help with finding a recipe for frosting.  Years ago, I ate some wonderful cookies that had a frosting that was hard on the outside but soft on the inside.  I tried and tried to get the recipe but to no avail.  Can anyone help?
Easter is a really special time too. sm
daughters are a special blessing.
Did you watch special on them on PBS station?
xx
Oprah just had a special on the other woman....
and found it very interesting to hear from these women who had affairs with married men. Only one of the 4 women was still with a married man, while the others ended it. The psychologist on there asked her what was it in her childhood that brought her to this point in her life to feel like she didn't deserve better. You deserve better. Your child deserves better. His wife deserves better. They also said how the men tell you what you need to hear...they know what you need to hear, so he's not real. He could also be saying the same things to another woman at the same time, or maybe not, you never know. Please don't feel sad...get out now and meet the man of your dreams. He's out there waiting for you, but you're not available to him yet. You deserve more. Your child deserves more.
Has anyone bought the special toothbrushes...

Okay, way off the wall and out there.  Have any of you bought the fancy toothbrushes they try to sell you at the dentist's office?  Mine in particular is pushing Rota-dent.  I REALLY want the results, etc., but $120.00?  Is it really any different than the electric spin brush you get off the drugstore shelf? 


 


I'm going in tomorrow to start some extensive and expensive dental work, and I want to take the best care I can, but again, is it worth $120.00 or should I just stop by Walmart on my way home?


They look pretty, I wear them, if I am going somewhere special.
To make them look real, I stole an idea from Marilyn Monroe. I cut the lashes in half and then I use the resulting minilashes and put them starting from mideye to the edge of my eye nearest the ear. Be careful just to put a little glue. Then, you can put eye liner over it. I have very blonde (almost platinum) hair and eyebrows, so it can't be heavy handed. Also if you use the half lashes, you can put a light color like cream under your eye brow arch and on the lid, with a bit of brown in the crease. Blend it together and it will look glamorous yet natural. Only you will know, because it looks like a lot of mascara on the edge, or you are blessed with long eyelashes! Have fun with it. I do.