Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being
Posted By: supported by him. But in the words of wife #2 S on 2008-04-03
In Reply to: Of course he should help and he paid child support because they are his kids (nm) - Carolina
Kids should not expect to college paid for, so hubby should not pay for college for kids with wife#2 since he did not pay for college for kids with wife #1.
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Retirement home/assisted living
Go to one of the retirement homes or the higher class assisted living complexes in your area that has a beauty shop in it and I bet dollars to doughnuts that they can give you what you want as that is how they do it for the ladies in those areas.
I was a kid living in Louisiana, home afterschool, watching
all of a sudden a ticker came across the bottom of the TV that said that Elvis had died. I remember running to the phone and calling my mom and telling her. She had not heard because she was at work. She told her co-workers and they were all crying. My mom really loved Elvis.
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Once ours hit 18, even living at home, I just wanted a call to know where they "might" be goin
s
kids at home
When I began working at home, my children were 7 and 12, and I was also a single ma, but they were old enough to not be watched every single second. At first, I had my computer in my kitchen, then my family room, which the kids were usually in if they were not outside, and I could see my back yard perfectly at either place.
I stopped often, to answer questions, help, make breakfast, lunch, etc., but when I compared my interruptions to the alternative, working at the hospital, my interruptions were worth it, especially during the summer or when they were ill. There is a fine line between letting your children feel that you are not to be bothered during work. You don't want them to ever feel that they cannot come to you with a question or problem. Sure, I remember feeling frustrated and maybe venting when I wish I could have been more patient, and I felt like some days were not near as productive as during the school year when they were in school, but it was worth it to me. Sometimes I even told them not to bother me unless they were bleeding or the house was on fire, but that is not wise.
Most of the time I remained honest with them, telling them that "mommy's gotta finish this report, honey, hold on and when I finish this report, I will talk to you."
I tried to be as proactive as possible, even though I am a huge procrastinator, and I would maybe make sandwiches ahead of time, pack a lunch for them, just like on school days.
I would use my breaks to maybe run them to a friend's house, go pick up a friend or to drop them off at the golf course (of course when they were older and not driving) and then come back home and work, sometimes maybe only an hour until it started raining.
Oh, I should probably tell you though, now they are 19 and 25, and they don't bother me at all anymore......
Do you have kids that were home
from school yesterday? I did and that's why I think today feels like Monday. Although, I haven't had the day you're having. I hope things are better this afternoon. If you have some tea around, try a cup. Sometimes it makes you feel more relaxed. Have a great afternoon!!!
Kids at home while you work? How do you (sm)
make sure they know you are "at work" even though you are right there? I have worked at home in the past but had issues with this. Mine are old enough now to be home while I work (10 & 7), but I would love any ideas of how to make sure they respect my work hours. Any ideas?
PA too and our kids were actually sent home early
due to the heat! We were never sent home for that one. Spent the day at the pool with the kids and now it's time to work.
Would you ever kick your kids out of your home?
Are your kids welcome to stay in your home for as long as they like?
My 15 year old asked if we'd ever kick him out or his older brother. I said they'd always have a home with us as long as they follow our rules.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
She has 2 wonderful kids whom she home schools
They are ages 13 (boy) and 10 (girl). My sister died at age 27 of cancer and left a husband and 8 yo boy. My sister was also 6 months pregnant when they found the cancer and she lost the little girl after going to MD Anderson and all the treatment, and my sister only lived 6 months.
There is such a concern here because of my having kidney cancer and given 6 months to live, but I have been in remission for 4 years now.
My sister had breast cancer, in remission for 5 years.
I am open to any help anyone has, be it good or bad. Thanks.
There's lots of things kids can do at home
all summer that are worthwhile and free. Take them to the library once every week or two and get them reading! Where I lived as a kid it was hot all day, so I read all day and played outside in the evening when it was cooler. It doesn't have to be books, either. It can be magazines, comics, or whatever. Just the 'reading' part is the key. I used to read and re-read old comic books, Life magazines, National Geographics, and books on animals and earth sciences. I also think I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn multiple times each during the summer.
Kids can put on a neighborhood circus (and make some cash by charging admission). They can put on a pet show. We used to have pet shows, haunted houses, dog shows, cat shows, talent contests, bike races and foot races, too, and hurdles contests.
With some scrap wood, hammers, nails, etc., (if they're not too small) they can build things. We all had tree houses in just about every large tree in the neighborhood. My friend built a go-cart, and I built a wooden wagon. I also collected rocks, and used that wagon to haul home my latest acquisitions from around the neighborhood. (Much to my mother's dismay... she apparently didn't have the 'rock-gene' that my siblings and I all seem to carry!) Starting collections of any type (even if it's not rocks) can be a fun summer pastime.
Making mud pies and cookies was fun, as was collecging pollywogs and watching them magically turn into frogs.
A job such as painting a fence (a-la Tom Sawyer) can be a messy but fun experience for kids. Or, creating a mural.
Art projects are fun, too. How about giving each kid a journal to write their private thoughts and dreams in? Or, an older child can be taught the basics of cooking or sewing, which will come in handy some day when they're older. You could also teach hand-sewing, beading, embroidery, etc., and let kids make themselves a T-shirt or tank top, shorts, etc. that is work of wearable art.
Or, how about starting a veggie garden for the kids to take care of? They could also be involved in cooking and eating what they grow.
Even though it seems useless, the down-time in the summer, spent just doing NOTHING, isn't as bad as it appears, and when kids don't have every minute booked up for planned activities, they learn to explore what's interesting to them, and amuse themselves.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
Help! Pushy parents think I work from home and can drive their kids etc
I am constantly being asked to watch people's kids because I work from home. The latest is a friend of my son attending the same camp in another town. The friend I will call Scotty. Scotty has two parents. His father works from home as a computer consultant. My friends and I have called Scotty's dad to work on our computers and he never even returns the call or shows up. Scotty's mom recently asked me if I could drive her son home from them because the dad gets busy and doesn't like to leave clients. I told her that I too am working from home and have to minimize my time in the car. Scotty does not live close to us. I feel like a big meanie but they have pushed me before. Last year our kids were not even in the same camp but the mom called and asked if I would drive and pick up her son every day because i live in the same town as the camp. I was like ??? no way.
They used to drop Scotty off at my house on school holidays. They would drop him off at 7 AM and then once the mom called me at 5 PM and said she wanted to get an oil change and asked me if I could keep scotty until 7:30 PM. I said NO and then she came to pick him up earlier but stayed at my house uninvited until 9:30 when I just said I HAVE TO GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Anyone have clever ways to handle these situations?
Grownups-My Cousin Vinnie, older kids - Home Alone One sm
A Christmas Story is our holiday favorite to watch with little kids and we love when the dogs eat the turkey and they have to go out for Chinese! We have the lamp ornament on our tree.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.
You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
Rainy, cool, dark. Home working with plenty of work. Hubby and kids are sm
picking up toys, taking them to Goodwill. LOVE days like this.
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
My son met his wife somehow
on the internet. They've been married 4 years..Very nice girl... Also know 2 other couples who met online and happy together. susan
Does he have a wife?
Maybe you can talk more calmly with her about it. I would be furious too! But if confronting him you don't know what you may do or say and your daughter doesn't need to lose a friend right now. Dyslexia is not the worst thing that can happen, although right now to her and you it may seem that way.
Have you looked into the disability act laws and getting her some support or into programs for this?
Share the below with your daugher, if you haven't already, it is a list of famous people that had dyslexia; Albert Einstein. Tom Cruise. Thomas Edison. Many others.
http://www.dyslexiamentor.com/famousdyslexics.php
All the best to both of you.
To wife sm
Try some on-line help anonymously for awhile. Just Google recovery or AAonline and you should find some help there. Give him credit and help him. Remove all alcohol from the house, support him and realize it IS a disease, not a flaw in his personality, he inherited this in the gene pool but although there is no cure, it can be turned around with the right support. I know someone who will not admit it and he has lost everything.He thinks beer is not alcohol. So be grateful for the awareness and pay no attention from those who judge. Good luck, it takes a lot of work, it didn't come on overnight but with your help and his higher power, he can do it if he is ready.There is Al-Anon, AA, Adult Children of Alcoholics but beware, some go to these meetings and tell all they hear there. You can decide later if you want the whole community to know. Usually those who judge point the finger, having three pointing back at themselves. It's not always anonymous. Get some professional advice and get rid of all the temptations. You may have to change playmates and playgrounds. You will figure this out as you go along. Only listen to the positive, ignore all who judge, they know not of what they speak, it's a disease. Just treat it as taking the sugar away from the diabetic, same scenario, help but do not enable!
My son and his wife - sm
have been married eleven years and over time developed a pattern for Thanksgiving, at least - they trade off years, one year coming to our house for dinner and her parents' house for dessert, and vice-versa. Of course, she's not a cook and has never been interested in hosting their own holiday dinner. They've always slept over Christmas Eve at our house as we have two more children still in school (had actually, one's not in school anymore but living at home) and shared Christmas morning with us, then go to her parents' house for Christmas dinner. I don't know if that's going to change now that the last of the kids are basically grown now. Unfortunately they aren't able to have kids, but if they did I would encourage them to stay home and we would come to them.
Yes. My son's second wife never
cooked. It was always McD's, Taco Bell, Pizza, etc. She never cleaned either. All she knew how to do was spend the bill money. (She didn't work, BTW).
Now my grandson is on a diet at 15 yo, 195 pounds.Thank heavens, my son woke up and got rid of her.
My mom worked every day and when she came home, made supper and it was always on the table by 5-5:30. If my father was on the 2nd shift, she'd make him a hot meal, put it in a square metal container and I would bicycle it to his work. When I was old enough to use the stove, I would make supper once or twice a night. In the summer, I would clean the house so she would have less to do.
I worked 2 jobs most of my life, but always had time to take my boys to their baseball practice, wrestling practice, and when old enough, to their PT job and pick them up at 10-11:00 when they would get off, went to open house every year to see how they were doing, etc. I also made sure their homework was done (not that boys really bring homework home in those days LOL), had a meal on the table for them every night, never had snacks like chips or pretzels in the house. The only thing they had to drink was water or milk. No soda. BTW, my husband during this time was away from home all week, so it was all left to me.
The parents today are too pressured, as are the kids. Kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. They are 7 going on 70. I think it's time they get back to being normal kids. They need breathing room. I don't know who ever decided that the kids had to be in every sport, every club, every volunteer activity the school has, but it's crazy. Not all kids fit that mold and they shouldn't have to. Plus their grades are expected to be A's and B's, nothing less. Perfection is the norm and no one is perfect.
What's wrong with this picture?
I'll jump down from my soapbox now.
Is he still living?
I heard leopards don’t change their spots.
We have been living in ...
the me me me society where everything is now now now. DH and me cut up credit cards and paid off debt for the last 3-4 years instead of remodeling the house, buying new clothes/cars/toys.
I live in a $60,000 house that many people turned their nose up at because it wasn't an McMansion. Well we are about two years from paying it off without any help from anyone and those that turned their nose up at us are in foreclosure right now.
I had a feeling the stock market was going to crater - just didn't know how bad. I'm doing everything I can to keep my job and make the most of it. Now is not the time to go job-hopping.
Time for folks to live within their means and businesses/corporations need to realize that slow and steady growth isn't bad - its better then the alternative of not even being in business.
Finally I think we need to STOP rescuing this fat cats that make these stupid decisions that bankrupt these companies and put 1000's out of work. Make them return their golden parachutes and live like the common man. Same goes for salaries for actors/actresses and sports figures.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
Talking to the ex-wife
Your boyfriend/husband talks to his ex-wife because he is mature. She means nothing to him. He would be with her, not you, if that was his choice. Don't you have ex-boyfriends? Do you speak when you meet them in the street? Please don't go down this road or you will experience a LOT of pain. You cannot ever "make" someone be faithful to you. Either they are or they are not. Dogs need to be tossed aside because life is too short. Work on your self-esteem. Choking someone to death with your insecurity and jealousy is the quickest way to make your boyfriend/husband say, "Bye-bye." My grown children stay with my husband's ex-wife when they are in her city visiting. We have had her over for Thanksgiving dinner. Was it 100% comfortable? No, but we did it for the children. Everyone has a past when they are over 18. Accept it, don't make it bigger than it is, and enjoy your relationship. That is very good advice.
Your knowing the wife well would be
much more important than you hubby talking to his buddy now and then. She's the one stuck with cleaning, getting a guest room set up and worrying about meals. Some women enjoy that, but many are just too busy to drop everything.
I agree that he should always put his wife first
but my brother was pretty much the same way...family was always an after thought if he thought of them at all and I assure you he is not gay.
To confused wife...
It sounds to me like you've made up your mind that HIS problems are all YOUR fault...they are NOT. The only problems you are responsible for are YOURS. It probably will not matter what you change about you to him. If he's this angry and unstable, he'll ALWAYS find fault with you.
Please don't be naive and think that you can change him...you can't. Only he can do that and he has to want to change his behavior. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and name-calling is by far the most disrespectful thing one person can do to another...especially if the other person is your spouse, the mother of your child.
And your child is being hurt by these outbursts. She would be better off in a broken home than to have to listen to you and your husband screaming and belittling each other all the time. In the end, her self worth will suffer, she'll think she doesn't deserve any better and may actually seek out abusive men when she gets older.
You all need help, even the child. Go to counseling, even if you go alone, but take your daughter with you. It may come to you and your daughter leaving until he agrees to get help. Then if he truly loves you and your family, he will do whatever it takes to make things right. Don't wait around for the abuse to get worse, because inevitably it will escalate. Now is the time to think of you and your daughter first. Your husband is a grown man, he's responsible for him...good luck and God bless...
confused wife
It sounds to me like you are being verbally abused. I went through the exact same thing until I said enough is enough. You are worth more than to be reduced to a *itch. I feel for you, I was in the same situation for 12-1/2 years, everything was my fault. Research the phenomenon of verbal abuse and you will find yourself and your marriage reiterated over and over in the stories you hear. Believe me. You sound just like me and what I went through. You have nothing to lose by just looking into it. Maybe you will find your answer. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that one more day, you are a human being and have God-given rights. I will be praying for you.
I agree about the wife, but...
she knows what side her bread is buttered on! Play the stand by your man, humiliated wife in public means for a much heftier settlement when the divorce proceedings start...not that she doesn't deserve it but come on, if your hubs was going to hookers for almost 10 years you'd be dumb as a post to not suspect it or at least get a hint of it from someone... Then again, they may just have that type of relationship where it is okay with her as long as she has the prestige, power and money that he brings. His daddy is worth 500 million dollars.
At least it is not a bombshell to the wife.
They both admitted their relationships..had counseling and moved on. you know it has been said for years now that good people are afraid to run for office for fear of a skeleton rattling around somewhere. You know an investigative reporter will dig it out.
my hubby did that with his first wife!!
I didn't believe him when he told me that he had only known her for two weeks when he married her! I said to him, "what were you thinking and no, I will not marry you right now"!
The wife will be gone at night
I am still thinking they are going to lock you in the basement for 10 years!
Dear Ms K9's wife
Try as you might, you cannot tell me your husband can approach any and all pitbulls and put them back on their chain- I was not born yesterday and don’t believe that for 1 minute. Tell someone else who does not know better, ok? You have named (except for the doberman) all dogs the police department close to me do not allow to be rescued because of their known aggressive behavior, chows, rotweilers and the pits. Better luck next time, sweetie.
He should consider his wife FIRST, not his stylist.....
nm
As his wife contacted you, you must have had some
contact details. Her son was in jail and instead of helping her, you took their inheritance share, PRETENDING that you do not know their whereabouts?
WOW!
I hope you are not one of those religious freaks, that would really be too much of a hypocrisy!
What the wife says and does is irrelevant
since the agreement was only with the husband. The wife has nothing to do with it.
Yes, shows are something we could do, living
where we do. It's not far to go, maybe 12 miles across town.
And thank you very much. One thing we don't want to do is get Sasha's nose out of joint, LOL.
Your living your dream like never before?
?? That doesn't make sense.
funerals are for the living
nothing done to the body is going to affect whether she 'rests in peace'. Let the mother bury HER dead where SHE wants. She is the legal next of kin.
p.s. her character isn't like too bad if she was a cop so long. don't believe everything the way the media slants it.
You might consider doing the living room
(or whatever the fanciest room is) in same color but with a special border tile worked in to set that room off.
Just a thought.
Living in the country is so...
enjoyable. We have two neighbors and that is about it. One neighbor is across the pond from us and the other neighbor lives back behind a wooded area and we can't hardly see their place unless it is in the winter. I don't think I'd like living right next door to someone else.
Living arrangements
I don't have personal experience, just an opinion. I think you should remain in the community with the best school for her. If you are in an apt. now in that school district, stay. Don't go the mobile home root. Then if you can in a few years, get a condo or townhome in the same area. That way the friends she makes at school now will stay with her as she grows up and she will have continuity and stability. I would cross mobile homes off my list. JMO.
Living in la-la land
I cannot believe in this time that anyone would leave their door open for anyone to enter. It does not seem like you either hear/read the news or know about things that go on around your little world. Why invite danger by opening your door to the world? In my town some children molested by strangers coming into their rooms in the middle of the night- oh by the way, not only their doors left open but some windows not locked of a night. I read a post on here where a man showed up in one persons home through their garage door. My home is just as secure as I can get it. I love and cherish my life, my hubby's and my pets as well. What is someone other than someone you know comes in 1 day- then what? Good luck with a dangerous situation.
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