And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
Posted By: sm on 2006-12-01
In Reply to: I think someone liked the attention - IMO
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
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I think someone liked the attention
The "I'm so appalled" act is just that, an act.
I can't imagine being that needy of male attention beyond high school or college age, but that's what I'm reading into this one.
Most likely it was done for attention, like
everything else she's been doing. That's what you have to do when everybody has already seen your shaved nether-regions, I guess.
She does it for the attention, especially if she's sm
grinning at you afterward. I would just put her in the playpen or in the middle of the livingroom floor where she can't bang into anything or hurt herself and walk away. If she doesn't get a reaction, it won't be fun anymore. Good luck. They can be real stinkers, even at that young age.
He only wants attention
He only wants back what he had before, which was someone taking care of him financially and other ways. His threats of suicide are only to make you feel sorry for him and do what he wants. basically a form of manipulation. A person who truly wants to end his life will not "threaten", but just do it. been there with others in my family. If you "allow" him to manipulate you, you are feeding his problem. Make him stand on his own and either make it or fail. If he fails enough, he will learn to make it on his own. Don't take up his whining. Don't give into his "demands." Don't answer the phone. Don't answer the door. When he can't find someone to feel sorry for him, he will move on to the next target, or try it on his own. He has just never grown up. He has been catered to all his life and wants that to not change. My mother is the same way. You have to be strong. You have to disassociate. It's hard, but "tough love." good luck to you.
Just pay attention
to what he says and does in the future. It may have had harmless intent, but if he really is looking to use you, it will keep showing up in various ways.
I am jealous of you
I am jealous of all of you......
I have 2 of the most standoffish cats on the planet. Lucky is my 3-year-old female that I rescued at 3 weeks of age or so when her mother abandoned her and her sibling. I bottle fed her and everything...most pitiful thing you have ever seen.. You'd think she'd be a little grateful. No, she's not. At least she has stopped biting now that she is more mature. I accidently tripped over her in the dark one night on my way to bed...she raced me upstairs, ran under my bed and bit my foot as I was getting into bed.
Tripp is my almost 1 year old male and he a little more sociable. Right now, he is sleeping on the couch in my office, which is what he usually does in the afternoons. He loves to play, but hates to be handled or petted. He actually ducks when you go to pet him. We've had him since he was a kitten, so no history of abuse. Just needs his space, I guess. I've always had cuddly cats it the past, so these two are a disappointment to me in that department. But I love them anyway.
I'm SO jealous!
I'm in Texas and we are pushing 90 degrees!
jealous
I'm probably the most jealous, insecure woman in the world. No way would my husband be that close to a woman, job or not. I'm ashamed of the fact now, but DH and I had a very long-term affair before we divorced and married each other. He is a bartender and I know exactly how people stray. Has everything to do with both the person and the environment. Put anyone in a conducive environment and see what happens. No one is immune. If people think so, they are fooling themselves. I'm not a kid anymore - 52 - talking from experience. Blast away, ladies - like I said, I'm ashamed now, but still remember vividly!
I'm jealous!
Here in the south, we can't even get rain, much less snow! Enjoy some for me...I'm jealous...
I AM SO JEALOUS!!!! nm
nm
I'm Jealous!!!!!
x
Sorry, that was mean. I'm just jealous
mm
ya really think the cashiers even PAY ATTENTION????
She's getting waaaay too much attention
I heard she was offered a half million dollar contract to be a spokesperson for an adult DVD company.
THANK YOU for bringing that to my attention
I totally agree, and I signed the petition. I wish they would pass a similar bill about childbirth. Some women can only stay in the hospital 24 hours after their child is born (or it may be 24 hours total, I'm not sure). Or at least that's all their insurance will pay for, if it is a healthy birth with no complications.
I am currently fighting with my HMO about a medication that I desperately need. At the moment I am buying it through a "Canadian pharmacy" (based in New York state) and it is sent to me from Mumbai, India. In the U.S., the medication costs $10.00 a pill!!! Through this pharmacy, I get it for $1.77 a pill. But it is still more than twice what my normal co-pay would be if the $#@%#$ HMO would cover it.
So any kind of insurance reform bills that ANYONE knows about, PLEASE pass the info along. Thanks!
This sounds more like a way to get attention.
If he's feeling like he wants to do things himself, then let him. I think if you feed into it then that would make him do it more. I would simply say to him "Okay, if you're not going to be nice, then Mommy is leaving the room now". Tell him to let you know when he can be nice and you'll come back to play or show him things. He does probably know this behavior causes quite a stir with you. He'll most likely grow out of it though. I think all kids have temper tantrums. It is part of growing up. Some adults even still to this day throw temper tantrums, so go figure! I'm sure things will work themselves out.
P/S: Reward him for good behavior and time out or not giving him attention for bad behavior. Put a chart on the refrigerator so that he can keep track himself when he is nice and watch how fast he wants to be nice so he can put the sticker on the chart or what have you!
Sounds like he got a LOT of attention
x
I'll bet if you pay attention
you will discover some fears. Some you might not recognize as fear but insecurities are fears and everyone has some.
I think that attention-seeker should definitely
give her poor mom a break, and quit sponging off her. Then she could hire a couple Super-nannies to take care of all those kids, and pay her own medical bills for them, instead of us taxpayers.
I think she'd be an excellent porn-star. She's halfway there already.
Jealous of what? Because she can drive
NM
I'm jealous, I wish I had such an account
as a secret one so I could sock away some extra $$ !!!
Sounds like he is jealous (sm)
It sounds like he is craving your attention and just jealous of the younger sister to me. I think it is normal for kids their age to talk like that. I can't even tell you how many times my cousins and I and my sister and I said that about each other and there was anywhere from 1-5 years age difference. It was almost always over someone getting more attention and/or praise or something like that.
Aw - Poor Lil Ole You - Jealous, huh? (nm)
x
jealous...congrats wish it were me
Keep me posted...I want to know everything.
People get jealous sm
If you are doing well, I find people, especially other women, get jealous and mean. I literally knocked myself silly for a neighbor, I cannot tell you how many things I have gone overboard for her because the family was going through tough times. I even lost valuable time working and had to pull all nighters. She called me one day and said, "We can't all be you up in your office."Various other things were said that cut me to the core. I helped her run a fund raiser when she obviously did not know how to do it and it was a huge success and she took all the credit (at church). I was a true friend to her and gave my all. A plain thank you note or word would have done. The worst scenario was when I went in for surgery on my breast and she never called to see how I was. I called her and told her my biopsy was non-cancerous as the first came back DCIS, and she just said, "hmmm" as if "who cares." I'm done with false friends. From now on I only depend on myself or my DH, hurt too many times. She also told me she does not make thousands of dollars at a time, well, you have to work your buttocks off and by the time Uncle Sam and all the rest get paid, it's not always thousands. They are jealous because we are entrepeneurs in our own right, I guess. If they only knew - but they don't!
and I have to confess, I am a little bit jealous of them.
I think it would be so much easier to live with a woman than a man. No more History Channel or freakin Dirty Jobs!
People should pay attention and put posts on
nm
Media and attention seekers...sm
There is nothing wrong with "children today" anymore than children of any other day. Half the problem is the media and all the attention they are giving this and other similar things of this nature. The media are reporting every shooting, every violent act they can get their hands on and grouping them together because people watch this crap. Bad things happen every day and will continue to happen. It's just part of life. The more media attention things like this get, the more people wanting attention will copy it.
Pay attention to post above hypothyroid too
because I, after taking Synthroid for years and having the excessive hair loss among other things, came to this board and was told about Armour and I went to my physician and told him that was what I wanted and got onto that. The itching immediately went away, the coldness stays with me as soon as the temperature dips, have cold extremities always in the winter months and as I said before, still have moments of absolute exhausation where I take time to just recline and spend about 30 minutes there. I told my daughter about my diagnosis but could not find on my maternal side a previous diagnosis. Asking my father, he was unable to give me any history on his side so I figured we just ought to do a DNA. Just kidding. Good luck!
They need it all - Love, attention and Discipline (sm)
Not saying my two will never do anything wrong - they are 10 and 7 - but I shower them with love and attention - However, they know what lines not to cross too. However in the case above, it just sounds like pure out neglect -my 10 year old would not be somewhere without me knowing it to begin with (nor when he is 12 for that matter)and it would not even cross his mind to do something like that. I would think he had gone totally insane!
Could be an attention/jealously thing too - sm
Why did dad take both kids to the game? Yeah its a lot harder with a little one but he needs to learn how to act when out in public too. We started taking ours out to dinner with us at a young age. They know how to act in a resturant and behave because of it. As for his comment on how hard can it be, this Saturday I'd dump the 3-y/o on him and go out for the entire day and see how he copes. My 2 (girls) have always been pretty good, they have had their moments and I have used time-outs, spanking, taking away treats/toys, etc. But are you right on target ignoring it, just walk away and let him scream, if he makes a mess have him (help) clean it up after he is done wailing. As it maybe being a cry for more of your attention or your husbands, are you working more than usual right now, do you spend any 1:1 time with him for say 20-30 minutes a day? If he doesn't get much of that then try making some time for him and get your DH to take him somewhere too just the 2 of them (granted if he is anything like my DH he never has the kids.....mine just started doing stuff with them on his own about 2 years ago when they were 5 and 7, so I get the rare 3 hours to myself on Saturday if he takes them to the movies or bowling). But your DH definitely needs to get a clue.
he wants your attention; take an hour and play with him
nm
Sounds like she is trying to get attention to me and it is working. sm
Can you not call and speak to the counselor yourself rather than your son? I couldn't confront the mother either but the counselor could if she saw it fit.
But look at all the attention you get every time you post about it. sm
As Dr. Phil would say, you're getting something out of this drama. You're getting all kinds of attention and pity. You spend a lot of time recounting all the details of every encounter on here.
I think lots of times it is the 1 you don't pay attention to
How about the 17 year old in Germany that killed so many today. He was an average student, blended in, no problems before in his life and suddenly goes on a rampage, goes back to his old high school and shoots at random. I probably would be taking a 5 years old's comment like this with a grain of salt knowing the age. I would let it go this time but if it continued then I would think who would be the most objective, the parents, someone at school and that is who I would approach. The parents might even be worse than this kid. I have seen really bad kid before and what do you know, the parent just as bad.
Mexico is jealous of Miss USA
Speaking of bilingual signs....call any customer service number, including Social Security, and what do you hear.
I say press 1 for English, otherwise hang up!!!
Not so much jealous, as they just can't get a handle on why things
m
I have a MIL who was jealous of any time I spent - sm
with my family. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on her side, and just made me angry for the most part. You don't sound anything like my MIL though but it sounds like you did not push the issue and fight for the right to see your grandchildren. In my situation, I married 1 of 2 sons. The other has never married or had any children. We have the only grandchildren for my MIL. She was manic that we have kids though she was vastly disappointed when we had girls and has remarked on this several times in the past. It is true we trusted my mom over her in terms of childcare, etc. though my mom rarely watched the kids as she lived 4 hours away. I did visit my mom at least 4-6 x a year, but I would drop in and visit my MIL and my FIL almost every time as I literally drove right by their house on the way up to my parents. My DH rarely calls his parents, I usually call his mom once a week and chat for a while. She used to never call but lately has taken to calling every 2 weeks or so. We also used to see his parents at least once a month for at least 5 years (now it is every 6-8 weeks), day visits, while my parents only saw the kids 4-6 x a year, though I would stay anywhere from 2-5 nights when I visited. This where the jealously came into play. I was/am very close to my parents and my brothers, much like your DIL I suspect. But I was exceptionally close to my mom, when she died almost 3 years ago my world fell apart. But my MIL was always jealous of my relationship with my mom, it drove her nuts I think. My DH tried to explain to her how close were were but she just could not understand and it caused her (and me) many problems. I would catch such grief from his family when I told them I was going to see my parents/friends, it was as if they wished I did not have a family. Holidays were horrible though we did do an alternating schedule though she would argue with me about that. Things a lot different now as she now gets to be the only grandma, which I am sure she loves. My stepmother is actually better with the kids though and has a great time with them, though I will never be close to her either. My in-laws get just about all the holidays now since my mom is gone and my stepmom wants to be with her kids not her husbands, so I don't get so see my family much anymore, maybe 2 x a year. Much more complicated these days, though we still don't let them (my in-laws) have the kids as they lack in common sense bigtime when it comes to what is safe and smart for my kids. I am not saying that is the case with you as I don't know your particulars of course. But it sounds like you just gave up. I would not try buying your son's love as it sounds like you did try. I know my in-laws tried though we were up front with them with one money gift they gave us that enabled us to pay off our truck in 1 year instead of 4, that it would not buy them weekends with the kids, etc. We told them that if there were strings we did not want the money. Money does not buy love as the Beatles said, very true. I would write back your granddaughter and say you would like to have a new beginning with her and the past is over and done with , and if she ever does want to know the real story, tell her. As for your son, have you even called him and invited him to your new home, it does not sound like it. Sounds like you expect a lot and are upset because they don't do the same for you as they do for the daughter's parents. The daughter controls the kids for the most part (as do most women) so it is to be expected that her family gets their "favor" more. You need to step up and be assertive. My in-laws do do most of the visitings here (we have actually never invited them here, they just call us and say that they are coming down on such and such a day, kind of aggravating), we rarely go up there as my DH just hates going there and really does not like his parents due to a bad upbringing. They really did a number on him. Does your son have any anamosity towards you? Did something bad happen in the past? You are long overdue for a long talk with him though. But I work hard to keep the lines open with them as much as I don't like doing it, I do it. My kids love them and I would never deprive them of that. I hope you take the first step and write to your granddaughter again, and call you son. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. Good luck.
How do you handle being jealous of stepkids?
Big problem, girls! I have a stepdaughter that I am so jealous of I cannot see straight most of the time when she is here. The child is 9 years old and has her daddy so wrapped up that when she is here I am just pushed aside completely. He does not see it, thinks I am just overreacting and is even to the point of starting to take her and spend his visitation time somewhere else and not bring her around me.
I do not begrudge her getting her daddy's attention... I just feel that I should be involved more. If they are watching a movie, he loves on her and holds her while I am pushed over to the recliner by myself, when its time to go to bed, I go to bed alone while he sleeps with her and if I want him in the bed with me, I have to wait until she goes to sleep and then go wake him up and ask him to come to bed with me. We cannot close our door when she is here because she will get upset and start banging on it and crying and he will run right out to her (even if we are in the middle of a conversation), we cannot sit together on the bed and watch TV even if she is in her room by herself because as soon as she knows he is in the room with me she starts hollering for him and he runs to her and then proceeds to crawl up in her bed and watch TV with her. If they are going somewhere it is usually just the two of them and I am not invited because they need to spend some time together.
Granted, he does not get her on a regular basis (his fault, not mine) and he wants her to know that he loves her, but why can't he see that I should be included too? He wants me to love her and spend time with her and do things with her (especially when there is a football game on he wants to watch, or somewhere he wants to run with the guys for a little while), but then he makes it where I don't want to because once he is ready for her back, I am just pushed aside.
She calls me "She", not my name; she does not acknowledge me when she comes in the door until he forces her to speak to me; after our living together since she was 4 years old she gets very upset and says that I am not her daddy's girlfriend and that I am just a "friend" and she tells everybody that. I feel like he enforces that idea when he pushes me aside and he says I am just being ridiculous and selfish by wanting him to spend more time with me when she is here. I don't even ask him to forego time with her, I just want him to make some time for me (maybe give her a bedtime and have grownup time with me after she is asleep even?).
Am I just ridiculous as he says, or am I right in feeling the way I do? Help, please...
Jealous is not the correct word here
Not a jealous bone in my body. Reading what was said under mine, like no one ever had sex, OMG, victorian like posts to this one where it seems okay to join in and tell how often you indulge. Some joker even saying it should be banned. For what I have no idea. I did not cross any lines and now this. Like one who answered said, they had seen much worse on these postings and so have I. My life is so rich not enough time to be jealous of anyone or anything.
Don't be jealous of those who are thin...most CAN do something about their weight if they tried.
NM
yup - back and CRAVING attention, as usual...n/m
When did parents stop paying attention?
I'm nearly done raising my kids, and they're good kids. In addition, I've been a boy scout leader for 12 years, so often I'm around a lot of really good kids who have parents who care. Tonight I was helping out a cub scout meeting with a bunch of bright-eyed, energetic cubs. Two of our older boys, 12-year-olds from the boy scout troop were also helping out. At one point, the kids all went outside with the den leader and another parent to do an activity. This was around 7:30 p.m. and it was dark outside. One of the boy scouts came back inside to get me. He wanted to let me know that they had to move the cubbies away from some "bigger" kids outside. Turns out, there were some 9th graders hanging out at the back of the school building where we meet. They were sitting near the playground, smoking and filling an empty 2-liter soda bottle with smoke, making smoke rings. They weren't particularly noisy, but their language was atrocious. Obviously, we didn't want that example near the little ones.
So I walked over and said to them in a calm voice, "Hey folks, I'm bringing some 2nd graders around here, and I'd like for you to move off the property." They just looked at me with an "I-hate-the-world" look, rolled their eyes and said, "Yeah, sure." Of course, there was no movement. I say, "I've asked you nicely once. You move now. You don't get another warning." One of our scout dads started heading over at that point. He's a big man about 300 pounds. These kids, two boys and a girl, started spewing language you wouldn't want a longshoreman to hear. I'm no prude, and I've done less than bright things as a teenager, and I've paid my dues working with some troubled kids. I wasn't shocked by the language, though, I didn't like it at all.
I did, at one point, say to them, "Look, can you do this at home?" The girl's reply was, "Yeah, my parents aren't old."
That one actually made me laugh. I said to her, "Well, if it's ok to do this at home, then that's a good place to be. You can't be here." She started screeching about how adults just don't show respect to her, and I laughed and said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, really sorry. Because that means you don't understand that you are being treated just the way you are asking me to treat you. In fact, I'm being way more patient than I need to be." I know she didn't understand. Nothing was out of bounds with these kids. The other adult with me made a remark to them about how little he thought of their parents because of their behavior. One overly-brave kid said that his parents were fantastic and let him do whatever he wanted. Yeah. That was pretty obvious. He told us we shouldn't be disrespecting his parents. I told him that I would never want to do that. Would he, therefore, please go home, tell his parents what happened and send them back down to me. I'd be there for the next 30 minutes. No one showed of, of course.
What gets me isn't so much the smoking, the lack of concern about the example they set for the little children nearby, or the language. Certainly, all of that was awful. But the big problem was the complete lack of respect they have for anyone else, especially adults. And as they behaved like obnoxious brats, they preached about how they should be treated with respect! I hear this over and over form kids. If I can get them to actually have a decent dialogue, I usually ask the kids to define respect. They generally give me a correct definition, but that's not what they are asking for. What they really mean when they say that adults don't respect them is, "You won't let me do what I want to do."
So when did parents stop teaching kids these basic rules of conduct, and when did parents forget to really teach children about respect for others and respect for themselves? I'd be absolutely sure the world was going to Hades in a handbasket if it weren't for the really wonderful kids I work with each week. "My" boy scouts are great kids!
Unfortunately, the 12-year-old boy scout who called my attention to the loitering kids saw most of the exchange above. But later he came to me and said, "You know what? Now I know why you are constantly on top of us about our language and our behavior at scouts."
"Really? Why's that?"
"Those kids don't even realize that what they were doing was so awful. They think they have a right to argue and yell and curse. They do it all the time at school, so they think it's o.k. If you were to let us do that all the time, we'd think it was o.k., too."
Now there's a kid who will go far! And it was one of my payoff moments in scouts!
Attention: Anon....website for stepmoms
Anon,
I read your post about your stepson. I just wanted to let you know that I belong to a wonderful website that allows stepmoms to talk about their issues, give advice, share positives thoughts, vent, etc. I have learned a lot from the wonderful ladies on there. Here is the website if your are interested.
www.stepsforstepmothers.com
male
I have not seen a female yet - the males come to my porch and eat .. mostly on days like today when it is cold and snowy. . I love to see them.
It's a male...sm
I have a big orange tabby right now who is a male and I had one about 15 years ago, who was also a male. BTW, the mother of this litter is a calico and I have a female calico in the house.
I'm jealous that you have garden food ready now...sm
Good luck keeping the critters out so you can eat it all yourself!
I think it's rude (and they're jealous) if they tell you to cut your hair due to age
If your husband likes it, and you like it, who cares what anyone else thinks!
I wish my mom (age 75) would let hers grow a little. She wants it cut really short all the time and I think it looks awful.
Also, your ears never stop growing, the older you get the larger they get, so why not keep them covered? LOL
I did want to show you guys my mom's FIVE dogs..I'm a little jealous of them..sm
They are so spoiled, as you can see....She doesn't have time to MT because she has to watch them all day long!
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
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