Also, his FRIEND would help for $200
Posted By: nm on 2008-09-02
In Reply to: Lack of help from future son-in-law - Susan
It sounds like he is not charging you, but he is going to need help and his FRIEND wants compensation. I mean, for someone that doesn't know you personally, to help for only $200, I wouldn't be complaining. Also, if your daughter knows you don't like him, most likely he knows you don't like him. He isn't going to jump at the snap of your fingers to help you if he knows you don't like him. I am sure he will set the furniture where you want it, but he isn't going to unpack all of your things and keep moving furniture around so in other words, you better know where it is going before he gets there. I have moved many times and I have had the same experiences. I don't expect someone to help me design my house for me. Just be appreciative that he said he would help because he could have just said he was too busy PERIOD.
If I were you, I would stop being a meddling mother-in-law and let your daughter have a good marriage with this man if she loves him, or you may be a contributing reason they divorce. Let your daughter be happy! I wouldn't say anything to your daughter if I were you.
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a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
No, he is not..I have a friend...
coming to feed the cats (live in the country, have 8 outside cats!) and 3 inside cats. I feel bad making her come and mix food for him...we live 25 miles from town. A vet told me that he will either eat or just drink water and would be okay...but I will worry about him! I have been cooking extra chicken, turkey, etc. for him..my husband says he is spoiled!
I had a friend who had those and
apparently they just observe them. Maybe you should get a second opinion if you are having pain. Hope you feel better. 
too bad- my best friend
has 'the gift.' That is about the only way I know to put it. She cleans my house for me and she can do in an hour and a half what it would take me all day if not two days to do. And it just looks so clean and bright and shiny when she is done!! LOL I mean, there is clean and then there is CLEAN!! And when she folds my laundry I don't even need to iron it later! We have the best deal worked out- she has one of my vehicles on a sort of 'permanent loan' and I pay the insurance on it and I also try to pay her a little extra here and there, and she comes over and helps me keep my house clean and helps me stay on top of my bills. I have a pretty bad case of ADD.
If you were in this area I would maybe lend her to you for a while, LOL. I know she would like to find just one or two 'regulars' that she could clean for to make a little extra money on the side.
Friend
If she is really a good friend, stick with her. REAL friends love you warts and all. If her behavior is causing you true anguish and she is an acquaintance... go your separate ways. Money comes and goes -- true friends don't.
Lilly
My friend's SON. not MOM!
Sorry for the typo. I am a BAT brain today!
Friend? Some friend! sm
Yes you should be mad, but only at yourself. Giving $$ once I can see. Maybe twice. You have been used by this 'friend'. Doesn't matter how nice you think she is, you have found out otherwise. You are out $$ which you generously gave in thinking it was being used to help her out, yet she has taken advantage of you and therefore, that speaks reams about her character, or lack thereof. I would be disappointed in her and mad at myself for falling for her sob story. I'd tell her exactly how I felt from the heart and would end the friendship since it was based on lies. She has the characteristics of a con woman. Time to cut the losses and move on...and learn!
friend
If it is something that is opening her up to being hurt in anyway most defintely i would tell them. It is their choice then to decide what to do. You know how some parents really shouldn't be parents and others are great parents!
friend?
I actually had to call a parent before. My daughter had asked ex-friend to stop writing things about her in her online diary which she did for a while. When it happened again, with a statement to the effect of you asked me to stop writing about you, too bad!, I called the mother and had a little chat. Never happened again. In this case, she actually used my daughter's name so I brought up the fact that it was libel. Print out the bulletin to show parents if you have to.
Friend
I would want to know if it were my daughter. It might get complicated when you first tell them and could cause problems but in the long run you may very well be saving her life. Please don't hesitate to tell the parents.
been where you are, my friend -
I am so sorry. I know this is hard, but here is an idea to try. Have your vet get you some Buprenex to administer at home. It is a very small amount of liquid you give via syringe inserted between her cheek and her teeth. You shoot it into the mouth. Takes less than a second and is painless. It is absorbed nearly instantly. It also causes far fewer side effects than most pain killers. This has worked like a charm when my cats had to have teeth pulled, for one that had all its teeth pulled due to severe stomatitis, and one who had oral cancer in his jaw. Try baby food (the meat types) and AD canned mixed with Pedialite to get food in her and keep her hydrated. You will know when it *is time* to let her go, but please give these things a try and let us know how it goes! My best to you.
Thank you - about my friend (sm)
She was a Christian and throughout her illness she asked for prayers for God's will to be done, not for her healing (although many of us still prayed for her healing). Many of the people posting on here blowing the horn about what great Christians are, are not acting the way true Christians should. I will admit to everyone that I am confused. I can't answer the questions about the suffering that goes on. I am not going to say that those people suffering just didn't have enough faith. The fact is you are not going to get what you want just because you pray for it. You might and you might not. I still believe, but many things in the world still don't make sense to me. I think somewhere along the way, we have gotten the message confused. I posted a link above about some little children who I think have it right.
A friend of a friend has had it done - sm
She did it about a year ago and has lost over 100 pounds but recently starting having severe problems. They ended up having to take them out as she was unable to eat at all basically; nauseous, constant vomiting, etc. She feels much better now though. Not sure of the details but that is the basic gist of it for her.
I'd be mad...no one else is her friend, so why should you be? (sm)
No reason for you to put up with her any more than anyone else does. She's just a snob - maybe if everyone ignores her for a while she will get the hint!
Friend?
Ever hear of a toxic relationship? Sometimes they are terribly hard to break, but you will be much better off if you cool it with her for a while, just see her when you absolutely have to.
I have a friend that did this went from Bob to Rob - sm
I just had a hard time switching to the new name as I had known him for years as "Bob". To him it was more an acknowledgement of his coming out as gay I think. I could care less that he was gay (and had known for a long time before he "came out") but he got mad that I would not call him Rob and so cut off all contact (we are on opposite coasts now, and then, so it is not a big deal either way). Upsetting to lose a friend over something so stoopid, we were both wrong I'd say, I should have tried harder and he should have cut me some slack as I had been a good friend for years. ---This guy's family you mention probably has the same problem, they know him as "Michael"; he should cut them some slack as that is what they are used to. My brother is named Mike, and we all call him Mike, my SIL is the only one who calls him Michael (he has never asked us to call him Michael though). I think he should just learn to live with it and use his new name with new friends and leave his family alone.
I have a friend like that too, SM
She does have a chronic medical condition, but is doing very well. She exercises with a personal trainer several days a week, takes long walks every day, and recently helped her stepdaughter remodel her home! However, she has a handicapped sticker (she brags about never having to walk very far in the winter) and not only that, is on SS disability. She hasn't worked in several years. Oh -- and if her DH or one of her teenagers runs errands, they take her van so they can get the close spots too. :(
And yeah, maybe I'm being judgemental too, but I agree with you 100%.
friend...
You know I guess some people are different but if someone pays $1000 for something I AM NOT asking to borrow it. I don't like borrowing other people's things. If I break it I feel it is my responsibility to replace it. So I just don't. Some people have no problem with it.
Friend
My good friend had a baby 8 days ago. Beautiful baby boy! Well her husband took off work 2 weeks to spend time with the baby. Her mother also lives with them and helps her too. Her mom also took off a week. Well I am friends with her mom also. We talk on the phone too. I thought I would not call and bother my friend until her husband went back to work. She won't talk on the phone if her husband is home. I know, don't ask. They don't want to take away from time with each other from what I understand. I personally do talk on the phone when my husband is home. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Anyway me and my friend always talked on the phone before the baby was born almost every day. Unless her husband was off work. Well since she has had the baby and her husband went back to work, she just has withdrawn herself. Doesn't want to talk to anyone. Made the comment to her mom that she doesn't want any company. Her mom called yesterday and I knew my friends husband was working so I told her mom tell her to call me later when she gets a chance. The baby sleeps alot so I figured she would. But she didn't. I guess I am just confused. I never went through that. I wanted to talk to friends. After a few days of recooperating I wanted friends to see my baby and all. But I don't understand her. I know every one is different and I just have to respect her wishes but I as well as another friend of hers is confused. I should also mention her baby was born with clubbed feet. She has really been upset about this and asked me in the hospital not to tell anyone. How can this be hidden when the baby will wear casts for a while? I am wondering does this sound like postpartum depression?
friend...
That is why I haven't went. I am respecting wishes. I did not say I was going to go by unannounced. I am honoring her wishes so therefore I am being a real friend. I considered sending a card though.
No, I only had a best friend
back when I was about 12 or 13. I open up to people and think I can trust them and just when I do they turn on me. I don't trust people anymore, been hurt to many times. I see this all the time where I hear ladies talking and hanging out shopping and having a nice time and wish I had that with a friend.
best friend
I have not had a best girlfriend since college. . My fiance is my best friend now. . I like the idea of having a best friend but I think I am not trusting enough. . My daughter has had a best friend since she was 13 - she is 23 now - and I really think they will continue their friendship - I hope so. . I think it is a good thing, just doesn't seem like it is going to happen for me.
I like your friend. . .
xx
Okay, I think you are my new best friend LOL
I can't believe she is going to die! I can, cause she's way too nice for a soap, but I really like her and want her and Vicki to be friends again. Oh, how that death will put Vicki into a tail spin. She's going to feel so horrible for how she treated her. This will definitely push Nikki and Victor back together again too I think. Wonder if Victoria will take over the art gallery?! Wow, lots to think about.
Yes, Heather was going through Ji Min's belongings and found a picture of him with Walter. Paul just saw it as she asked him for help on the Ji Min thing. (not sure, you may already know all of this). Anyway, Paul asked for the complete photo as it was cropped and I'm sure David will be in it. Then all of this will go down in a hurry with the Nikki thing. Wondering if I should watch today's or tape it and watch it WITH Monday's episode, cause I know it will be a cliff hanger today.
Thanks for the website, I will have to check it out.
I have an old friend--or ex-friend really...
I let something stupid, the details of which I really cannot even remember fully get in the way of our friendship and I miss her terribly. I realize now that it was stupid and that one little let down - or big let down, for that matter - is not bigger than all the times that she was there for me. I was selfish and stupid and not as understanding as I should have been of where her life was at that point in time. Sometimes, I think that taking the back burner is what we need to do to be good friends. I wish that I had been older and a little more understanding when this little (should have been little, anyway) fight happened. I might still have my friend.
This is where my best friend went sm
http://www.denture.com/
She has had them under a month and LOVES THEM. She has been talking properly since day 1.
Best friend
I still keep in contact with my best friend from high school, although not as much as I would like. Her son is my godson. We laugh about the fact that she just became a grandmother (has a 21 and 24 year old) and I have a 15 year old and a 5 year old.
Tell us about your best friend
My best friend is Dawn. We met in first grade - well, I was in 1st, she was in 2nd, and our mothers walked us to school.
We are very very different, but she is the closest thing I have to a sister. She is beautiful, and very "waspy" looking. She is also quite conservative, and we argue politics but as soon as we finish screaming at each other, we laugh. In fact, no one except Dawn and my brother make me laugh uncontrollably.
She has a rough life. She married someone older, who also has a heart condition, he had his first open heart surgery when he was 19. They have 2 kids, and live in a beautiful 5,000 sq. foot home in NJ. Dawn is the sole breadwinner, cause her DH is disabled. They have 2 young teenaged kids. Dawn is a realtor. Aside from being the sole earner, her husband cannot drive, so she has to be everything - her life is not easy.
We can talk to each other about anything, and are always there for each other.
My best friend
My best friend is Betty. We didn't grow up together but met when hubby and I moved here in 1962. She and her family had moved here in 1955. She has 3 boys and the older 2 are the same age as my 2 daughters. I have 1 brother, who is nearly 6 years younger than me, so Betty has been the sister I never had. There's nothing we can't talk about and agree on just about everything. We see each other several times a week and talk on the phone everyday. There's nothing we wouldn't do for each other. We have complete trust in each other and know that things told in confidence will go no further. There's not much we enjoy more than an all day shopping trip to the larger town an hour's drive from here. Through the years, our families have vacationed together many times. Our DH's are good friends and have enjoyed many fishing trips together with several other guys. I'm interested in everything that's happening with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchild, just as she is in mine. We are truly like family, not just friends. I don't know what I would do without her friendship and I feel truly blessed to have her in my life!
My best friend is the best ever
Lullabee - I love her. We met in the Army together and became instant friends. When I couldn't do the running in basic training she was right there with me dragging me over the finish line. When I was homesick she was right there hugging me and comforting me like a sister and I was there for her too. When she had to stay up for 24-hour duty, I would stay up with her keeping her company (and awake). People who didn't know us even would ask us if we were sisters. In AIT we both paced ourselves so we would graduate at the same time. Unfortunately we couldn't get stationed together. She eventually went her way and I went mine but we've stayed in touch all this time and visit when we can. When my mom died I received 4 cards (blast all those other inconsiderate people I thought were friends). And 2 of the cards were from her. Although we haven't written to each other in over a year when we do it's like we never stopped writing - just get busy in our lives. When I talk to we laugh for long periods so hard that we end up crying cos it hurts too much. We are like sisters. - Okay, I really have to write to her now.
I had a friend like this
We thought she was great for years. About the same thing went down except we never hired her to do anything. She just went nuts. It got to the point that ignoring her or telling her to be gone didn't work. We sent her a certified letter stating that any further contact from her of any kind would be considered harassment and reported to the police as such. She finally stopped. She had gone so far as to damage our cars.
I have a friend like you
She has been an enabler to her sons all their lives. She is now about 65 and her sons both have treated her like dirt, calling her names, cursing her out. It does not change, never has for her and really will not for you either. You can either choose to live your life like that and be miserable or just let them be on their own. Personally I would not put up with that but some people for some reason just like to be beaten down.
Are you saying you moved to help a friend....sm
and are miserable because of the uncontrolled kids and revolving doors of people coming/going all day? Then get another place to move out and get some peace & quiet.
No theme - just friend getting together
NM
I had a friend who was recently
selling his house and buying another one who stored some things in a storage facility. He opted not to get the insurance on it. It got broken into and his things stolen. He thought it was an inside job since it happened not too long after he rented the place and no other units were broken into.
You sign a contract though usually when you get a rental unit. I bet you somewhere on that contract it stated they are not liable. That is why they have the insurance you can purchase. Kind of a different scenario. Plus, if they had stored them properly and then they were stolen, no, it wouldn’t be their fault at all. There are situations where some things are out of people’s hands. They acted negligently though.
Whether the husband should have made a better decision is really beyond the point. They both knew that storing them near the street could mean them getting stolen and they did it anyways, but they didn't put their quads there.
That is my point, yeah the husband should have made a better decision, without a doubt, but they completely had no regard for her property, but did for their own property. I think that is pretty crappy.
A friend sent them to me in an email....sm
and somehow was able to get the original shots with nothing blacked out. OOPS, she definitely did it again! In a big nasty way. Ewww. LOL
maybe also he and his g/friend have kids?....
I have been her friend for over 8 years. I truly think there comes a
point where you can no longer be friends. Because it is ALL ONE SIDED.
Nicky? Some old friend, can't even get her name right? lol
x
My sister and a friend of hers both did it.
After having 2 kids in her 20s, she had her 3rd at around 40. Then she got pregnant again, and miscarried. The miscarriage rate is higher than for younger women. Also, my sister wasn't exercising a lot, and has very loose ligaments anyway, and it was much more uncomfortable to carry a baby. Didn't help that it was a big baby, of course. But that child is 7 now, and she has a great life, just a tad spoiled by her parents who now have more money, and her now-retired grandparents, LOL.
My friend and I were just talking about that
I was over watching AI with her and she mentioned the same thing without even actually knowing about it. It was just a guess on her part.
It seems normal to me. I had a friend
who went to a therapist for years, and I truly got the impression he had her continue to come because she was so entertaining with her stories.
What is more important than style is whether she is helping you. Is your concern that you don't feel you are making progress? Is she having you try new things or otherwise work on your issues? Or is she just having you talk and nothing else?
The only therapy I've had was biofeedback training, which was very helpful for me because it taught me a skill, plus I could talk to the tech like a therapist. She definitely made me feel better about things.
'mouthing off' my friend ...
is a) my right, and b) what patriots like myself do (in part) to 'reach our goal(s)' of stopping government lies and fake wars.
If you did your homework, you'd know my 'opinions' are based in fact - and you'd join me in denouncing how our young men and women are being shipped off to die for rich men's lies...
About that bet of yours? You lose! As far as constructive acts go? I've spent many of the last several years educating myself about our government, and the current corrupt administration...though they are pretty much all the same...
I invite you do to the same.
I had a friend with the same problem
she was Chinese and from what I am told it is sort of a cultural thing, but she was treated like crap because she was the girl. And yet she was the only one who was available to her parents when they were ill, but that didn't seem to matter. Sadly, she committed suicide about a year ago. Her family's first response? Where is the body, what is going to be the cheapest way to have it shipped home, and how much money did she have? It was heartbreaking. She was the sweetest person I ever met, and how a family like that produced someone like her I will never know. As devastated as I was I was glad that at least she wasn't around to see that.
I'd take a friend shopping with you.
She can help you try new things that you might not think to. I did this for a friend and she got a bigger reaction than the bride, LOL. Okay, that's because she'd lost 100 lbs, but everybody was excited about the dress we chose. She hadn't lost all her weight yet, and she might have rejected the dress just because a back slit showed her calves, which looked wonderful, but she didn't know it. Then we picked out jewelry. A salesman was also very helpful. She was stunning and it was so much fun.
Not personally myself, but a friend of
mine has used them and she says they work well. She has a cat who is older and having a problem with constantly scratching and hurting herself, so she uses them. Also, try putting catnip on the post or anywhere you want them to scratch. Maybe it will be help. Good luck.
What would you do about this situation regarding ole friend?
This is a friend of over 40 years, lives out of town from me. I paid for surgery for a dog that belongs to her son several months ago, lots of $$$ and then I tried for several months to buy medicine such as vitamins and pain pills for the doggie. I have reached the breaking point to where I do not want to do this anymore. Her son is a druggie (but also has a really good blue collar job that pays more than I can make, if he would work) and she tries to play on my sympathy now by emailing about how the doggie really needs the medicine but she does not have the money right now. I ordered the medicine from my vets office close by and I told her she could call them (where she lives, the medicine much, much higher) and I just told my hubby I would not mind picking it up and sending to her (it would cost me around $2.00 to send) but he says still I would be playing into enabling her son to not step up to the plate. The lady I am speaking of draws her social security but spends almost every cent she can rake and scrape together to give to both her sons (they are grown- in their 30s). No amount of my talking to her telling her she is enabling them does any good at all. She told me she even bought the druggie some of his drugs before!! I was floored.. My question is- what would you do, ignore the emails about no money, tell her to pay for the medicine and I will send to her or just what? Thanks to all.
Yes, a friend of my DIL had this and changed
for the worst. She lost weight in her body but her extremities did not and she did not look that good. She changed completely in personality, went from mother and part-time teacher to thinking sex goddess, running around with lots of guys, stealing- things she never did before the bypass. I also saw a television show on bypass surgeries and the stories were similar to this, lots have experienced complete character changes.
Thank you-I know it's bad - if it was happening to a friend (sm)
I would be telling her the same thing you are telling us. I don't know why it's so hard to tell myself the same thing. Thank you for caring. I am going to make copies of everything so that if I do get some courage together I'll have my act together too.
So, Anon, be your own Best Friend...
and do what you know you need to do. We've all given you good advice here. There is free legal aid and counseling available all over the country, big towns and small. Act in your own best interests. Pretend that your best friend is being abused in this manner and look up the info for "her". For some reason you are reticent to do this. Are you afraid you cannot make it on your own? Are you afraid that he'll come after you? Do you think that the marriage can be saved? Do what Ann Landers always says "think about whether your life would be better or worse without him in it". If you think that it would be better without him in it then you need to make a decision to get the help you need. Don't tell him what you're thinking about doing. Don't let him find out you're making copies of necessary paperwork. This is about YOU and YOUR needs (necessities really). BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND! (Sorry about yelling - just trying to get through to you!)
Every time my mom sent my best friend and I sm
to pick berries there were never enough to make a cobbler. We ate more than we picked.
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