Also didn't mention the money issue at the party, just in private to her (nm)
Posted By: Just me on 2008-02-04
In Reply to: Would you be mad? (sm) - Just me
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- Would you be mad? (sm) - Just me
- Also didn't mention the money issue at the party, just in private to her (nm) - Just me
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Oh yeah money is another issue with my SIL
My brother was making just a little above minimum wage so he went to school full time and worked full time for two solid years (summers, intersessions, everything) to get his associate's degree in AutoCAD. He is now making $25+ per hour but I have no idea where it is going. They live in an absolute pigsty - SIL is not currently working, has not been for about 5 years, although she worked part-time for a while before that.
She takes care of the money (BIG mistake on his part) and she does stuff like one day she decided she didn't want to pay the notes on a loan they had gotten (signature loan). Things like that have ruined his credit.
But he still stays....
Now you sound like you have issue in the money thing
talking about the money husband makes and my getting a lot of money, sounds like greenen-eyed jealousy to me. This son has not visited me since when I married in early 2000s I said closing the ank, it was very obvious from then what their terms were. I do not care nor will I be around people who do not care for me. As long as I came across with $$$$$ it was visit time, DIL calling, etc. etc. - that stopped suddenly- so now think about that.
You didn't mention their age sm
If they are under 10 years of age, I would hesitate to get them real diamonds because, even though I am sure they would be very careful and take good care of them, there is always the chance that they might lose them. And here I'm not concerned with the value so much as how bad they would feel about losing them.
There are some really beautiful semiprecious stones out there - garnets are my favorite, deep, deep red. Also topaz, jade, pearl - lots of choices.
JMHO. I think it is really nice of you to want to give these girls a gift, and I don't see anything inappropriate about it at all. I have recently been reunited with some family members who have children and believe me on the children's birthdays I plan to get them something VERY nice!
you didn't mention if you banged it or not....
and no, we cannot diagnose you, you need a picture, and they'll probably buddy tape it anyway......Ice, elevation, buddy tape and you'll be in good shape (I have broken every toe in my feet, except the great toes, during my lifetime and healed themselves with same treatment). Hope it feels better soon!
yeah you didn't mention where on tail...sm
but you did mention *huge mass that burst*.......again, probably should do what the vet thinks is best, but I'd like to know if it's the lower part of the tail or up high closer to the body of the cat. Thanks! Again, good luck! Hope your kit gets back to being just fine...I love cats. Please keep us posted!! 
How much money rasied for Katrina, how much money for the diasters due to the tidal waves and what?
Every single one of them have had some smoke around it with the money not getting to where it was supposed to go. I did not contribute, I hardly watched, was not caught up again as I have seen things like this before. They should give a all you can give benefit for Darfur where people are being massacared each and every day. Genocide going on there each and every day. I have not seen any benefits to help them out yet.
But her money is her money to spend as she pleases -
I don't understand how you can think it is wrong for her to spend whatever she wants to on whatever she buys. It is their personal money they spend. It is not like they are saying give me those shoes and add it to the taxpayer's bill.
And in all actuality, they are saying spend, spend, spend to get the economy going.
I am sorry, I am jealous that some people still have plenty of money to spend and I don't, but I don't expect those people to quit spending just because I had to.
private schools
No, it's not fair that you should have to pay for a private school, but that might just be what is best for your daughter. We decided 16 years ago that our 3 children would not go to public schools. We have spent a fortune over the years, but I do not regret it for an instant.
His profile may not be set to private. sm
Just set yourself up an account and look for him by e-mail addy. He shouldn't mind. The only one of my contacts that minded was my nephew and he deleted me, but he's weird like that.
Private counseling
Go to a private counselor yourself if he won't go. Some of these "ANONYMOUS" programs attract those who do not get it and go around town blabbing your business, ruining your lives even moreso. Yes, they save lives but they often ruin them with their gossip, even the name gossip hisses, it ruins lives, topples marriages, loses jobs. Be sure before you let these people into your personal, private lives and your homes. Sometimes private, closed-door counseling is the best way to go. Then if you are both comfortable with going "public" that is your own personal decision. Beware of who you let into your life. If you were going to take a plane ride you would want to know the pilot.
I use it. I have everything private so only friends
that I approve can see my profile, and as far as personal info, my profile only shows my name and city.
The private school we're considering is ...sm
the one my daughter went to for pre-K and she liked it there then. I didn't send her there for kindergarten because I believe that public education should be educating kids. 3 of the 5 kids in the 1st grade at the private school are kids she went to pre-K with and she liked them - one was her best friend. The private school does have a good principal and they don't tolerate bad behavior for a second, and parents are called if their child misbehaves (been there, done that in pre-K!). Fortunately the tuition is reasonable and better than the other private schools in the area that have worse teacher ratios and nickel & dime you to death.
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.
Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.
Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.
GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
I guess that got past me but what does going to private
school have to do with this? Things that were in our past we have no control over. I live in the "deep south" and I am prejudiced, very much so, have always been, against thin women, healthy volumed hair ladies, people who do not like animals and my list goes on and on. I do think with all that happened in our deep south, you would not think we would have such an influx of blacks wanting to settle here and call it home, would you? Bad things can happen anywhere, anywhere.
private school answer.........sm
I think most private schools don't have to follow those govt innoculations things - I'm not sure, of course, but I seem to have heard something about that from parents who sent their children to private schools. I couldn't afford that back in the days.
As for the deep south....things have gotten better for the American blacks all throughout this country finally after 400+ years or thereabouts...........I look toward Atlanta, Georgia because it shows what I'm talking about. There are a tremendous amount of successful black Americans in Atlanta (not just in Atlanta either - Florida for one) and living in GREAT neighborhoods, buying expensive property and kudos to them.....I'm tolerant of everyone and everything in life except the intolerant and the extremists/terrorists and people who take advantage of others.....
wow. I never delved into her private life--sm
nor was I ever interested in it, but I had no idea she was that wealthy. Didn't she get divorced a few years back though? Wasn't her ex a judge, as well? maybe I am confusing her with someone else. Thanks for the info though. It is pretty interesting.
My calendar is in my private office and no one
else in the family even knows what it is for. My daughter will even mark the calendar if I haven't done it. Just last month she came in to count the days so she could make plans for an upcoming swimming party. Just so tired of the speculation that all teenage girls are sexully active. Believe it or not there are still some good girls out there.
Private vs state college.
My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college. She will be a transfer student from a community college. However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL (St. Pete campus).
Financially it's the same because with UT she is getting grants/scholarships for most of the tuition. At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures. We will have to take out loans for housing for either.
We are having extreme anxiety over this. Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere. It's on the bay and looks to be much more laid back than UT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa.
There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya'll would get very bored. But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment. We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed. I just want her to have the best experience possible. In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better. Also, she is having a problem with turning down the grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting for a state school.
Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol)
I'm just wondering if private is all it's cracked up to be? I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two!
One more thing... she's a huge baseball fan... Rays fan... St. Pete campus is 2 miles from the stadium... Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing?
And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.
My daughter is currently attending a private
college and she absolutely loves it. She just finished her freshman year. While she could have gone with full tuition to both state colleges, she chose the private school and with her grants/scholarships, etc. her dad and I are only paying about $2000 a year. Her school is so much smaller, the class sizes are approximately 15 to 20 students (if that many) and all the professors are very supportive and actually interested in all the students. She has told me there is no way she would go to a larger, public institution just because of the astmosphere. The entire campus is bascially just 1 big happy family.
It was an adjustment for her, but she had attended a state scholars program the year before, so she had lived away from home last summer, plus she is only 90 miles away from home now, so she basically comes home every weekend.
My daughter likes the school being small (it is smaller than her high school) and enjoys the family-like feel.
Whatever your daughter decides, I am sure she will be happy whereever she goes, but IMO the private college is the way to go. The private college my daugher attends is ranked in the top 10 liberal art colleges in the country, and she has been told that a diploma from there does more than just get your foot in the door for job interviews. I don't know about all of the private colleges, but where she is they do help with locating employment after college and have a 95% success rate with that to.
There is just more individual attention at a smaller school, which really helped her out with her freshman year which is a hard enough transition anyway.
I realize this is a private matter, but
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that. However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him.
Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car. Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out.
If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.
That is what stinks about private schools - sm
my kids used to attend private school, one reason I pulled them out was this one girl who bullied everyone, she was allowed to hurt kids, over and over again because the school wanted the tuition money and the father donated thousands of dollars in money, time, and construction labor to the school, and they were constantly "giving" things just so their daughter would not get kicked out. After trying to stangle someone the parents were finally told they had to get the girl some help and now she is on medication, but it took 4 years before the school did anything. The girl is still there, friendless basically, all the kids in her class cannot stand her, and she is just a pain in general. It is very sad in a way, if the parents had gotten her help a lot sooner she probably would not have allienated all the kids in her class (20 or so).
Sounds like a private investigator name!
I just pulled mine out of private school - sm
It's not all that it is cracked up to be. Our one local one that is not affliated with a church is $6K a year per kid (we have 2), plus an extra $100 a month they squeeze out of you for all sorts of stuff. The other schools in town were half the price but all were church schools which we did not want. So that is an aspect you need to look into if you chose to go private. Also the quality of the teachers, are they all certified, etc. We had a headmaster that lied to the parents and the schoolboard on a regular basis, last year he raised tuition $400 a kid, and shortly after that about 7 teachers/aids quit for various reasons, and in all this I dug up a ton of dirt and things behind the scenes that totally stunk, hence kids now go to public school. Class size is the same for us (19) and the discipline is so much better at the public school. A girl in my one daughter's former class is the class bully and at least once a year tries to choke another classmate, has she ever been suspended? NO. Has she ever been expelled? NO. 2 reasons, they school wants the money no matter what, and the kid's mother is an alumni. So not all kids at private school are well behaved angels. They expect a lot from the kids, but I think this particular school is overpriced unfortunately. ------my other daughter is also in 1st grade. She is struggling terribly in reading, though I take blame for some of that as I am very guilty of not reading to her on a regular basis. I am trying to get better at this, and her teacher at school reads with the kids one-on-one to check on their status. My daughter is slowly improving through her and my efforts. On every other level she is average. She cannot add in her head as yet, but I think that is a little advanced for a 6-y/o. She can do simple math on paper and is doing fine with that. ---If you chose to keep her in the public school (and I would because they have lots of resources that most private schools do not have, our private school had no special services at all despite the high tuition), pick up the slack at home, work on whatever subject she is weak on every night for 15 minutes. I do this with my 8-y/o in 3rd grade math, which is her weak subject, and it has made a huge difference. I am also reading with my other daughter at least 3 x a week (need to do 5 though) and it has helped a lot now. Reading a simple 12 page book used to take 45 mintues, now we can do it in about 10-15. --- It is hard to fit this into my schedule but I know I have to do it so they will improve and eventually excel. You just need to figure out what you daughter needs to do, what you need to do to help her reach that goal, go slow though and don't set the bar so high that she will never reach it.
My children have all gone to the private school through our church
anti christian or something, but I really don't know. I believe, perhaps, what the poster meant is that teachers who work in private church operated school settings do so because it is their ministry or calling by God. For me, knowing that my child is in a setting where the teacher loves God, children, and teaching is comforting to me.
Business owners are usually private citizens
and as such have right of refusal - I sure did when we had our own business. If you see a potential problem you want to get it back out that door pronto. Maybe the owner knew his clientele would not stand for OJ sitting in the restaurant and being served, etc., and believe that is his choice, his call. If he has other patrons of different races, religions, etc., can't see he would be concerned about a law suit. This is not even a religious matter or sexual discrimination - which is protected by law - OJ is hated still by many - his problem.
And he'd know all about her private business/health issues, too,
s
Just some pros and cons of private college
Pros
Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work.
Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college.
Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture.
Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students.
Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in.
Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students.
Cons
Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren’t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It’s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator.
Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It’s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object—go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt.
Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn’t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.
Thank you! I didn't realize they made computer glasses. Will make an appt. Spit didn't wor
3
well, I think it's more charter or Montessori type schools than private.
/
To be clear, if you email through MTStars your information is private.
This had been an issue brought up in the past and I have tried to explain that we do not see your emails. The only email content we see are any emails that come from offshore IP addresses and that is because we do not allow solicitation by direct offshore services.
But he "FOUND" it in private property! Ludicrous reasoning. nm
mm
Should smoking ONLY be allowed in private single family homes
March 14, 2007— Dozens packed the Belmont (California) city council chambers tonight for the first public airing of a new smoking ban proposal.
The law would give Belmont the toughest smoking ban in the nation — possibly in the world.
The crackdown aims to curb the harmful effects of second-hand smoke by preventing puffs not just in parks and around public buildings — but in private apartments and city streets as well. If the law passes, the only places left in Belmont to smoke would be single family homes and private cars.
Mayor Coralin Feierbach says the proposal was made to protect residents who suffer from health problems aggravated by smoke.The council didn't take action tonight. It's just the first of several meetings to discuss the proposal.
Very dusty, we live on a private dirt /gravel road - sm
have a dirt/gravel driveway )very short). Dust just seems to seep through somehow. House was built in 1989. I hate to clean so that does not help, and lots of stuff/clutter here for it to accumulate on. Need to just empty the house and bring back in only a few things and sell the rest. Would make such a difference.
How do you feel about toddlers being taught to call their private parts
a v*gina and a peni$ ? Just wondering
I didn't say her decor didn't sound great.
It's not ridiculous.
I would seriously doubt the Christianity of anyone who feels it is okay to celebrate Halloween. It is anti-God in every aspect.
You can only service 1 God and the folly of man and carnality is in direct conflict with holiness.
Thanks - I didn't realize they didn't like the smell of citrus
I have the feeling he doesnt have a UTI and he's trying to tell me something else, but I'll be taking him to the vets to be safe.
I don't see what one issue has to do with the other.
I don't like the fact that he won, but he's a free to gamble, as are we all.
Probably because it's really a non-issue.
(She was great on SNL a couple weeks, ago, too! Her 'double-takes' etc. were cracking me up.)
My dog and my issue sm
I must have a lot of this chemical or something.
If I am unwittingly *glutened* I get the toots and they are...highly unpleasant, shall we say. Now, I understand that dogs generally enjoy this, but my poor dog does not. She hears the noise, whines and RUNS as fast as she can to other room. Not too long ago, she was being a terrible pest and I needed to get up to work. I made the sound with my mouth. She tucked her ears and tail, and made B-line for the bedroom away from where she thought was coming!
This chemical might be good for my blood pressure, but not so good for my dog.
I had that issue too for a while - sm
I "adopted" my dad's husky and he was used to being totally spoiled. I give both him and my lab dry. He was finicky for about 3 days but after seeing the lab finish up his food for 3 days he started eating no problem. He has started to get a bit picky again so we make up beef boullion for him and add some to the food and he is back to eating w/o a problem. Think he just got bored and wanted some more flavor. Boullion is cheap and easy to make.
I have had this issue for a while myself- sm
My DH will not do a vasectomy though I explained it is easier for him than I, etc. I would have possible heavier and painful periods, which I don't want. Right now they are heavy but I forget most of the time I even have it, which is bad as I have "accidents" then. But I have never really been affected from my period, no cramps or bloating, I do get headaches but that is about it. I have been leaning towards that IUD now, Mirena I think it is called. Figure I will hit menopause in 10 years so can wait it out in the meantime. He knows I am using nothing so if I get pregnant at 43 it will be a whoops, and we are having another child late in life. He would not like it but tough noogies.
Thanks but here is the issue
Living in a smaller town, although right next to a huge complex, not many here that I can locate anyway does acupuncture. The nearest one I found before was probably about 30 or 40 miles away. I can self refer as I have PPO insurance so a referral not needed for me. I just want to know how to word an I only want to use #1 as a pain clinic physician.
Well, sometimes there is a medical issue
as there is here, not just eating and eating for no reason at all. Was always trim and slim until this but thanks anyway for the curt note.
Wiretapping is a whole different issue
You have an expectation of privacy when you have a phone conversation (although cell phones have pretty much burst that bubble). The government shouldn't be able to listen in unless there is cause for them to be suspicious that you are involved in criminal activity.
The other information - SS#, birth certificate, marriage certificate - is already on file with the government. You aren't telling them anything they don't already know.
There is also the behavior issue of (sm)
submissive piddling.
You can buy something called a Belly Band for him to wear in the house. If he dribbles with it on, he gets himself wet, so this can teach him not to let that happen. I've just heard that not all pet stores call it a Belly Band or know what that is, but you can Google something like house training, canine belly band, and you can read about it and maybe order on line.
Corgis are so cute. You can post pictures here on the gab board.
I think it is more of an issue of not supporting
things/people that I find morally wrong.
Granted, the God hating was not translated from the book to the movie, but that is not the point.
The point is, that this author had the audacity to write in his books about wanting children to kill God and that is wrong to ME.
I have every right to boycott this movie for that very reason because I am not giving this man a dime of my money and support.
It's not just about whether the movie is going to wrongly influence my children, it's about standing up for what you believe from the beginning.
I'm going through a similar issue.
I've had pain in my left upper, right upper and right lower quadrant for years now. I keep going to the doctor, he keeps trying to tell me I'm constipated. I'm not. I would know if I wasn't regular. I had a hiatal hernia when he thought my upper mid abdominal pain was reflux, and I had kidney stones when he thought my previous upper left quadrant pain was constipation. Now he tells me I'm a hypochondriac because I do medical transcription. However, they found fibroids and some other abnormality on ultrasound. Still haven't gotten those results back because they want me to pay another $150 office visit just to tell me what my $800 ultrasound said. Everyone else is telling me to have a HIDA scan to see if I have gallbladder disease for the right upper quadrant. I don't know if the left upper quadrant pain is another kidney stone or renal colic. I didn't know if fibroids hurt and would cause the right lower quadrant pain. Yes, I do worry that it's cancer. So I must be just a hypochondriac. I guess what I'm saying is, your daughter knows her body better than anybody else. If she thinks something isn't "right," she needs to pursue it. I don't think it's normal to be in pain every day.
Is it a necessary medical issue or just something
x
If you would like to further educate yourself on this issue
INTERESTING ARTICLE
I realize this is very long, but as an expert in this field, I want to re-post information I sent, in September, to another blogger concerned about the "Best Friends" summit.
I want to emphasize that the following information is based on years of dedicated research, and decades of dog training experience. I do not simply pass along information I've heard or read somewhere...which is sadly what most people, on all sides of dog-related issues, do.
I recognize that some of your readers may find parts of it quite controversial. That's okay. Facts are facts, even if they conflict with some other [expert's] unresearched opinions.
As such, I've opted to leave those sections in, because they're vital in refuting unfounded notions about dogs, canine genetics, and dog behaviour, which lead to myths about canine aggression.
Any individual point of controversy should not take away from the overall message of fact and reason that does not support the view that any entire dog breed could be considered "dangerous".
Only once people stop repeating inaccurate information (no matter how good it may sound), will we ever hope to get to the heart of this issue, and start reducing the number of unprovoked dog bites.
The following was written "off the top of my head", in response to concerns about the Best Friends' agenda. It is not a composed article meant for publication. Please also keep in mind, it has a decidedly Canadian perspective, although there is ample U.S. data referenced.
This is what I wrote (with a few minor clarifications):
Dear (blogger),
As you know, I am an expert in Canadian dog bite statistics.
After years of research, there are a number of interesting facts I've uncovered (most of which are now widely published). As such, I've provided a synopsis here, for you and your readers. I realize it is very long, but it is a more concise collection of my years of research; right here, in one place.
The situation with unprovoked dog bites is not what nearly everyone believes it to be.
If I had one pet peeve, it is that most people merely repeat things they’ve heard or read. They don’t really know if what they’re saying is true or not. They merely “believe” those things to be true, and that’s enough for them, I guess.
You know what I say, “No matter how often or loudly a myth is repeated, it is still just a myth.”
Some people simply like agreeing with others. Some like to pretend they’re especially knowledgeable or have unique insight. Whatever the source for so many of these myths, years of research has proven the majority of beliefs I encounter about dogs are simply untrue.
Whenever discussing the issue of dangerous dogs, it's always important to remember a few key points about the dog bite statistics (especially as they pertain to Canada):
1. The most dangerous breeds in Canada are, in order: German Shepherd, Cocker Spaniel, Rottweiler, and Golden Retriever.
Why do I say this? Well, this is not dog "bite" data, but rather dog "attack" data based on the reporting information from the Canadian Hospital Injury Reporting and Prevention Program (CHIRPP).
The CHIRPP members (hospitals, and reporting physicians and nurses) have no reason to lie about the information they receive, surrounding the breed of dog that has attacked.
Why do I say "the most dangerous"? Well, because the CHIRPP data only applies to the most severe dog attacks (i.e. those injuries serious enough to require treatment in hospital). These are not little nips that can be treated with ice or even a band aid. These are severe dog bite injuries that need to be treated in hospital. The dogs that cause the most serious injuries in Canada belong to the above-mentioned breeds, more than any others.
Unlike municipal dog bite data (where any bite, no matter how inconsequential, or even against other animals, is counted), the CHIRPP data only relates to the most serious dog attacks against human victims.
2. 'Pit bulls' are rarely in the #1 spot in dog bite statistics.
Any measures to restrict or ban the #2, #5, or #37 'breed' of dog in the dog bite statistics, but not #1, is pure hypocrisy.
As faulty as the logic may be, if you're going to ban or restrict a type of dog in an attempt to reduce the number of dog bites, then it must be the ones who bite the most and/or cause the most serious injuries. Either way, that 'breed' is not 'pit bulls'.
3. There hasn't been one confirmed death of a child attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history. (There has been one unconfirmed death.)
4. The very first human fatality attributed to an unprovoked attack by a 'pit bull' in Canadian history occurred in May of 2006. Until then, every insinuation or claim about Canadians being in danger of being killed in unprovoked attacks by 'pit bulls' was totally unfounded.
(In the Ontario case in May, the dog was actually only part 'pit bull'. It was a Labrador Retriever/'pit bull' cross, and the dog's owner was the victim.) (It should be noted that there have been at least two human fatalities in Canada attributed to unprovoked attacks by Labrador Retriever crosses, yet this was the first for a 'pit bull' cross.)
5. Municipal dog bite statistics often combine reported dog bite data against both humans and other animals.
While I don’t have any problems with doing so, those citing combined statistics must be aware that the majority of the dog bite reports aren’t against people. To imply otherwise is, at best, misleading and, at worst, dishonest.
For example: Toronto has arguably the largest municipal ‘pit bull’ population in Canada. In 2004, 12 of the city’s estimated 30,000+ ‘pit bulls’ had been reported for biting. (That’s about 0.04% of the population, by the way; leaving 99.96% of Toronto’s ‘pit bulls’ completely innocent of such allegations.) However, the majority of those reported bites were against other animals. Only 2 of the 12 could even begin to be called “attacks” against humans.
So, when 2 out of at least 30,000 dogs of a loosely-defined type are involved in attacks in an entire year, is that really justification for not just trying to ban or restrict them, but for making sweeping generalizations about all the rest?
6. No matter what dog ‘breed’ tops the dog bite statistics, the vast majority of bites are still attributed to other breeds.
To better help people understand the absurdity of a breed-based approach to dog bite prevention, let’s imagine that ‘pit bulls’ are responsible for a virtually unheard of 10% of bites in some Canadian city. That still leaves 90% of biting dogs unaffected by any breed-based approach.
This is the primary reason why breed bans have been such a colossal failure wherever they’ve been tried. The majority of biting and attacking dogs are not affected, so their owners are free to continue to behave negligently.
7. All dogs can bite.
There is no such thing as a breed of dog that has never bitten, never attacked, never maimed, or never killed (a person or other animal).
8. It is the size of the victim, not the dog, which best predicts severity of injury in an attack.
While even the very smallest dog breeds have killed humans, the very largest dog breeds are rarely involved in attacks.
9. Adults are rarely seriously injured by dogs of any size, while children are the most common dog bite victims. Their attackers range from the very smallest to the very largest dog breeds.
10. The dogs actually involved in attacks are not genetically related in any meaningful way.
This goes right to the heart of common, yet completely unscientific, baseless claims about allegedly inheriting aggressive behaivours or being bred for aggression.
In short, the dogs involved in attacks are not closely genetically related to one another. This tends to refute the idea that the attack was due to some aberrant inherited gene.
Think about it. What could the Dalmatian that bit off a boy’s nose 10 years ago and the Golden Retriever that left 76 stitches in a girl’s face, just a few years ago, possibly have in common, from a genetic standpoint? Is anyone really trying to suggest they’re genetically related, and both inherited some sort of as-yet-undiscovered “attack gene”?
Even the Rottweiler that killed a child in New Brunswick and the Rottweiler that killed a child in Ontario don’t share any common ancestors in their pedigrees; making the whole notion of a shared genetic cause for attacks completely ludicrous.
Put simply, the individual dogs involved in unique attack incidents are not genetically related in any way other than that which makes them dogs.
11. Psychology defines aggression as learned behaviour.
I’ve been researching dog biting incidents since 1999. I have yet to find a dog involved in an attack that didn’t have a known history of aggressive behaviour.
Aggression has to be learned and practiced before it is perfected. I have yet to come across a case of a dog that attacked unprovoked, without ever having barked menacingly, growled, lunged, snapped, or what have you.
This completely refutes the (quite silly) urban myth that “some dogs just turn”, or that dogs can be THIS unpredictable. (i.e. friendly family pet with no history of ever having behaved aggressively one minute; then savage, unprovoked attacker the next)
As an experienced dog trainer (one who has spent many of those years SUCCESSFULLY re-training aggressive dogs), I can attest that dogs are not all that unpredictable. Sure, they might do something out of the ordinary, every now and then. However, for a dog to suddenly behave aggressively in a way that is truly threatening or injurious, it must have practiced those behaviours in the past. This is the nature of all learned behaviours. Only practice makes perfect. (I can elaborate more on that, if you wish.)
It’s as though people can’t imagine any other form of aggressive behaviour, other than biting. To help them along, I must point out that aggressive behaviours follow a fairly predictable scale of escalation. It may begin with staring or raised hackles (all merely indicating discomfort with a situation). That can lead to raised lips, growling, stiffened body posture, menacing barking, lunging, and attempted bites. Long before an unwarranted bite ever occurs, there are a litany of warning signs that the dog will eventually bite.
Even the most die-hard dog fighting breeders admit they have to start their puppies very young (often at six weeks), to turn them into superior fighters. When asked why they have to spend so much effort training their (allegedly bred-to-fight) dogs, none can provide a scientifically or practically sensible response. Most use made-up terminologies to emphasize what they believe are inherited traits, while playing down the daily training they force on the dogs. Yet it is clear that, without this ongoing encouragement, the dogs don’t become proficient fighters.
I’ve researched so many cases where the owner has allegedly claimed the attack was the first time the dog behaved aggressively, I now pay little heed to such statements. The neighbours almost always tell a very different story.
To use a more famous case as an example, little Courtney Trempe was killed by a dog the owner claimed had never behaved aggressively before. The owner went on to say he “couldn’t have known” the dog would attack, because it had never tried to bite a person. Well, it turns out the dog had not just attacked previously, but had actually killed two neighbourhood dogs in the past. That is an aggressive dog, by anyone’s standards.
But it does bring me to my next point…
12. Aggression is aggression is aggression. The idea that aggression can be species-specific is not based in any kind of scientific, statistical, or practical data. It seems to be little more than wishful thinking. Those perpetuating this notion tend not to have even attempted to validate this theory in any way.
There is a very disturbing myth being promulgated by a number of groups that should know better than to perpetuate unfounded myths. The idea that aggression towards other dogs is markedly different than aggression towards humans is scientifically and statistically baseless. (But I realize a lot of people learned this myth, and repeat it as though it is true.) I have to point out that the real-world data, in no uncertain terms, clearly refutes such theories.
Of the dogs involved in their first aggression incident towards a human, the vast majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past.
Of the dogs involved in their first bites against humans, where the dog had no history of aggression towards humans, the majority had behaved aggressively towards other animals (usually other dogs) in the past.
Of the dogs whose first bite against a person resulted in that individual’s death, and where the dog had no history of aggressive behaviour towards humans, every one of the cases I’ve investigated involved dogs that had behaved aggressively towards other dogs in the past. (see the Trempe case example, above)
So, while some aggressive dogs may, for now, limit their aggressive behaviour to other animals, it in no way guarantees it will remain that way forever.
Most, if not all, the first-time human biters had only behaved aggressively towards other animals, in the past. Their owners, having believed the myth that aggression is species-specific in dogs, are always "surprised" when their dog-aggressive dogs bite someone.
Again, dog-aggression could remain contained, for a number of social and environmental reasons. Statistically, these dogs are equally as likely to bite a human, one day. Dogs with histories of aggressive behaviour (towards either humans or other animals) are almost exclusively involved in unprovoked biting incidents.
13. Nearly all unprovoked dog bites would not be prevented by dog control laws.
Since dog control laws typically only apply to the conduct of owners (and their dogs) when they’re on public property, it completely negates their ability to affect the circumstances that lead to the vast majority of unprovoked dog bites.
When it comes to total dog bite numbers, almost all take place on the owner’s property.
When it comes to reported dog bite numbers, the overwhelming majority take place on, or directly adjacent to, the owner’s property.
Supervised dogs in a public place account for less than 1% of all bites.
This makes public restraint laws especially ineptly-aimed and ineffective in reducing dog bites.
Most unprovoked biting incidents involve (typically an unsupervised) dog known to the victim. Whether or not the victim knows the dog, the bite usually takes place on the owner’s property (where the dog is either loose or tethered), or directly adjacent to the owner’s property (where the dog was either allowed to venture off the owner’s property, or “escaped”).
Very few unprovoked biting incidents involve a supervised dog. Simple supervision appears to be very effective in preventing dog bites.
When bites take place far from the owner’s property, the dogs involved were most likely loose, roaming, unsupervised dogs.
Simply put, public restraint laws don’t target the situations that actually lead to unprovoked dog bites.
14. Cities that address the real causes of unprovoked dog bites (i.e. lack of supervision & lack of socialization and training) are hugely successful in reducing the number of dog bites.
Calgary is the best example we have in Canada. They reduced dog bites by 70%, even during a period where the population doubled.
Calgary’s approach was to first enforce existing laws. They strictly enforce licensing, and boast a licensing rate of 90% (compared to most cites’ 10-20%). In this way, they have a better handle on the dog population in their community, which helps in making decisions and drawing conclusions.
They also have a zero tolerance policy for acts of aggression. (Something I’m personally totally in favour of. Dogs are not weapons, and anyone who unethically uses a dog for that purpose shouldn’t be allowed to own one.) Any report of aggressive behaviour of any kind results in a visit from animal control and a warning.
City officials are clear, in that they agree one of the biggest aspects of their success was the creation of ample off-leash areas for dogs to be exercised, socialized, and trained off-leash. With reportedly the largest number of off-leash parks in Canada, it’s no coincidence that Calgary also has the lowest dog bite rate of any major city in Canada.
Several years ago, I made this prediction, “When the studies are done, we’ll find the cities with the best access to off-leash parks are also the cities with the lowest percentage of dog bites.”
Calgary certainly suggests my prediction was correct.
Finally, Calgary increased the penalties for some transgressions. Combined with increased enforcement, the large percentage of licensed dogs, along with the higher fines, has led to Calgary’s animal control department becoming financially self-sufficient.
It’s win, win, win, in Calgary, all because they addressed the real causes for unwarranted aggression in dogs.
15. Breed-specific approaches to dog bite prevention have failed.
There isn’t one region that can claim a reduction in the number, or severity, of dog bites as a direct result of banning a breed of dog.
In Winnipeg, officials promoting the city’s long-time ban on ‘pit bulls’ often misleads the public by stating “’pit bull’ attacks” have been eliminated. Well of course they’ve been eliminated. ‘Pit bulls’ are banned in Winnipeg. You don’t have to be rocket scientist to figure that out. There are also no wooly mammoth attacks or saber toothed tiger attacks, either.
When Winnipeg banned ‘pit bulls’, German Shepherds, and their crosses, were far and away the most common biters in that city. After ‘pit bulls’ were banned, there was an average of close to 50 more bites per year, for the following decade. In addition to the rise in overall dog bites, the number of bites by German Shepherds and crosses, Labrador Retrievers and crosses, Terriers crosses, and Rottweilers and crosses, skyrocketed.
Kitchener is another example. The city of Kitchener banned ‘pit bulls’ in 1997, without ever having done an analysis on the city’s dog bite data. Only after ‘pit bulls’ were banned was it discovered they were #8 in the 1996 dog bite statistics, “right behind #7 Poodles,” as it is commonly said. In what could only be a deliberate attempt to mislead the public, officials immediately halted the collection of dog bite data by breed.
Even so, while we don’t know which breeds have been doing the biting, we can still determine if the ‘pit bull’ ban has been effective in reducing dog bites in Kitchener. Every animal bite is required, by law, to be reported to the Medical Officer of Health. With a sleuthing, it was discovered that dog bites haven’t been reduced at all, since ‘pit bulls’ were banned in 1997. They’ve remained pretty constant.
According to a BBC report, hospitalizations due to dog bites rose 25% after ‘pit bulls’ were banned in England.
Officials from most of the cities that have repealed breed-specific laws have used terms like “ineffective” and “unenforceable”.
16. All dog breeds are genetically identical. Even DNA can’t distinguish between a Chihuahua, a ‘pit bull’, a Great Dane, and a wolf. (Yes, while there are occasional claims of in-roads, in this area, using "markers", all dogs are still considered genetically identical.)
Those rare individuals with the personal expertise necessary to accurately attempt to determine a dog’s breed based on appearance alone typically are not employed in the various occupations charged with enforcing most breed-specific legislation. This leaves the subjective determination of a dog’s breed to the very inexpert animal control and shelter workers. In some cases, police officers must decide the dog’s breed, yet not one police officer is trained to (accurately) differentiate between dog breeds.
The same can be said of veterinarians. A veterinary license infers expertise in diagnosing and treating illness, for the most part. Neither practicing veterinarians nor veterinary students are required to prove any expertise in breed identification in order to obtain a license. Any expertise an individual veterinarian may possess, in terms of breed identification, or even dog training and behaviour, was most likely acquired outside the requirements of licensing.
Because the people enforcing breed-specific laws are not dog breed identification experts, the likelihood of misidentification is unconscionably great. (In Ontario, several dogs have already been misidentified, under breed-specific ordinances.)
17. "The public" is not in danger of unprovoked dog bites.
For instance, every recent dog-related fatality in Canada has involved dogs and victims residing within the same home. The same could be said for the majority of bites and attacks, as well.
This is very important information, in terms of quelling the public’s hysteria. “The public” is rarely involved in unprovoked biting incidents. Most bite victims knew the dog and were voluntarily interacting with it at the time of the bite. Most bite victims are bitten by their own dogs.
If you don’t own a dog, your risk of being bitten is very low. If you also don’t interact with dogs, or live next door to a dog that is routinely left unsupervised, or one that is known to behave aggressively, then your risk of being bitten is virtually nil.
Even when we don’t account for contributing factors (such as proximity) you are still more than 100 times more likely to be hit by lightning than killed by a dog. (In Canada, the likelihood of being killed by a dog you don’t know or live with is virtually zero.)
18. ‘Pit bulls’ are, if anything, less likely to bite.
In the U.S., ‘pit bulls’ are estimated to make up 9% of the dog population, yet they typically only make up 2-4% of dog bites, nationwide. In case your readers don’t understand what that means, it would be expected, purely on population alone, that 9% of dog bites would be attributed to ‘pit bulls’. Since less than half (even a third) of bites are reportedly caused by ‘pit bulls’, this suggests they’re much less likely to bite than should be expected.
19. ‘Pit bulls’ are less likely to kill than people.
In the U.S., even extremely conservative estimates suggest that only 0.00002% of the ‘pit bull’ population has killed. This is much lower than the human population (men, in particular).
Whatever someone’s views about ‘pit bulls’ might be, it can’t change the fact that at least 99.99998% have never, and will never, kill anyone.
20. 99.9% of all dogs, from all breeds, will never be involved in an attack.
Huge generalizations about dog breeds is not only unscientific, it’s not even practically accurate. I like to put it this way, “If any ‘breed’ were genetically programmed to attack, certainly more than 0.1% of them would.”
21. The media.
While I don’t want to get into a protracted discussion about the lack of honesty in media reports of dog bites, I will summarize by saying that reviewing media reports of dog biting incidents is not “research” because the media is extremely biased in regards to which stories it chooses to cover.
The media reports dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’ to the near-exclusion of all others. In addition, they use other tactics to exaggerate the details, such as salacious language, or references to other dog biting incidents involving ‘pit bulls’.
There are countless incidents of media bias. In Ontario, a ‘pit bull’ killed another dog, and it was front-page news, that reappeared in the media for weeks. The owner was swiftly taken to jail. Around the same time, two Labs killed another dog, and attacked a ‘pit bull’ without any real media interest. The owner of the Labs was not charged with any serious offence.
There are other blatant incidents, as well. One weekend, two off-leash dogs (one of them being a ‘pit bull’) got into a squabble, and every major media agency reported the incident. That same weekend, a child was mauled by the family’s Golden Retriever, and not one media outlet covered the story.
A child was mauled so savagely by his grandfather’s Labrador Retriever, he required treatment at two Ontario hospitals. Only one media outlet covered this story in just one broadcast.
Again, relying on the media for the facts of dog biting cases is not advised.
Naturally, I could go on. But there you have a pretty good primer (off the top of my head), regarding the facts about the who, what, where, when, how, and why dogs bite unprovoked.
Because I kept encountering the same story, over and over and over again, in my research of dog biting incidents, I was led to create a dog bite prevention strategy that deals with the factors common to nearly all the cases I’d investigated.
I made it simple, and easy to remember. And I made sure not to include anything that would require an individual to develop some kind of expertise. People who don’t own dogs or aren’t experienced dog trainers still have a right to protect themselves from unprovoked dog bites. The following is what I call, the “3 Simple Steps to Dog Bite Prevention”:
1. Avoid unsupervised dogs.
2. Never leave children unsupervised with dogs.
3. Ensure our own dogs are properly trained and adequately supervised at all times.
By following these “3 Simple Steps”, we could virtually eliminate unprovoked dog bites in Canada.
It is not just important, but vital, to know what ACTUALLY causes dogs to bite unprovoked, if we ever hope to reduce those numbers. Obtusely theorizing about possible causes or solutions is not helpful and, as in the case of breed-specific legislation, is often harmful to both humans and dogs.
If you would like more information, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Sincerely,
Marjorie Darby
Founder,
how do you know if you have an eating issue sm
i have so many emotions running through my mind every single day, but not going to get into all of them here. i hope i don't have an eating issue/disorder, but sometimes i wonder. i grew up in a strict household (my dad was immature and always telling me i was fat and needed to lose weight). i'm an average size 5 foot 7 girl. i'm 36 now and constantly think about food, how many calories something has, fat content. i gain weight easily. i just get so tired of worrying about what i'm going to eat, cause it'll make me fat. sometimes i will sneak eating food, because my husband will say things like "do you really need that?" and he's just trying to help. but what i really think is i want is to join WW and have group support from other people that are going through the same thing. my husband can drink about six sodas a day, eat whatever and he doesn't gain weight. he doesn't exercise. it just makes me sad that i have to work so hard to not be huge. i'm about 165. i would like to get down to at least 150 or maybe less. my parents used to tell me when i was little not to waste food (we were poor so wasting food was like wasting money).
i'm sorry, i'm rambling on, but i really don't have anyone to talk to. sometimes i think i'd like to see a counselor. (i have never seen a counselor) i have other issues that bother me but won't get into it.
thanks for listening, just wondered if anyone else has food issues. i'm a healthy person. i don't smoke or drink. never did drugs. i try to eat healthy. i especially overdo it in stressful situations. yesterday i ate a little less than a pint of butter pecan ice cream. then i felt crappy the rest of the evening.
well i stop now.
marihuana issue sm
Not on ballot here, never tried it, wouldn't know where to get it. Once heard one is equal to 12 cigarettes. Sister died of lung ca., so afraid of it, although I never smoked. There are days though when my back hurts so much I might try it if I had it, so glad I don't have access to it! Can't judge others, just glad I never used it, too much stress in my life, may get to be a habit I certainly don't that!
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