All living in my house have curfews.
Posted By: Stick to your guns on 2007-06-21
In Reply to: Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm - just wondering
My youngest is 19 and lives at home. He has a curfew. He tried the now-that-I'm-18-I-don't-gotta-do-what-you-say stuff but I packed a WalMart bag with his deodorant and his stinky tennis shoes and took my house and car keys off his key ring and told him he couldn't live here if he didn't respect the rules.
He wandered around with friends for a couple of hours then very apologetically came back and we haven't had any trouble since.
You are not too hard. If she wants to make her own rules, she needs to support herself. Adult decisions should be made by adults - that means supporting herself.
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I got you beat :) I live in Texas. My house is only 1700 sq living foot. sm
My light bill or April was 455.00. My light bill for May is 408.00. By August, it will hit probably mid 600s. I have the spiral bulbs, turn everything off during the day when it is just me home (this includes the Central Air and it was 91 today - ugh!). Don't know what I am going to do as this will be 75% of my check every 2 weeks. Another reason I resigned from my job this week!
We did curfews for a couple of reasons
Our 3 oldest kids are in their 30s now. Here's what we did with them and will do with the 2 teenagers when they finish high school.
CURFEWS - absolutely because 1) with the layout of our house they had to walk right by our room to get to theirs and we had to get up early to work to support the household
2) we both believe there's nothing good going on after midnight
3) the kids were always welcome to have friends over or be on the phone on weekend nights
4) the kids were expected to get up in the mornings and go to jobs or help with chores or the younger kids or whatever. Nobody got a free ride from high school graduation on.
Did we have a few skirmishes? Sure. But if there was a particular reason to be out, a movie, concert, then we were flexible.
We all survived it and we will with the younger two as well. You and yours will too. Just remember to keep the most important thing - your sense of humor.
curfews and adult children
We went through this with both our kids, and repeatedly I tried to get it through their heads (okay, thick skulls, lol!) that I worry about their safety, that I NEED to know that they're safe. I told them also that their driving privileges could be revoked if I saw fit (I'm not sure they believed I would actually do that, though, and I ended up never needing to go that far). But the main thing that I think finally got through to them is that I really do genuinely worry. I can't sleep peacefully when they're home from college or home visiting now, if they're not back under the roof here when they say they will be. (I don't have as big an issue with that when they're at college or living in their own place; then, a once weekly call is enough to keep my quiet!) I've also been known to ask for extra contact numbers of their friends, in case their cell phone dies or they lose it or whatever (yes, it has happened, and the extra contact numbers have come in handy). But the agreement with the extra contact numbers is that I won't use them unless there is a true emergency here or they haven't checked in at their agreed upon frequency. They don't want me to embarrass them to their friends because Mommy is checking up on them.
Whether it is safe for an 18-year-old to be out after midnight is perhaps a relative question - relative to where you live, what the night-life in your area is like, how many deer cross the backroads randomly during deer season, whether you live in an urban area with a lot of party clubs that 18yo kids don't need to be tempted to visit, etc. You get the idea.
But first and foremost, get it through her head that you need to know that she is safe, that she needs to check in with your regularly if she's going to be out late.
As for my kids - we got through those rocky years, and now when I go to visit them, they expect ME to call THEM to let them know that I arrived home safely. Life is good!
We had no curfews for our adult children.
And I consider 18 an adult.
As each of our children reached age 18, we had a frank discussion with them and laid out what we expected of them. We told them that they were now basically non-paying roommates. Because we loved them and wanted to give them a boost into adult life, we kept our home open to them, paid their living expenses, and supported them in pursuit of their dreams. But as parents, we worry. All curfews and restrictions were dropped the day they turned 18. They didn't have to tell us where they were going or what they were doing. But we asked that they not worry us. We requested that they give us approximate times of coming and going. I needed to know whether they would be eating with us, and basically at what hour I should start worrying if they hadn't returned home. I also asked that since we were paying their tuition (high school and college) that they keep good grades. Our first son was not a great student, and we told him that we did not consider paying his way to college a good investment of our hard-earned money. We asked him to prove his seriousness by working, attending community college full-time and paying the community college tuition himself. He did that, received good grades, and then transferred to a state university with our blessing and tuition assistance. Since our sons drove our cars, we told them that we would not allow them the use of our car if they stayed out later than expected without calling home or had any driving issues, or God forbid, drinking. Any major infractions, drugs, drinking, legal issues, and we'd close our home to them, as well.
The discussion was very honest. They told us what they wanted from us, too, which was to be treated as adults. That was fine with us. We gave them quite a bit. A place to live, a car to drive, an education, and respect. They gave us respect in return, and actually never stayed out very late. On occasion, if stayed out longer on weekends, they called or left text messages so that we wouldn't worry if their plans went later than expected.
Children need to learn to act like adults. We have to treat them as adults, but it's also fine to give them a bit of help as they head out into the world on their own. If your child is a responsible teenager, likely the transition to adulthood won't be so bumpy (but do expect a few bumps). Just sit down and talk about expectations, listen to your child, and come to an agreement. I think that I enjoy my adult relationship with my children much more than I did when they were young. And after all, if we live out even an average life span, we will know our children as adults much longer than we know them as children. Best to get use to them being adults!
I don't set strict curfews for mine. I can't because of her activities. sm
How do you all work around school activities and curfews? My 16-yod works, is varsity cheerleader, tennis player, in theater, etc. Even school activities like away games sometimes it is like midnight or later before they get home. As long as she is keeping up her grades and I know where she is at all times, I pretty much let her be. She has a cell and I know I can call her at any moment to get a hold of her. She lets me know the plans ahead of time so I can know when to expect her home. She is the one that suffers if she doesn't get enough sleep. I may be wrong but I believe in being too strict too. In my town, they have midnight bowling for teens and a lot of the kids get together after football games and watch movies. These to me are much better than being at some party and as long as she is behaving, I let her go. We have a very open communication though and she tells me just about everything so I don't worry. I am proud to have a 16-yo virgin at this time which is more than I can say for myself. If she has no specific activity planned, her curfew is midnight but that is very rare. I think there are a lot of varieties and things to take into consideration especially individual personality of the teen as well as school activities and the friends they hang out with.
survey on sixteen year old girl curfews - sm
Just taking a survey from all you parents of 16 yo girls out there...what is your curfew for your teen? Do you let her go out during the school week? If so, how often and what time does she need to be back? What about Friday and Saturday nights? Thanks for participating.
Need help with ideas for remodeling house and decorating. We bought a house
in fair condition about 10 years ago, got into some medical problems, and have just now paid off the mortgage. Hubby and I agreed we would do nothing to the house for remodeling because we wanted to pay it off first, then the medical bills. I need to know of some websites/magazines/books to start researching for how to go about this. These will be major repairs - roof, septic, basement, windows, pretty much everything except wiring. Where do we start? Maybe hire a general contractor just to do an evaluation and give us recommendations? Hubby is a handyman but cant seem to get a handle on where to begin. We would like to do as much of the work ourselves as possible - labor of love and all that...
Thanks for any and all kind suggestions!
Is he still living?
I heard leopards don’t change their spots.
We have been living in ...
the me me me society where everything is now now now. DH and me cut up credit cards and paid off debt for the last 3-4 years instead of remodeling the house, buying new clothes/cars/toys.
I live in a $60,000 house that many people turned their nose up at because it wasn't an McMansion. Well we are about two years from paying it off without any help from anyone and those that turned their nose up at us are in foreclosure right now.
I had a feeling the stock market was going to crater - just didn't know how bad. I'm doing everything I can to keep my job and make the most of it. Now is not the time to go job-hopping.
Time for folks to live within their means and businesses/corporations need to realize that slow and steady growth isn't bad - its better then the alternative of not even being in business.
Finally I think we need to STOP rescuing this fat cats that make these stupid decisions that bankrupt these companies and put 1000's out of work. Make them return their golden parachutes and live like the common man. Same goes for salaries for actors/actresses and sports figures.
Yes, shows are something we could do, living
where we do. It's not far to go, maybe 12 miles across town.
And thank you very much. One thing we don't want to do is get Sasha's nose out of joint, LOL.
Your living your dream like never before?
?? That doesn't make sense.
funerals are for the living
nothing done to the body is going to affect whether she 'rests in peace'. Let the mother bury HER dead where SHE wants. She is the legal next of kin.
p.s. her character isn't like too bad if she was a cop so long. don't believe everything the way the media slants it.
You might consider doing the living room
(or whatever the fanciest room is) in same color but with a special border tile worked in to set that room off.
Just a thought.
Living in the country is so...
enjoyable. We have two neighbors and that is about it. One neighbor is across the pond from us and the other neighbor lives back behind a wooded area and we can't hardly see their place unless it is in the winter. I don't think I'd like living right next door to someone else.
Living arrangements
I don't have personal experience, just an opinion. I think you should remain in the community with the best school for her. If you are in an apt. now in that school district, stay. Don't go the mobile home root. Then if you can in a few years, get a condo or townhome in the same area. That way the friends she makes at school now will stay with her as she grows up and she will have continuity and stability. I would cross mobile homes off my list. JMO.
Living in la-la land
I cannot believe in this time that anyone would leave their door open for anyone to enter. It does not seem like you either hear/read the news or know about things that go on around your little world. Why invite danger by opening your door to the world? In my town some children molested by strangers coming into their rooms in the middle of the night- oh by the way, not only their doors left open but some windows not locked of a night. I read a post on here where a man showed up in one persons home through their garage door. My home is just as secure as I can get it. I love and cherish my life, my hubby's and my pets as well. What is someone other than someone you know comes in 1 day- then what? Good luck with a dangerous situation.
Sexy men who are still living !
Patrick Dempsey, Dennis Haysbert, Keifer Sutherland, Thorsten Kaye, Ryan Reynolds, Sam Elliott, Tom Selleck, Aidan Turner. Thorsten Kaye is the sexiest! Sam Elliott is second. Dennis Haysbert is third except Patrick Dempsey is tied for third with him! So many men! So little time.
After 6 months of looking and living
like a pauper I am now pretty happy in the new job I have. I am also behind on every bill in the house! Has anyone used a credit counseling service to help them with debt and paying off everything to get their credit back on track? I want to use a legitimate company and not worsen my situation more than it is. Thanks everyone.
what's wrong with living
with a 29-year-old? I was married with two kids, owned a house, etc. when I was 29. It is not like he is going to live with a 19 or 21-year-old who might not be that mature or responsible.
Not if they are legally living here or if
they have become citizens. That is why Carly could not compete 2 years ago when she made the top 24. Her paperwork had not yet gone through.
Anyone out there living in Maine? SM
An old boyfriend, who is now a minister lives in Bath, Maine. Can you tell me where it is located and something about it? I would appreciate it. I was thinking of maybe visiting his church. 
what i think is there are too many people living
what is good to one person, may not be to another but a free ride may be a lot of fun to some.
i don't sit and worry about it.... i just think it is incredibly sad the way i've seen it work so well for someone who doesn't even deserve it and works so slow for someone who does.
We are living in a sad world.
//
how ridiculous! I said living
thing with a SOUL. Humans have souls. Oh i love my animals dearly, but they are not people, and i understand the difference. No, it cannot be twisted 1000 different ways, not accurately anyway. Human babies are innocents in God's eyes. But i doubt if you are a believer, thus the difference in understanding.
Living in la-la land
NM
My MIL is in an assisted living...
I think it depends on location and what is available really.
She lives in Salt Lake area and is in an assisted living, paid for through her Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security benefits. She has an apartment there and is wheelchair bound and they even let her have a cat. You should do some checking for her because there are places that will take them.
I worked in an assisted living for a while here where I live and it was mostly for private pay. I think nowadays they do allow otherwise due to the need for it and it is cheaper than putting them in a nursing home.
Once again, I would check on it. She will have to be evaluated of course to see if she meets the criteria for assisted living or if she needs to be in a long-term care. Prepare yourself for that one as well.
Hmmmm. What does he do for a living?
I'd be a little suspicious about selling drugs.
Been with my man for 16 years, living together 8..
Yay! We've been living vicariously through you. sm
I'm really glad you had such a nice time! What a bummer about that Pakistani doctor....pretty scary!
Have a great day! It's the last day of my pay period and I am soooo behind!! Gotta work! See ya!
Chickadee
Every living breathing male does if they can.
Only most don't codemn it. THAT is what I would have a problem with. :)
Try living downstairs from them sometime..... Gaaaaa!
.
I am living it presently, so I go by what they have done and told me.
nm
This is why I am perfectly content living
I love them, but I don't have to deal with them on a day-to-day basis.
How cute! She is definitely living her dreams
in that picture, Ha!
...appetites. Living composters! nm
s
Keys - Son - Living with Daughter
However, why post if you were wrong and then defend yourself to the opinions that were posted???? I don't get it. My parents had an open door policy. No matter what, they stuck by my decisions. I moved out twice and moved back in before getting married when apartment life did not work out for whatever reason. I did not move out when I was 16 though as my parents were responsible for me until I was 18. Once I turned 18, they still let me move in and out and I also always had a key. I had a key to the house they lived in, and then I had a key to my Mom's independent living apartment after she sold our family home when our Dad passed away.
I think there are more issues here than you want to admit. I think if you tried counseling instead of arguing with your son about a key, then you may get to the root of the problem. The fact that you won't allow him access to your home symbolizes that you don't want him around unless you are home. You are now telling him that his home is no longer his home by taking the key away.
I think that it is just understood that once one moves out on their own that the original home is not their home, but they are still welcome. I don't think you want to welcome him into what you are calling your home.
When we bought our first home and had children, we became a team. We are a family and even though my husband and I pay the bills, we do tell our children that this is "our" home. They help with chores and that's the best they can do.
I don't want to go on and on, and I'm not bashing you here. I just think you may want to consider some help from something other than this board. You may want to try a church or a counselor to help you with your teenager. I'm sure none of us here are saints by no means and we need to support one another here.
My Mom used to say "You are born, but you're not dead yet." In other words, anyone here can state their opinions on the rearing of their own children, but not until you die can you say "that never happened to me"! My Mom would say this when I would give judgemental remarks of others. This was to open my eyes to the fact that the very same thing I am talking about could happen to me!
Lots of luck and love to you! I certainly hope there is a way to keep an even ground with your son. Blood is thicker than water...
Are we living in a big-brother nation
While I feel it was disrespectful from the student I feel it should have been handled differently. I don't believe the school should have been involved, since it didn't happen on school property or with school property. If I was the teacher I would have contacted the parents and talked to them and let them know how uncomfortable I feel about something that was written about me and let the parents handle how to discipline their own child. The school should have no say on how to discipline this child. What will the next step of the studen't personal life will the school decide to be involved in.
When do you get to live? When you start living and
x
I think I'm living with your husband's brother
I've got a very similar issue going on right now, too, so I'm very interested in hearing the responses. I don't know how old you are, but one of the biggest problems for me is that at 49, my body image is more comfortable having sex with wild abandon under the cover of darkness and that morning light (not to mention the sheet wrinkles, morning mouth, etc.) just don't let me feel relaxed enough for great sex (I might add that we've only been together about six months, and while being comfortable enough to ignore one's own body flaws may come, I'm not there yet). In our case, he does at least seem interested in the sex, with days full of flirtatious innuendo (he owns a ranch, so we see each other a good deal during the day), but somehow, he cannot drag himself to bed before 3:00 a.m. (and gets up at around 11-12) about an hour after I've finally given up waiting and gone upstairs (I'm an 8-9 riser).
This is a hard one not to take too personally, but if your husband has always been like this, it doesn't seem like it could suddenly be you. And, for what it's worth, there are many women who fall into the size 4 category (although I ain't one of them) who have the same issue, so it's not that weight loss/starvation will be this magical cure-all. As noted, I look forward to hearing from those who have gone through the same thing (and sorry for all the parentheses).
Are we living in the Wild West?....sm
I wonder that the police do not take more action against him.
Your mother has now to live imprisoned with a shotgun next to her bed?
She should make him institutionalized, declared incompetent and the property should become hers and yours.
11 years and your still living on his land
and talking about moving on to your mothers land. Here's a thought, buy land from him, or buy land from her and then its YOUR land. Better yet, move away completely and stand on your own two feet.
Living in Georgia and loving it
Never have felt the need to move because I got frustrated, never. Moved from another state over 30 years ago and love where I live. I really hate when I see an overall blanket statement about a state being backwards. I find myself going on the offense when a person attacks a state in general when they perhaps are unhappy just for the person they are. I am sure a person can find fault with any place they might be brought up or choose to live but my community is very progressive, upscale and as much as I love to travel, hope this can be my home from here on. People make their own happiness and if you are unhappy either in your personal or business life, then perhaps you are just soured on the world, not where you live. If a person wants to move from my state, hey, just more room for the people who can enjoy their life here.
originally Michigan now living in the sm
south. you brought up the other things I was thinking when I posted about Vernors. Saunders hot fudge, Faygo, Stroh's ice cream (use to have a Stroh's ice cream shop by the house back in the 70s when in high school) and those wonderful Better Made potato chips!!!!!!!! Hubby was just in Michigan two weeks ago and brought back a bag. Nothing like em!!!!!!
What part of MI are you from? I am from the Pontiac Waterford area, born and raised!
My favorite memories were living near
my grandparents. Saturday mornings grandpa and I would take a walk to the donut store and have donuts with sprinkles and coffee (hot chocolate). I remember going with grandma to visit her neighbors or helping her in the kitchen and helping grandpa water the garden or go through his train collection he had.
Unfortunately, I think my mom was born without the grandma gene :( She lives 350-400 miles away and we only see her a few times a year. Would love to let the kids go see her over the summer but she spends more time with "don't do that", "don't touch that", "don't go there", etc that it would be a very boring time for the kids.
fair living wages
What do you feel is a FAIR and REASONABLE rate to pay an employee medical transcriptionist?
For point of reference, yesterday I did some basic calculations.
In 1987, I was hired as a TOTALLY GREEN NEWBIE at 4 cpl. In 1988-1989 sometime, I got a raise to 4.4 cpl. My "guarantee rate" for 90 days after hiring was $7/hour. The minimum wage at the time was $3.35 I think. ($4-something maybe?) So my "guarantee rate" was approximately double the minimum wage. At 4 cpl, I needed to be typing 175 lph as a brand new fresh newbie! And amazingly enough, I only used my "guarantee rate" during my first pay period - every pay period after that, I was paid at my lph rate, not my guarantee rate! This was on an Selectric TYPEWRITER, not a computer!
Nowadays, MQ has a standard "guarantee rate" for 30 days instead of 90, and it's $10/hour. Their minimum line production is 100 lph, or 150 lph for full-benefit full-time employees.
I would like to discuss the following questions on a new forum: http://mtfallenstars.proboards.com/index.cgi Please join me there!
What has changed in our industry? Why has the line-per-hour rate gone down instead of up? Why is the guarantee rate now less than double minimum wage? Why do seasoned experts in the field consider it a good day to make $15/hour while newbies struggle to stay off food stamps?
People living together but not married
There's an article in TIME magazine (May 25 edition) about this subject. They're called CU's--Committed Unmarrieds. Here's a couple of interesting stats from the article:
Andrew Cherlin, a Johns Hopkins professor, says that unmarried parents in Europe stay together longer than married parents in the U.S.
Rutgers University's National Marriage Project says cohabitating couples are at least twice as likely to break up as married couples are.
Nonmarital births have increased the most among women ages 25 to 39, doubling since 1980.
The majority of cohabitants either break up or marry within five years, says Alison Hatch, a grad student at the University of Colorado, who is doing her dissertation on committed unmarrieds.
More than 5 million unmarried couples cohabit in the U.S., nearly eight times the number in 1970 and a record-breaking 40% of babies born in 2007 had unmarried parents, up from 25% from 2002.
Stop living in your little bubble world....
nm
No excuse for it, but I'm sure Kim has made his life a living you know what.
nm
I agree, I think as long as still living with parents
they should go by the house rules or go get their own place and their own bills. But, then I definitely do not think 1 a.m. is an unfair curfew. What the heck are they doing at that hour, anyway? :(
my cat is 16. she went from living in my empty bedroom to my closet. sm
She goes between my closet and my husband's closet. She is eating well but just does not want to be bothered with us. She has always been a bit shy.
Retirement home/assisted living
Go to one of the retirement homes or the higher class assisted living complexes in your area that has a beauty shop in it and I bet dollars to doughnuts that they can give you what you want as that is how they do it for the ladies in those areas.
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