All children are different
Posted By: sm on 2007-06-21
In Reply to: I am glad everyone is giving their sm - ORIGINAL POSTER
it seems to me you keep comparing your 19-year-old to your 21-year-old. Since they are two separate people, they should be treated as such. Times are a changing. I'm sure it does worry you, but if she's off to college, she is probably staying out late there too.
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Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
she said *he definitely does not want more children*
but she said that HE definitely does not want anymore children...that's what the OP said so I responded based on that *fact*.... 
I am so sorry!! I have 4 children myself
30, 28, 24 and 17 - and can honestly say that we have gone through periods like this before - it is usally something really silly that gets all blown up - a misunderstanding, etc. Enjoy your birthday to its fullest - send a gift/card to your granddaughter as you normally would and go about your business with no bitterness - it will all work out - they will be back to you soon - really! :)
Yes, and then only if there are no children.
Sorry, but tobacco is a dastardly substance that people need protection from IMO.
Does she have children. If so, what are
xx
I have 2 children of my own,
starting with K. This is my sil who is having the baby and she has 3 children already and has run out of K names. So, I thought I would give her a hand. Thanks for your suggestions!! I am passing them on.
both my children do just that and they are
both well-rounded, well-behaved, straight A students. Children have to live in this world and we as parents have to love and teach them. I know I am not the exception.
Whether having children or not is, without SM
question,your own choice, but you come across as very cynical. Perhaps you are watching too much TV or listening to talk radio. Things are not that bad. Oh sure, there is too much media attention given to Britney Spears, but most young girls, with the proper guidance, don't want to be her. There is a challange to motherhood, but most of us meet it very well.
Children & TV
How many hours a day/week do you let your children watch TV? Do they have TV's in their room? If so how do you monitor (or do you monitor) what they watch?
Have you ever banned certain shows from your house? What do you think about all those "sassy" shows on Nickelodean and Cartoon Network, like "Zach and Cody," or "Drake and Josh" or "Hannah Montana?"
I'm thinking of changing the TV rules and want to know what you all do with your kids.
Is this only to children that you know and
the parents know who the treat is from. We used to give out special home-made treats but always with a note saying who it was from. Now our neighborhood has grown so much we have a lot of children that don't live in the area. I don't want to give out something to someone and then their parents not let them eat it.
23 and 25 and like your children
my of my kids friends have older parents. All the kids like to hang out at our house because we "seem so much cooler" than their parents. Believe me, nothing goes on in this house that shouldn't. We just always have lots of junk food in the freezer, don't mind the music up loud, and love to just sit and chat with the kids. Last night one of my son's friends was picking him up to go to youth and she was early so we talked while he got ready. When it was time to go she said she didn't want to leave. It was really sweet.
Do you have children? LOL! sm
Meant that becasue I have a friend that says she has "brain damage cuz she has kids". I have a book that is titled "If questions for the soul". Not all questions are religious but most are. I had another one that was the same but not religious ? and loaned it to a friend. We often have these books in the car on family road trips. Really gets the family talking.
My children, now 26 and 25, are right there with yours. My
son works in retail (grocery store) and buys his jeans to wear to work at the thrift store. None of us mind wearing thrift store clothes. We tend to shop clearance racks and sales. They are not particular about the brand of clothing they wear (I never was either) so long as they fit and are comfortable. I'm really glad mine don't feel the need to compete with everybody else and spend everything they make trying to keep up with others. 
Since I do not know you or your children, sm
I can not tell you the effects it will have on them--but, do not think for a minute they do not know about and cannot feel the stress and fear you are dealing with.
For me, it was best for me and my children to have a peaceful, happy home than to live one more day like we had been. This is a personal choice and for us, I made the right one. Good luck to you.
you know your children and how
they are prone to react (ie, 'you turned out okay'). I never lied to my kids, but only shared my experiences when I thought it would add to their education about a subject, and of course was age appropriate. For example, about drugs, they know what i think about pot/weed, but they don't know anything else i may have tried. Sometimes personal experience gives validity to the discussion, but i sure wouldn't make it a confessional.
You ask if she has children, will tell you what she has
She has a man who is likely bisexual but then sounds like a closeted gay to me, marrying for his own reasons, a person who is refusing her sexually, probably getting his kicks elsewhere (as in the gay sex line and possibly meeting other guys and having affairs on her.) I would not care if I had 20 kids, there is not that much "love" in the world for me to stay and hope to have a relationship? Not this woman. I do not want to risk my life. I heard the saying for years- where there's smoke, there's fire- so much smoke around this guy he could set his own bonfire.
I don't have children - but
Let me start by saying I do not have children (but do have neices and nephews). Second...my language itself is well lets just say I shocked my mom quite a few times. Bad language just happens to be part of our everyday conversation (IN THE HOUSE)- mostly as we scream at the TV watching the news about politics. :-) We don't talk like that outside and certainly not around children. I think its disgusting. Our neighbors across the street talk to their children exactly like what you wrote above. Except their words were "get your f'n a** in the house" and "you give me that sh*t again and I'll beat your a**" So they aren't swearing as if they were talking about other people, they are swearing at their kids. They are just a couple of pigs! Just sounds very very low class. My husband and I said if you talk to your children like that how are they going to be respectful as they grow (mind you we have no experience whatsoever raising kids, but we would never talk like that to our kids if we had any).
Yes I have children
Apparently you did not read my whole post.
Even little children need to feel they have some control over their lives ... like letting them pick between two different outfits for school, rather than telling them what they are wearing.
A safe and fair compromise is not a bad thing. The daughter will have to choose if she wants to cooperate or not. If she will not, there there is only so much you can do and she will have to experience the consequences.
Just because she has started handling her desire for independence in a not-so-great way does not mean she cannot do things differently after receiving more information and some thought. You have to allow teens the room to make smarter decisions along the way ... people DO learn and grow. That's the plan anyway. :)
I think I have to ban my mom from seeing my children (sm)
She lives 500 miles from us and sees them about twice a year usually, but every single time, she says inappropriate things around them. I end up asking her to please not tell them things like that and she gets angry at me and barely says anything for the rest of her visit. Yet the next time she sees them, it is the same thing all over again. It is as if she doesn't have a filter that tells her what to say and what not to say, and she talks incessantly. She talks about people who made her mad 30 years ago and what they did and she says it in a mean, angry voice and goes on and on. She talks about sexual things in front of them. She talks about ghosts and demons and how she has seen them and how the world is about to end, and on and on. Scaring them and also telling them things they shouldn't know. She started talking yesterday about my teenage nephew being propositioned by one of his friends who had decided he was gay....saying the boy asked him to "take his clothes off and do something". My 8 year old daughter started crying and told my mom it made her "feel weird" to hear that kind of stuff and to please not tell her anything else like that. My daughter knows what gay is but she doesn't understand why someone would want someone else to take their clothes off and she doesn't need to right now! Anyway, my mom went home last night but the kids are still asking once again about demons and ghosts and everything else. I love my mother but I am thinking from now on, I will go visit her by myself and not have her come here at all, and not let her see my kids until they are much older. Is this bad?
Boy men are such children - sm
my DH is a j*e*r*k like that too sometimes. He refuses to stay at my dad's house because he re-married so quickly after my mom died. (he wants to stay in hotel--which is very expensive where they live--....though we have not done it yet because as yet he has refused to go, so I go w/o him and the kids and I have lots of fun--he did go once 2 years ago though he made us stay at a friends apartment, very silly). There is more to it than that but that is a big part of it, and he thinks my stepmom's family thinks he is a loser. He is hung up on what people think about him and imagines slights, looks, etc. all the time, very hard to live with. But he know I will leave him in the dust and do what I want as he is acting like a 2-year-old. I would just go and not worry about him acting like a baby. If you stay home with him you will be mad, resent him for making you miss out spending time with your mom (which you will regret if something happened to her any time soon), and probably have a boring day at home while he watched football all day and you cook or twiddle your thumbs. He will probably never be the bigger person and bite his tongue and go, though he should. Men really are babies though at times.
Yea me and him have no children but
he does have a child of his own from a previous relationship. But his son does not like me and has nothing to do with me so I don't consider him of my child. He doesn't speak to me. I won't even get started on those issues.
I have 2 children. The first, a boy,
natural birth, lasted 12 hours, was very painful for me, at the end I was so weak - when I started out with my pregnancy I was underweight - that they had to inject me something that made my final contractions stronger.
The second, a girl, epidural. By far easier, but took also 12 hours. Most important is to get a gynecologist who has lots of experience with epidural deliveries. After the delivery I had in some trouble, I really felt bad until my system got rid of the anesthetic.
If I had to do it a 3rd time, I would definitely choose the epidural.
She would not get the children, not next of kin
even if put in will. I saw a picture of her and she looks strange herself, doesn’t she?
Happy Children
You don't know me or my children so you can't have any idea if they are happy or not.
And they are, very happy. They don't complain, they do what is needed and they have their activities, work, school, etc. They have great social lives and live life very fully, but with the expectation that things are done a certain way and if they aren't,there are reperucussions.
See my post above in a new thread, if you expect little, you get litte. It's that simple.
How is them staying together better for the children?
It would have been best for the children if these too goofs had used effective birth control and not brought innocent people into the mix, but since they did the best thing for those kids is to get K-Fed out of their lives as much as possible and hopefully Britney has the sense to hire a good nanny because she's no prize either.
I say mandatory sterilization is a great idea for these two clueless, selfish, immature, irresponsible people who had no business reproducing.
I don't have "kids" I have children
My children are goats, please don't call them "kids". Also, I never "whipped out a tit" as was posted earlier, I breast fed. My children weaned around 3 years old. The child on the plane was 22 months - just a bit shy of 3. Again, if you keep your face out of my breasts, you won't be able to see them.
meant to say other children not other other. nm
x
What about her 2 small children?
That is what really bugs me about her and her behavior. What kind of role model is this for her children?? Just irks me to death what she has been doing. I do not care that she has a nanny or someone watching those kids. Why did she have them????? if all she wanted to do was party and act like a spoiled brat?
I have had 11 pregnancies have two children....sm
There really is nothing anyone can say to you to offer you comfort...the words do mean something but it is a pain unlike any other I have ever had to endure....but I do believe God has a plan for everything, though I am not able to understand it. I can still feel the pain everytime someone around me would become pregnant and I would have to put on my "happy" face for them (and I was truly happy for them) and then go home and fall into my husband's arm and cry my heart out not understanding why....most of my miscarriages were within the first trimester and there was never any reason found...hormones always checked out....it just happened. Don't blame yourself and hold tight to your husband!
Then they need to pay for their own children, drugs,
alchol, whatever they want to do. Pay your own way, I have no problem with that.
I have heard children
"bark" at people! you can't control the outside world once again!
Children in restaurants
Changing the subject here - Jennifer, you are so right. Children in nice restaurants acting out, with their parents ignoring them so they can enjoy THEIR meals, is one of my pet peeves. From the looks I observe on other people's faces, I would guess that a lot of people feel this way. When we go to Denny's, we expect this. However, when my husband takes me to a really nice restaurant for a relaxing meal, that is the last thing we want to see or hear!
especially in front of children
Once I was waiting of food at Taco Bell and a girl was talking to an employee and bragging about how when she worked in another restaurant she and her co-workers stole so much "sh*t" over and continued to repeat the word as well a further other words my son didn't need to hear. Finally I said "Please, he is only 9, can you talk about something else. She did shut up after that.
My children were not breast fed and
incredible stable and social. They are both straight A students and are very well-rounded. Breast milk does many things, but it doesn't make a child perfect.
Hiring your own children
Does any one know where I can get information on the laws of hiring your own child to work for you?
When going to Montego Bay, I took not only my children
but also my daughters little friend down the street so she would have a playmate while there. My son was 15, my daughter 8 and the little neighbor girl around 10. This was in the 80s so times have changed. We could use our birth certificates then but that is thing of past. If you don’t have a passport by now unless getting in fast line and paying much more, probably could not have for summer. By the way, I took all 3 of the above on many trips to Florida, Walt Disney World and the like, Daytona, traveling to many locations so most times I like the pools myself.
children are dependents, their needs come first-
nm
Children's e-mails
I was wondering if any of you check your children's e-mails, or if your husband might do so. My husband goes through and reads my girls' e-mail and then cleans out the in-box. I understand wanting to know what their doing and who their talking to, but to me, that is a little over the top. It's like he is a control freak.
My MIL had 3 children by the time she was 21.
She went on to have 8 more and they all turned out fine and for the most part successful. I don't think it is the age that matters but the person.
children's literature
What was your favorite children's book when you were growing up? 
Sad state of children
Good for the boys who have been guided under your scout leadership. They will truly have a gift to pass on to their children some day. My boys are 8 and 10, both cub scouts, the oldest crossing over at the end of this year. Most of the boys at school feel that scouting is just for those who are not popular and laugh at it. Fortunately, my oldest son is assertive enough to smile and let them know that he is proud and feels fortunate to belong to scouts, even stating that some day he hopes to be an Eagle Scout who will become President. He has learned so much from scouting--including the true meaning of RESPECT and practices it on those who do not even deserve it. We have to keep plugging away to keep these values in our children, so many kids are lost with parents who are lost. Thank you for your years of dedication and teaching....maybe with one child at a time we can turn this sad trend around.
That's right!! When children are hungry (sm)
It doesn't matter who is right or wrong - it's not their fault. You can't just leave them like that. Believe me, I grew up starving. We did not get a lot of help because people were trying to teach my parents a lesson--guess what? They didn't learn and we suffered.
sounds like the children may have
some separation anxiety. I suffered from that as a child and as I recall when I was forced to do overnights other than with my parents I had a really hard time with it. I don't think forcing a child to do something they don't want to do builds character or anything like that...I remember it feeling like torture. I was just more comfortable with my family routine and comfortable if my parents stayed overnight with me, but that is it. I wouldn't make them go unless you plan to stay overnight too. JMO
I don't have children old enough for college yet, but
I did hear that there are all sorts of scholarships out there, you just have to know where to look. Maybe someone else will know exactly how to find them, but I remember hearing that there's some sort of book out (maybe try googling)where you can get a scholarship just (as an example) for being Polish or Italian and some places give out scholarships for the oddest things. Good luck. My daughter wants to be a vet, and the school she'll want to go to Cornell is so expensive, if she doesn't get a scholarship there's no way we can afford it.
Oh but don't you understand, just like my children
my dog is a genuis. LOL! I guess you could explain the fact that he went and layed by the door as soon as he heard Dr. Phil come on. LOL!
what about your children? I know how hard
divorce is on children. I have the most beautiful children. They are well-behaved, respectful and happy. Do I trade my happiness for theirs??? Is that FAIR to them? My first step is I am going to separate our money. No more will I be subject to this. He is a poor money manager and I cannot deal with it anymore. I don't feel bad about doing that at all. But I do worry about the effects on the children. They are VERY STABLE AND THEIR LIVES ARE SO GOOD. I am not sure I can do that to them right now.
Grown Children
True, not all families are the Cleavers. However, your tone comes accross very unloving towards your children. I find that sad. My oldest son (29) died in an accident. Open up and let your children get to know you before it is too late. Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short.
Lilly
But we need to subject our children
Is it fair for me (with no education in teaching) to try to teach my child, die, and then expect my child to do well as an adult in this society? No way. Let them live and learn as I did. Homeschooling, in my opinion (again my opinion) is like the MA and PA days where there wasn't enough room at the schools or there weren't enough educated teachers coming in on a wagon to teach the children on the prairie.
I'm glad my kids go to public school. The high school I attended had a lot of kids that came from private school because the high school was vo-tech, so the parents felt the kids were getting better than public school. Those kids that came from the private schools knew more about sex and drugs than I did growing up in the public school system. I guess their parents had the money, and I guess the kids felt penned up, I don't really know the cause.
Never would I expect my children to go out and get a job or even survive one minute in college without an education from a school system. I don't care to hear about home school curriculums either because I'm focused more on the socialization. I don't want my children to be introverts or homebodies! Let them see the world for themselves and for what it truly is, a melting pot, something to be experienced, a beautiful thing, and to avoid negativity at all costs, but to experience some just to learn from it. JMO. P.S.: Thanks for listening.....
flu in children advice please
I or my children have never been diagnosed with the flu so I do not know what it is. My 9 year old son has severe environmental allergies and takes allergy shots. So, when he started coughing and running a fever of 101 this weekend I thought he was just getting a URI or sinus infection. Then he threw up late last night...and this morning. My question is..does the flu start out as like coughing/sneezing/watery eyes then progress to the vomiting? He hasn't had body aches at all.
tia
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