Alarmist indeed. We'll have to see tomorrow just how bad it sm

• Just heard that a massive tidal wave (or Tsunami) is headed for England's coast and sm - Reporter
  • cut and paste link updated q15minutes - nana
  • You guys are bad. It is the truth. Check BBC for yourself. - nm
    • For an hour after OP, it was no where. - Now it is but
  • Read the article, and it's not a tsunami - - so this post was a bit on the alarmist side.
    • Alarmist indeed. We'll have to see tomorrow just how bad it sm - Well...
  • She has news channel no one else has? - Me
  • Where was the earthquake that caused it? - nm - San Francisco
    • Aha! Found the answer! Not a quake, but strong winds, - sm - San Francisco
  • FOXNEWS.COM is now reporting it as headlines. I told you. nm - Reporter
  • I just read this on Reuters. sm - Reporter
  • I am watching CNN and no word there. nm - oldtimer
  • This is NOT a joke. I do not joke like this. See this link sl - Reporter
    • My good friend has family over there -checked BBC, (sm) - Apologizer
  • There is nothing on the news. Is this a bad joke? - nm
  • OMG - are you kidding? - nm
    • This would be breaking new and not! - Bad joke

The messages you are viewing are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select the boards given in left menu

Thank you everyone!  It has been great reading all of your responses!  Goodnight!!  "See" you all tomorrow!

Hugs,

Chickadee

If you want to go "out west" try the coast of California.  No snow there, but snow in Colorado.

a six-month tour of duty fighting to keep us all free!  He just got married before he left in November and everyone is doing little dances all over the place!!!   GOOD FOR YOU, John Michael.

I moved here with 9 cats, and I've got 18 now. Long story, but two of the ladies were outdoor cats (one was a feral) and they were "in the mood for love."

Now there's Lil Rust, Baby Face, Tuxedo, BC (stands for black cat), Dusty (resumbles a cotton puff with legs and a face), Gypsy, Willow, and Gizmo. Scooter found a home.

Anyone get the impression that I love cats?

What you see is what you get. That is what they told me in ground training for my private pilot; of course, they were referring to the weather, but it holds true for a lot of other things and situations.

One thing about long-relationships that I have learned is that the only person you can "change" is yourself. So, if your significant other has any kind of habit or personality quirk that "bothers" you before entering into marriage, that same issue will be there after you've married no matter what the other person "promises" to do or don't do.

My boss once called me into his office (I thought I was in trouble again!) and asked my opinion about his marrying his girlfriend. He said he wanted to marry her, "take care of her," but that he could not "stand" the fact that she smoked. He also said that she promised to quit smoking after they got married. I told him basically the same thing, what you see is what you get. I also told him that to expect her to change, even with the promise of doing so, was unrealistic and that he would have to accept her as she is...smoking and all, even after the marriage. No matter what quirks the other person has before the marriage, they'll still have the same quirks after the marriage. She did try to give up the smoking; however, she eventually failed and resumed the smoking. Apparently, it was more than he could stand, and they ultimately divorced. Of note, he was a control-type freak whose idea of socialization was snuggling up to the TV set and eating pizza, and she was a free-spirited social being who liked to be around a lot of people. He did do some socializing, going out dancing, going out to eat, etc. to placate her, which was really totally against his nature. He knew beforehand what the issues were but chose to go ahead with the marriage, thinking that he could get her to change. She did'nt. What he saw before the marriage was what he got after the marriage.

The issue then becomes not what the other person will do to compromise but what you will accept, knowing full well what the other person's habits and quirks are and how far you are willing to go to accept that fact and be comfortable with those issues. If you are uncomfortable now and feel this is a significant issue for you, this will be the same after the marriage. Don't expect him to change. The only person you can change is yourself.

You can either accept him as he is and you, yourself, do the compromising, or you can move on to find yourself a more compatible life partner. If you choose to continue the relationship, however, do not feel guilty about "dragging" him along to any social events or worry about his socializing with the others. If he truly did not want to go, he wouldn't have gone in the first place. Maybe that would be his way of compromising for your issues.

Walking away from somebody you really think you love is tough. I've done it, and it does hurt for a while, but it is a whole lot less hurtful than divorcing. As I look back upon that decision, I know that it was the right thing to do. There will always be a "soft spot" in my heart for him, but I know that I could never really stand "to stomach" some of his quirks on a regular, life-long basis.

You need to do a lot of soul-searching about this. I wish you peace and happiness no matter what your decision is.

Margo

Deep breath.  In.  Out.  Okay.  You'll be okay.  Be as calm as you can to the investigator.  Explain it like you did here and they'll definitely see the truth.  Cleaning the house sucks, I know, but you'll get that done, too.  If the crap your husband has left around is too much to fit in the trash dumpster, see if you can sneak it into a store's dumpster at night.  Or an office building who doesn't lock theirs.  I used to take stuff to the dumpster at the office where I worked and even after I left, I took stuff there a couple of times.

Frankly, everything that was his would be in the trash.  If it hasn't been touched in the last 6 months, it has to go.  Get the kids involved, too - especially if they're on board with you and hubby splitting up, which if I remember correctly, they are. 

Good luck.  You'll be okay and you'll come through this onto the other side.

Keep us posted as to how things go, okay?