Advice needed - school incident
Posted By: sm on 2008-09-30
In Reply to:
Okay, I will try to make this short. We send our son to Catholic school. We are Catholic but we also love the atmosphere, i.e. safe and a good community environment. He is in second grade.
When I pick him up today, he tells me this classmate girl has stabbed him in the arm with her pencil! He had to have an ice pack on it for an hour and it still hurts him. She poked thru his shirt and now it's bruised with a red mark in the center. She has a short fuse and apparently was mad that he was invading her "space." They have 4 stations at one table, so it could be difficult for a child to discern where one space ends and another begins.
I am pi**ed off about this.
1. The school didn't call me, but the they did the other mother.
2. The girl's mother (whom I know) hasn't called me about it.
3. I spoke with the principal briefly because his teacher had left by the time I got there, but he is going to talk to the girl and my son about it tomorrow and about personal space. She was in his office for an hour until dismissal today.
I know if it was my kid, I would be calling that mother right up and apologizing. I am so ticked off right now about it that I am worried if I do call, I will lose my cool.
The other thing is this: We have always taught our son to respect others and treat others how you would want to be treated. He has a good moral compass. He is also a big and tough kid. We have always taught him to never hurt others unless it's in self defense. I feel as if they are brushing this off because he is a boy. I think if the shoe was on the other foot and he did it to her, it would be bad news. All hubby and I know is that we don't want it happening again. How do we get our point across? SHould I call the mom and tell her that? My son told me this is not the first time she has done this (poking with the pencil) but it is the first time it hurt like this. She could have gotten him in the eye or hurt someone else altogether! I don't think she belongs in that school if she continues to act that way. The school doesn't have a special needs program.
I am so mad right now I could spit.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Bulemic teenager - advice needed...sm
I've suspected for a while that my soon to be 16 stepdaugher is bulemic but her dad doesn't believe it. Right after she eats a meal she goes to the bathroom and stays a long time. She has lost about 40 lbs over the past year. Today while doing laundry I found a note that she wrote and says:
Eat & Die. No eat for a week (in & out) Lose 10 lbs. Eat again.
I am going to share this with my hubby when he calls while on a lunch break from work. Perhaps now he'll believe me. I've called the pediatrician's office and left a message for them to call me with the name of a psychologist treating eating disorders to take her to.
Any ideas of how to handle him if he still is in denial? I'm sure the stepdaughter will deny the eating disorder... she did before when I asked her about it. Overall she & I do have a good relationship but this is an area I know she's not being honest about.
Thanks to everyone for your awesome advice and much needed support. I showed up at my son's SM
school yesterday afternoon and went with him to his last three classes of the day which happen to the ones he's doing the worst in. He was mortified, mad, and I thought his head would pop off. I think I made my point. After school, I went with him to his English class because she asked that he stay after so she could help him catch up on his assignments. So I sat in the back of the class while my son and his teacher worked. And while I sat there I decided to write out some rules.
Last night my son and I sat down and talked and he said he'd do anything I asked him to do if I would please never come to his school again. I simply said that depends on you and we left it at that. I grounded him indefinitely - until I get some good reports back from his teachers. No TV, no video games, no friends over, or telephone.
I don't know what will happen, but I have to say I feel pretty good just by taking control of the situation and going to his school. A couple of weeks ago I was saying "what am I supposed to do, go to school and follow him around??!?" And now I know that answer is yes, if that's what I have to do. I feel less stressed.
Thanks to everyone!
Parenting advice needed! I am losing my mind with my 14yo son. SM
He is so smart. I got his first grade card a couple of weeks ago, 2 Fs (Science and Computer Lit) and a D+ in English. The rest of his grades were acceptable. The problem isn't that he doesn't understand the subject matter in these classes, but that he simply doesn't do the work, doesn't turn in homework assignments, NOTHING!
I started having trouble with him last year and he barely passed the 7th grade. Now, here it is the beginning of a new school year and he's doing the exact same thing. He's grounded, of course, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to him. Last night his English teacher called to tell me he hasn't turned in any assignments since the beginning of the new quarter, that he simply sits there at his desk doing nothing while the rest of the class works. She said he seems to be easily distracted.
When I talk to him about school, he gives me attitude. Last night after I hung up with the English teacher, I was very angry, and proceeded to ground him longer and took away his IPod. He had the audacity to say "mom, you're really making me mad (only he didn't say "making me mad"). I took step toward him because I was about ready to slap his disrespectiful mouth and he said "you better not lay a hand on me." He threatened me! So I basically took a deep breath and said "son you do not want to take me on." And then I proceeded to tell him that he would be staying after school with his English teacher until further notice and that I will be picking him up every day after school to make sure he brings home all his books and homework.
I don't know what else to do. I have asked his teachers to keep me informed via email cause I'm always at my computer during the day. His Science teacher just emailed me and said he didn't turn in his assignment today. After all that last night and he STILL didn't turn in his assignment!
I tried to be understanding because he's at a new school in a new town, but socially he's happier than I've seen him in a long time. He has made a bunch of new friends, he's planning on going out for the basketball team. At first I tried to blame his attitude problems on the move and the new school, but he was doing the exact same thing last year at his old school. His dad and I have separated and maybe that has something to do with it, but life has been less stressful without his dad here, even my son has said so.
Please give me some advice. I've thought about talking to the school counseling, going to family counseling, having my son see a therapist. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm failing as a parent here and I don't know what to do.
Thanks for letting me spill my guts.
Need advice - ex has pulled my kid out of school re MRSA scare
My son lives with his dad 500 miles away. It was his birthday today, he's 13 and in 8th grade. I called to wish him happy birthday. He said his dad had pulled him out of school due to paranoia about MRSA (staph infections) outbreaks. I asked him if there'd been any in his school, he said no, just some of the surrounding communities. He said his dad won't let him go back to school until the school "does something abou it". The ex got on the phone demanding I look up two vaccinations for it online and give my opinion "because I'm in the health field". I type radiology, for goodness sake, and even if I was familiar with the names of the drugs, it doesn't mean I'd know all about them just because I could spell them!
Upon researching this, it appears the chances of getting fatal MRSA are pretty slim, and I had much more chance getting it when I worked on site in the hospital than my son does (son does not play sports if he can keep from it). I think my ex is off the deep end, and I'm afraid I might have to take him to court (again) to force him to let the child go to school. His school is closed tomorrow so I'll have to wait until Monday to call them and see how long my son has actually been absent.
Anybody have any advice for me? How long should I give my ex to work through his paranoia before I call a lawyer (again)? Has anyone else taken their kids out of school over this?
Your opinion about an incident between me and (sm)
We went to the mall & I was planning to use my Victoria's Secret gift card that I got from my husband for V-day - on the way there she said, "Now we need to talk about what I saw on Oprah and how confidence in yourself affects how you look, it's all in your mind." (I am somewhat overweight) I told her that I was fine with myself and not to worry about it. Then walking inside the mall she said "I have to get this girl who works in there to help you, she's so cool." I said I didn't want anyone to help me, I just wanted to look around.
So we get inside and she sees her girl and says, "go over and ask her to help you." I said, "no, I don't want to." So she walks over to the lady and says, "can you help her?" and I said, "no, no thank you I just want to shop by myself." But she STILL doesn't let it go and continues with, "come over here and ask her." I said, "no." She said it AGAIN!! I said, "no thanks, nevermind, I will shop later or online." and walked out. My friend tried to call me back in the store!! So I am standing in the hall feeling like a goofball saying, "Susan, come on I don't want to shop there right now." So she comes out in the hall and wants to discuss it, asking me, "what did I do?" I told her that I was an adult and if I want to ask someone to help me I will, if I do not, I will not, and she shouldn't have kept it up. So then she started crying because she made me feel bad. Oh, brother.
I will admit that she had a couple of glasses of wine before we left but she does that regularly and seemed like her normal self.
I think I was partially self-conscious because of my current weight but then to add insult to injury we had to call attention to it and ask the lady to help me so she could show me where the larger stuff was? It was all mixed in together so she would have had to walk around helping me look at each item. Grrrrr.
We are both around 40 years old and she usually doesn't act like this but she made me feel as if she thought I was incompetent. She wouldn't stop being upset over the fact that she had upset me, and kept asking what she had done wrong, even after I tried to explain it to her. So finally I just said it was my own issue with my weight and that she didn't do anything wrong....sheesh.  What do you think happened there???
I called my mom right after the incident...sm
I told her. She keeps a loaded gun in her car and one in house. She comes to my house after work a lot. When she is at home, the doors are locked, and the shades are closed. Deadbolts locked. Sheriff has been informed of his issues and they said if he gives any problems at her house to call 911 and someone will come pick him up. She is prepared to shoot him if need be.
Sad but true. Welcome to my world.
Unless your son was involved in the incident, they probably would not inform you.
If the schools had to inform all parents of every single incident that occured between students, that could be a full-time job unto itself for 2 or 3 people in some schools. It sounds like the school took proper measures in disciplining the students involved in the incident.
As far as the post below regarding the 4th grade girl and her lies, I am sure that the boy in question knew what she was saying and may or may not have told his parent(s). At any rate, that would be a matter for the families of the children involved.
This reminds me of an incident a couple of
months ago. My parents live 4 hours away and won't come visit but maybe twice a year because their horses mean more than their grandkids seem to. With upcoming Thanksgiving, my husband and some of his buddies are going hunting Thanksgiving day. I told them all that the kids and I will cook while they are gone and when they get back from the woods that evening, we will have a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends and their girlfriends/wives, etc. At a family function a couple of months ago, my husband's niece comes up to me and asks me what we are doing for Thanksgiving so I told her. She said she was trying to remember to invite all the "lonely people". Now, my parents may not come down but who says we are lonely??? I too went through many years of crying because we didn't have that Martha Stewart Christmas.
A link to the incident you reference...
... but I don't know the answer to your question.
http://www.typetechtyping.com/article.htm
(The offshore MT threatened to put UCSF patient records on the internet if she didn't get paid, and she e-mailed them some reports to prove she had them.)
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.
I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.
Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
They probably figure if Marcel wins, he won't sue the show for that incident.
But I will not miss Sam, Mr. No Personality Whatsoever, at all. I seriously think he needs a little Prozac or something :)
"Tone" post not just for this incident/moment. Refer
x
Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
Needed nt
--
Thank you so much...I needed that. nm
x
I needed this
I read this today and loved it: If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
Thank you!! That is EXACTLY what I needed to know sm
I have 2 dogs, one who is VERY furry and I was concerned about dog hair cloggage.
Thanks for taking the time with all the great info :-)
Yes, he needed to go.
I don't know how Scott stayed in as long as he did. Nowhere near the talent of the others, although I believe the the two top contestants are Adam and Alison, who are miles above the rest. I think Adam is an amazing talent and should win. He is the only reason I am watching AI this season. Otherwise, it has gotten extremely boring. I never did understand the enthusiasm for Danny Gokey. Good voice, but he does not appeal to me at all.
You may not believe this and probably will not but thought you needed some help the other day
as I was reading the posts. You certainly came across not just as a person who was grieving but with the last post about the person committing suicide, I was thinking this does not sound exactly right. If I felt depressed and/or suicidal and felt like I could not handle things, your emergency room would probably see you and refer you to someone and then you would probably wind up waiting again. I doubt they would do anything specific for you. There are some 800 hot line crisis centers you can call.
Thanks so much to you all. I KNEW I needed help! :-)
x
FOOD IS NEEDED!
I volunteer at a food cupboard twice a month. Today I went in to fill requests for families in need, and the shelves of our little interfaith cupboard were nearly empty. It was a struggle to get together some basic items for four families.
This is a problem with food cupboards all over the country. At holiday times, food drives are held and shelves are full. Even during the school year, more donations come in as school and youth groups run food drives to help those in need. But during summer, donations slow to a trickle as people are busy with summertime activities or away on vacation. Food drives are forgotten, but people still need your help.
If you can, please consider donating to your local food cupboard. Anything you can give would be appreciated. Even a couple boxes of cereal or a jar of peanut butter can make a difference!
Thanks again so much..I needed to hear this.
A day doesn't go by that I don't pray for a miracle. As the obvious enabler, I just always feel if I helped her just this one last time, this would be the time she turns it all around and I want to be there for her. Everything positive she does, I praise her, only to be crushed the next minute for it was just a mirage. It wasn't really there. Every night I have gone to bed saying a pray that we can just get through another day, and honestly, some days, I wasn't sure that I wanted to wake up. I just couldn't do it one more minute. When you love someone with everything you have and realize it still is not enough, that right there is the most devastating feeling ever. For every tear she has cried, I've cried thousands. I try to be strong so she thinks I am uncaring. If only she could see or feel what I feel inside. If love could have saved her, she would be. I am going to put it in God's hand because I have nothing left to give. Everyone wonders how and why I have survived and gone through what I have..and honestly, I have no idea. I hate the thought that it has become such a habit that I just expect it. I wait for the calls to come every day, as they will, on the next crisis. I wait for my day to be ruined and that is one of the reasons that I chose to work at home. I was embarrassed when she would call me 15 times at work, even though I told her not to, or she'd show up. Just barge through my office. I've gotten beyond what people think, but I know my friends understand and love me for me. Thanks for listening. Another dark day. Sadly, I have had to pretend to be on vacations so she won't come around trying to manipulate me but then she calls me nonstop on my vacations to send her money. It honestly never stops and I don't think it ever will. Please everyone say a prayer for me...
OMG! Thanks for that. Needed the laugh!!!
XX
Thank you so much for your kindness. It's just what I needed sm
right now. I've never been one to have the "victim mentality" although I can see how my post probably came off that way. They never gave me a chance from the start so you hit it right on when you called it a tribe mentality. I think a lot of it is jealousy - as my mom points out - I had that a lot growing up because I tend to get along with everyone - not a jealous bone in my body - and I can tend to irritate those who "don't like everyone" or who have sour attitudes.
When the poster said that she found it hard to believe that all 3 hate me for NO REASON I didn't want to respond because they do hate me for no reason. If you were to ask them why they don't like me or want me around their answer is, "just because I don't."
Anyways, your post was very kind and I am thankful for it. God bless you!
Gift help needed....
For my hubby's company Christmas party this year, we need to take a wrapped gift ranging in price of $18 and $22. They are doing the "everyone pick a gift" sorta thing. So, it will need to be for male or female, ranging in ages from 20-60. See my dilemma? I am thinking a gift card wrapped in a huge box. LOL
I would appreciate your suggestions!
Thanks!
No electric needed.
If they sleep together, they dont need electric heat, body heat will be enough. I would build a "cave" of strawbales, toss in some loose straw and there ya go. I wouldnt use blankies as if they get wet, they will freeze. Like lying on an ice cubes Mostly, dogs just need to be out of.the wind. If they dont sleep together, just build 2 caves. Either way, should be snug so body heat will build a pocket of warmth around dog.
sweet....I needed that
nm
opinion needed
(some background info) My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years, been together for 15 years. He has a friend whom he has been friends with since high school. His friend is married and we have become somewhat friends as a couple. I really don't like these people but I have NEVER let them know this. Its really that I don't respect the things that they do, on the other hand they are very nice and would do anything for you so I tolerate them. They have a garage that is full of pictures of naked girls so I don't allow my children in there (my husband doesn't get this but that's another issue altogether) and they are very "sexual" with each other regardless of who is around them (again I don't like my children seeing this). Needless to say unless I can find a babysitter for my kids I don't generally like to go to their house. Well my husband turned 40 last week and this couple wanted to take him out for his birthday. Apparently they started planning this with my husband a few weeks before his actual birthday. My problem is I wasn't invited. I could see if it was just the guys but the fact that the husband and wife were taking my husband out along with another friend (male) and I wasn't invited bothers me. It immediately made me think that they were taking him to a strip club (which I don't like him to go to, again another issue in itself). My husband wasn't going to go but then Friday he decided he was going. I once again asked him who was going and he said the couple and a friend, still not invite for me. I confronted him with it when he got home from work and told him that I wasn't mad at him but very irritated with the fact that I wasn't invited. He replied that maybe his friend didn't think I could get a sitter to go out (which I am very fortunate and I NEVER have any problems getting a sitter) but that he wouldn't go. He didn't say "geez hon, of course your invited, lets get a sitter and both go", nope he just said "i won't go". A week or so before this he went to this friends house for a football game/party, again I wasn't invited, my husbands reply was "well you don't like football", I feel I should have been able to make my own decision as to whether or not I wanted to go whether I like football or not. Then today for the superbowl my husband tells me he is giong to a party at a coworkers house and then he will be home. Then later a friend of his comes to the house and she's gonna go with him oh but no they aren't going to the friend's house they are going to a different friends house, then the pub and then will be home by halftime, too bad I have to work and can't go. I guess at first I thought it was the first friend who wasn't inviting me and now I'm thinking my husband just doesn't want to be around me. What would you do? I have stayed very calm through all this but its really grating on my nerves now and I was hoping to get some opinions. Thanks so much...
I definitely needed him a few weeks ago.
Definitely HOT. What did you think of the season finale?
Thanks for the site! Just what we needed! (nm)
Why did they say your dog needed a bath?
I just throw my collie mix outside when it rains and maybe take him to the groomer 2 or 3 times a year. If he was rolling around in mud and dead animals, that would be different.
LOL. Thanks. I needed that after the morning I just had. nm
Ok for all us that diagnose others sometimes, help needed here
I have some symptoms here and hoping maybe some of you have heard of before and can give me some "diagnosing." I do it myself quite a bit. Like I told my aunt, after doing this before the telephone was invented, sometimes we hear so much and pick up on things so hopefully someone out there can give me a hand. Here we go and thanks so much:
Pain on my right hand side around my rib cage, it's not a constant pain, I feel it when I take deep breaths.
Pain around abdomen when having a bowel movement
Slight pain in abdomen when walking
Some abdomen pain comes on suddenly while sitting still but not often.
A pain in or around my neck that is noticeable when I burp.
Needed that one for today. Thanks!!! NM.
NM
BCP helped me immensely, but I needed to take sm
something for nausea for the first week. Can't remember what it was, but it really helped. It was an antinausea med for pregnant women. You should see a gynecologist, though, to see if you have something that could be causing the pain, like endometriosis, or even cervical stenosis (what I had) which was helped with a D&C. Don't suffer. Life is too short.
What's shocking is that a rule is needed.
Many here have acted like this is normal behavior and should be excused and there are reasons for it, etc. Sure there are.........and there also many, many kids who do it to be obnoxious and so it has become a problem - like so many other things - but these parents continue to excuse their kids.
how many of you needed scholarships for college
tuition for you or a child and didn't qualify - did ya know the illegal immigrants are getting them? That's when I went off!
This will be total and much needed catharsis....
I am almost 54 years old and the permeating thought in my brain is that I am "a monstrosity," something my mother called my sister and I because we were tall. My father is still alive at 86 and says about some "pretty little thing." THAT drives me INSANE because I am not. He asks when I am going to play piano for him, and I laugh, but I think, "Never, because you have always criticized me." Still does. God help us all. That's the thing that has totally messed up my brain. I am a "monstrosity" and will never be a "pretty little thing." There. Now I have said it on the internet.
But, FYI, I am not a tall humongous woman, I am just tall and not a "pretty little thing." There, I typed it and that's almost like saying it out loud.
This thread ROX!
No reality check needed here (sm)
as far as any animal abuser goes. These are not little children--these are TEENAGERS. Dollars to doughnuts they've done this before....They were just caught this time.
You are right, cats are animals and not people. Animals cannot speak for themselves. They cannot call anyone for help. They cannot defend themselves against the ultimate predator--us, but yet we brought them into this world to make our lives richer. It is therefore our responsibilty to ensure their safety.
You are fortunate you can stay naive to such atrocities commited against animals and can shrug it off as just a couple of messed up girls who need a hug. It's just a newspaper clipping to you.
Divine intervention needed.... sm
Neatly stenciled white letters on brown sawhorse by side entrance to local church:
HANDYCAPPED PARKING
Bathtub opinions needed please!
Hi ladies! We are building a new house and our contractor needs to know the dimensions of our new tub in the master bath so he can build the platform around it. My husband has now decided it would be easier to just put in one of those stand alone claw foot tubs. I do not like them, but we are selling the house in 2 years and building another one for our permanent home. So I need opinions. Do you like the looks/functionality of these types of tubs or would you prefer a normal soaking tub with a ceramic surround? Don't hold back, I need honest opinions. Thanks!
My kids mostly got clothes, which they really needed sm
My son't (17) fav gift was a 20.00 indoor remote control helicopter. He has had so much fun with it. When my daughter (14) was shopping for a cousin she saw a Doodle Bear and went on and on about how much she loved hers when she was younger. DH got her one (I didn't even know about it) and that was was her fav. gift.
LOL. Thanks, I needed the laugh today...nm
Thank you. That's how I feel also and I just needed to hear it from others.
nm
That was great. Needed a good laugh
today. Thanks.
Help Needed on Taxes/Finance Board
http://forum.mtstars.com/misc/b/7.html
PS! - I knew I needed reading-glasses when - sm
my boyfriend & I would sit in restaurants across the table from each other, each of us holding up the menu for the other one to read. (He needed them, too.) The waitress came up and said, "Honey, you need reading glasses!"
Yeah, I really needed a 'pick-me-up' tonight...
|
