Actually we can all tell which posts are from "you"
Posted By: Paranoid MT on 2008-02-19
In Reply to: How do you know who I am? You sound - paranoid too. LOL!!!
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Goldbird
Other men say "you lucky dog" sm
but personally I find it creepy when a man marries a woman that much younger than him. Either she's a golddigger or she has "issues." And so does he.
I should know. After I left home, my father divorced my mother and a few years later he married a woman who was only a year older than I was at the time.
I'm talking ISSUES.
"you make me want to be a better man"
As Good as it Gets
Would that be "you're next" ??
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When "discussing" here, we try to keep "you" out
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who is "you guys" ?
If you are talking about Christians, then NOPE, we are NOT always saying that. God is not in all of us. That sounds like something Oprah would say actually. God is in those who believe in his son Jesus Christ. John 3:16, read that.
Yes. The formula is you say, "You have X amount for
When she runs out, she does without until her budget allows more entertainment money.
It isn't about the money, though. Her issue is with learning priorities for needs versus wants.
You've waited a little late if she's 22. My boys budgeted their money as mid teens and as young men do great.
Kids usually learn spending habits from parents - by example or by allowance.
Copied this so it is not to "you" just some rules.
Get ready for a big surprise: According to traditional American etiquette, wedding gifts are purely optional. That's why it's uncouth to include any mention of gifts with your invitation—it comes across like you're expecting a gift.
Asking for Monetary Gifts
You’re planning a bridal shower, and let’s face it – the bride and groom have been living together for three years, already accumulating at least two blenders and a toaster oven. What they could really use is some extra cash (they’ve been dying to remodel their bathroom.) However, blatantly asking for specific gifts – monetary or otherwise – is in poor taste. Just imagine an invitation that reads: “I could really use some new shoes – please send me some strappy sandals.” (Just because Carrie Bradshaw got away with it does not make it ok!) What you can do is let guests know if they ask that the bride prefers cash gifts. Send shower invites without registry information; inquiring guests will ask where the couple is registered, presenting a perfect opportunity to respond with the bride’s preference. Some guests will still prefer to give a tangible gift, so the couple should register for a few items. Avoid drawing attention to the cash with a “money tree,” or other cash-displaying gimmick, so guests bringing tangible gifts don’t feel awkward. Simply display all cards and gifts together for the bride to open and acknowledge.
Bottom line? The happy bride-to-be should always remember to feel privileged, not entitled.
Giving Monetary Gifts
You’re sorting through your mail, and to your dismay discover a shower invitation with a cutesy rhyme such as...
…To make it easy for you
and avoid a shopping spree
We thought that we would have instead,
a little money tree…
Although this presents a clear breach of etiquette, it does not justify an uprising of the etiquette police. Pointing out another’s faux pas is just as rude as the original blunder. Here are your options:
Bring a monetary gift – If you choose to participate with a cash donation, give whatever you feel comfortable giving. The shower host will start the tree off for guests by tying a bill or small envelope on the tree, and guests will follow suit. There is usually no way to tell who gave what amount. In this instance, bring a card separate from the cash for the bride.
Bring a tangible gift – I say this with caution, because you don’t want to appear as if you’re protesting the shower theme. However, if you’ve put a lot of thought into selecting something memorable for the bride, take pride in presenting her with a thoughtful gift to acknowledge her upcoming nuptials.
For those who said "you might be in for a lawsuit" doesn't know what they sm
are talking about. My dad retired from law enforcement and they checked up on ALL of my boyfriends! LOL It is PUBLIC RECORD if they have done something illegally. The public has A RIGHT TO KNOW about a person's past history.
If your son doesn't dig up this info for you, just log onto zoominfo.com or something like that, and get all of the criminal records and past of any one who has a social security # or DOB. You're doing a good thing for her. I'm early 30s and I wish my mom and dad did more to protect me.
This is not a "you" problem. This is a "them"
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the weight loss one, "you just CAN'T
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"You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" -
:D
I doubt it is "you", they would hate any woman - sm
who married their brother since he probably became their father figure. Personally I would just ignore her/them. If family functions come up and they exclude you but your DH intends to go (which he should not w/o you; or tell them he won't attend unless you go), I would go anyway. Screw them. They want you to be miserable and you are. In time your kids will figure out what horrible people they are. AS for the comments on you not thanking your MIL, I would not even bother to respond. It's none of business either way. You know you thanked your MIL, sounds a bit excessive writing thank you notes though for a few hours of babysitting. I would just ignore all the stuff, she is just trying to drive you nuts and sounds like she is doing a good job. You need to take a step back, chill some, and remember you are a much better person than your SILs will ever be. Your DH should have put them in their place day 1 though. He is obviously spineless when it comes to his bullies for sisters. That is all they are, remember that next time you see the witches, nod, smile and walk away, then you will be driving them nuts when you do not appear heartbroken or crushed.
Dont forget "A Christmas Story" ("You'll shoot your
My dad said he actually did that frozen-tongue thing, too, on an axe, when he was a very young boy. He'd have LOVED this movie.
Where did all the posts on this go?!
This was a rather lengthy thread with a lot of feedback and support....but it all has disappeared. I noticed that happened with some other threads as well, like when admin shifts them from one heading to another (like a Word Help question getting posted under the Main Board). That's a drag because a lot of helpful things are getting lost in the shuffle 
According to the above posts, am just
glad it was lotion and nothing else… what about that Ben-Gay? I loved that one.
According to most of these posts
So no matter what means you got pregnant. Abortion is murder. I don't agree with that mentality. I believe in choice no matter what the circumstances.
Thanks everyone for your posts (sm)
I appreciate all of the info as you don't find a lot of the true problems experienced when researching on the net.
I would like not to have surgery, but I don't think my husband would be willing to get a vasectomy. I can't go the hormonal route and have been told I cannot have an IUD as I have never had children. So, I'm pretty much left with the TL option.
Thanks again all for taking the time to respond with such good information for me to consider.
It's right above the posts.....
with the autoimmune link, mental health link etc. It's the last one.
CANNOT SEE POSTS - WHAT IS GOING ON?
Any monitors out here? What is up?
Why do the above 2 posts have to keep up with
their daughter's periods- is that just to make sure you have enough feminine products or just why? Neither my mother nor I ever kept up with mine. Is this a new fad or is it wanting to know if your daughter gets pregnant or just why? Both the posts are really new to me.
Not so, those posts came in after
she posted it. Try again!
You don’t have to say it but your posts
come across strongly as really hoping for them not to go- you said showing them off- I guarantee the majority of grandparents want to show their g'kids off, either in person or in pictures they carry around. This is NOT unusual. Why do you find this strange? You have the undertones of not liking this person. Your children are picking up on this.
Thanks, I appreciate all the posts here
NM
Thanks to all for the posts!
I read each and everyone and cried with each. I know I am still in a sad state just a few months after her death and perhaps I have felt guilty because of the sadness. I do know I tried any and everything I could for her, when she got too weak to make it to the bathroom I carried her and helped her, I spoon fed her with baby food and more caloried kitten food when she was a grown cat, trying to help her regain weight, she was so thin at the end, I was her eyes when she had her stroke earlier which she recovered from and it has hurt me so bad, my heart still aches. I have replayed things in my head like 1 said- time and time again- especially of the fact that I did not hold her when she died- and 1 person said animals lots of time want to go away to die- I know this- but yet when another person on this line said that it helped me think well, ok, she might have wanted to be comfortable and alone - well she was just in the next room from me then. I realize that probably the guilt I have felt is possibly the fact I am still grieving over my loss. Gosh, I never knew a little furgirl would mean so much to me and how I loved her. Another person stated about think about the life I gave her and she probably would not have had- that is true because her mother (when pregnant) came to my door and oh course I let her come in with her babies and my furgirl was born at my home- so see we had been together all those 18 years. My husband got me 2 other brothers furguys and I do love them. I would like in my furgirls honor to adopt another homeless girl from our humane society and hope to do that before long- not to replace- no one can replace her but to give another 1 a good home. Thanks again everyone for the kind words- I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write.
Thank you all for your posts! Thanks!
Not being physically abused here, emotionally I feel like a dog on a leash-- a short one. All this info is like music to my ears. The house is in his name, but I do buy all the food/pay some of the bills -- insurance, internet and I pay for clothes ect for my children. I cannot thank you all enough. I will look into free legal help. I think that is in my state. We always had separate bank accounts so I'm okay there.
As you can see from all these posts,
it is very important to have a gynecologist skilled in epidurals.
I got my epidural immediately when I came to the hospital and 12 hours later I delivered. The epidural was in there the whole time, probably on a low dose. I had no pain at all. After giving birth I felt bad and I vomited, maybe from the morphine. The nurse kept sitting at my bedside for 2 hours, engaging me in conversations, she told me I should not go to sleep, only after 2 hours, this was a little strange to me.
This what is, the 2nd day I got up and 2 days later I went home. I had never had any bad after effects, no pain on the insertiion point in the spine, no side effects ever. Good doctor.
At my first delivery nobody gave me the option, natural or epidural, I had no idea that epidurals existed, so I delivered without painkillers at all. Had they asked me, though, I would not have accepted the epidural, because it was the first delivery and I had no idea how painful it is.
I remember that I thought to myself that I will never have sex again.
But, ...3 years later I had my daughter, with an epidural.
So, my advice is, take the epidural, but make sure to have a skilled doctor.
I may have been a little harsh in some of my posts
and if so I apologize. I truly do feel bad for you, I have sisters and I know I would be devastated. I hope someday soon you can both put this in the past and make up. I'm sure Thanksgiving may be a bit sad this year for you but I hope you can find some happiness and enjoy the day as best as possible.
These posts come across as not being very professional,
in their jobs, just the opposite. I might (and underline that) throw the clothes in the dryer but what you hear are women crying about what to do with their children, how to do their house chores around their work time- Good golly, what I am saying is I do not think a majority of the MTs on here would be able to hold down a job outside of their home because their home interferes with their work. I say either work at a job, not cry about it or do housework. One post said if inhouse would probably stand around a water fountain, that is a hoot!! No work, no production, no money. So simple.
Not sure what posts are below re marriage
but you sound so very well grounded and truly in love and love your husband and obviously he reciprocates. You are blessed but you also sound like a wonderful person who knows how to compromise when necessary and probably pick your battles - if you even have any!! I am also close to your age and going on 25 years of marriage and watch little things in the marriages of my children and I realize how much I have grown and how truly unimportant some stuff is - but sometimes you just don't see it when you are younger... wisdom definitely come with age!! You are blessed! :))
I have read all of the posts here and --sm
in my opinion, it is time to do what you have to do. She already has feelings against you, so what difference does it make. try to protect her as best as you can. protect your gd first and foremost. Get her some help, for YOUR peace of mind. God knows what you have done to help in your lifetime. Do not worry about your siblings or what anyone else might think. Do what you have to do..it is time. good luck to you, and God bless.
Posts being deleted - SM
Sometimes threads are pruned in order to scoot them back over out of the left-hand margin.
I suggest in the future if you have questions about your posts, e-mail them instead of complaining loudly on the board.
The thread you are referring to was pruned. It had nothing to do with the content of yours or anyone else's post.
Goldbird
I never said that - don't put words into my posts....
no need for sarcastic posts
I said pot.....
all you mentioned is most assuredly highly addictive...
been there, done that - need no lectures from an anonymous sarcastic poster 
I love all the posts concerning the
different marinades but I do believe with the MSG I can tell because of feeling like a sudden weight surge, like your bra gets a little tight and you have to unloosen it. I think this might be what they are talking about but then again I love all these brands, Lawry's included. Marinating the meat in dressings, etc. really helps the taste.
Now that I read your posts..
I'm figuring that's what my problem was. I had a tubal ligation after my third child 15 years ago. I had endometrial ablation done last March because of heavy periods, which was the best thing I ever did. It was to the point that I sometimes had to get up twice a night to change everything. My doctor told me that I might need another ablation sometime down the road or maybe a hysterectomy eventually.
That's okay. Both posts showed up sm
withing seconds of one another. I am so glad your family is okay. This is just awful.
True. But nn's posts often... sm
Come across as negative, bitter, judgemental, abrasive, argumentative, lecturing. This isn't the first time, so there does seem to be a pattern/problem IMHO. Seems like a very unhappy person, spreading that unhappiness around...
I agree with below posts sm
We went to New York this past summer and my drama class son had the time of his life. My daughter has a part time job, she works about 11-15 hours a week (that equals 2 days a week for her) and every 2 weeks she gets a paycheck of about 100.00 to 120.00 dollars a week. She could easily raise the money without taking away to much of her time or yours driving her to and from work. My daughter works as a cashier in a grocery store. I don't think you are being a cheapskate but I would do anything to make sure she could go.
After reading the below posts sm
I have to laugh. I have HP and have no trouble at all. It is the same thing with kitchen appliances. Have mostly GE and am not happy but many surveys say GE is one of the best.
So many posts against my views
but I posted about where I lived, in an association, and many came back against my saying it was so nice here, quiet, no loud music, no bullies to threaten your kids but yet people seemed to think I was being I guess "uppity." I only had 1 problem since 2004 and that was the pit sending flames into the trees next door, unattended, with their wooden area adjoining mine. I stand by what I said but if you are moving, got the perfect place for you. I am so happy here, not like others think an association is. The people here are really nice, not bothersome and we take pride in how we live. Oh, here goes the flaming!!!
These posts are a hoot!
I am so laughing reading about your babies. I just so love these sweet things and would never turn my back on him, even if he swishes when he walks!!
I have not read through all these posts, but
I had a cat pee on my daughter's new bed and was horrified. We got urine gone from wal-mart and that fixed it totally. Hope you find a solution!
Regarding our posts about suffering below (sm)
I am the one who said that I am a Christian but that I don't understand the suffering in the world either. I also disagree with Christians being self-righteous - this article/video shows that Christians and Muslims should be able to live together in harmony and we should all realize that when we become too intellectually/religiously arrogant, we forget the whole point.
http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/214912.aspx
I can't read posts either...
Can't read posts either!
Thanks you all for the positive posts.
I didn't think anyone would tell me not to let him go and that is exactly what I needed. I guess all along I knew I would not be able to keep him here, my heart would hurt too much to see his heart hurt if I did say no. I know I am supposed to just turn it all over to the Lord, but sometimes that is really hard to do. I will continue praying about it and I know that will help give me some peace. Thanks again to all.
Before I even read the other posts
I understand what you are going through, having been through it TWICE - long story, I refused to be the 'other woman' both times. You have to change the way you think about this man. Maybe your brother did bring him into your life for a reason, to help you grieve and to show you some of the qualities that you want in a man - but at this time, this is not the man for you. It is very difficult to let go. I still wonder sometimes if I did the right thing by walking away, but I could not sleep at night knowing that I destroyed someone's relationship. For history, the first instance was my high school sweetheart. He went into the Army. We wrote letters all the time and talked about marriage. So, imagine my shock when he brought home a woman he'd met while in the Army. I had one conversation with him after that. I asked him if he was happy and he said he didn't know. He couldn't be sure if he'd done the right thing by being with this other person and not me. I KNOW I could've stepped in and he would've left her. But would it have lasted? Would he eventually regret what he'd done? After all, we were different people. So, I told him that I could not talk to him any more. It was too hard. If things didn't work out with this other person, I told him he could call me any time. He is now married to this woman and I pray that he is happy. I made the right choice, as much as it hurt to let go, and that is what you have to do.
I have been reading all these posts sm
and debating on what to say. Bear with me, this could be long. My mother's mother lives in California and has all my life. I live in Virginia. I havew seen my grandmother exactly 5 times and I am now 40. My mother died unexpectedly 3 years ago (she lived here and was extremely close with all her grandchildren). I knew that my mother and grandmother did not have a close relationship but they did love each other. The night before the funeral my father and I had such a long wonderful talk. He told me then that he never ever heard my grandmother say anything positive, not even anything nice to my mother. He wasn't trying to critize my GM but was just stating the facts. Two years ago my parents (dad and stepmother) decided to take each grandchild (4) on a separate vacation. My daughter really wanted to go to CA. Not necessarily to see her great-grandmother but wanted to include that in the trip. My parents asked me to go along. We flew to San Francisco and drove to her home about 3 hours away. Now keep in mind, my GM loves my father and thinks he put the moon and sun in the sky. We were only going to stay in her town over night simply becuase the woman is not enjoyable to be around. She has a very tiny home so we decided to stay in a hotel. My GM asked me if my daughter and I would like to stay with her. I did not want to but my stepmother really thought I should. We arrived and after spending some time at her house trying to show her pictures of the other grandchildren (she really wasn't very interested) we took her to lunch. I tried to talk to her about the likes of my other child as well as my nieces and what there life was like. She just kept interuppting and changing the subject. Mostly about my brother or to talk to my father. As we were leaving the restaurant my SM pulled me aside and said that we should definitely stay at the hotel. My GM has no other family except my brother and I. I still call her every week but the conversations are always the same. No interest in my life. My son's 17th b-day is tomorrow and he got a card from her yesterday. It was pink and covered in flowers. This is not a woman who I want to spend time with and never have for multiple reasons. I could write a book. Please don't "make" your children go. There are obvious reasons in their minds and you should respect that.
Thanks for your posts...yes FAFSA gives some
assistance but not enough, she still needs like $5000 for each semester (this is an Ohio public university)....education sure has gotten expensive, but you have to have it!!! Good Luck DW, stay in school,,if you can find a cosigner, Sallie Mae has what they call a Tuition Answer Loan, (you still need a cosigner) but the check is sent directly to you and the process really isn't bad...but the PROBLEM is getting a cosigner!!!!
After reading some of your posts,
it sounds like maybe he just wants to stay married so he can keep you under his thumb. I'm sure it's better for him financially if you stay together and he has someone to do the household chores as well. As for asking for sex via email, that is creepy. But, I would still wonder whether he is getting somewhere else. I think men would still continue to ask, just on the off-chance that you actually would say yes, but get it somewhere else, too. I'd be afraid of what he could bring home. As for the kids, I agree with the other posters. The kids will pick up on this, but sadly enough, they will grow up believing it's a normal relationship when it's not, thus the generation-after-generation epic of divorce. That's just my opinion, though, and I'm certainly not an expert.
Now, back to you, I'm sorry that you're not getting any with someone who loves and respects you. So often, it is just assumed that the woman doesn't need/desire intimacy, when in all honesty women crave that intimacy even more than men. It's not necessarily the physical aspect of the intimacy that women crave, but rather the emotional. The fact that he asks for it so bluntly via email on a daily basis is his way of degrading you. Don't let it go on any longer. I would be headed straight to the divorce lawyer's office. Many women have been through divorce and made it through okay. You're children will support you once they see how much happier you are without him. Good luck to you. 
Some of these posts unbelievable!
I will say I do believe a 14-year-old is too old for a whipping but having said that, the issue about her writing a report is really silly! I posted below when my son was made to write, I think, 200 times a sentence I shall not (whatever) and when he finisehd, wanted to know could he do that again! Some children actually love to do that- you have to find what they dislike most and that is their punishment. If they love to go to the mall, take it away, if they love their cell, take it away, television, away, movies, away. Frankly I would do an overall taking away everything, leaving them in a blank room for days! Not even writing material, books, etc. This crap about her having trust issues- I was whipped a lot as a child and I am in a wonderful, marvelous marriage. That is pure bunk!!
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