Absolutely call Child Protective Services sm
Posted By: Dreamweaver on 2007-05-25
In Reply to: It's going to be a long summer. I need advice....sm - fed up
11 years old is much too young to be home alone all day, much less with a younger sibling. Even 13 years old is pushing it. Alone, maybe. With a younger sibling, absolutely not.
If it were me, I would call Child Protective Services. You might wait a couple of weeks after the incident you mentioned so it won't be totally obvious that you are the one who called. But this is a bad situation and it is not going to get any better unless someone does something about it.
Good luck!
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Child Protective Services needs a call about this situation. This has a big red warning
s
I agree completely with Jerrie, Call your local Division of Family Services and they can help
tremendously, especially if she is a danger to herself or others. They can take custody of the elderly, as they can the young children, and protect them from all sorts of abuse, including themselves. You will not be a bad person for doing this, but perhaps a Godsend.
My prayers are with you.
Absolutely call the parents of this kid.
It doesn't have to turn in to anything ugly (unless the parent lets it get that way) but I would want to be aware if my child did something like this.
Would definitely at least call the child's parents...sm
It may very well be that it is just a little kid is mad and one of those things that are very normal for kids this age to do. You know, my dad's gonna beat up your dad kind of thing. However, the parents need to know that their daughter is threatening violence towards your daughter and using dad as her back up. He may not even own a gun, who knows? I would just politely explain the situation to them and let them know you wanted to work with them so it wouldn't get blown out of proportion at school. If she is just acting in the typical manner, the school still won't see it that way because of so many shootings, and this may cause even more trouble for your family and Maya's. Don't know if you have this in your area, but our schools have the safe schools act, and it is a zero tolerance policy. Statements like that here have gotten kids expelled from school, and they were not allowed back into the public system until an extensive interview with the school administration and psychiatrist and a lot of paper work. Then the discipline is all on their record, even infractions that ended up as no threat.
I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
@
For a child to be allowed to call a g'mother a ..itch
shows a real lack of upbringing - but not on her part- guess whos?
We are very protective...
and sometimes are a little paranoid with keeping our 9, 6, and 3-year-old kids in our sight. My husband usually sits in the driveway to watch them ride their bikes or we let them go in our fenced backyard with a pool and swing set so they can just play there. It scares me to death of what happens to children out there. We even have a latch on our garage door so they cannot go out in the front without our knowing, which our 6-year-old likes to do. I have even talked to them about what to do if someone ever approached them, and that yes it could be someone they know well. It drives me crazy to see the little ones out there when their house is down the block, obviously not being watched. Too scary...
Maybe he's a little over-protective of money.
Hard to say, but hey, at least she's working more.
My dog is not unstable, he is protective...sm
There's a difference there. I have raised him from a baby and he would not attack unprovoked. Never. And so far he has never attacked. But the only way I could see him ever attacking is if someone tried to hurt me or came in the house he didn't think belonged or something of that sort.
I don't allow people to come in with the dog in the house. I have a fenced in back yard and he is put out there if someone comes over he doesn't know. Sometimes me and my huband have introduced him to people while my husband holds him on a leash to make sure he can't bite. The key is to let him slowly approach the person and sniff and let them talk to him and he will start to wag and sniff and lick. He has to be introduced to strangers and we have successfully introduced him to friends and now when they come over he is wanting to get practically in their lap licking and loving on them. He is like many other dogs who are uneasy with strangers, i.e. chihuahuas, Yorkies, Boxers, German Sheppards, Boston Terriers, etc. (any dog actually) BUT the difference is he is a BIG dog and his size and capability makes him more dangerous IF he does attack but he is just a dog like any other to me. He is just protective. But believe it or not I had a Yorkie who would attack the pitbull on a regular basis. If he was unstable he would have killed the little Yorkie but he didn't. Many times he would just walk away and look at me like mom help me here. One time he had enough and held the Yorkie down with his mouth but didn't leave a mark on him. He was telling him hey I've had enough. If he was mean or vicious he could have easily killed this little dog. But it isn't in his nature. I can't speak for all pits there but mine is not a vicious dog.
Thanks! I may get one for vet services. nm
x
social services should be contacted
to look at this family. It might be futile, but good grief, something needs to happen. That is unreal, beyond bizarre.
Check social services
your local salvation army, cancer center, and local hospitals. THERE IS HELP for you without insurance. Please don't give up. There are options. It just takes a little research and if you are working from home you must have the internet. I know things seem bad, but they could always get worse. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that to get out of bed in the morning.
Social Services Visiting
The main thing I'd say is to remain calm and explain to the investigator like you did here. Their job is to sort out the truth from the fiction. I was investigated once because my MTSO made false accusations about me to the police.
I had to answer questions I didn't enjoy but when the interview was over the investigator was done she told me she believed me and I had nothing to worry about, but if the accuser made another call they'd file harassment charges against me.
The truth is the truth and they'll sort it out. Patience will serve you well.
Anyone had any experience with Credit Counseling services?
I am in a bad situation. I had my house foreclosed on last year but it was in a prior bankruptcy, that is good. But we had to let our car go back, which was in my husband's name and now they are hounding us over paying it back...they are saying 11k but if we give them 6k that would settle it. Like we told them, if we had 6k we would not have let the car go back in the first place. Plus we have several doctor bills. We lost it all due to my health all of a sudden. No place to turn, no one to ask. Wanting to get out lives back. Wondering if anyone has had experience with Credit Counseling and if they really do speak with creditors, get what you owed cut in half and help you out of a bad situation.
Thanks....
Most vets donate services for shelters. I think they
x
but if she is charging for her services, then she is not a charity and would not qualify -
xx
I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am
freaking out! My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking. Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house. I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here. I then told him he could leave as well. That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too. He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying. He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage. I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job. He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money.
My son called the police to enforce the restraining order. The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter. He tells there was marijuana in my house.
So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint. The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home. My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint. I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately. When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot. Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody. Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.
Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services. I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect. I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!
I am so upset! I absolutely hate my ex-husband. I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away. The man won't even through away magazines. I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house. Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker.
I'm sorry to go on and on. I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. My kids are my life. I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them. They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe. The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.
You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga. You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
ABSOLUTELY . . .
If children find out on their own, they think they have figured out the great mystery of life, if someone tells them (especially an adult), they are taking away a precious, magical childhood time. My daughter believed up until she was 11 . . . and now that she and my almost 11-year-old son have figured it out, they think THEY have uncovered a great mystery!!! They think it's funny, actually. My 7-year-old still believes and he will until he is at least 10, if I have anything to say about it. That's like talking to them about faith in my opinion. That's the parents' responsibility
Absolutely..
My stepmother had a TAH almost 20 years ago and has had hot flashes ever since then. Sorry, that's probably bad news!
Absolutely don't do it
Same story here. Sit through sales pitch, very very hard sell, push push push. Then, instead of the "jeweled timepiece" which was the LEAST expensive prize, I got a cheap Timex that didn't even run.
Run run run away from this!!!!!
absolutely I would have said something
What if these kids are in his care a lot?
What if he does this behind closed doors (very likely if he struck out at the little one in public) when mommy isn't around?
What if he isn't their dad (or is) and he's abusing them but she doesn't know it?
As a mom, I would definitely want to know if someone struck my kid. Especially if I was a single mom (which I have been) and this guy was a boyfriend who was responsible for caring for my kids while I was at work or otherwise occupied. I would never leave them with him again, I could tell you that for certain.
Doesn't really matter what their personal situation is. The fact is, the kid was struck for no good reason and the jerk should have been called on it.
If he made a stink or if she made a stink, SO WHAT, follow them and get a license plate number then turn them in!
You-re absolutely right
A few months ago I was at a class I take at the YMCA and one woman was telling us how her daughter-in-law had a miscarriage. She was saying how hard it was and finally I spoke up and said I too had miscarried. After I said that, at least 4 other women (out of a group of maybe 10-12) admitted they too had miscarried. I was stunned. I had no idea how many of us there were. Knowing I wasn't alone might have helped when I was going through it.
On the other hand, if anything good came of it, I think it made me a better mother. I cherished every moment of my children's lives and took none of it for granted.
Absolutely!
Men like that feed off of control. My ex did the same thing. Just pull your boots up! It'll be okay. Talk to your family (parents? siblings?), see a lawyer (don't tell your husband), and look at getting into counseling. I've been exactly where you are and I know what you're feeling. It's awful, but the sooner you get free, the better you'll feel and the better off your children will be.
Did I read that he stays off for days without contacting you?
Absolutely...sm
Any and all prayers appreciated. Thank you so much.
Sorry you went through the same thing. It certainly isn't good at all.
Absolutely NOT!....
You'd better give that to me and I'll take care of it for you.
(I am absolutely staaaving!)
This is absolutely
And surprisingly cute! Thanks for sharing...BTW, did you wear the ones you were given?
Absolutely
You have the right idea!! Where I live, Hard Rock Cafe had their 10th year anniversay Saturday night. My husband and I and a couple of friends (who are about 5 years younger than I am) decided to go. Rich music history here in my neck of the woods. When we walked in, the young girl standing at the hostess desk looked at us and said "Just to make sure you know it is our 10th anniversay and we will be having loud rock music tonight in case you want to eat dinner somewhere else". I asked her why she told me that because she didn't tell the couple that was in front of us. She said "well, I thought at your age you might not like it." I couldn't believe it. That's why we were there, to hear the bands that were playing.
Absolutely right!
The world needs more kind people like yourself and you are 100% correct about the animal cruelty!
Absolutely!
I met my best friend in 1975 when we worked together. I tell people I've had her longer than I had my husband (28 years). We have seen each other through second marriages, second divorces, the entire deal. Talk daily sometimes 2-3 times. And yes sometimes "a friend sticketh closer than a brother", in this case anyway!
Absolutely!
How could you do any less for a member of your family? You're not crazy at all; you're a sensitive, caring human being who puts love before money. Take care of yourself; everything will work out.
i have absolutely no
rear end. It's flat as a pancake. :=(
Absolutely
I have a family member with Parkinson's disease. He has the adolescent onset version so he's only now 39 and on disability. He cannot sit all day and work at the job he used to have at an investment firm. He has been in a car accident due to blanking out on medication. The only thing the doctors had left to tell him was take this medication which should work for about 10 years so you can work but after that you'll probably be debilitated. Well having 2 small children at the time, the answer was simple, be able to raise my family or be able to work. So he went on disability. Now he is able to active occasionally but his hands are real shaky and so is his voice. Whenever he has to go to the disability office, he is treated with contempt and disbelief until he hikes his 1 foot thick medical record file on their desk!
I also know of someone who was on disability that actually worked for the MT company I used to work for (this is hearsay mind you). Evidently she was using her husband's social security number to earn a paycheck! Whenever I meet someone or hear of someone cheating the system, I want them to meet my family member and explain to them why they think they are entitled to take money out of his pockets and his children's pockets. Makes me so mad!
Absolutely not. nm
bb
ABSOLUTELY!!
I posted above about my Canadian boyfriend. The taxes to pay for their universal/provincial healthcare are outrageous!!
Absolutely.
As an MT I cannot stand transcribing a social history that states "smokes 3 packs of cigarettes a day but denies the use of alcohol or drugs" and then has a positive alcohol or marij. screen. Why is one of the 3 considered acceptable in society and the others are not? To me, they are all essentially at the same level. They all have addictive properties and the potential for longterm complications, bad decisions, etc. If marij. has the potential of doing some good for anyone then I think it should be legalized.
Another good point you bring up is the cost of housing the so called "criminals" who have use it recreationally and could have just as easily used recreational alcohol and been involved in a drunk driving incident. It's all about education and setting limits. Sure there have to be guidelines but I don't think all should be punished because of the few exceptions.
You are absolutely right, he
could have done any of a number of things to cause A PIT BULL dog to attack and kill him. He could have yelled at the TV. He could have stepped on one of their feet. He could have fallen down. We don't know what happened, but the point is that no pet should ever be capable of killing a human with whom it shares a home. Other breeds recognize their master and other humans in their living space and take their rightful place. Most good, smart companion dogs would have recognized this man's special frailty and give him a wider berth. The instinct of these dogs to attack overcomes them and they can't turn off that instinct. This breed should never be kept as pets.
You should visit the web site I posted and click on the tab about pit bull owners. I find it very interesting that you have used the same phrases that most owners use to defend the breed.
Can you name one desirable character trait that a pit bull has that you cannot find in any other dog?
Absolutely!!!
I just met the love of my life 1-1/2 years ago, and I have a daughter in college, so I don't believe happiness is rendered elusive after a certain age.
After my man and I got together in what is indeed a story for "the grandkids," we discovered we had been at the same time/same place on multiple previous occasions, almost like fate kept dropping us into one another's paths until we finally interconnected. I had always held out and refused to settle, and I've ended up with the most wonderful man who treats me better than I had ever imagined. And, most importantly, someone who can make me laugh no matter what's going on around us.
I used to be a total skeptic about "love" and all that it entailed; however, once I met "the one," it totally changed my perception of love and just how life-changing and wonderful love can be. My friends say *glow* since I've been with him, and even his mother has seen a huge change in him since we got together. As corny as it sounds, I feel "complete" for the first time in my life.
Don't give up hope...Use your head to get yourself out of a bad situation, and then use your heart to follow your dreams. We ALL deserve happiness in life, and I'm a firm believer that fate will eventually have its way with us, and we end up right where we're intended to be.
You go, girl...grab that golden ring and don't let go!!!
You are absolutely right.......... sm
I found myself in a similar situation several years ago. The man, whom I loved very much and still do, decided that it was not within him to have a relationship with me because of religious beliefs. I do still love him very much and always will but I have come to understand that we are to never be together and I have moved on with my life. Hardest thing I've ever done, but I feel much healthier for it. My suggestion to the woman in the original story is that if she does love this man, then she must respect his decision and the sooner she does it, the quicker she will heal from the pain.
Absolutely not!
If it happened even just once, I'd be out of there in a flash.
absolutely and I think he is too! sm
My husband and I have been married for 13-1/2 years and were best friends for 4 years leading up to that. The single that I love most about him is that if I'm having a bad day, I can tell him that. I can say I need a hug cuz I'm having a really bad day and he's there for me. He listens if I want to talk about it and if not, he just holds me.
As for the groping thing, we always do that. Sometimes it turns into something more and sometimes we just end up giggling. We have 3 kids, so we've had our ups and downs. They range in age from 6 to 11. I think the biggest thing for us is that we're friends, first and foremost. I love him because he makes it easy for me to smile.
Absolutely
Better to agree to disagree than start a fight which is all too prevalent on the board. Have fun watching tonight. My daughter and I are always screaming at the TV when it's on. I definitely agree that most of the women were off last night. The girl you're talking about, I think you and I are thinking of the same one. That second guy I don't remember at all from the auditions.
Absolutely
Funny, when kids were spanked at home, they behaved at school. Now it's a crime to spank your child and the schools are filled with rowdy uncontrollable children who they now control by medicating them. Funny how no one had ADHD 40 years ago.
Absolutely...
I just hate that it always seems to be the fruit that I have to give up. When apples were 6 bucks a bag last year, I left them right in that store. A couple of weeks ago, the week right after V-day, strawberries were 4 bucks a pint, Seriously? The day before they had been 2 for 5. They stayed in the store. Grapes are expensive always it seems but my local grocer packages them smaller so I'm not paying as much, not getting as much but still it gives my kids a good snack for at least a day. S A D!
I have had this and it can be absolutely
terrifying. One time I felt like someone was sitting on the bed next to me and I was the only one home. I have had it happen 3 or 4 times.
I have had this and it can be absolutely
terrifying. One time I felt like someone was sitting on the bed next to me and I was the only one home. I have had it happen 3 or 4 times. You feel totally helpless.
You are absolutely right
From the start, this whole argument has been skewed, saying Bush banned stem cell research. Not exactly. It was not banned, it was NOT FUNDED by government money. What has actually been lifted is the funding issue, which simply means there is another way for government to p*ss away our money. (Like they haven't found enough ways already!)
Absolutely.
I moved about a year after high school. Had to get away from my dad who told me I belonged to him until I got married and I had to do what he told me. Well, since I had no desire to get married yet I took off and moved 1000 miles away. Best thing I ever did for myself. Had a blast! I look back on those days between high school and marriage as the best learning experience and the most fun I ever had.
Oh absolutely!..........
It's a gotcha kind of thing. After all, whose is going to bury your loved one? What you need to remember is to look for those that sell caskets wholesale in your area. The funeral home industry tried to shut them down a while back, but the law said they had EVERY right to sell caskets without operating a funeral home business, which of course they do. This country is supposed to be based on "free enterprise". Now, of course, the funeral homes hate this because they make LOTS OF MONEY selling those same coffins you can get for wholesale prices and thousands less!!
We just buried my brother in law and my husband said up front he was not going to fall for all those bells and whistles because we were his guardians and we were NOT going to let the funeral home take what little he had less and could hopefully leave something for his son. Well, my husband told them what he wanted, basically part and parcel, instead of the "package deal" they give. I told him they would have him either way because they would charge way more for the piece by piece method instead of the package deal and sure enough, they did!
By the time you paid a separte charge for transportation of the coffin to the burial site, the separate burial charge from the funeral home (which by the way did NOT cover digging the grave....what a joke!), setting up the chairs at the graveside as a separate charge (are you kidding?), carrying the flowers out to the graveside (separate charge), and dozens of other "separate" charges, they had you nailed!
It ended up being cheaper with one of the "package deals" though we did try to keep the cost of the coffin as low as possible.
No matter what the economy, the funeral business is a "recession/depression proof" business!!
Absolutely
I couldn't have said it better. Look where Chris Daughtry is, though. I think whether Adam wins or not he'll have a great career.
Absolutely!! sm
That way he learns life is not free and has some concept of budgeting. I think it will also give him a sense of pride knowing he is pulling his own weight.
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