Above post is spot on. My mom is this way because of upbringing.
Posted By: mtgirl on 2007-07-18
In Reply to: people are conditional; pets are not. Her upbringing may - have invovled much harm/distrust with people. n/
I wish I could explain this more - (it's probably in one of our mental health reference books!) I believe that no one ever showed her sympathy as a child and taught her to be very suspicious and untrusting of other people. I believe she feels if she shows that she cares, she'll just be disappointed anyway, so why bother. It causes one to put up a wall, just like the other poster said. This really resonated with me when I read it. Because of myself also being brought up this way, it's sometimes hard for me to let anyone else in too, and I have had to teach myself empathy. I sure am doing my best, and very obviously, to teach my children empathy by using life examples and modeling the behavior myself.
I'm so sorry about your son. If you want to talk about it on the board, we're all listening. XX 
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Your post is spot on!
I agree word for word.
I think it's mostly the upbringing
Ever since I was old enough to talk, whenever I got anything, even if it was $5 in a card in the mail, my mom had me right on the phone. As I got older, when I was old enough to write, days were spent writing thank you cards after parties for my communion, birthdays, etc.
To this day, I have never not thanked someone, by card or by phone, or even by email, for any type of gift.
There are so many ways to say thank you and people who do not are just rude or not brought up right IMO.
evidently the ESL had terrific upbringing.......nm
people are conditional; pets are not. Her upbringing may
nm
I was born in 1960 but sounds like we had the same upbringing
I would have loved to live in the 50s as a teen/adult. Sounds like we came from the same neck of the woods. I too had a curfew of 10pm on weekends with a 5 minute leeway. After 5 minutes I was grounded for 2 weeks (and this was high school and I dare not argued back). If I ever dared talk back to my parents (well actually I did once and only once, we lived by the belt. We got it when we were bad, but not to the point of abuse - it was to learn a lesson and we did). We had a TV with 12 channels (actually 9 because we didn't get channels 8, 9 and 11), and we didn't have a remote. My parents idea of a remote was telling my sister and me to change the channel. No dishwasher (again my moms dishwashers was my sister and me). I spent Sundays doing church activities, Saturdays was Girl Scout activities. We too didn't have computers. Closest was an Atari ping pong we played on the TV. My mom was a ballerina, tap, jazz dancer and spent a lot of time teaching us. We spent nights inventing word games, drawing, making candles, quilting and other crafts. Hardly watched TV. We just learned how to entertain ourselves. Sis and I would spend a lot of times in the woods and outside. I'd give everything I have today (cable, computers, etc) to go back in time and do it all again (only in the 40s or 50s would be good).
spot-on!
There is a questionnaire your healthcare provider can have you do to see how you score, but it sounds like you have very similar symptoms as I do. Do you have depression as well?
Your heart is in the right spot
trying to see after them. I myself carry around food in case I see animals out that I think might need a meal or if a friendly one comes into my yard, I bring out the food still. I would definitely be the same as you trying to fend for them.
I SOOOO agree with you. You are spot on. nm.
nm
I have a soft spot for this story. sm
My aunt went through a similar story. She had a highschool sweetheart, but the families couldn't get along. So, Aunt went off to college, met and married. Had 2 boys. HS sweetie went to different college, met and married, had 3 kids.
They met at 30th HS reunion. Both divorced and alone, children grown up. Both lived in different states so decided to write back and forth via email. After a couple years, they moved closer to one another and started dating. A year later they were married.
They were very happy together and planned their retirement time to spend traveling the country in their RV. They got 5 happy years together, including 1 year of retirement. Aunt got very ill and died suddenly.
Moral of story: Life is shorter than you think. Do the best you can with what you have.
...area if you can find a spot that won't show. Or try it
s
my problem with "problem spot" solvers
is that they dry out my skin too much. When I put on makeup i have a spot that looks like i have sunburn- peeling skin no matter how much moisturizer i put on :(
Finances were a real sore spot in our marriage for a long time
But my husband was in the military for 12 years, and he was away quite a bit, so I had to take over the finances. When he was home and he was paying the bills, he would get so upset because he felt there wasn't enough money and "where does all the money go?" "why don't we ever have any left?" was all I heard. I finally told him I was taking them back over because I was sick of hearing that every month. I put everything on MS Money, categorize it, subcategorize it, and add memos, so if he wants to know exactly where the money is going, all he has to do is look.
Funny....he really hasn't complained a whole lot since.
A good carpet company can dye the carpet where the bleach spot is.
nm
Love it. That's where I'm from (Philly) and can spot a Philly one a mile away!
!!
Well, you post with something that is going to --sm
get your *butt jumped* and then you cry when someone does. judgemental of everything, huh? don't get your halo in a twist. geez.
your post says *they*...
Is more than 1 of your children living with this person? Just curious...
Thank you for your post....sm
at least YOU seem to understand the concept of what a thyroid problem can do to a person...unlike anon poster below, who has a very closed mind about ANYthing she does not agree with.
My thyroid problem is quite bad. I HAVE seen an endocrinologist who explained that thyroid disease is an autoimmune disease, where the body attacks certain organs for no reason. I did not do well on synthetic thyroid replacement and switched to a *natural* form. I am currently taking 120 mg daily and that is a lot. The endocrinologist said that my thyroid was barely functioning at all.
I feel very bad for your brother in law, as I truly understand how he feels. Thank you again for your understanding support for my problem, rather than attacking me with being a food junky, being paranoid, needing a psychiatrist, telling me I am nuts, and to pursue bariatric surgery, which all tends to lower my already low self-esteem. thank you for your courage to post. It is nice to know that SOME people understand.
was the *duh* in yer post necessary?.....
#
better post than your first one *LOL*
I like what you said there - you have had a GOOD solid thing for 41 years now.......or thereabouts with your husband -
Doing this to him, even surreptitiously....do you think this is what HE deserves after you having a full life with him? Do you have a conscience? Even if you don't see this guy from 900 miles away - YOU'RE STILL CHEATING, you are carrying on a secret relationship in a secret email account behind your husband's back.........
I ain't judging.........but points upward.........towards G_d.........
jes' sayin'..............
how did this post above from 1/16/07 end up
on the top of GAB BOARD? And silly me, I answered it *LOL* - says Jan 16, 2007....all below this are March of 2007........very bizarre...someone probably trying to invoke conversation(?)
very_curious_indeed
what does this have to do with my post?
to be adopted already....
I really liked your post, thanks for that!!!..sm
I so respect what you said/typed.......thank you :)
oh that post is NOT *way down below*...sm
it's right under this post *ROFL*....I'm tired.....
Cut off from above post: j/k nm
uhijok
Post (SM)
All prayer requests belong on the Prayer Request board. You access it by going to the Gab board first, then clicking the Prayer Request link just above the posts.
I have not received any emails from you regardnig your post.
Sorry to post again about this but (sm)
Divorce is a huge decision - I have been talking to family and friends but this is the only place I can get anonymous opinions from a lot of people, and it is more likely that someone here may have been through something similar. My husband now is asking me to not go. But he has already told me just a few nights ago that he was never happy with me, was always disappointed and frustrated with who I am, and that this is probably the reason he hit me a few years ago. He went nuts a few years ago during a very minor argument (children were not present), and now says that it was probably because of years of frustration. But now he is once again asking me to stay. Because my parents are divorced he says that "divorce is the only thing I know" when faced with conflict. I have been here almost 14 years and he has never been happy with me. Even when I was young and thin and our house was spotless. My question is - if he has never been happy with me, and I have always been a source of frustration, why should I stay now and expect things to improve? We have been to 4 marriage counsellors in the past. I am scared about leaving and I still do love him deep down, but why continue to stay if I will never be good enough?
I should have put LOL after my post
about the fancy car. My parents and my MIL drive "fancy" cars. I agree that wasn't a nice thing to say.
Well, here you can post what you think
Well, here you can post what you think is an awesome idea or might we say lame... (Creativity is the key)
I'll start with:
Awesome:
Water powered cars...
Lame:
Really cool stuff that is ridiculously expensive(i.e. PS3)
Please do post a pic of your pup
if you haven't already. Hayseed knows how.
Was this post really necessary?
Why bother reading a post that doesn't interest you just to post something rude and totally unnecessary? I for one love hearing about the good things in life. It's not just all work, work, work.
see my post sm
Would anyone who has used Cymbalta please reply to my post on the Mental Health board. I think this is suitable for "gab" but only one answer on that board. Thanks! BTW, I don't think exhaustion and pain from this profession is all "in our mind." I hope you agree.
Post her pic?
//
I saw that post too
I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused. This is a gab board and that's what we're doing gabbing about cats and other animals. If he/she isn't interested, just don't read the posts. By the way, I have an all black Halloween cat and the kids get a big kick out of him when them come to the door.
I think your post is right on
My hubs and I have separate and I trust him beyond belief, would never know what he made a year except at tax time. I think it is great to have hubs you trust and can take care of things like yours does. Seems like a dream deal to me. I could care less for doing anything when it comes to financial deals but sometimes have to fool with that. If I had a hubs that dealt with everything, I would be more than happy. You are blessed.
Just saw this post
Yes, his anal glands were really impacted- the post below this 1 helped me tremendously. Never knew felines got that way. He went to the veterinarian the very day I learned about the possibility of what it could be, the vet expressed the glands and relieved that problem. Yesterday my big boy (20 and a half lbs) went to the groomers to get him all cleaned and smelling good again. One more thing I learned- he is double furred boy and hair was even growing over his anus which had to be shaved. He is quite the handsome guy today!
100% right and that is my post
Give varied foods to be served but can you just imagine if 10 or more kids would not eat and demanded certain foods for their own eating? Did not say kids should be forced to eat anything but definitely needs vegetables in their diet. Sit foods on the table, not much fuss and let the child eat and eat good, no junk stuff, no Cokes, no sweetened drinks, no overloading on the chips, cookies and other sweets.
By the way, there is a second pic in that post above. (nm)
.
I just had to post this pic too!
This is my youngest, Scooter, when we first brought him home 2 years ago. He is MUCH bigger now! LOL!
Above post is IMO, of course.
x
Thanks for your post
She's actually the one that's hard on herself. If she was in regular classes it wouldn't matter to me. I'll see what happens when she gets home in an hour.
The post above you was right
You have said as much by "someone saying to mind your own business." It is her business, not any of yours at all. As far as the thrown away card, once a person is given a present, whether it is a card or whatever it is, it is their property then and the person can toss it, hold onto it or do what they like. She is minding her own business as you should. In your posts you come back time and again about what friends you were, how you emailed every day, you seem really clingy to this person, like you cannot make it another day before you hear from her. Do you have any life of your own?
your post
The mare is foaling - NOT having a "baby" thats human and she will either have a colt (male) or a filly (female)
FYI
your post
Sorry Cat, but NO apology is necessary -- the word "foal" was used in the original post, for those who don't know, "give birth" would have been a better term and BTW -- I am the granddaughter of a cattle rancher and have seen my share from BIRTH TO DEATH -- and we are talking 25,000 acres as well thank you VERY much
your post
I was the "oldest granchild" on my mom's side of the family and the "eldest of 4 girls" on my dad's side and he was the baby of his family. My paternal grandmother was the head baker for the local hospital and used to make ALL the "Holiday" pies for the docs to take home -- she had a mincemeat receipie to DIE for but when she died, it went with her :(
My maternal grandparents were great too. Little by little during the depression, they bought land in the Sandhills of Nebraska spent WHOPPING sum of $10 an acre and eventually built the ranch up to be approximately 25K acres, their cattle were pretty much all grass fed, gram had a "scrap bucket" under the sink, which was used to feed the chickens and they produced ORANGE yolks.
I just wish that our generation that is being raised nowadays could somehow understand how much more important the "simple values" are
Thank you for your post!
It sure is refreshing to listen to someone who actually KNOWS about religion and can pontificate (chose this word on purpose) about differences/similarities. If more people KNEW about various religions, we would have more acceptance and less ignorance in the world.
Thanks again, from your friendly agnostic....
your post
I am STILL grieving for what happened in my hometown a week ago today -- it not ONLY affected the university but the surrounding communities as well. If one or 2 of those students at Virginia Tech or NIU had been able to carry a concealed weapon into those classrooms AND being able to confront that assailant then perhaps we would not be MOURNING but REJOICING because lives were saved rather than lost -- You YOUNGSTERS who have NEVER SEEN the tragiedies that have gone on in this country and I am talking from VietNam forward -- need to grow up and quit whining
There was not one post that said
or asked you to stop. A few people just stated that it was hard to see other threads and I agree with them. It was fun at first but it became tiring because you could not see threads from other people. I'm all for it but perhaps a separate game board should be the place for it.
See my above post nm
A
Thanks so much for your post--you have me so much to think about! sm
You make some excellent points--things I hadn't even considered. I see why you like to decorate--you cover all the scenarios. Thanks again.
Your post described me :-)
Okay, this is the first break I've taken today so thought I'd check out the site. I read your post and laughed because this has exactly happened to me. Over the past few days I have visited too frequently and got behind on my work, so I made it a point not to visit the site until I finish my work.
Gosh - talk about addicted 
your post
Being a military widow, I would call the "Jag" office but think first talking to his CO would work, if no help there then the military attornys
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