AM ONLY ANSWERING 1 TIME AND THEN OUT OF HERE
Posted By: INTERESTING!! on 2009-03-06
In Reply to: Important: I disagree with this sentence in your post: - Jan
My father was remarried. He had a 2nd wife. This was a stepmom, not my real mother. My father had 2 children, my brother and myself. No other children of his. My brother died in 1973. He was married and had 2 children at the time of his death. They were 4 and 6 then. I was not in their lives and did not see the 6 year old again until she was 18. That was 12 years later. Fast forward. My father's wife died 2 years before him. My father died in 2004, leaving me as his only heir. Two years went by. The insurance company contacted me saying he had taken out policy in the 50's- had no beneficiary listed on it- They paid me half of that and asked if I knew where my brother's kids were. No I did not know. No contact with them. They had not shown up for my father (their grandfather's funeral even). They said would try to find. They held the money for another year. The insurance company then contacted me and went the other 1/2 to me. I had no stepbrother, no stepsister, one brother, deceased in 1973, no linkage with brother's children, did not know about insurance in the first place, I did not initiate getting this. My brother's children were not orphans. Their mother remarried a year after my brother died and they were raised all those years by their mother and their stepfather. Now if this is not clear, totally sorry.
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My daughter has for some time said to let answering machine
get the phone calls- she knows a lot of telemarketers call so it is not my idea, but hers to begin with! I have for years and years tried to explain that IF she thinks by my tone of voice I am upset, to please ASK, that is all- I will tell her no, not much upsetting in my life. If most parents would be truthful, they would probably say they preferred 1 child over another- my son was the chosen 1 so to speak. I thought he hung the moon when he was younger. He changed a lot- to be so disrespectful when if not for me- even his own father told me after son grown if not for me- where would my son have been- that I was like the rock, he was the rolling stone, never sticking around. I would hate for that to happen- I think most parents would hate to see a child die but at the same time- what about if his mother dies and he does not try to make amends- the road goes both ways you know. I feel I have done no wrong in the relationship at all. I am at peace with myself. As far as the daughter goes- wish you could ask my housekeeper who has been with me for years about my daughter- you would get an earful- she is a very spoiled girl, a me type person and her mother is not first on her list of people to see- she does for her friends and I have always been on the backburner with her. Told my aunt yesterday I love her but I don’t like her a lot of the time. And no flame for this- other parents feel the same and I know they do about certain children. Always asked if she is only child- that should tell you a lot.
thanks for answering........sm
But wouldn't you think that family might appreciate an older, far wiser grandmother, great grandmother's opinion, input would be a Godsend?
Thanks again for responding, and have a nice evening!! 
and thanks again for answering...sm
I guess I'm just lucky - my daughter is nearly 26 and comes to me for my opinion on much going on in her life, and I cherish that! I am also very careful never to overstep my boundaries or her boundaries. There is a huge open-door policy in my home/life forever and all know that, that they should never hesitate to ask me anything, or to come to me for anything (I can always say NO, ya know? *LOL*) - but this is like gold to me - her constantly coming back for feedback.
Again, enjoy your evening and thanks for chatting. 
thank you for answering that....s/m
reason I asked is because not terribly long ago, there was a poster complaining about a certain friend who consistently canceled dates/appointments with the poster and that it was ongoing for a very long period of time (years, if I recall correctly) - so it was great that you answered and you are not that person...
...and the person you had to cancel on NEEDS TO GET OVER IT!!!
Thank you for answering me. I
had just read an article in the August Reader's Digest about a man being treated for throat cancer, stage IV. The name is The Farther Shore by Stephen Reynolds, in his 40's. There is an insert in the article that might interest you.
"HPV and You"
While few people with HPV get oral cancer, the number is likely to keep rising, says Maura Gillison, M.D., of Johns Hopkins. 20 million Americans are infected, with 6.2 million new cases each year. So far, there is no cure and just one test and only to detect HPV in a woman's cervix. Only a biopsy can tell whether an oral cancer is linked to HPV, but a test to spot high-risk oral infection in men and women and a vaccine for men are both in the works. What you need to know:
Most people with HPV infections don't have any symptoms. At least half of sexually active men and women may become infected in their lifetimes. About 23% of women ages 14 to 65 have high-risk HPV, including 35% of 14 to 19 year old girls.
Gardasil protects against up to 70% of the HPV types that cause cervical cancer, but it is unknown if the vaccine protects against oral infection in men or women.
While most infections clear up on their own without patients ever knowing they were exposed, the consequences can still be severe. For instance, one type of HPV raises the risk of oral cancer of 3,200 percent.
The virus speads through any form of sexual activity, and condoms can't fully protect against it. Having more than 5 oral sex partners boosts the risks of HPV linked oral cancer by 340 percent.
Sorry this was so long, but this is the most info I have seen on this and the numbers are, I think, staggering. I notice it does not address the vaccine in Australia you mentioned.
Answering
Who was the guy that came on, I believe he was second or maybe even first. He sang a slow song and my heart was fluttering he was so good. I thought the majority of the crowd, especially the women, just sucked last night. Several should not even have showed up they were so bad. I saw Danny's friend- he was really good. I wish he and Danny both had made it. The only longhaired dark headed lady I remember having a child was 1 that I do not think made it (or maybe she was the replacement?) I even thought the Enoop or Anoop or whatever his name, cutey pie, but his music was off. The black guy who quit keyboarding who I thought was really good before was yucky last night. I can hardly wait for tonight though because I am so hooked on it. I do not accept phone calls and everything sorta stops until that is over. I don't think Paula (with her crazy self) should ga-ga over someone who basically does not stand a chance and we will just agree to disagree on Simon because I like him tremendously.
Answering
You can certainly take monentary deductions for giving to Red Cross and the like, I give to Kidney Foundation and always left envelopes to turn in the amount given away and no I am not part of the corporation, just giving money for animal care and the things listed.
Following up on not answering the phone
I have read the posts. This is a forum for all to post any and everything. By myself mostly, I have raised 2 children, bought my own house, cars, taken nice vacations with the kids usually to Club Med and the like when they were younger and to say am I not that smart to have asked such a question, this is insulting for a person even to imply that. Others on here post about marital infidelities, problems with in-laws, kids and the like. I asked for suggestions- nothing was written in concrete I had to use. I started MTing long before we worked out of our homes- by the time I was able to work from home the kids were in their 30s and 20s, grown! I had to work to make a living so in the summers rather than having to go to daycare, they visited relatives. (Peope even asked when time for bingo- it was directly across my home from me- started 8:30 so yes in the summer I was able to go). My daughter (who by the way I am having dinner with tonight) told me about a month or so ago her childhood was "idyllic." I said really- she told me loved where we lived and she had a wonderful childhood. By the way, she has this rule and I am not allowed to call HER home before 12 on a weekend so she can sleep in. Again my asking her over and over to just ask me if I am upset should stand but this is something that continues with her. The person who said they listened to their father telling stories over and over again- when I do this, not aware that I am repeating, my daughter says - mama, you've told me that before. What works in 1 family does not necessarily work in another! I am soooo thankful working as much as I have in life- now I have found out next year when I start drawing my money at full retirement age from SS that it will be around 2,000 per month- by the way I am not planning on retiring- plan to continue working as long as I can because those are just my ethics and the way I have always been. I will always be their mother, true but they are not my entire life now- they are a portion like I am a portion of theirs. I think lots that post here are younger and true enough when the kids are young and such it is different than when they leave home and have their own lives. I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs, never brought strange guys home to stay the nights and did a darn good job with my kids. As far as my son, you only do so much and when your children are grown, not your responsibility how they decide to behave, good, bad or otherwise. Sure I would love to see him but when I said closing the bank back in 2000, the visits, telephone calls, etc. slowed down a lot. Think what you want- people do- but as for me, I have no regrets at all really about the entirety of my life, past and present.
I think I was answering the person above. NM
x
for SS: Thank you for answering, good to know!...nm
nm
Pardon me fo answering her email
but what is odd is your obsession with this. Get over it and get on to something you consider valuable. You must be reading our posts and no one else's. We have been supported by many people who have called you on your comments. Read all of em, kid.
All the questioning and answering in the world
cannot stop these idiotic people out here now. How pray tell, if you have all kinds of notices on your medical records stamped in RED BIG letters and you have an allergy wrist band on, do you still COME OUT OF SURGERY WEARING WHAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO??? Idio....ts
Should I just quit answering the phone at all?
My children are grown and out of the home. I was on my cellphone today talking long distance, my daughter calls on my land phone and I answered. I have caller ID but did not put on my specs so could not tell who it was, just answered. I don’t get that many calls, mostly people selling things. Anyway, noticed she seemed out of sorts, in a curt voice telling me to call her back. When I finished I called back and asked her what was her problem. She tells me I sounded like I was angry, upset or whatever. I have told her repeatedly- if you think I am upset- ask me and I will tell you- that does not happen- she just assumes that. I told her she and her brother will never know me, never as they both assumed the same (I am estranged from her brother) Her brother used to tell me to "calm down" and I again and again and again said not upset and then that would tick me off that he continued to say that. My children are in their 30s and 40s- I have been married to my present husband now for 8 years (although I have known him 25+) and he knows me much better than they ever did. Any suggestions? Should I just disconnect the phone? Should I let everything come on answering machine?? My pet peeve in life is to be accused wrongly and yet it continues with her. I guess could let answering machine pick it up for a few weeks and I guess that would worry the heck out of her then ----- or maybe not?
I was answering MTRobin and apparently
you did not read my answer well. I said I did not have to use my credit card. I am not broke. What do you not understand about I could have used the CDs if I had wanted?? I have 401K and 2 others. I spend because I can. I have money in the bank. I can pay my accts on a month to month basis and ahead. I have no companies call me dunning me for payments. I paid an additional $15,000.00 more on my home last year on the principal to get the payments down. I would like to continue working but I am not having to work. I work now because I love my job. My husband is teamster and I can be a happy homemaker if I want. Years ago I struggled to support a family but I do not have to do that now. Just because others are hurting does not mean everyone here. I use my CC because easier than me going and cashing in the CDs and having several thousands buried in my back yard. I will have the CC paid down/off, have my 3 vacations planned for this year already and do perfectly alright if God lets me live and thrive as I have been. I have written this in as plain English as I can. Off this subject now.
I was simply answering the above post
which said they thought a person who only paid taxes should get a refund. I don't have a grudge against a person getting a refund. This is not what the post was about. My aunt has not worked in years and years and I know she does not pay taxes, has not for years and she got a refund. Goody for her! Oh, as far as getting lots back on SS. When I start mine later on in Sept I will be getting almost 2000 a month so that is not too bad. Oh, another thing, my aunt has lived on her SS for a long time now. It really depends on where you live, your lifestyle, how you spend but she did and hers is nothing like what I will draw.
Reading your comment I am answering,
I think that your daughter, at least on this trip she asked you to take her with you, did not behave appropriate.
She keeps criticizing you and telling you to change, whereas she has to make some changes in her behavior.
There comes a time when it is the children's turn to give and help.
Explain this to your daughter.
I use the answering machine to screen calls too--sm
if it is something important and they begin to leave a message, I will answer, otherwise I won't. Most of the time, they will not leave a message.
The do not call list is helpful, but not for everything. If you really want to take the time, you can answer the phone and before they start their pitch, tell them nicely that you wish to be removed from their call list. They are supposed to remove you. If they call back after that, you can report them to the do not call list and they will be fined for it. Also ask for the name of who you are speaking to. Sometimes two or three different people from the same place have your number and even though you ask to be removed from one person calling, the next may not know that and call you anyway. It took me almost a week of doing this on a daily basis and eventually the calls stopped. It takes time, but it works. oh, heavenly peace and quiet!
Actually it is answering the one who said should be canned, creating hostile
work place- yours was not a good working situation also. I think people, unless in your situation, just do not realize what a problem others have. It is not something you try to do by making so many trips to the bathroom. People working for others sometimes just have to suck up things and as my mother would have said, consider the source- if you are rude, crude, inconsiderate, lacking manners- a person fits this category and you just take with a grain of salt and overlook others like this.
You really need to learn to read before answering posts
She NOR her husband initiated this contact - it is related to sports. Don't insult people when you yourself don't have all the facts. It makes you look like a foolish bully.
change providers NOW; i am a midwife and for one, the no answering service sm
and no way to actually get a hold of someone who is at least on call for your OB, is not good practice. i always have a list of others my clients can call if for some reason they cannot get ahold of me in an emergency. top that with your uncomfortableness with the hospital and staff, change now or you will regret it later. most of the time when docs won't accept a late transfer of care is when there has been no prenatal care period. you have that and you could even get a copy of your own records and take to new OB to speed up that process. i can't see you having a good outcome giving how you are already feeling towards the hospital/nurses there.
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.
I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.
I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).
I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical. DD has lots of friends but two real close friends. I guess this is all part of building social skills. I am glad I did okay then.
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
time time time
when I divorced my husband, I felt the same way. some mornings I would wake up crying and missing him, but I really knew that if I was still with him, things would have been the same. chin up, chest out!!! and forward march. it's just hard. you should read the Sweet Potato Queens books. reading them in order is best, but the newest one is the Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide. I say read them in order because she refers back to things in the other books that you will be in the dark about, but your situation sounds critical so maybe just jump right into the Divorce Guide. go to sweetpotatoqueens.com. I have read them all over and over and they are fabulous!!!! need some humor at this time in your life. good luck to you!!
First time I saw it
I really like Jen. Didn't care too much for Sadie.
I think maybe for the first time or maybe just the first time
in a long time - your well is a little more dry - it needs replenishing.... you give and you give and you give and even the most charitable of people need to get something back... I think you just had a dry year and I hope this year people give back to you - if so little as a smile, a hug, a bit of encouragement in whatever way - to help to lift your spirit. You will get it back! :))
Yes. Happens all the time.
x
99% of the time - none.
x
My son would get them all the time - sm
get something to soak the foot in, fill it with water as warm as he can stand it and then mix in about 1 cup of Epsom salts, soak the foot until the water cools.
Will have to do it a few times over a few days but the skin starts to pull back.
tell him not to cut his toenails so short! :)
I look at it as the first time since she sm
was, what 14, that she will have to be in rahab. One problem, Michele Rodriguez from the show Lost went to that jail in 2006 to serve 60 days for a DUI and was let go after several hours due to overcrowding. I sure hope she doesn't get out becuase of something silly like that.
Just take it one day at a time.
I had a miscarriage back in 1993 and for years afterwards I would have a private memorial day on the day that I was due. Time really does help your heart heal, as have my living children.
TB and time
I don't agree because it can take years from the time of exposure. This is such a bad form of TB that anyone in contact with him for quite a while back needs to be watched at least and be followed up. That patient did not even realize he was infected and found out by accident from an x-ray. TB is an interesting disease process and we all need to be careful especially since there are so many people here illegally. I am not trying to start anything about that, but they have not even been medically screened if they came here illegally. They are sitting around in all our ERs, the same ones we go to. They sit next to us on public transportation and work in our restaurants. I have recently worked for physicians who treat a lot of foreign patients and you would be surprised at how many diseases they enter this country with. This is a very serious thing and I find what he did to be very wrong. His father-in-law knew too and works at the CDC. The reason he came back was the way he did was to get the best treatment available, which is here in the US, and I believe his father-in-law told him that. If anyone has been exposed to TB they need to be checked by their physician and followed.
No bra here, either, 90% of the time
If I didn't have these danged D-cups, it would be 100% of the time.
And I go Apache at home, which also means about 90% of the time since I started working at home. I don't think I could wear pants or shorts without underwear. Too much chafing of the delicate areas. But I wear housedresses in summer or in winter warm waffly nightgowns while I work so no need for underwear! 
i think its time to think about YOU
and of course the kids. If he loves them as you say, the distance won't stop him. My heart goes out to you. But do what is right for you this time.
How did I know when it was time?
When I started dreading the fact that he was home instead of worrying why he was't home. Being on my own was harder than I thought even though the relationship was long over. It's a mental thing of course. I felt very alone and vulnerable, but I did get over it. I still panic about the things you mention, although I have always been okay, yes even better. Having plenty of positive, understanding support would be most helpful. Hope you make the right decision.
AHA! Thanks! Most of the time I don't - sm
have a need for an online photo-sharing account, since I usually just email to friends, or print out for my mom, who has no PC. But I printed out your info. for the time when I get around to starting an account with flicker or photobucket.
THANKS for the info!
time
I used to love mornings now be a night person. I am up early but when it comes to feeling like typing rather do it at night.
First time!
Hey, it's my first time here.............
Well, any time you go anywhere ....
without your spouse you are in a compromising position then. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, people around or not. Geesh girls, lighten up on the morality aspect of it. Are your husbands even allowed to TALK to other women? Little girls worry about such things, women do not.
Well, let's see, what do I do with my time? (sm)
My husband is always gone travelling, I work full time, take almost 100% care of the kids, am a Girl Scout leader, Sunday School teacher, volunteer at the school, and help take are of my aging father. I NEVER have time to watch TV and I spend maybe 15 minutes a day on here posting a day. (pretyt much my only outlet) and I do keep my house relatively clean, cook, laundry, etc. If I want to have someone help me with my house so that I have a little more time, that's my business.
Of course, all the time
I question my DH's decisions all the time, especially when it comes to situations like you described. You have a right to your opinion and a right to state it, without being yelled at and without his anger. Men can be so defensive when questioned on a decision they have made, but hey, they just need to get over it. And I think you did the right thing by doing your questioning out of the presence of the children, as it's not good for them to see Mom second guessing Dad or vice versa, cause they will play on that eventually.
Good luck, I know it's hard living with a hard-headed man, trust me I know!
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