A spouse can collect widow benefits at age 60, but the benefit is reduced 21% because you took it ea
Posted By: mm on 2007-05-03
In Reply to: Patti you are so knowlegeable about this sort of thing--sm - nn
So, if his benefit is $1000, you would get $790. If you take you retirement at 62, you can keep the widow benefit, or your benefit, whichever is larger. It's worth taking it early because $790 x 24 months (the difference between age 60 and 62) is almost $19,000. My tax lawyer says always take it early.
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You collect widow's benefit's at age 50, not 60, unless you have a child
under 16. I had to stop my benefits for one year and then got them back when I turned 50.
benefits
Its a standard $3.00 shipping fee. The benefit is that you have a rep that is there to help you with any customer service issues/product help instead of sitting on hold with Avon customer service.
I'm a deer widow this weekend SO
I'm cleaning out the closets and going through my husband's drawers. I swear he has underwear that I don't know what in the world they could cover since they are so tattered!
I'd like to clean my desk and under my bed as well but that may have to wait until he's gone again next weekend.
She's 64, so close to his age. She is a widow whose late husband... SM
left her well taken care of, but she pinches pennies like she's poor. My dad is footing the entire bill for this thing. I guess she add, that she strung my dad along for like four years. She couldn't decide if she wanted to marry him because he was divorced and she didn't think God would want her to marry a divorced man seeing how "God hates divorce." Yet, there was nothing wrong with dating a divorced man, letting him pay for cruises, dinners, doing maintenance on her house and car, mowing her lawn, etc.
Then after four years when he was getting ready to retire and move south, she up and decides she will marry him and now this obnoxious wedding! I'll be honest, I kind of hoped she would keep saying no and dad would just retire and that would be the end of it. Now, I'm faced with the reality that she is going to be, *gulp*, part of my family and it's killing me.
Ah well, thanks for listening to me. I just needed to tell somebody how I felt cause I keep all to myself most of the time.
Anyone know how unemployment benefits work for state of CA? sm
I just do not understand how my SIL is able to even qualify for CA unemployment benefits when she left her job due to her husband being transferred to another state because of the military. She now resides in another state but says she will get close to 1K a month from CA in unemployment benefits for who knows how long. She is not really looking for work right now because she says the wages she is being offered are too low. This sounds mighty fishy to me! Anyone know how this can be possible? 
Medical Leave Question & Health Benefits
I need to go on medical leave. Unfortunately due to my company's size it doesn't qualify for the paid leave provisions.
I can deal with no income for a while, but if I lose my health insurance I can't do it, it would almost better to quit and have COBRA benefits. Does anyone know if companies are required to continue benefits even if they don't have to provide paid leave?
Not if you don't re-marry and you are widowed. I collect, so I know
sorry!
What weird things do you collect?
Got this idea from a poster below and thought it would be very interesting! I don't collect too much, aside from movies and books, but I do have about 15 Care Bear stuffed animals (and I'm 25!). Loved them as a kid, but couldn't always afford them, so I figured I'd get them now!
What about you all? What things do you collect?
Should have been benefit...excuse me (nm)
x
I know they told me 50 and I collect now at the same rate I collected
after his death when the children were little. However, I was 49 when the youngest turned 16, so I had to wait 1 year to re-collect. The laws may have changed since her situation, but I know this is true for me and I have no other extenuating (?) circumstances.
Hubby thinks it is weird that I collect
so many shoes. I just don't see his point.
I collect small shiny things.
When I was a single gal, I used to have "issues" with home shopping channels, but I self-rehabbed. I have a retarded collection of jewelry that I will never wear because I'm scared I'll ruin them or lose them. I really should sell everything, but I could never get back what I paid. Totally not smart at all on my part, but I never could resist sparkly things. I don't collect anything anymore though. I actually have an anti-collect policy for some weird reason.
You are not paying for a thing that does not benefit you, obviously.
x
Also - Talking to his parents would be of no benefit (sm
His parents do not know how to handle him. Calling their son names and telling him that his heart is dark are just making things worse. He might get punished more or yelled at more or cursed at more....that's really gonna help, right? He doesn't need military school or for anyone to beat the meanness out of him. I am not a parent who believes in not disciplining their children....I believe in disciplining appropriately though. If you have witnessed and heard for yourself the things that his parents have said to him, what do you think they must say to him when no one else can hear? Also, often boys who are large for their age get treated so much more harshly by everyone around them.....suppose he was a teeny tiny little 14-year-old saying the same types of things....would you react exactly the same to him?? Because his mentality is the same as that teeny tiny 14-year-old, just in a bigger body.
I collect scrapbooking materials but haven't made one yet!
nm
In your opinion, is there a benefit to forcing children to
My son is at camp for a week. Last night was family night. He cried and begged me to take him home but my husband and his leaders refused and said it would be a big mistake. My husband was an Eagle scout and doesn't want to let this go, but my son hates scouting, hates the weekly meetings, the monthly campouts and is miserable. The places they were sleeping were these three sided buildings with open fronts. They were full of bugs, spiders, bees, etc. They did not have a campfire to scare any critters away. They have see stray cats, racoons, etc. But my son's main issue is having to sleep where there are huge spiders and bees crawling in. He wasn't the only one. About half the other boys there in his room (of about 8) cry themselves to sleep every night. They are not homesick like we are told, they are miserable. I don't want to be the over-reacting mother, and if there really is value in my son doing this, then fine. But I don't see it.
Vote for Hans and benefit Siberian rescue
...Southern Siberian Rescue may win $5,000 in free food from ProPlan. http://www.rallytorescue.com/more_for_pets_voting.aspx Please crosspost and pass this email to any and everyone you know as well!!! I attach a flyer in the event you would like to post at your vets office, your work, local pet stores or anywhere you deem appropriate. :-)
Some of you may remember Hans, the 8 y/o boy we pulled out of Franklin County, NC in August of 2006. He was beat up pretty bad with infected holes in his head and face, teeth hanging horizontally in his mouth, fractured jaw, emaciated, heartworm positive, etc. etc. We did an ebay Auction to raise monies for his medical treatment. Well, Hans was adopted in March to a wonderful couple in Raleigh with a 7 y/o silver and white female Siberian. They just adore him and he is the perfect fit for their family.
We are signed up with ProPlan's Rally to Rescue Program and in February they asked the Ambassadors to submit up to two stories on our rescued pets for their Doing More for Rescued Pets Contest. We submitted Hans' story and they selected him as one of the top 10 finalists. YIPPEE. As a top 10, Southern Siberian Rescue and Hans's adopters win a year of free food for one pet and a 3 day/2 night trip to CA in October for the Rally to Rescue
Ambassador Party, where they will announce the winning pet. They have listed the finalists at http://www.rallytorescue.com/more_for_pets_voting.aspx and voting will go through September 30. Please take a moment and vote for Hans. It only takes a second and costs you nothing. :-) You can submit one vote per email address so if you have multiple email addresses, please vote under each one. The winning pet/rescue will receive $5,000 of free
food and we could really use that food. If you would like to see his transformation pictures you can go to www.southernsiberian.com and his personal website and full story can be seen at http://www.southernsiberian.com/foster_dogs__hans.html.
What a great journey for Hans. It's a true rags to riches story. I can't believe he's a star and going to CA!!!!! He is also a TV star now too as NBC 17 did a story on him June 22. It was a fantastic story. What a great adventure for a boy that had such a rough start.
Thanks.
Dawne
Southern Siberian Rescue
Yeah that's my fear. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but (sm)
I don't want to be a dummy either
Dairy Queen Blizzards purchased today will benefit the Children's Miracle Network, so
f
Ex-spouse
They are divorced. Get independent and stay independent of him unless she really loves torture.
Maybe Joe's spouse does not like the sm
idea either. It would of been nice if he said lets hang out with Joe's family to see if it everyone was compatible.
Do any of you have a spouse
who can't say no to other people? How do you work it out? Are you just stuck always being the "bad guy?"
Unfortunately, the entire United States is having a difficult financial time. It is obviously not just our household. We have cut back everywhere we can, and I mean everywhere. Our families are having difficult problems as well. We also have an ex-spouse and have had unexpected increases in child support, etc. recently along with unexpected additional expenses where this is concerned. Basically, the child "needs" new glasses, etc. even though the child really doesn't but according to the court we have to pay accordingly. It just seems like it is one thing after another and I know it is for everyone, although the circumstances may be slightly different.
My problem is that I have been telling my husband for months that this was coming, along with Christmas, birthday, etc. He hasn't wanted to accept it. Although we have cut back on many things, on my initiative, it just has not sunk in for him until now...when everything finalized and we dont' know how we are going to pay all of our bills. To top this off, he can't seem to say no to having his nephews stay the weekend, talking to his family about NOT exchanging gifts, etc. I'm the "bad guy" because he is ok with all of it although he admits he has no idea where the money is going to come from. I have been upfront with my family and when people ask me but is it too much to ask that he do the same? I dont' know if it is a man thing, hurting his pride or what but he is so depressed and upset about our financial state, yet can't say no even to the smallest thing. But of course he wants to constantly remind me (the cheap skate and tight-a$$) to cut back on groceries, etc. which I cannot possibly do any more than I have already. We have nothing left in savings. We have no Christmas fund.
I'm just frustrated this morning and don't know where to go from here. I don't want to say "I told you so" but I did tell him and he had no concerns until now...when we are seemingly headed towards financial trouble. I have been working OT but his OT has been cut indefinitely from his employer. I'll be darned if I'm getting a second job so he doesn't have to cut back. I must say he doesn't buy things for himself..its just the piddling away of $20 here and $20 there on top of our already mounting unexpected expenses.
if a spouse cheats...
I'm watching this little polling on Today show (just eating breakfast, i never watch this stuff!) and it says 63% of people would try to save their marriage if their spouse cheated and 73% of the reason was for companionship.
Personally.... I am not sure I have the capabilty of getting over something like that. I think forgiveness is a huge part of life and relationships... but maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's about pride... but I'm not sure I could work through something like that!! I just don't know what could possibly be an excuse! The ladies on are saying, it usually signifies something that needs to be worked on in a relationship, well OBVIOUSLY! And I am not one of those people that thinks if you cheat you dont love the person... but I certainly think it would be really hard to work through or accept, and knowing myself I'm not thinking I could get over it, so I guess I'd be in the percentage of NOT ever wanting to know...
I dunno, I do think it's human nature to be attracted to many different people (i am myself)... but is it human nature to want to physically be with other people? I guess cheating can be emotional as well...
just random thoughts before I get to work!
Have a great day
if a spouse cheats
I have to tell you from the other side of the coin that sometimes people grow apart for one reason or another and things happen. Most people do not cheat because they are looking for something physical. They are missing an emotional connection and find it elsewhere. On the other side of this is that sometimes, not always but sometimes, when the other spouse finds out and realizes why it happened they can work through it together to get back what was missing and what brought them together in the 1st place. I speak from the know on both sides and can tell you that you can get past it and actually end up in a much better place than you ever were before. .
Unemployed Spouse
Is it possible he might be doing something behind your back and acusing you to justify something he has done.
Have your spouse cut your hair
Guys, if you keep your hair short, buy hair clippers with a set of clips and hand over the clippers to your spouse. You may have a couple of cuts that result in a buzzed head, but unless she’s got horribly unsteady nerves, she’ll figure it out.
Dear Spouse:
Please find a girlfriend. I'm sick and tired of taking your crap.
Hugs,
JMHO
Cheating Spouse?
Have you ever caught your spouse cheating? If so, how did you catch him/her?
cheating spouse
I worked day shift and he worked 3-11 so for a few years we would hardly see each other at all. First, let me say that my husband is kind of messy. I would notice that when I came home from work, my home was in the same order that I left it in the morning. Even the curtains had not been opened yet. There were no dirty dishes. There was no sign anybody had been home all day. I would ask and he would always have an excuse..went to play golf before work, went to a ball game, had lunch with the guys, etc.
Then a woman started calling the house in the evening asking for my husband. I would say he was at work, ask if I could take a message and she would say no and hang up. She would call about 3 to 4 evenings a week. I asked my husband who she was and he would say he didn't know.
Then, HER husband called and left a message on our machine one day while we were out. He didn't say any names, just said stay away from my wife or I'm going to come over and beat your a$$. I asked who was that and my husband said he didn't know.
This all happened over about 4 months when he was offered a transfer with work out of state and we took it. He never admitted having an affair but I know he did. That was 16 years ago. We are still together and before everyone flames me, I will tell you that the man has paid dearly for that little fling. We've never discussed it because how can you discuss something he won't admit to? He didn't leave the house for years without taking 1 or all the kids with him, even to the grocery store or the post office. He never got to do anything he wanted to do, no more boys night out, no more golf weekends, etc. It got to the point where I was feeling sorry for him but he never said a word.
Now that we're in our 50s, I wish someone would take him so he'd leave me alone!
Being a military spouse, I think that...
she should qualify for unemployment, but not indefinitely. She paid in to California unemployment insurance and had to relocate because her spouse is serving our country. She should, in my opinion, be able to draw on unemployment from California for a reasonable period of time until she can get another job. However, that is one of the reasons I like this job. I take it with me whenever I move.
Ex-spouse on health insurance?
My daughter just told me about a proposal her ex has suggested. He is close to a thousand dollars in arrears for back child support. Now he wants to negotiate a deal where my daughter will accept about half of what he owes in exchange for his adding her to his job health insurance. She is self-employed and has not had health insurance coverage since their divorce.
I don't think he can do that, can he? Since he has lied about so many things I don't think she will do that unless he can prove she can be covered. Even if he could add her, what would keep him from dropping her for spite if there are problems down the road? Any thoughts? Thank you.
Marriage may be a vow, but if OPs spouse was unfaithful then she has
y
Here is why you DO NOT take an abuse spouse like this to counseling sm
BTDT a couple of times. He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me.
He told counselor: She makes me angry. Counselor looks at me: Why do you feel the need to make him angry?
He told the counselor: I don't like her looks. Counselor asks me: I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)
He told the counselor: She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?). THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids. Counselor: Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?
LOUSY counselor. I went to another one on my own who said: You may not have bruises, but you are being abused. I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time. It may take you some time to choose to get out. So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door. HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone.
So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT. You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't. I am a person too, as is DONE. Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me. DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great. Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done. You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me. Toro poo poo.
Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.
Cheating spouse/boyfriend, etc.
Many years ago I was married to a cheating spouse. I was pregnant with our second child when he took it upon himself to cheat with an underage girl in the back of our brand new station wagon. Well, I learned about this when a paternity suit came up with his name on it. Apparently he was so dumb that he did not know the girl had a boyfriend and being the sucker that he was he did not know that they would pin the paternity on him, and get money from him. Too bad it wasn't in this day and time because he would have been in jail because she was only 17, and he was in his 30s. This was only 1 in a string of women that I found out after the fact, and even contracted an STD when I was pregnant!! I also suffered spousal abuse, and have the scars to prove it. After 5 years of this I got out,and the only reason I stayed was for the children, but that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, whenever, I hear or see this on a program it makes me furious that these men think this behavior is okay. It is never okay and leaves many people, including children, to suffer much heartache.
Likening a spouse to a dog or horse...
imagine if a male doc suggested treating a wife like that; the outrage would be heard round the world. Maybe acting like adults and having a conversation like a married couple would help. How demeaning to treat a husband that way. Where do you women find these men that you have to "train"? Gesh, I always thought my DH was fabulous...now I am CERTAIN he is!
No muss, no fuss, no spouse -
.
Do you yell at your kids/spouse?
I grew up in a family of non-yellers. Even when he was drunk, my dad didn't yell. I've raised my voice to DH twice in our entire 34 years together, and one of those times was excused because I was pregnant, hot and miserable. I've never raised my voice to my kids.
Several of my friends are big-time yellers. It makes me cringe when I hear it. I guess cause I'm not used to it.
Buying a house with someone who is not legally your spouse, is
I filed separate from my spouse at the time--sm
against an old (over 10 years) student loan that I had. That was the only thing I filed against and it was way before my spouse and I had even married. Even though I filed in my name only, it affected his credit too, just because we were married. It continued to affect his credit even after we divorced 10 years later. Better think twice. It is not always a good idea to file bankruptcy as a way out of debt. Cut up those cards and start paying cash for things you want/need. The interest on most of those cards will keep you in debt forever. Been there! but not any more! good luck to you!
Has anyone filed bankruptcy separate from their spouse?
My husband and I have all bills and checking accounts separate except for the cars and we split the household bills. I have a ton of credit card debt and with MT pay being less all the time, was thinking this may be the only way out. I know the spouse doesn't have to file if their name isn't on the account, but is this very hard to do? Thanks for any info.
does every woman experience being hit by her spouse at some point? sm
I have had such a hard time getting over my husband hitting me (pulled my hair, banged my head into a carport pole, bruised my arms.) It has been four years. Yes, I have posted on here before. We are now in the process of separating. He never hit me since that time four years ago. But he believes I never forgave him. I feel that I did forgive him, but it changed the way I felt about him. that plus many other problems we have had over the years. Now we are separating because we have been together 20 years, 5 dating and 15 married, and we seem to have argued the entire time. We have never seen eye to eye. But we still care about each other and it is very, very sad. I feel heartbroken on one hand that my marriage is ending, and hopeful on the other hand that maybe my life will get better in some ways. I know monetarily it will not get better. I am hoping that it will be happier though. But what a huge failure. I am wondering if everyone experiences some type of abuse like that at some point in their marriage and I am just being a baby for not just forgetting about it.
My rant: I agree cheating on one's spouse is never SM
acceptable. The one thing that REALLY bothers me, is that men claim that they have to cheat, since sex with their wives is no longer exciting and that their wife won't do what paid companions will and my thought is always the same "Did you ASK her?". If they ask nicely, I'm sure loving wives would be more than willing to comply. Within reason, of course.
For those of you happily married, where did you meet your spouse? sm
Just a curious question. I am single and I am thinking if I stay in church, that might be the best place to meet a good man these days when one finally comes around. It really gets me that some people meet their spouses in a bar and then wonder how they married an alcoholic, lol!
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