A local nursing home might appreciate a visit.
Posted By: :) on 2007-11-17
In Reply to: Looking for good volunteer project for 12 y/o daughter - ThankfulMT
xx
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I had to place my mom in a nursing home
temporarily when she broke her hip the first time. It was very hard. (I had made a promise to her that I would never put her in one when she got older.) I visited her every day and every day she begged to come home. She didn't realize that it was only temporary. She was in a good home with great PT and activities but she wouldn't join in on any of the activities. In fact, she was almost afraid to walk at all. I would go during her PT and encourage her to keep up because the sooner she could walk with little assistance, the sooner she could come home. The PT team was great, too, always encouraging her, and she did her best.
I found out that they had a hairdresser that came in every week and I paid to get her a haircut and style. After that, she kind of settled in a little bit, but still begged to come home.
Thank heavens, she was only there 2 months. I don't think I could have stood it much longer. Then when it was time to come home, she wanted to bring the furniture with her. LOL They had cherry dressers and headboards. It was almost like a regular bedroom.
Mom's boyfriend was also in a nursing home after suffering a stroke a year after mom died and I went to visit him every day. They were not as good as the one mom was in. They would wheel him into the hall and he sat there for hours. No one came to see if he needed anything. The room was awful, so small and cheap furniture with old iron hospital beds. Reminded me of a regular hospital. Talked to his son and that's all the insurance company would cover for him so he was stuck.
As the other poster said, research the homes as much as possible. Go when the activities and/or PT is taking place and just watch. Talk to the people that live there if possible. Talk to activity director, DON, etc. before deciding. Check the rooms. Watch to see if the CNA's or nurses check on the patients to see if anything is needed. Check to see what happens after private insurance runs out; i.e., where the patients go after that. Mom would have been transferred to the first (MediCare) floor, but she came home before that.
nursing home decision
I am living this as we speak. My father died in March of 2007. My mother became bedridden in June 2007. I had hospice come in to assist, Home Health and Hospice to be exact, and they are wonderful. They actually have their own private nursing home-type facility in the next town over. With hospice, on an occasional basis and when a bed is available, they offer the caregiver a 5-day respite at their facility. After momma went for the first time she was offered a bed there and I immediately accepted. The facility is very small and only for the 3HC clientele, with only 12 private rooms divided into 2 sides - one side with 6 beds for the terminal clients and one side with 6 beds for "residential" clients. Momma was able to stay on the residential side for 7 months; however, her condition was "stable" and Medicare would no longer pay the fee. Momma came home after that and I have again been her primary caregiver since January of this year. She is contractured, bedridden, and rarely speaks or opens her eyes. I do have a sitter that works during the daytime hours M-F so that I can actually work, run errands when I need to, and get the kids to and from school because otherwise I cannot leave the house at all because momma cannot be left alone.
I feel blessed to have found this line of work not quite 6 years ago. I have a 4-1/2 year old and a 6 year old and momma to care for so working from home has been a lifesaver.
I, too, made the promise to momma that I would not "put" her in a nursing home and I will stand by that. It's all there is left that I can do for her. Not to mention, the fact that she owns a home and has income from my late father's investments, it would cost upwards of $6,000 per month to have her placed in one, and even though the estate could pay for that, I think it's ridiculous for the type of "care" most of the public places provide.
It's a tough decision to make - even tougher if there aren't funds available like there are in our case (thanks to my great daddy) to pay for the sitter to come in and assist. But when the sitter isn't here, the kids and I must be. For the most part they understand, but sometimes they really just want to go somewhere or to the park or to McDonalds and we just can't do it. It's a huge personal sacrifice for your entire family to make to keep a parent at home. The decision isn't always just personal, though. It can be financial, too.
You will make the right decision for whatever your situation is. Whatever you decide to do, just know that your parent respects you enough to make that decision for them and that they love you.
Best of luck to you honey... hugzzzzz
nursing home - hardest decision ever sm
I had also made those promises to my folks, Dad was kept home on hospice 14 months, he had suffered brain damage from not being found for hours and was awful to all of us but we managed with a hospital bed, hospice and nurses, however, my whole family fell apart, fighting, etc., until he fell so many times and was so sick, we called 911 one night for help and hospice literally threw us out of the program. You are supposed to call them (in my state anyway) and they will sit with you while you watch them take their last breaths. Could not go through with that. Then we had no choice but nursing home, they took every cent they could get their hands on without touching my mom's and he didn't last long there. The key to those places is to research them first as when they send them from the hospital, they put them anywhere there's an opening and some are awful. So research, visit, check for smells, cleanliness, staff, the usual. If it comes to that, always visit at odd hours, with them never knowing when you're going to show up, that keeps them more on their toes. I brought all the laundry home rather than leaving it with them, as they lose it or in the case of valuables, sometimes take them. It's the worst decision in the world to make and the only way you're going to feel good about it is to research, research, and "show up" to check on them. Sometimes they'll talk you into the "assisted living" scenario, and after they clean out the bank book, they put them in a nursing home anyway, so that's a crock. Went through it with my mom as well, and she didn't make it home, I still to this day question myself as to whether my transcription work was worth it, and I have to say, if I had given it up, my kid wouldn't have gone to the college he went to, many other things would have been denied. You are in the "sandwich generation" between what to do with the parent and if you have kids, what is best for them. It's the worst place to be and only you can pray for guidance as to what to do. Bottom line - research carefully and watch for smoke and mirrors, just "show up" and if you don't like it, transfer to another facility. I think everyone who has posted feels your pain. We have enough with listening to it all day; it's tough to walk that walk. Take care, hopefully you will make the right decision. In some states you can have her in a nursing home and if she qualifies, you can also have hospice go in there for special care such as you desire for her comfort. Good luck, know we are all thinking of you.
Has anyone here had the painful problem of having to place their parent in a nursing home? SM
My beautiful dad passed away last year. My mother and father were devoted to one another, my mother always "taken care of" by my father in every way, married 67 great years. My mom has always had excellent health, but after about 1-1/2 years, she has deteriorated to the point where I do not know her and I am scared, she is frail, not eating, almost unable to walk, struggles to dress herself or do for herself, will not accept a home health aide, we are trying to cook and clean for her at home but it is getting very scary, she just turned 90 and she seems to be failing fast. I am so sorry this is so long, but it is all so complicated, it is like she gave up the second my dad died. Anyone go through this yet????
We've done that! You can bring pets to my grandma's nursing home on certain days (sm)
You have to go through a little evaluation with your animal, but they have cat days and dog days and you can bring your pets. Walter is a huge patient sweetie - 120 pounds of shiny black fur and muscle - he is quite young and very solid and built. Some of the residents love him so much. He will just slowly walk up to someone he feels might be receptive to him, and when they put their hand out he gets under it and next thing you know he has his big head in their lab and they are slowly petting him, over and over and over. It is so heartwarming when you are watching.... I mean literally your heart is so full you can feel it in your throat. I've had to hide my tears every time.
Sometimes a resident, usually a gentleman, will talk about a dog he used to have with the clearest memory.
A funny thing happened when Walter was getting some attention from a women in a wheelchair and he leaned against her and I saw her wheelchair was slowly being pushed across the lawn.
Next door neighbor is a Physician's Asst. in local ER. He keeps his black doc bag packed for home
s
Ours attend local college PT and still live at home. Hard to make ends meet "out there" on
s
Con-nursing
that's too bad - because you missed some really great times if you stopped at around a year - I know that a lot of women stop when they go back to work - but that is not even necessary - your milk stabilizes to meet the child's schedule. Any other questions?
I was in nursing then pre-med.
My vet always says I should be a vet. I just have time for more school right now but maybe when the kids are older. I think this will be a great way to see if I want to go into people and animal medicine. I get to start on Saturday! :-)
nursing
There is such a shortage of nurses, I say go for it. Both my SIL and BIL got their nursing degrees in their 40s and say it was the best thing they ever did. They work together as traveling nurses now and have seen the country. Good luck.
Are you really a nursing student?
Public health 101 - THEY ARE CONTAGIOUS!!!!! No, they are not an infectious disease, but all you have to do is stand next to a child with lice, brush up against them, brush up against their jacket, use the same computer headphones, etc., and instantly they have made you head a home now!
Obviously you have never had a child with this, or you would understand how frustrating it is. We bagged all the stuffed animals, steam cleaned mattresses, pillows, furniture, washed EVERYTHING in the house, etc., did all the treatment on my daughter's hair, and we got rid of them. I don't think you understand how much work this is, but we did it willingly to get rid of these pests. However, two weeks later my daughter came home with them AGAIN, because that same child's parents simply washed her hair in NIX, did not pick out the nits, and did not treat anything else in their house. This child was infested with lice, and she was allowed to be in school. The school nurse said there was nothing they could do about it as far as letting parents know because of privacy issues.
Out of 24 kids in her class, 16 of them got lice. The only ones who did not were the boys, because most of them had buzz cuts.
I don't think the OP was critizing or ridiculing the little girl, just stating how frustrated she is at the school system for allowing this to happen. She does not need to be in school where she can spread these to everyone she comes in contact with. I don't think the OP is being a pain in their butts, and I sincerely doubt that a family who is not willing to take care of a problem their child has is going to welcome outside help!
I really hope that you never have to experience this, because it is horrible. Just imagine your child knows (and can feel) that there are hundreds and hundreds of bugs crawling around on their head, making them itch like crazy!! My daughter begged me to make them go away, she could feel them crawling constantly, and it angers me that she should have to be subject to this repeatedly because someone is too lazy to EFFECTIVELY treat their child.
Enough said!
Nursing program
I am 49 years old, have been an MT for 7 years and am thinking of going back to school for an RN degree. Wonder what my chances of getting into the program are (I know there's always a waiting list, but of course that depends on the school one chooses too; I live in GA), and how long this all might take.....??? I made As and Bs in high school and aced the transcription program at a local 2-year technical college...................any thoughts? Should I forget about it? I don't want to be unreasonable, but having thoughts about doing something to make more money. I have one child who is a senior in college and have 2 boys to put through college eventually, so more money sure would be nice.
nursing school
Yes, Wellstar is close to me, well the one in Douglasville, (very, very close) is. Wellstar Cobb is about a 30-minute drive, depending, of course, on what time of day one goes. Kennestone is further, 45 minutes to an hour. They have (or used to have) teaching programs onsite? Do they pay for one to go to school as well?
nursing homes
The most popular person in a nursing home is a man who still drives. He has all the widows he wants lined up.
I know they have nursing/rehab homes that do this - sm
My mom was to go to one to get her strength back, do rehab, etc. when she was sick 2 years go--unfortunately she died before that could happen though. My dad though had requested I go up every weekend to help him out once my mom was home (4 hours away), which I would have done. In your case I think it is pretty nervy of her family to ask you to take on this huge responsibility. They should either arrange for her to go to a good nursing/rehab home to get the care she needs, or if they want her to stay with you (why can't she stay with any of them?) and hire a 24-hour nursing service to take care of her, then fine. I suspect they do not want to pay for anything (they see you as free labor), and as she has no insurance she cannot foot the bill herself. I'd lay out for them what your day is like (full schedule) and how it would be impossible for you to do your job (and keep it) and take care of your MIL at the same time. You can always see if you can go PT and tell them they have to pay you for the difference you would be losing in pay in order to take care of her properly (if you decide to do it); or you take a leave for 3 months and they pay you your full salary, see what the cheap skates say then. Good luck.
State Nursing Boards
That's terrible! I'm an LPN as well as an MT. Here in Colorado there is a State Board of Nursing that licenses all nurses - RNs, LPNs, and CNAs, investigates complaints, etc. You might try googling the name of your state along with something like "nursing board" and see if there is a similar agency. Please be careful, and I hope you resolve this situation very soon!
Nursing Patron Saint sm
Does anyone know who the Patron Saint of Nurses is? When I tried googling it there is more than one. I want to get my daughter a medal for graduation that she can wear with her cross. TIA
nursing patron saint
St. Catherine of Siena
A nursing uniform supply store may know or have them. nm
nm
by this point, it is called "pacifying" not nursing. sm
one of my didn't wean til after that age and it was the comfort that it was providing and her not being able to fall asleep on her own, especially since you specified mornings, naps, and bedtime. you will have to train him to fall asleep on his own without the "pacie". when mine was that old, i ended up telling her mommy had a boo-boo. yep, sounds strange, but i had tried everything and nothing worked. i had to put band-aids on my nipples for about 2 weeks. she would then try to suck beside my boo-boo at first til she eventually weaned herself off it altogether. yep, walked around with what looked like hickies on my boobs for about 2 weeks but boy was it worth it!!!!! also, try what others suggested and get someone else to help out with bedtimes/naptimes til you dry up.
Hi, Jan; used to be in nursing, still have my books, sleep paralysis....sm
along with hypnagogic hallucinations, cataplexy, and narcolepsy all fall into the same category in Neuro, it is recognized and documented. I will not go into the syndromes here, but if you Google up some of the educational articles from medical web sites, there are tons of information. It is real, and thank your lucky stars that you don't experience anything like this.
Certain drugs CAN do freaky things with your sleep/wake cycles like vivid dreams and such, but it is usually self-limited to the med, and when the med is stopped, the problem goes. I have had some of these syndromes going back to childhood, and have had them documented with sleep study EEGs and such because they were so disturbing, seems to happen in clusters and then go away for years, don't know why. And NO, I am not currently on tranquilizers or sleep meds, I take vitamins and supplements, but someone is not a "whacko" if they need them. I don't mean to preach at ya, here, but feel bad for some of the above posters, they need answers and compassion.
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
I am going to visit my mom...
I work Wed-Sun, so I will be off tomorrow. So, my daughter is going to take me to visit my mom who lives approx.2 hours away. I am really looking forward to my visit. She is a beautiful lady. She has Alzheimer's plus some other things going on, but when she is here mentally, I enjoy every moment, down to the twinkle in her eye.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Daughter just passed her state nursing boards. Whoopeee!!!! (sm)
She worked weekends only while she was in school and had 2 children 8 and 5. Child support was fairly regular to the big tune of $329 a month. She did get state assistance on daycare for the youngest, her friend owned a mobile home and let her use it for free, just paying lot rent. We helped with utilities, clothing, and food. Her sister did the babysitting weekends while she worked and helped out while she studied at night. All in all, it was a combined effort and we are all so proud. She worked hard to get to the point where she can now buy a nice home and support her children on her own. So proud, just had to brag.
I had a fellow nursing student way back with a Jamaican patois who
s
No free visit.
It was $75 to adopt her because they can't find a spay scar. I got a $10 certificate towards a rabies vaccination and $40 toward a spay.
I finally got her to eat some catfood, I know not the best thing in the world for her but I just wanted her to eat anything at this point.
I think she might be puking too from all the hair she's chewing off herself. I don't know how she's doing that. The bottom front teeth are broken down to the gum line and her top teeth are broken at different levels and she's missing one completely.
Hopefully whatever is going on is easily treatable.
C'mon visit us in NC
Hayseed, we've got daffodils, crocus, phlox, forsythia, tulip trees, Bradford pear trees blooming. The rest of the trees are budding. We're about 2 weeks from green. :-)
Come visit anytime you want!
visit to the other side
I was at a bridge and on the other side I saw people sitting on lush lawn and playing in the water, lots of laughter, etc. I was met by a spirit who said (telepathically) that I had things to do before I came in but that it was totally my decision to stay or return. I chose to return. That evening I told my doctor the whole story, from the moment the nurse told him I had passed to what they did to my body next and my experience on the other side. Needless to say, he was speechless. This was in 1964 and none of these experiences had been published yet.
Definitely a podiatrist visit
I had to take my daughter a few months ago and she had a severe case of athlete's foot. Her feet always stunk and then she complained that they hurt and they were peeling and cracking like crazy. The podiatrist said it would take months to clear up. Feet are nothing to fool around with. I'd definitely make an appointment.
visit letssaythanks.com
And send someone in the military a personalized free printed postcard. This would be totally cool if a bunch of us did this. Let's shower them with these very cute cards.
Tell your sister she can come visit, and tell him to
You can always get another spouse, but you can't get another sister.
Actually, the first visit was 4 hours.
The next two were 2 hours each, if that matters.
Well he doesn't even want to go visit his dad at all (sm)
asks me not to make him go. But he says he loves where we moved and part of the time he seems much happier. I think he just thought that when we moved there would be no rules. I will look into some counseling for him though. thanks
Like the Oriental rug one. Do you visit
aa
DOCTOR VISIT
Where is one you will not believe: My sister has emphysema. She went to a pulmonary specialist. He sent her for a bunch of tests. On her next visit to him, he tells her she has 1-2 years to live or less. She started crying. He said "Are you crying?" She just looked at him. He said "Why are you crying?"
Well, you can imagine how upset we have been over the last 3 months. It was hard for me to even talk to her, as we cried the whole time. I would try to comfort her, but I needed comforting too, as she is the only relative I have left other than my immediate family.
She called me last night and said "I AM NOT DYING." It seems the tests were all mixed up from the hospital where she had them done. I told her we should sue them for all they have put us through. I cannot believe they did this. You just have no ideal what we have been through. You can imagine what my sister and her husband have been through. I am so glad she called me immediately and told me.
Make sure his Will is made out and pray. I've seen too many people like this in my nursing career
s
I would tell them not to visit unannounced any longer.
:)
One hint - when a dog lover can't visit or
travel places that others think are fun - its because the person doesn't want to do it! Best excuse in the world.... I know...
I pick at them until they come off. Cheaper than a dr visit
nm
DH and I went visit stepdaughter in Naples, Fl.
xx
Visit from polar bear
Interspecies play. Click link below.
So cute!! You must visit this site...
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
There's a clever caption for that picture of yours there, I just know it... :-D
I had my postoperative visit today.
the surgeon said that I am doing very well. My first band fill is in two weeks.
I have absolutely no regrets!!
One day our pastor stopped by for a visit
and my son, who was 5 then, was talking to him. The pastor asked my son what time his bedtime was and he replied, "it's s'posed to be 9 o'clock, but mommy says we piss 'round till 10." I almost died of embarrassment. Unfortunately, pissin' is a word I use quite often and never realized how much kids picked up on it. Thankfully, the pastor laughed and said he understood completely as he grew up on a farm and there was a lot of that going on there.
Appreciate your feedback, if you visit the site.
//
Ahh, that's why I don't visit political board.
aa
a 4-hour visit? i don't think i could tolerate something like that
:)
Want to tell you about my Salt Lake visit
as you said your MIL there. I visited there and that was the best smelling city I think I have ever been in. I wrote email to the chamber of commerce there stating that. Have no idea where the sweet smell from but wonderful smell walking on the steets there.
Having your children visit at work does not just go along
with a small town setting. I lived and worked in Atlanta and the hospital I was at did not want family members to visit at any time, kids, mothers, aunts. Being small town has nothing to do with this practice and I think it makes sense myself.
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