A funeral is not the time or place for your friend to take a stance over something done 10 yrs ago.
Posted By: KyMT on 2007-12-10
In Reply to: No respect for new name... - Judith
I don't mean to sound harsh, but for your friend to even "think" about saying anything right now would be selfish and inconsiderate. He has had 10 years to deal with this issue. Why now??
I really tried to look at this issue from all angles and to be honest, just really don't "get it." I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to change a name they have had for at least 18 years. If my daughter changed her name, I would be absolutely devastated. Unless she was in the Witness Protection Program, I would continue to call her by the name she was given after 26 hours of labor and delivery. I'm not sure I could call her by another name even if I wanted to. It may not sound like much, but your friend is really asking a lot from people. Old habits DO die hard and this is so much more than just a habit.
If a friend of mine did this and it meant THAT much to her, I suppose I would try to make her happy. Without knowing all of the details, it's hard say for sure. One thing I do know is that if your friend is going to address this, he needs to wait for the appropriate opportunity. The timing he chooses could have a significant impact on the outcome.
Do you mind me asking why your friend did something this drastic?
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- No respect for new name... - Judith
- A funeral is not the time or place for your friend to take a stance over something done 10 yrs ago. - KyMT
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I am in the same place but my time is worth as
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I came twice into situations where I escaped death.
Don't you remember Ronald Reagan's stance on abortion? sm
It was "I'm PRO-CHOICE. If the unborn baby has a choice, I am PRO-CHOICE."
Every time my mom sent my best friend and I sm
to pick berries there were never enough to make a cobbler. We ate more than we picked.
Reread and don't see anything I did not see the first time. Try being a better friend.
If she were mine, I would accept her with all her faults, if I were really her friend. You are judging on something you seem to know so little about. I see another MT signed on telling you forgetfulness is not what she nor I want to do, it is just us. Thank goodness, not disowned because I forget!!
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Friend of mine got the same note from her kid, but she was only 23 at the time.
s
That's about the time I would have gotten dressed, called up a girl friend - sm
And gone to a movie or something. I would also make dern sure that I got home at least an hour AFTER he gets home. Let him wonder.
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funeral
I think the Harley guys are actually Vietnam war vets. We had the same thing happen here - the Kansas group is not making many converts to their way of thinking.
Funeral
I know they keep saying if you do not agree with a post...DO NOT RESPOND..... so they have to BLACK to grieve.....
Funeral
Not flaming you.....very good post.....
oh wow! why protest at someone's funeral?--sm
How about a little compassion for the family of the one who was killed? my goodness. this is not the place to hold an anti-war protest!!! Most of these soldiers probably had no choice in where they were sent while serving out country. I am against the war too, but as much as I am against it, I would leave the families of the departed to grieve in peace. how rude! How do the bikers get involved in keeping the peace??? sorry, I just really don't know about all of this.
Not worse than the funeral I went to
NM
Missing funeral
Male a donation in the girl's name to the Natinal Kidney Foundation or some other kidney charity with a nice note.
funeral protester
Is it that same woman with her 8 kids that were picketing the soldiers funerals. That woman is a disgusting disgrace and they should arrest her for disturbing the peace. That ugly SOB. All she wants is media coverage and she should be arrested for child abuse for making her kids learn all this nonsense she is spewing out. I would like to see the people take it upon theirselve to knock the crap out of this woman and have he police just stand by and let her get the crap beat out of that scumball.
There is a funeral in our area this weekend for ...
a soldier killed in Iraq and just found out those wonderful people from Kansas are planning to attend. 
Song not any worse than my at the funeral I went to
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maybe the funeral home has an on-line
site to offer words or comfort to the family. I've seen a couple of these. What to say? just what is on your heart, "cannot find words to express..", that your heart hurts with them...you care...
I keep dreaming about going to a funeral and in the middle SM
of the service the deceased gets up and falls on ME! No kidding. Two nights ago TWO of them in one night! What the hay does that mean??? I need your wisdom and guidance!
the funeral thing could be entirely new thread
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Pianists out there - I need music for a funeral
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can people say goodbye without a funeral?
I think i will be faced with this predicament before too long. Husband says he does not want a funeral. Yet i wonder if his kids can say their farewells and be emotionally okay without one? anyone with experience or thoughts on this?
My mom ddnt want a viewing or funeral
I tried to uphold her wishes but her one sister did not have "closure" without some sort of pomp, so five months after mom died (was cremated), I held a small service at the cemetery (didn't want to, but wanted the aunt to have her "closure." She never showed up!
Both hubby and I are not going to have a viewing or funeral and the kids know it. I'm getting cremated, while he wants to be buried the regular way 'cuz he hates being hot. LOL
You can have closure without the above. In fact, in my case, it just brought all the sadness back to the surface and it took me another couple months to get back to normal again. Think of it this way, as mom used to say: "I want people to remember me as I was, not as I am."
Hope this helps.
I personally think the funeral is what makes you an emotional wreck.
Funerals compound the grief for me. The dark lighting, the sad music, the morbid displaying of a dead body in the casket! No way for me. I hope to God my parents don't want funerals.
Memorial service, no problem.
I think the traditional funeral service is antiquated and just makes things worse.
a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
Sorry, don't believe in that place either!
Hmmm, that was a very christian-like post - NOT! lol
she's in a much better place now
and with her son. I wonder who raises the baby.
there's a place for everyone
:)
That's why this is no place for it
I can tell you right now a lot of people would not like that. I asked someone how they would like it if it was the satanic bible and they have yet to answer. Although they were mighty quick to come back accusing me of being a non-believer when they have no idea what my background is. People don't want the Koran or Tanakh or the Jehovan bible (if they have one), the Wiccan Book of Days, or better yet, how about the Satanic bible. No, they wouldn't like that. To them its the bible or nothing else. People need to keep their religious beliefs to themselves.
I think I might have already gotten something to take the place
My husband the other day told me we needed some new towels, others worn. I thought well just let him get those as I seem to always be the one to buy things needed in the home. Yesterday UPS delivered a brand new 32 inch television to me, an early birthday gift for March from hubby. This morning I went out and bought him lots of new towels (and wash cloths also).
In the first place...sm
Sounds like he went to rehab for all the wrong reasons. Namely, for you, not for himself. The only way an alcoholic/addict has any chance for long-term recovery is to want sobriety more than he or she wants anything in the world. You work the program not for your family, not for your friends, not for your employer, but for yourself. Otherwise, he'll go right back out. Trust me on this.
Meanwhile, get yourself to Al-Anon STAT! The Al-Anon program shows you how to detach and take care of yourself and have your own life. It shows you how to make healthy decisions for yourself and not to enable to alcoholic/addict.
Best of luck to YOU.
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something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
What happened in the first place??
x
I'd have a BIG problem with it. Not her place. (nm)
x
Yes I would - it's not the teacher's place to do this....sm
shouldn't they be spending time teaching anyway instead of being worried about what kids do and don't believe in outside of the classroom?
Teachers are being allowed to do whatever they want this day in time. My high schooler listens to her biology teacher rant and rave each day about the "evils" of eating meat and she's sick of hearing it every day and is anxious for the end of the semester next week to get rid of this obsessive teacher.
Maybe look for a bed and breakfast place in that...
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It's OUR place to tell our government that
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NO WAY. It is not your place to tell them, let their parents tell them when they
think the time is right!!!!!
"No other place...."
NO OTHER PLACE
By Sondra Stallman ( poetry from II Cor. 5:8)
I turn and walk down a corridor.
Even though it is a strange and different place, I am not afraid to walk it.
There is a deep quiet here, like a hush and a soft sound of singing.
Everything has gone white. I am in a Most Awesome Presence.
There is no time nor space.
The Presence is all encompassing.
There is no “air” as I know it, yet I care not.
I am still. I feel no need at all.
No hunger. No thirst. I’m not tired.
The greatest change within me is the total lack of desire to utter a single word.
My thoughts seem to have stopped. It is like I am floating.
I have always been very conscious of my “self”….my “body”….my “thoughts”,
my perception of things around me! In this place, I am utterly emptied of “self.”
My awareness is keen, however, of the Presence that is everywhere.
It is a Peace so deep it sustains all things that come near.
I feel as if I’ve been shot into the very center of a hot and burning star.
I can feel the energy that is creating and re creating every milli second.
There is a distant sound of song, as if miles away.
Voices that sound like velvet feels
are floating past me.I linger before the songs.
I reach out.
I can touch them with my finger.
I can TOUCH the SONGS!
Suddenly,it seems that the SONGS are INSIDE ME!
The light is bright and deep and all wrapped up in the songs.
I see no one.
I feel only Ecstasy.I know of no other place.
I know nothing but the Love
And The Light.
I Will never Leave.
II Cor. 5:8…”to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.”
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What a beautiful place for all of you!!! nm
XX
He never was yours to let go in the first place. Make the
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If OP wants to be messy, get own place. But then
x
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