A few suggestions on beating depression.
Posted By: sm on 2008-12-19
In Reply to: I need help --- kinda long --- - anon
In the same boat gave good suggestions for the medical care part. I strongly urge you to consider an anti-depressant and/or an anti-anxiety medication. They are not addictive, do not turn you into a zombie and will help you tremendously in every arena, especially work. You could try OTC St John's wort. This did not help my depression (it seems to run in my family and I think mine is hereditary) but I have friends who say it has helped them. It is possible your depression is being aggravated by SAD (seasonal affective disorder).
Make sure you are getting plenty of sleep. If you have trouble with insomnia, another really good natural remedy for that is melatonin. You find it in the vitamin section of the drug store. It is inexpensive and is not habit-forming. There is no set dosage. They come in 1 mg and 3 mg tablets that can be split. Start with the 1 mg and increase by 0.5 mg until you reach your ideal without hangover effect in the a.m. 3 mg is what I typically take, but have taken as much as 4.5. Again, insomnia runs in my family and it is likely your dosage would be less.
Exercise helps with depression A LOT. This does not have to be strenuous or extreme. A 20 to 45 minute walk 3 times a week or more will do WONDERS for you. Biking is great also and in the summer, swimming.
Here's something else I strongly suggest. I know it's a hard one, because I am a mom too. Stop trying to take care of everybody else for the time being and put focus on helping yourself. Find things you enjoy doing that do not cost money and then DO THEM. This can be difficult at first. Take baby steps at first. Make a modest plan for a day off, wake up and PRETEND you are not depressed, then put one foot in front of the other. Read books, watch favorite TV shows, surf the net, window shop, light candles and incense and soak in a hot water tub with soothing bath salts, listen to music, pot plants using cuttings, cook a delicious meal, change your hairstyle, experiment with make-up and new clothing styles (go to stores and try them on), start a journal or do a little research on a new hobby. Sometimes even housework can be therapeutic. Whatever you do, be very kind to yourself and do not beat yourself up if you don't get as much done as you would like. The road back takes time and practice.
Get proactive about your job. Look for work at home with a company with insurance. Make up your mind that you are going to kick this depression, not the other way around.
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Stop beating yourself up....
I have been following since your first post. You asked for opinions, which you got, and you also got a lot more. I wish mothers were more supportive of each other. We truely have the hardest job in the world and I think we have all made choices that we have second guessed or I know other mothers would not have made.
When I was 13 (I am now 40) and in junior high I was "paddeled" while wearing a cheerleading skirt. I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and was gathered up with several other students (who really weren't doing anything wrong) and we were all paddeled. I said something to my parents about the fact that I had a couple of welts on my thighs and they told me that was my fault since I obviously did something wrong in order to get paddeled. I got an apology from the vice principal so evidentally my parents realized they needed to stand up for me. My parents now sing a totally different tune. I have wonderful parents (father and step-moter)now, they just made some, in my opinion, wrong decisions when I was younger. They now talk about how they wish they had parented me differently. I am not saying you made the wrong decision...we don't have paddeling in our school system so I don't know whatI would do. Now just move on, it is over with, can't change it, and I can honestly say the paddeling had no lasting affect on me.
spanking, not beating.
Teens this day and age have no fear, of anything, it seems. Back in my days of growing up, just the thought of my parents finding out I did something I wasn't suppose to, was enough for me to keep myself in line.
And NO, we were never beaten, but did get a few pats with the belt, which were far and few inbetween.
getting the belt is beating - check with your
controversial: friend beating his child with a stick
I already know what I must do. I know I'm going to have to call CPS. Here's the thing: Dan and I both drop off our boys (8 years old) at school every morning. Sometimes after school he and I and the boys go to a local diner for coffee and cocoa. We've been those drop the kids off kind of friends, both single, but nothing more. (We could never get along because our parenting styles vary so differently.) He is VERY strict with his son. I raise my child with love and respect. His child lies and steals, mine does not.
This morning, after the kids were inside, he stated to me: "Tonight he gets the stick. I told him to choose between losing hockey or the stick, and he chose the stick." Apparently, the child does not move quickly enough in the morning and the reason they are often late is because he tricks his father, like turning on the water and pretending to brush his teeth, then climbing back in bed. (Which was today's offense.) I have made it very clear to him he is way too strict, that the outcome will not be as he expects. "That's the way I was raised," he states.
I don't know his address. I do know the address of the school. So, apparently, what I have to do is tell him that I will be calling CPS and reporting him, which might be the only obvious way to avoid this evenings' "stick." Sure, I guess this will cost me our friendship, but the child's safety is the only thing involved. However, the child's mother is even worse than the father. He obtained her as a mail-order bride, they are now divorced, she is on her fifth American husband, and is even more abusive to the child. Have I already answered my own question?
IMO definitely depression
I think people get freaked when you say depression because they think of Grapes of Wrath or what our grandparents talk about what they went through. They say "Oh that'll never happen here" - "Gas at $3.00 your nuts, that'll never happen to us". I think that as long as they don't cancel American Idol people don't care. I talk to siblings they have no idea of what's going on in the economy but they know the statistics of all American Idols or Survivors. It's sad. I definitely see a depression coming. First, gas prices are soaring. People can't afford it. If they can't afford it they can't get themselves to work, or they work OT just to pay for gas to get to work (when OT is available). Food prices rising. Reports of food shortages in areas, jobs being shipped overseas. Then the wierd weather patterns I also believe somehow affect the economy. To me I see a major depression hitting us. Also I do read a lot of websites (the kind that my family thinks I'm into conspiracies - that is until they start hearing the same news I'm telling them about, they just hear about it months later and pretend I never told them anything).
depression?
Okay so they say, finally, that we are in a recession. I am thinking that we may be going into another Great Depression. Call me doom and gloom but come on now, look at life. So, my question is to those of you who stock up on stuff. What do you stock up on and how do u do it? I mean, do you go out one day when you grocery shop and just spend a fortune on extra stuff or do you spread it out. Also, those of you that mentioned being stocked up, obvious it limits grocery trips and probably saves some money here and there but if we face a depression, do you think that there will be a huge shortage of food in our grocery stores?
depression
Ladies, help me out. What physical conditions can cause depression or mood swings? For the past few months I have been experiencing bouts of depression that seem to come out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. Within the span of 5 minutes I go from feeling normal and content to feeling like life is completely meaningless and hopeless. This is completely out character for me. I have always had a positive outlook, very even-tempered, and don't even get emotional around my period. The year 2008 was one of the most stressful years of my life and there is still a lot of stress going on so I realize it could indeed be that I have reached my emotional limit, but if there could be a physical cause, I am willing to entertain that as well. Thanks for any insight.
Do you think he could be going through depression maybe? sm
Depression is an illness and it can definitely make you lose motivation or desire for anything. Just a thought.
I wonder if he has depression & if
depression meds would help pull him out of his funk so he could be at least motivated enough to get out & work? I fight depression & don't feel like working, but of course I do it because I have to support myself, but maybe he has a greater degree of depression?
On the other hand, I had a relative like this, and as long as anyone would hand him money, he wouldn't do anything to help himself. When people would cut him off, he'd work a while... My husband & I decided after a while of that that we would feed him when he came over to eat because we always have leftovers anyway, that we would quit handing him money but would never let him go hungry & he was welcome to eat with us anytime he wanted, but that would be the extent of it.
If he already owns a dump truck, he should be able to at least do a job here & there & get by though. I know men who would love to own their own dump truck!
There's no easy answer & I feel for you.
Depression after surgery
My Daddy went through the same thing after he had heart surgery. He would not go to a psychiatrist or counselor. We spoke with his primary care physician who put him on Paxil which helped tremendously. Ask your PCP or cardiologist if it would be possible to start him on an antidepressant to see if that may make a diffence.
Good luck and take care.
I don't think the depression meds --sm
should be taken in conjunction with pot. Anger and anxiety issues were already present prior to father's death. He may be grieving on some level, as his own psyche will allow, but sounds more like an excuse to me. I have lived with these types in the past. His lack of ambition is probably due to the pot, as well. Thinking of the child, I feel that separation from the source of this frustration would be the best thing for the boy. Counseling rarely works for the spouse, but it would probably benefit you. Go with your gut reaction on this as to what is best. You live with the man, and you know more about him than what you can post here. Trust your instincts. Good luck to you.
Could you be suffering from a depression?
Maybe go to your doctor and ask for an exam regarding your symptoms of being tired and wanting to always eat. Those are signs of depression. Are you on an antidepressant? They certainly have helped me.
Jan
Even postpartum depression.
I had a friend who was not even the same person after she had her second child. She was afraid to go out in public and would field all her calls through her husband and had never done anything like that before. We tried to go out together one day and she made me turn around and take her back home.
It turned out she had postpartum depression and after some time, therapy, understanding friends and short-term medication, she was fine.
Of course, the added stress of the baby's physical problems could easily account for a reason for the depression.
People have told me that one of the best things they appreciate from a friend is a sincere card or letter expressing empathy and concern. They like being able to read the sentiments again whenever they are down. Just a word of caution, always re-read such a letter before sending it to make sure there is no hint of something that could be taken the wrong way.
Recession/depression
I think we are at a "stuck" point, where it could shoot up or fall down into a rescession. I hope to God, it shoots up. I heard gas isn't coming down til after the first of the year (2009)
recession/depression
I think Michigan is already in a recession. It is just sickening to see all the homes that have been foreclosed. Everytime you watch the news or read a paper it is just more people losing their jobs. I don't know how much more people here can take. Hopefully things pick up soon!
PPMD/depression
I have depression. Right before my time, I get terrible. I am taking sertraline (Zoloft) right now all the time. While I was asking my Dr. about this medication she mentioned to me that some woman only take it for PPMD and/or up the dose during that time. I am actually considering going back to her and asking about this because during my time I get irritable and sad still.  I hear ya!!
Best Description of a Depression
I really think the movie "Cinderella Man" gives a good and accurate portrayal of the Great Depression.
depression era music
jazz age
http://dismuke.org/radio/
It sounds like you might have depression.
Maybe you could see a doctor? Talk therapy could help, especially if you work at home and don't get a chance to talk to *adults* much.
If you can't/don't want to see a doc (and you think it could be depression), you could try a supplement called SAMe (can get it at Target). Do some research about it on Google. It has helped some people. It's not too expensive and supposedly it starts working fast so you'd know if it were going to work for you before you spent too much.
With depression you lose either way -- sm
depression pretty much kills sex drive, but so do antidepressants. Still, I prefer to be on the meds.
Anxiety and depression are two different diagnoses
Sometimes they co-exist, sometimes they don't, sometimes long-term suffering of one will create the other. Some are situational, some are chemical. Family docs now spooning out SSRIs like candy have blurred them into a generic diagnosis with a generic fix, IMO.
While I totally agree re. depression...nm
to poster above who has done a fine job and counsels others on getting money into the bank, the stark reality is that no matter how much $$ one has in the bank, when depression hits - and it will - all that money isn't going to amount to a hill of beans that was covered by the floods in the upper states. The dollar bill has little value now, so when the depression hits none of it will be worth anything. Best stockpile on canned and paper goods (TP will be at a premium, I'm told by financiers) now with that $$ in the bank 'cause that's all you are going to have!
Only if you've never suffered from depression and
Walk a mile or two in my shoes before you go judging me, or anyone else who's been helped by antidepressants.
Can you get him to the PCP? They can handle this type of depression most times -nm
:-)
Our stories are very, very similar. Due to my severe depression sm
something horrible happened which I cannot speak of here. It is the main reason I found God, so you and I are alike in that matter.
As for God rescuing you like that - that is amazing. I guess we can just agree to disagree on this one. He saved you by showing you meds and saying it's okay to take them, and He healed me from my ailment without meds. Who is to say one is better than the other? That is why the saying goes that God works in mysterious ways!
I am happy for you! Continue to do what you are doing. I am not judging you. I only spoke to NCMT through my own experiences. We all have our own experiences.
either postpartum depression or embarrassed/guilt
I have known people to withdraw due to feeling like people are going to make fun of their child, blaming themselves or postpartum depression. Is this their first child? Could be that she is just simply overwhelmed. What does her mother-in-law/mother think? Is she also pulling away from them?
Just let her know that you are there for her even if that means sending her a card.
POLL: Are we headed for a recession/depression?
Do you think we are headed there or already there. Some people have told me they think it is going to get really bad like during the great depression. opinions?
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
Depression/Menopause/Decreased Sex Drive
I was wondering if any has any suggestions for increasing a woman's sex drive. I have been on Wellbutrin and trazodone for years and now I am going through menopause on hormone replacement. (I am 47 and had an ovary removed last year which caused me to go into menopause.) The last few years my sex drive has decreased to almost nil. Any suggestions/information would be much appreciated.
Anybody's hubby went through Open Heart Surgery and can't get out of depression?
I seem to be having a big problem with mine. He wasn't too bad after surgery, but since then, there have been a lot of house problems. i.e., water , septic system problems, roof leaking, my car not passing inspection so down to 1 vehicle, etc., etc.
He feels he cannot handle it anymore. He'll sit in our garage for hours on end doing nothing, but knowing he should be doing something. Yet, everything he does lately, does not solve a problem and he winds up doing something else for the same problem. It never bothered him before except ot get him mad he didn't do it right the first time (does anybody understand what I'm saying here?). He's feeling very "old" and incompetent but nothing I do or say is getting him out of this depression.
I'm afraid for him but don't tell me to make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist...he would never go. He's losing interest in eating, too, and even fixing his favorite foods depresses him because he thinks it's not made the same.
Anybody have any suggestions? I don't know what else to do lately. Thanks fo the help.
Haven't you heard? We're in a recession and/or depression?
so, why would there be a raise in benefits if there is no inflation?
The risk of suicide is greater in people with depression anyway sm
I personally have suffered from depression for most of my life, and the only time I feel "normal" is when I am on some kind of antidepressant. It takes time and a patient understanding doctor to work with you until you are on the right one at the right dosage, but I strongly feel that it is irresponsible and dangerous to tell someone not to take an antidepressant if they need it. You don't go telling diabetics that they shouldn't take insulin because people taking it are more likely to have high blood sugar do you? Makes about as much sense to me
Regular exercise helps, too, but watch for depression if you're
s
Many meds for depression and mental retardation make people very SM
heavy. My friend has gained probably 75 pounds or more since being on some of the meds. Don't know quite why they contribute to weight loss, but one commercial some years ago said that it does something to the part of the brain that senses when you are full. . . . .
..:) Depression glass, cut crystal, candle sticks, figurines. Strings of twinkie lights
s
More suggestions
My daughter had a better suggestion. She said rent the movie Honey and there is another couple where the ballet dancers learn hip hop ( Sorry I can't remember the names) but my daughter said if she really wants to make the team she needs to be modern and hip hop is all the rage.
Good luck email if I can help at all.
Any suggestions for ....sm
an ingrown toenail? I think my 15-year-old son has one. I remember my grandmother saying to cut a V in the center of the top of the nail so that it would more or less have room to grow back out, but he keeps his nails so short, I can't do that at this point. I also remember having one when I was pregnant and going to the doctor and he didn't do anything for it.
Thanks again for all the suggestions
Again, thanks so much for all the suggestions, now at least have some idea of what to do.
need suggestions
In the past 6 months, my sister-in-law's dog has killed TWO of our cats.
She never married, doesn't have kids. Her dogs ARE her children and she brings them everywhere. They are not small dogs either. One is a chow and the other is a mutt.
She brings her dogs up to the in-laws every morning so my MIL can "babysit" while she goes to work. Her dogs run around, come into our yard, stalk our cats, and attack. Our dogs, if they are outside, will protect the cats but they aren't always outside.
She has been told that her dog has killed two of our cats and her only response is, OMG! I'm so sorry. That's it. Nothing else.
I love her to death but she is totally irresponsible when it comes to her dogs and even more lacking in compassion when told that her dogs killed two of her nieces cats. What the?
How would you handle this? I don't want to cause any kind of friction because we all live so close and it is my husband's only sister.
Just really tired of losing our kitties.
Thank you for the suggestions
If this rash ever recurs (God forbid) we will have to do some allergy testing. At the moment, I think there is a strong possibility that it is related to the trees we bought (see post below). Both of them were dripping from the holes in the bottom of the pot and I think there must have been some kind of fertilizer or something which got on his skin. Or possibly there was some kind of insect on the trees which got on him, because he has had new bumps appearing up to about three or four days ago. But he has several large areas on his chest which are just solid rash (he didn't even let me see that until last night because he knew I would freak out).
Tide detergent is a thought, too - he had been complaining of itching around his waist so he started washing all his underwear and T-shirts (undershirts) in Woolite. I use Tide Free but maybe I should change to something gentler.
Thanks again!  We will definitely try your home allergy test if this doesn't clear up or if it recurs.
Suggestions for ham
I have a spiral sliced ham to bake and in the past, they always ended up kind of dry. Can someone tell me how to bake it and keep it moist, someone suggested pouring ginger ale on it while baking but looking for more suggestions. Thanks in advance.
suggestions
I love the name Kierna.
Thank you for the suggestions. I think
I will try the vinegar and water and maybe a bit of baking soda and keep my fingers crossed. I have tried Febreez in the beginning but urine too strong and it didnt help at all even after enzyme cleaner. Thank you for all the suggestions. I do appreciate it sooooo much.
Thanks much for your suggestions. Appreciate it!
.
Thank you so much fo the suggestions sm
I am pretty sure that they were both definitely females. Males are darker in color and also have or will eventually have orange cheeks and after 3 years mine never did. There was no trauma to the bird. I had fed them (from the same bag of food for a week)just about 30 to 45 minutes earlier. They were doing fine. The other is still thriving today and is still eating the food. I have washed the cage already and cleaned everything. Poor Roxy, she has really put up with a lot in the last 18 hours. My hubby and son are going out to Harrisonburg this weekend and is going to check on another bird for me. I do like the idea of a mirror and can pick one up tonight. Again, thanks for the suggestions. Roxy and I both appreciate them.
I appreciate all your suggestions
Found out today my children's half-brother's b-day party is also on Saturday and so she will be going to that instead. She called her friend and told her she was sorry she won't be there because of her brother's b-day party. We are making plans to take her out for dinner (her choice) next Friday.
I do realize what some of you were saying regarding the different ways to get head lice and in all reality she could bring it to our home too. My daughter has very thick hair and had head lice a couple of years ago and it was a total nightmare!! I just attempt to prevent that happening again. I do feel for this girl. I really do. She is so sweet and has been such a good friend to my daughter and my daughter thinks a lot of her.
If she is invited to her house again, I do think I will take the opportunity to go visit with her mother. Maybe there is something I can do to help her. In all reality though, how do you hint around to someone about their poor hygiene and dirty house without being offensive? I'll be praying about this.
Thank you all for your suggestions! I very much appreciate it.
Thanks to everyone for their suggestions
I used to use Crest - I don't know why I switched. 
And I tried Tom's years and years ago. I liked it but my husband didn't. We each have our own toothpaste now, so I might give it a try again.
Thanks!
suggestions
Honestly, this is a man thing how they go off into dream land. You either have to deal with it or move on who does it less. I think most woman can agree men go off to dream land unless it is something they are interested in.
Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. SM
Acutally, I have known this person since I am two years old because out mothers worked together. She is a dear person, but I really don't see her much anymore, partly because of the smoking issue. She is totally addicted to tobacco, and her husband addicted to tobacco and alcohol. I don't like going to their house much because of it, and I told her so a few years ago. I go over rarely, stay for maybe 45 minutes and then go. She tries to be good about it, not smoking on most visits. However, I am so sensitive to the smoke and the house is so saturated with it that my eyes burn and my clothes and hair smell of it anyway. As in my previous note, her entire family has addiction problems with tobacco and alcohol. Her mother, rest her soul (one of the sweetest people on earth) used to smoke so heavily that I watched her putting one out and reaching for another at the same time.
Anyway, I'm taking the long road again. . . gotta get to the point. The party is at a fire hall and I am thinking if there was a no smoking rule this family would never have taken the place to begin with. Everyone but two people that I know of in that family smokes heavily. Her sister and husband do not, but all her nieces, nephews, siblings, their kids, etc. do. I don't want to sound high and mighty, but I resent being exposed to something that is so harmful and something I am so totally against. This is a tough one. I think all the suggestions were good. I have until Saturday to follow through. Thanks, everyone! 
Thank you all for your suggestions (sm)
I have looked these up and sent the info to them. Thank you!!
thanks for all the suggestions!
I have some good lunches coming up!
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