A different approach
Posted By: ermt on 2008-09-02
In Reply to: What is your opinion of this? - (husband and wife disagreement)
This is what I would do and why.
First I can see all the posters points of view and if I was my mother I would probably be mad and argue. However, I have learned over time that arguments like this sometime (and I say sometimes) are not worth it. My mom and her husband would fight and fight and fight just so one could say they won. Sometimes something like this is best to just let go (wears much easier on the nerves). However, with that if it was me I would sit down with my husband and explain to him that I was upset because I didn't realize he was going to keep $10 to put money in his car, and thought we were sharing the costs to fill up the car we were in. Then I'd be "more of a man than he is" and give him a kiss and a hug. I would also then suggest maybe an alternative way of getting gas and that would be to fill both cars up whenever they get to 1/4 tank and go half & half on whatever the cost. My dad told me you get more gas for your money if you fill it up rather than little amounts here and there.
So, that is what I would do.
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Maybe try this approach...
Use it with him! Tell him to meet you in the bedroom in 5 minutes. Warm up with the toy and then let him join in. If you can prove it is no threat at all to him he may be more accepting and encourage you to use it? Good luck! :-)
Don't lie..different approach
So what if you die tomorrow? Your 6-year-old will not believe anyone again.
What are you going to tell him when grandparents pass on? Might try a Christian book store and see what they have to explain death, heaven to a child.
I like POSITIVE ideas. For instance suicide. I ask the young people "aren't we all God's children? Doesn't God love all his children? You are not supposed to rush into God's presence but HE knows when you are coming and he loves everybody!
If you happen to fall over dead tomorrow, who have you asked to take care of your son? This could give your son reassurance that he will not be alone.
I lost my son on his 22nd birthday to leukemia. I cannot think of anything else but that I WILL see him in heaven. My 16-year-old surprised me when he said that my son will spend his birthday in heaven!
The "free" advice that I want to give you is keep it up beat, positive, loving (not to the extent that suicide is an option), good thoughts. You don't have to accept every idea a church gives you either. Form your own good opinions and ideas! Pass them on to your son!
Good Luck!
LOL, that's one approach I haven't tried yet, but I like it.nm
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I would not approach her family
I think you would be better off going through the school. Maybe the family is odd! You don't need to create problems with the parents.
I, for sure, would speak to someone at the school though.
If U do apply for job, approach that facility and U
x
Your approach works wonderfully in theory...
but in reality, this rarely works. I have been an RN for 13 years now, doing MT on the side. I do not look at this from a one-sided MT point of view, but rather from a mother's point of view.
As a nurse, you must know that even when you try to educate your patients as kindly and nonconfrontationally as possible, when you start to point out to them things they may be doing wrong (such as not taking meds consistently or correctly, continuing to smoke when they have emphysema or COPD, eat tons of salt on a low-salt diet, etc.), IMMEDIATELY a wall goes up and the mentality is "How dare you try to educate me on MY life and point out my shortcomings".
Public health nursing is even trickier. From experience, even being as kind and non judgmental as you can possibly be, 99% of the time, this mother does not want to be aware that other people know about her problem. Most of the time, they think "OK, if I just ignore it, it will go away eventually". If others come to them and say, "Look, I know you have a problem, let me help you with it", they only get more embarassed knowing that now everyone at their kids school knows that they are not getting rid of it, and she will likely tell you exactly where to go.
I agree with what you are saying, that we should try to help each other out more. I am not being judgmental, but I guess after 13 years of this, I see the way things are and not the way we wish them to be!
I don't know of any nurse that will make a home visit. In fact, our county is getting rid of school nurses starting next year. They will have 2 nurses rotating throughout 24 elementary schools in the county, none in high school or middle schools.
From experience, the Health Department is usually the only entity that can do anything about this. They can come in and give the mom some education, determine why the child can't get rid of them, etc. For some reason, most people will accept that kind of help from the Health Department before they would a concerned parent from their kids school. Maybe they feel like nobody knows if the Health Department comes, but everybody knows if another parent comes over?
You seem to have a very positive outlook on things. Good luck in your schooling.
Never a good idea to approach wildlife - sm
Even deer. One strike with a well placed hoof and you are done.
We live in the sticks. Waaay out in the sticks. We have coyotes, racoons, tons of deer, and the occasional bear and cougar roaming around.
Coyotes have come down and attacked our dogs in broad daylight right in front of the house and the racoons tear into the garbage cans.
Had a bear tear down our gate to the pasture trying to get to our horses one year. The gate post was 8 feet long, buried 4 feet down and anchored in concrete. The bear pushed it over like it was nothing. Thankfully it ran off when I fired a shot in the air.
The game department took one look at the picture I took of a problem racoon we had tipping our garbage cans and said, "Sorry, we don't have any traps big enough for that old man." He was HUGE! I have never seen a racoon that big in my life. I thought it was a big dog until I put the spotlight on it.
Wildlife is nice.... at a distance.
Giving away kittens. Need advice on best approach.
I have four 9 week-old kittens that need a home. I found a good new home for 2 of them. Anyway, I have told the girls, ages 7 and 3, from the start that those kittens will need to be given away. However, they have both become very attached to the kittens. Anyway, the people are asking for them and is wondering when the best time to come get them. I don't know if it would be better for them got get the kittens when the girls are here or when they are at school. They are already getting under our cars and I am afraid they are going to get ran over. They can eat solid food and drink water. I still see mama cat nurse them though not as much as she used to. Any tips would be helpful.
try a gentler approach with them, try watching the kid, even puppy sit, it may make things better
nm
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