2 sides to the story

First of all I think there's another option that neither you or your sister are seeing, home health aide. Look into it re: insurance etc. I can see where both of you are coming from. I don't know your sister's financial situation or how far she has to drive to see your father. I think that she probably feels she is working hard to earn her paid time off but if she has to use it all to take "everybody" to the doctor what will happen if she needs to go to the doctor herself or wants to take time off for a vacation or mental health day. You have to admit she has a point.

My advice would be not to alienate your sister. You are going to have to work together to take care of your father. I would arrange a time for both of you to sit with your father and lay out the facts. With little to no eyesight, he simply cannot live completely independently any longer. If he wants to stay at home then either hire a home health aide or a live-in caregiver or one of you would have to move in with him. Avoid the word nursing home and instead suggest an independent living facility where there is assistance with daily activities such as preparing meals. Be open and honest with each other. You have your own separate lives and not only do you not want your father to feel like he is a burden, you also do not want to feel burdened. With the cost of gas these days, your sister certainly has a valid point. As far as her popping to Wal-Mart and the mall, she could have perfectly viable reasons for going to Wal-Mart including grocery shopping or perhaps purchasing your father's medications there on their $4 plan. The mall may be her escape mechanism.

You both sound stressed out over this situation and you both need to take care of yourselves first and foremost before you can be expected to care for someone else. Good luck to both of you and remember that you both love each other and your father and only want the best for everyone.

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I have 3 boys. My oldest son is very giving and caring (sounds like your daughter). He's been bullied a few times. Different responses apply to each individual bully. Some bullies can be dealt with best by the school or their parents. These are usually the kids who come from good homes and their parents don't always know what happens when they're not around. I generally deal with the parents if they're level-headed. If not, I go straight to the school.

Other bullies come from parents who don't give a darn what they do. These kids are the hardest to deal with. I have had to face these bullies myself. I flat out told them if they continue to pick on my son or bully him, I will call the police and they will be dealt with as a juvenile deliquent. This seemed to stop things pretty quick. I also followed that up with the letting school know what was going on because I had a feeling the child might pick on my son when I'm not there. The school was great about this and were well aware of this bully's behavior. It alerted them to keep a closer watch on my son at recess when this kid was around.

The other side of the fence is my 7-year-old son. I had gotten a call from his teacher early in the school year that he was bullying a couple of smaller kids. My son had a late birthday, so I held him for kindergarten, making him a year older than most of his peers. There didn't seem to be any problem in kindergarten, but by first grade, he realized that he was bigger than most and could use this to his advantage. From that first call I got from his teacher, I made it very clear to him that I would not tolerate bullying from him. I also told him the school would be watching him and if I hear any reports of him bullying others, I would punish him at home as well. Other than a few minor kid things, he's been pretty great. I even explained to him that because he was bigger than the little kids, he needed to protect them and watch over them like a big brother. He's come home a couple of times and told me how some older kids were picking on his friends and he stepped up and told them to knock it off. I was very proud of him and needless to say, he has a lot of "girlfriends" now.

My point here is that not all parents know what their kids are like outside of the home. It's very possible this girl's mother had no idea. Unfortunately, she was already hurt and angry when you talked to her and it probably didn't help things. I would suggest sticking with the teacher from now on with this one, and in the future, bring any problems immediately to the teacher's attention or the parents (depending on their temperament and how well you know them). Most importantly, I have also taught my children to stand up for themselves, use a firm voice, but walk away if it's just words and we'll deal with it together. The only time I allow my children to hit is if they're being physically hit and the other child won't stop. Our school has a zero tolerance for fighting, and it just wouldn't be worth getting expelled otherwise.

Hang in there. She's only 8 -- the really bullying starts in the teen years (I'm remembering mine), not being popular enough or having money or wearing cool clothes or being too smart or not thin enough. It goes on and on. In that case, I'm glad I have boys. They get less catty as they get older (I hope).

He has been bullied before but he has gotten really good at standing up for himself. I literally have given him comebacks that he can use if he is being verbally bullied, and have told him that while he is never allowed to start a fight he is always allowed to defend himself and even though he may get in trouble at school, he will not be in trouble at home.

One time last year (fifth grade) he was verbally bullying a boy in his class. He said some pretty mean things. I got the phone number to the boy's house through a mutual friend, called, and then too my son to the boy's house to apologize in person, in front of the boy's parents. We talked for a long time beforehand about how the boy must feel to have to go to school and have someone say things like that to him, role-playing such as "how would you feel if that was you" sort of thing. He also lost computer priveleges for a week. He has never bullied anyone else.

However, he did kick a boy in the shin earlier this year when the boy hit him and said he was going to beat him up. My son is strong but doesn't like to fight. I think all kids should be able defend themselves if needed though.

sore because my jaw clamps down on my tongue and sores on my cheeks from biting them. I would also have an aching jaw for weeks at a time that required mountains of Motrin and muscle relaxers. I finally went to the dentist and now have an acrylic mouthguard I wear at night. I hated it at first, but boy does my jaw feel better. No more aching, no more trouble chewing, no more sores on my cheeks and tongue! Cost me $300 for the mouthguard cause my insurance wouldn't pay, but it was worth every penny!

For the most part, she blames her actions on stress from her illness. I can (somewhat) see someone stealing to pay bills or to put money aside for savings, but not for a lavish wedding or cruises.

GOFFSTOWN, N.H. -- A woman accused of stealing more than $1 million from her nonprofit employer said she used the money to pay for medical bills, vacations and her daughter's wedding.

"My daughter was getting married; I wanted her to have a nice wedding," said Linda Bevins, who has colon and lung cancer. "I had nothing, it all went to cancer. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to have a good life. I wanted my husband to have peace of mind."

Bevins was fired in June from her job as a payroll supervisor for the Crotched Mountain Foundation, which runs a disabilities rehabilitation center in Greenfield. She, her husband, and daughter now are being sued by the foundation. A criminal investigation is also going on.

Bevins was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1999 and took a job as a payroll specialist with Crotched Mountain in 2001 to help pay her medical bills; she was promoted to supervisor a year later. She told the New Hampshire Sunday News she began taking money in 2004 after doctors told her the cancer had spread to her liver, and the prognosis was not good.

Bevins said she's not certain how much money she took, but doesn't dispute Crotched Mountain's estimate of $1.3 million. She said at least $200,000 went to medical bills for her cancer treatments and another chunk paid for her daughter's wedding, which included a custom-made wedding dress. Bevins said she also took her family on two cruises and used stolen money to make donations to churches and other organizations.

"It bothered me a lot because I was not the type of person to do that," Bevins said of the thefts. "I would get depressed that this was happening and I'd say 'I can't do this anymore.' But then something else would happen and all of a sudden I'm doing it."

An audit commissioned by Crotched Mountain revealed allegations that Bevins issued payroll checks to her daughter, Holly Sears, and herself, and funneled foundation money into personal bank accounts. Bevins said biannual company audits didn't catch her scheme, nor did a co-worker who helped her with the payroll.

Neither her daughter nor husband knew anything about the thefts, though she acknowledged that sometimes she asked Sears, 26, to cash checks for her, Bevins said.

Bevins said she's ashamed of what she's done, but blames at least part of her actions on her former employer.

As the only employee who could handle the payroll, Bevins said she was constantly on call, even while on vacation or sick leave. She said Crotched Mountain workers even called her cell phone while she was in the hospital, and nurses became so fed up by the they asked a doctor to put a stop to it.

"If I didn't have the stress, maybe I wouldn't have gotten sick and wouldn't have had the bills and maybe (the stealing) wouldn't have ever started," she said.

Mom dying, dad with Alzheimer's, so I'm taking care of both, though my dad was still independent in ADLs. I worked at home so I didn't really work and I was supposed to take everyone to the doctor. My sister had 3 days off, the same time as my son's/husband's birthdays. She said she would come help one day, but that needed time for herself. I'm the one with young kids, I'm the one trying to maintain 2 households and work full-time ....... I finally moved in with my parents, gave up any privacy, spent 98% of my waking time when not working taking care of someone or something. I don't regret it and I would do most of it all over again because I'm a caretaker, but if there are 4 other siblings why should I have to carry the burden. After my mom died I fell apart. I had to put my dad in a facility and my sister said she would take over primary caregiver duties, but she was hit or miss. Her kids were grown and out of the house, her DH was always off playing golf. She complained that my dad was only getting 2 showers a week, but she wasn't willing to go give him a shower. She complained about using all her vacation time for doctor's visits - like I didn't have to either take vacation or make up my time. I could go on and on. They told us in grief counseling that in most families there is one that always ends up doing everything.

The only thing I can say is that when your dad is gone you can seek comfort in knowing that you did all you could to help him, that you were there for him when it counted. Your sister will be the only who has to live with the guilt that she wasn't there (and she will suffer, must maybe not right away). At the same time I think your dad is just thinking about what he wants and I completely understand. My mother wanted to die at home in her own bed, not a hospital bed, even if she was still at home she didn't want a hospital bed, but I also think it puts a lot of stress on you and one day he will be gone and you'll have to pick up the pieces and continue on and there may be a day when you can no longer care for him at home.

I was very long-winded, but what I'm trying to say is don't worry about your sister. Focus on your dad and do what you can do and that is all you can do.

I have a sad story to tell. My husband's cousin's x-wife had an accident Friday night and was severely injured. She was coming from a night out and was drinking and wrecked. She was ejected from the vehicle and suffered severe head trauma. She was put on life support and was found to be brain dead. Her parents had to make the decision to pull the plug. The doctor assured them she had no brain activity and could not breath on her own or anything. So they unplugged her yesterday. This young woman was I think if not mistaken 29 years old. She had 3 children ages 8, 4, and 2. They have no mother now. She was so disfigured from the accident that her boyfriend went in ICU to see her and hit the floor as he passed out from the shock of seeing her face. She never dreamed when she left to go out last Friday night that she wouldn't be returning and she was leaving her kids for the last time to soon find they had no mother. I had the pleasure of knowing this woman for her brief time here on Earth. She will be so missed by her children and the rest of her family. The 8 year old boy is taking it by far the worst because he comprehends what death means and that he won't see his mommy anymore on this Earth. The 4-year-old just knows mommy is in heaven but can't comprehend that mommy can't come visit her from heaven. The 2-year-old just doesn't understand at all. She just misses her mommy. Brief story about what the 4-year-old said to her mawmaw yesterday: They were going down the road and she had learned earlier that day her mama was gone to heaven. She was staring out the window at the sky because she was told that was where mommy was. She was just desperately hoping for a glimpse of mom I guess. Then she said mawmaw that's my mom. And she pointed to the sun. It was shining really bright inside the car on them. It was a really sunny day. Her mawmaw says where baby? She said do you see the sun mawmaw? She said yes baby I see it. She said that's my mommy shining down on me. She is watching me mawmaw. This is from a 4-year-old. Now if that don't break your heart what does? Pray for these children who have suffered probably the greatest loss they will know. And please don't drink and drive.

my girlfriend's husband was put in jail for 5 years because he was a "victim" for receiving child pornography. Says he opened up an Email and it snowballed from there.

Of course it was all a lie. He had his own website out of the UK and was filming himself masterbating. I did some research and it was amazing that almost ALL men that are busted say the same thing --- they were innocent and all they did was open an Email! Hope he rots in jail.

CJ was playing with a stuffed hedgehog he found at my house. My niece showed him that it squeaked. As she continued to squeak it, he started to cry ... and then softly howl. I had to ask her to stop.

I have 2 teenagers and 1 in college. I get to work in peace most of the time. The biggest emergency I had this spring was when my daughter drove to school early for band practice and her younger brother, who doesn't drive yet, failed to arrange for alternate transportation and then also missed the bus, so I had to stop to drive him to school.