,,,use your support system, and find a lawyer who
Posted By: will work for you. God bless and good luck. nm on 2007-07-06
In Reply to: If you're asking and the love is long gone, it's time. Make copies of all important papers, - get all acct numbers/contact info, and use your su
s
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
You definitely need a strong support system sm
right now. If being closer to your family will help you trough this then that is what you should do. You will be a better mother to your children if you are able to handle this better. About the money, since your child will be in first grade that should cut down on the cost of preschool. I am sure there are wonderful other speech therapists out there. Listen to your heart and "Go Home" and be surrounded by people that love and care for you.
Find a lawyer, find out where you would stand - sm
in the event of a divorce/separation, regarding custody, house, etc. Custody was my main concern as well since I lied on numerous occasions about the finances. Where I am I was told that would not factor in to the custody at all. I can prove that I am my kids caregiver 90% of the time, I ferry they around everywhere, help with homework, get ready for school, meet at busstop, etc. I could also point out my husband is an alcoholic, self treats his depression with alcohol instead of getting proper medical treatment, has threatend to kill himself (or me) numerous times (though he always says he was joking and did not mean it.....that is his standard answer to everything, or that he never said that). Now I do love him enough to deal with all that because deep down inside my DH is full of it, luckily for me, he has never followed through on anything he says he is going to do. But I thought my confession would be the straw that broke it all and send him over the edge. He still is angry with me, I am sure he will be for a long time, but is keeping it together pretty well, though he has said the stress was going to kill him, now he know how I felt I guess. I am sorry your husband is such a smuck. I feel like a dog sometimes with the sex demands, have to do it the night before he goes out of town....he will be traveling a lot for work for the next 3-4 months, which I am more than glad about, much calmer here then, though it gets tiring for me but as he is not really helping much right now it really won't be much of a change. As for yours going on 5 day weekends.....have you considered having him followed, sounds like there may be some infidelity afoot, and if so that would strengthen your case in the event of a divorce and custody I would think. Sounds a bit fishy going out until 1 a.m. and his frequent trips. My DH fishes too, but he goes 2 miles from here with one of our male neighbors, they shoot the breeze and he gets to unwind some which I encourage. Very rare weekends with a buddy of his, I am talking once every 2 years, which again is fine with me. Start keeping track of all you do, when he is home, where he supposedly goes, with whom, etc. He cannot show he will be a responsible dad if he is never there or never interacts with his own kids. My DH would probably suggest I take our older daughter and he the younger, spliting them up, he has the same perception, the oldest is mine, the youngest is his. Our younger daughter is much easier to deal with, our older daughter drives him nuts and she is only 10. My younger one (8) knows something has been going one though, and worries we will divorce, which she does not want. She is very perceptive for her years. I hope that if you do go the divorce route, which would actually probably be best in your situation, that it all works out for you and you get your fair share of assets, etc. Make sure before you do anything like that you have all your ducks in a row, so talk to divorce lawyer. I talked to one for 45 minutes, cost me $160 but was worth it to set my mind at ease. Good luck.
Good luck but I doubt you will find a lawyer sm
First of all, I am glad that your sister knows the truth and is not dying. Unfortunately I know from experience what it is like for a loved one to be given a misdiagnosis death sentence. My father-in-law went in the hospital almost 2 years ago with trouble swallowing and ended up getting referred to an ENT that sent him over to a neurologist. He did an EMG/NCS on his tongue, said he had ALS, and to prepare within 6 months to make a decision on being on a ventilator or being DNR. He had to quit working early & be fed through a PEG for over a year, during which time I took him to a different neurologist, a specialist in motor neuron diseases, who said that EMGs performed on the tongue are unreliable and that he had no evidence of ALS at all. Basically what had happened is that his vocal cord was not working properly, and the ENT said it was paralyzed, which is was not. Because the first neurologist just assumed the ENT was correct, he made the diagnosis. I tried calling a few lawyers for the pain and suffering aspect, but unless you want to try through civil court, there is no malpractice involved because there was no permanent physical damage done. They're lucky he didn't follow through with the suicidal thoughts he was having when he was first told all of this bullcr@p.
She needs to find out more about the system, and just how lucky she is. She is a misgruntled sm
middle classed woman, resenting any hands up those below her get. She needs to count her blessings. If she is not eligible for food stamps, then she is way ahead of the game.
They think anybody who is on aid is abusing the system. They resent the system and the people sm
who receive any aid at all. that is very clear.
What's your lawyer doing
If you're separated, why aren't you and the kids in the family residence, or why isn't your ex forking over child support and alimony so you can afford your own place?
Check with welfare, Medicaid and children's services in your town to see what programs you're eligible for.
If its untenable to reside with your parents, go to a shelter until you resolve the money issues and then get your own place.
Save yourself. Light a fire under that lawyer and be more pro-active. Take charge, it you can't do it for yourself, find the strength to do it for your kid's future.
Might need to consider another lawyer
My BIL turned down for disability before, got another lawyer and it made all the difference in the world and he got his disability after being turned down before a judge. Is this lawyer strictly in the disability field or could you perhaps get a second opinion. It would not hurt to try.
I'm not a lawyer yet but...
If that bill really was first incurred in 1987 (!!!!!) there is no way on earth that it should be collectable from ANYBODY, let alone the minor child at the time!
That said, most states have a statute of limitations. Most states (you never said which state you're in, so I can't look up that state's regulations) start counting a statute of limitations from when the most recent payment was made on the account. So if your parents stopped making payments on the bill in 1999, then in a state with a 6-year statute of limitations (SOL), then legally the hospital or any secondary debt collectors cannot take legal action to collect the debt after 2005.
Now....
Not being able to take legal action to collect the debt does NOT mean that they can't try to weasel it out of you through guilt or intimidation. But they don't have a legal leg to stand on to enforce anything once the SOL has run out.
So...
They never should have gone after YOU no matter what.
And they never should have even had it in their records from 6 years after your parents last made a payment on it.
Like somebody else said - tell them to pound sand! LOL!
The lawyer and the money
Well, it seems kinda funny that shortly after her court case was settled her son died. Then, she had the committment ceremony with the sleazy lawyer. Now, a few months later she dies? Wonder who her beneficiary is. It could shed some light on the events surrounding her and her son's deaths. I wouldn't say it's all about the money, but it does seem suspicious. I still wouldn't be surprised if it winds up just being a drug overdose though.
Doctor says to lawyer
We were born on the same year, month, day, and minute. We were born in the same hospital, hospital room and we have the same 2 parents. We are not twins and we have no brothers. Explain this.
Which one? The lawyer or radio DJ..nm
x
I'd get a lawyer ASAP and have those
before he spends it all on the other woman or hides it offshore. No way would I let my half go with him and that other woman. I know this may sound a little harsh, but your mom needs to wake up and do something now before it's too late.
She told her lawyer...sm
That he wouldn't get out because he said he didn't have to until the divorce was final and she can't make him leave until then which is next week. The lawyer can and will make him get out. Her lawyer is very crude and ruthless. She hates to go through all of that though. She wants him to peacefully leave. When the divorce is final she could call the sheriff's dept. and they could make him leave but she really said this would hurt her so to have to do that. It is hard enough without all that.
Mama has told him go live with the other woman. I don't think the other woman wants him there. See she is just using him because daddy has it bad for her and she uses it to her advantage to get anything she wants from him. To tell you the extent, he had around $70,000 cash in the bank less than a year ago and it is gone. My mama has seen the other woman's mame signed where she goes to his bank and everything and is allowed to get cash out. So she is just using my daddy for money and he knows this but he has it so bad for her he lets her do it. He is now broke and has no more money or not much anyway. This woman has broke him but it is his own fault for letting her. He should be smarter than that. She doesn't want him living with her I don't think or he would. I don't know. But my mom says if you hadn't gave her all your money you would have money to find a place to live. She says not her problem. Which is true.
Talk to a lawyer first - sm
I had the exact situation listed here above, house in DH name, family 4 hours away, no money, etc. In my state, VA, it is a equiable distribution state, meaning they divide it fairly, it is not an automatic 50/50 they take in each persons contributions, etc. So in my case the house would have been 40% mine as he put down the 20% on the house from the sale of his house. Our debt would have probably held where it was about 55% mine versus 45% his, or actually I might have ended up with more as my name was listed as a user on one of his accounts and I did deceive him. In my case, I was hoping he would leave, go live with his brother in MD or rent the apt. next door (neighbor has a vacant apt. over garage, tenant just died), but he would not have done it willingly. Even now after we have worked through everything, he said the other day if I screwed it up again he was taking the kids to his parents, leaving me, and would burn the house down so I got nothing. Sweet. (then again he'd be in jail and I would have the kids and the insurance money if there was any--doubtful since it would be arson). Like I said it has not been all roses but it is going well for the most part. In my case I am glad it was not the end of my marriage though I thought it would be; I talked to a lawyer in anticipation , $160 for 45 mintues, but well worth it.
Yes, get a divorce lawyer - sm
I talked to one before I confessed to my DH about the debt he knew nothing about ($88K) figuring my marriage would be over. In the event of a divorce I would have walked away with no debt, no home, but enough leftover to either buy a house with a good downpayment, or rent and be able to afford it for quite a while. I know my DH would have tried to get the kids too but I don't think he would have "won" despite my deception about the debt. I do everything for my kids, he does nothing except make dinner a couple times a week and takes them to the movies or skating every 3-4 weeks, that is it. I never got so low as to open cards in his name, and I am thankful I never sunk to that level though it did cross my mind once or twice I knew it was horribly wrong. I suspect he just filled out them in your name, maybe even on line, and then transfered his debt to yours, possibly putting himself as a user on the account, but even w/o doing that he could still transfer his debt to "your card", I know, I would transfer debt off my husband's cards onto mine so his credit would stay pristine, and so he would not find out. I would inform the companies that you did not open the accounts, have a fraud investigation started. As for telling him about the debt, since you are already heading for divorce, I would not tell him a thing, let the lawyers figure it out. They will do a list of assets and debts and figure it all out in the settlement. He can find out then. Run a credit report on yourself and find out how many cards he opened up in your name, and call each one, or better yet talk to a lawyer first and see what they have to say on the matter. I know my mess was/is bad but very thankful my DH ended up to be forgiving enough or just too lazy to go thru another divorce (I am his 2nd wife), and/or did not want to put the kids thru that. But the sooner you get the ball rolling and start taking care of things the better you will feel, I know, I feel so much better now. You kids will be happier too. Do not stay for the kids or keeping a stable home, etc. If you are miserable, then they are too and it is a horrible example for them. In my case a miracle happened and things are better than they have been in a long time, but it sounds like your case is terminal. I wish you the best of luck.
She needs to talk to a lawyer before doing - sm
anything. Before I confessed to my DH about our debt back in Oct./Nov., cannot even remember when now, I talked to a lawyer as I wanted to know what my rights were and where I would stand in the event of a divorce. She was quite clear about not taking the kids out of the state. Once your friend has a custody agreement in place then maybe, obviously the lawyer and courthouse clerk could best advise her on that, but there are a lot of things that need to be done prior to that or he can call the cops, etc. He sounds like a primo A-hole. She needs to move fast before they lose their house though.
CPS does tell if lawyer gets involved. have had every detail given to me before sm
when they were called in me for my kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood streets like every kid in the neighborhood did. we hired lawyer, refused the one on one investigation at school with the kids, and had the "meeting" at the laywers office. never allowed them in our home, but our lawyer got every detail of the report, which was passed onto us. we had the date, the name of the person who called, their address, everything.
You can probably make-up a date to see a lawyer
because marriage is based on truth. Just tell him you are done! End of story. If he catches you in a lie, that could spell trouble. JMO. 
Time for a call to a lawyer.
x
Take this to a lawyer. Fight for him. This cannot be legal.
asf
I did talk to a lawyer too before I dropped - sm
the bomb on my DH as I wanted to know where I stood. I live in a state where they do an equitable disbursement of the marital goods, assets, etc. I would have a 40% stake in the house, entitled to about $100K in his 401K (1/2 of its growth since we married), 1/2 of assets we purchased together. Though a judge would deem what it fair, either way I would walk away debt-free though I would not have a home if we sold everything. He told me in one of his pissy moments that if we lose the house (which there is no danger of) he is moving in with his parents with the kids and I am on my own. What he does not realize that no judge would give him custody (has depression , threatened suicide, etc) and the kids would want to be with me. He has a temper too that gets the better of him too much and he is an alcoholic as well. So if a judge gave him custody I would be totally shocked. I am relatively healthy though overweight by 70 pounds, drink a glass of wine 5 days a week maybe (that is it--he drinks 9-12 beers a day --every day--- though he has cut down to 9 since the 13th for which I am happy for though I'd rather he quit altogether---But good thing to find out where you would stand in a divorce and what you would need to do in terms of custody if push came to shove.
probably call a lawyer dont you think?
Maybe she could see a counselor herself and see if they could help her to make the decision or at least scoot her in the right direction about what she needs to do or who to talk to.
That's too bad of a situation... wish her the best
Go talk to a lawyer pronto - sm
I did this before I confessed to my DH about our debt issues back in October as our house is in his name only as is the mortgage, and wanted to know where I stood with my "share" of our assets. If it was bought after you married, as ours was, then it is maritial property. The division is not 50/50 unless you both contributed equally to the downpayment, in my case he used the money from the sale of our (his) former house that he had before we married. So my share would be something like 40%. Our two cars are in both our names, except our boat and utility trailer, those are his which is just fine with me. I also have no money, but he (we) has a very nice 401K (still by some miracle), of which I would be entitled 50% of the earnings in the time period of our marriage. But basically regardless of whose name is on what it is maritial property as long as you lived in it together and you contributed to the household in some way whether it is paying all the bills, or some, or staying home to take care of the kids, it is a contribution. They figure out all the percentages, etc. I would not leave the home though, he will say you left the marriage, etc. Call around, see if you can get a free consult or a discounted consult. I think I paid $160 for my 45 minute phone call but I felt much better for doing so. Luckily I did not end up needing the lawyer, but I was ready to do so if necessary. Good Luck.
Wii system sm
I am so happy. Live in NE. My DIL inquired of a small local game store in a small mall when they would be in, they told her Tues. and to be there when they opened. She appeared and no one else was there, called me and said she was leaving as the shipment had not arrived and she waited alone for an hour. I told her to shop around in the little mall and keep looking for the brown UPS truck. She did and when the truck appeared at the small game store, she went over and acquired 1 of only 3 shipped. Another lady showed up, called her sister and they got the only 3 that the company shipped. This is how they are getting people, they' re limiting the shipments. At least this little store told her what day they come in, although only 3 arrived.
I asked at a Target down the street when Wii's would be in and they were very rude, "We get them, when we get them, don't know, Maa'm, you just have to keep coming in."
Motto of my story: Smaller is better. So happy, perhaps you can try the smaller game shops who will tell you when they're coming in. Since so many are looking, thought I would share our success story. The kids will have the Wii as well as the guitar that goes with it, thanks to the little guy store. I know Christmas is not only about the gifts, but I'm happy we got something the kids really wanted this year as they both take guitar lessons. Happy MIL
the system
In my opinion, I would not bother talking to any doctors or the school. The very, very last thing your son needs is for you to think something is wrong with him enough to drug him, maybe even for life.
There is one other resource:
Goertzel, V., Goertzel, M.G., Goertzel, T.G. & Hansen, A.M.W. (2004). Cradles of eminence: Childhoods of more than seven hundred famous men and women, 2nd edition. Scottsdale: Great Potential Press.
Based on this book of extraordinary and brilliant people, a happy childhood and a good mom don't make you successful. It is just the opposite. Look at any president, including the current one...not a happy childhood, but there they are busting their butts. We want our kids to bust their butts too, but it does not seem to work that way.
Read the book anyway and at least you will know that it is not your fault.
I'd tell him to save HIS money for a divorce lawyer sm
He seems kind of rude to me. No way my hubby would dictate to me like that. He knows I would show him the door
Machine of my choice - divorce lawyer
I couldn't live like that. Besides the awful stench and the health hazards, I wouldn't stand for his lack of respect for me.
Call lawyer! Nobody here is atty. Consultation will
x
Good point, I will be contacting a lawyer - sm
to get their input, though I wil probably do the filing solo so I save money, only about $300 if I do it myself. Just need to get info and follow the rules.
Our school system already has a
dress code in place, no belly shirts, shorts and jeans have to be a certain length, no huge baggy jeans on boys, etc. I know for a fact this is being in enforced in most of the schools becuase not only do I transcribe, I also substitute. My niece's parents were called over shorts that were to short. My son also had to change into his gym shirt because he was wearing a (green) T-shirt from Octoberfest with a beer mug (in all white) on it. That was my fault, I stupidly did not think anything of it but would not have let him wear it had I realized what it was advertising. My kids and so many other do follow the rules. I don't think they should be penalized for the few that don't. We live in a small town so we don't have many of the same problems that bigger cities have. At the first of 3 forums the other night, the auditorium was packed and not a single person spoke in favor of this. I would like to know how this will improve our education system.
I have a point system...
My kids love to come to Wal-Mart with me on the weekend and so if they get X amount of points for the week they get to come to Wal-Mart and get a little goodie. If they get X amount of points above that, they get two little goodies. For letting me work in peace I give two points, versus the one they get for everything else, so that acts as an incentive to keep out of my office. If they come in while I'm working they lose two points. This has worked pretty well thus far. For your kids the incentive might be a different kind of treat, but try it and see how it works for you!
Mainly because I am fed up with the school system here. sm
He is in the 1st grade for his second time now and still very far behind in my opinion. Teachers last year felt he needed held back and I agreed, but it is just no better this year so I just pulled him out. At this point, I hope I can get him caught up! I have priced cirriculums, but really need to wait until after the first of the year to purchase with the holidays right now so I wanted something to get him going in the meantime. He has dyslexia and ADHD and the public school setting is just not a great learning environment for him. He needs more one on one attention and help than he is getting at school with 30+ kids per teacher.
I also found this site. Any opinions on if you think it is worth joining? I think it is $19.95/mo.
http://www.time4learning.com/aboutUs.htm
Yes, that's what's wrong with the system
That's exactly my point. It's wrong on any level. It was obviously an unfortunate accident that no one should benefit from. If you daughter needs counseling to overcome this, then by all means take her and ask the dog owner to pay your copay. I think it was very reasonable that the dog owner offered to pay your copay from the hospital bill. You want revenge, not compensation.
Something about this story doesn't make sense. Your daughter comes running home dripping with blood and they had to pull the dog off her hand, but yet nothing was done with the dog. The dog's owners are so unreasonable and yet they're offering to pay your out-of-pocket expense. Your daughter is completely traumatized by all of this, and all you can think about is getting an attorney to sue for her pain and suffering. Again, call what it is.
Probably because our judicial system keeps
.
I do believe it is the same storm system s/m
Not sure when it turns to ice though. If I remember from the radar last night, looked like southwest to northwest Ohio is going to get hit with this too. Not sure about Sunday's storm yet. I tried to pull up the radar, but it isn't showing for tomorrow yet.
My daughter is supposed to be driving up from Dayton tomorrow and going back on Sunday, but I warned her not to. She just might have to stay!
Oh sorry. I thought he was a lawyer and the other two guys' father was judge. sm
My bad, but either way daddy can get him out of it.
Have you used a tooth whitening system?
Like Crest Whitestrips or something else? Anything other than having the dentist do it? (That's so expensive!)
Yes - Rembrandt Whitening System. sm
It works beautifully. I am a smoker, unfortunately, and my teeth are actually white, no stains, and you could never tell I smoke. At least, that's what many people have said.
It is a gel system with a mouth piece. I love it. Cheaper than Zoom in the dentist office.
As a product of the USA school system, yes I have.
Nothing more than daycare in my opinion. We should be looking at how other countries run things as far as the education system. Why is there no school in summer anyway? Wasn't the original reason so that kids could be with their families to work the harvest? School should be year 'round and the kids should come out of it SMART.
Product of USA school system.....
Both my children are a product of the USA school system and they both graduated with top honors, high SAT scores, got scholarships for college. It's what you put into it. If students don't make the effort, or parents, what do they expect the results will be?
Your state has a kickin' cam system!
I just spent about 15 minutes at this site: http://www.wsdot.wa.gov/traffic/default.aspx
lookin' at all the cameras and the different weather situations! Wow--that's incredible the HUGE differences in weather! "The man" has cameras EVERYWHERE--and that's just the ones we can see on the internet!
Sounds like the legal system
is trying to leave the discipline to the boy's parent. Is that so bad?
I did the "point" system several months
ago that I had done a long time ago and it does work. I lost 18 pounds in 3 weeks. Just stick with it.
I have a filtered water system on
my fridge. It tastes better than any bottled water I have bought, it is free, and I don't have to worry about the plastic bottles to throw away or recycle.
I once saw a thing on TV that said that bottled water is no healthier for you than tap water. You might look into a Brita pitcher or something. I think it would be cheaper than constantly buying bottled water.
I tried a system restore too, but wouldn't work.
I've had a lot of problems, even problems just getting used to the new set up. My Quick Look constantly freezes up on me too. It's very frustrating.
Aquasana shower filter system
Does anyone have this? It sounds great and I'm thinking about getting it. Curious if anyone uses this or something similar. tia
http://www.drwhitaker.com/order/aquasanaLP_expr.asp?promo_code=K6D03001&alias_code=91215L&cookie%5Ftest=1
they have some system now that they can sign up for to track who views sm
their myspace. not sure how it works because i didn't sign up for it, but i see it posted all the time. i view my daughter's friends sites all the time. noone has said anything to me yet about it, but i do communicate with a lot of them on there as they are friends and any friends of my children are friends with me as well. they know i wouldn't going ratting off on them unless it was something majorly in the wrong.
You can't force someone to learn so that they leave the system
io
The court system is a rotational door
There was enough evidence. Even the mother who got the children back had her own father testifying she did drugs, lousy mother, on and on. I am so glad I don’t have to put up with that crap anymore. This is where the welfare $$$ went, to a person who did not have enough get up and go to see the kids off to school in the morning. What a waste but lawdy, lawdy, make sure these mothers get those kids back. Glad I am not involved in the court system anymore.
Our school has an excellent system in place - sm
Every year we fill out a million forms that have to be turned in on the first and second days of schools or they get grades knocked down----they then call and email you when they have anything going on. When they first implimented it last year I got 5 phone calls (have 2 kids in school). They worked out the bugs and now I get one call and one email. It is all automated and works quite well. I also work PT for the school so they they know my face and name so that helps too. The school policy is not to let any elementary or primary school child off the bus unless a parent is there. If the driver does not see anyone the kid goes back to the school. Parents get upset with it too, if they are too lazy to come out to the bus stop, then they have to get in their car and drive to the school (not a short jaunt) and pick up their kid. Very safety conscious here. (or lawsuit fearful!)
Sadly they would probably be better off in the foster care system.
x
|
