...staying when there's NO love and no respect for YOU. nm
Posted By: Is the relationship really worth saving?? NM on 2007-08-05
In Reply to: Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in - all of this?? Sorry, but can't understand stayi
s
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No,. that's not me. My children love and respect me.
and vice versa.
They know that they can come to me with all their problems and we talk about it and we sort them out together. They know exactly that there are boundaries. I would never forsake my children, never! And neither would they, because I set the example.
...You do for one another out of love and respect, not because you feel you "should"
s
Okay, I was staying out of this until now
Philly Gal, people like you make me sick. You are working for the same reason the rest of us are, to make a living, regardless of what the money is used for. I've worked with women like you my whole life who act like they're working just to give themselves something to do. Face it "Honey," you have bills like the rest of us and if you didn't work, your perfect little life would not be nearly as wonderful.
My SO is staying here a while
before moving in permanently. The last time he was here, he always left his cell phone around - which I never checked and did not even think to do so. I heard him talking a minute or two while I was in the shower today. Then he went out for a walk but returned a short time later because it was too hot - he loves the hot weather. I have noticed that he carries that cell phone around as though it is attached to him - takes it to the shower, etc. Am I being paranoid? Any input would be appreciated!!
Then WHY are you staying? NM
b
How is them staying together better for the children?
It would have been best for the children if these too goofs had used effective birth control and not brought innocent people into the mix, but since they did the best thing for those kids is to get K-Fed out of their lives as much as possible and hopefully Britney has the sense to hire a good nanny because she's no prize either.
I say mandatory sterilization is a great idea for these two clueless, selfish, immature, irresponsible people who had no business reproducing.
My secret is staying out of the sun
and wearing a hat or slathering on a crapload of sunscreen! I got totally fried when I worked for a nursery (plants) back in the early 1990's and my ears burnt so bad they they actually got a tad deformed around the edges! I love outdoors time but I'll be darned if the sun is gonna be the cause of my demise!
Besides, I'm a superfreak when it comes to medical stuff. I love researching all sorts of medical crap and that nasty IUD just stuck in my head from my days in Anatomy and Physiology 101.
I also have a fetish for bugs too and someday, before I die, I'd love to play entomologist or something queer like that.
But- she is still questiong about staying?
What is the question? He was an older guy trying to molest children- what question does she have? None that I can see.
What's your trick for staying awake? (sm)
I don't sleep well at night, even with taking a pill, and during the day lately I'm finding it harder and harder to say awake. I've had 2 caffeinated beverages but that's not helping. Smacking my face isn't helping. It's killing my line count. Right now I have a clothes pin on my earlobe causing just enough pain to keep me momentarily alert, but I don't expect this to last. Any suggestions?
How about staying overnight at somebody's house
or even in a hotel, and not being able to figure out the shower controls. I don't know why a shower fixture designer would be so mean as to hide basic controls, but one design that has stumped me turned out to be a little ring that appeared to be a nonmoving part of the faucet, that had to be pulled upward. If you couldn't find it, you couldn't get the water to go from the lower faucet up to the showerhead. Furthermore, all the control it gave you was on or off, instead of being able to control water pressure.
Sheez, why the secret? It's not as if it is even an attractive design!
Trouble staying awake - what do you do?? (nm)
x
That was my thought, too. And have her eat well, staying away from junk
s
you did the right thing staying by the child...sm
and addressing the parent...I did worse than that...took the child, brought him to the front of the store and called out "lost parent alert"...Boy, that man was upset!
It's a shame that there were so many "nm" people out there replying to your post.  Cat
Sometimes staying is worse for the kids
I was in a similar situation for a long time. Our home became almost never peaceful due to their father's irrationality. It was an emotionally unsafe place for our 2 daughters. I'm not saying divorce is easy or always the answer, but in our case, we have had a friendly one, we are both still totally committed to co-parenting our children and everyone gets along so much better with him under another roof. My kids were 12 and 10 at the time (13 and 15 now), and we have been able to talk freely about all the issues and no one, not even my ex at this point, is happier than we ever were when we were living together. My daughters are above-average to excellent students in school, excel in music and sports and have the best relationship with both me and their dad that they have ever had. Sometimes you just got to look at a bigger picture about what is truly best for them, and then work at making sure their adjustment is paramount whether you decide to stay or decide to go. But having said that, be sure you do what is ultimately best for you too, I stayed as long as I did only because I let others try to tell me all the pat things, divorce is wrong, divorce is harmful to them, yadayadayada. Bottom line, if you are constantly unhappy, so will your kids be. Part of the reason my kids are so cool with the divorce is that they can now see me (and their father) happy. He has found a new partner, I haven't, but my happiness is not dependent on that. I go out some, but don't bring men around them to try to make a new daddy for them or anything like that. You have to decide what is right for you and for them, no matter really what anyone says. Once you have completely made that decision for yourself, you can make the rest fall into place. Best wishes to you!
I need help staying awake. I'm so sleepy. Any suggestions?
I go through spells like this where I just can't keep my eyes open and today is one of them. I find myself going to grab something to eat to help, but that really doesn't help with the weight any.
I desperately need to wake up. My workday is only half over. Any ideas?
Although I disagree with you staying, I admire your spirit :) nm
x
Dancing With the Stars. I wanted to see who else was staying, but they (SM)
kept fooling around and I would go from one channel to another watching something else, then back again. The commercials were over, and I dashed back into the room with the pan, sat down in my chair and without thinking laid the hot pan down beside me, realized what I had just done, but too late! They didn't even announce the next couple to stay then anyway! I watch the show from time to time, at least parts of it, but never got that into it, just wanted to know who would be eliminated last night. After the carpet deal I didn't care and still don't know!
Staying at home and sleeping it in. Have to be at work at
4:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. 
You know, it's kinda quiet on this side so would appreciate you staying with whatever
cat fight you might be in on the other pages.
and he should respect her the same way
by not giving her a hard time for going to church. It has to work both ways, or marriage simply cannot work at all. What a difficult decision, I hope it works out for them.
With all due respect ...
to you, children *deserve* food, clothing, shelter, medical care, education/instruction and LOVE. Anything else is out of the goodness of their parents' hearts and what the parents can afford. This sense of entitlement is why so many children are growing up spoiled, self-centered and unappreciative.
No respect for new name...
I have a friend who decided several years ago to change his name. His family knows his name (not far from his old as say used to be Michael and wants a shortened version say Mike.) The problem is his family does not honor his wishes to be called his new name and refers to him in the old name. Here recently he had an aunt out of town who died and my friend's brother was getting some flowers to be delivered to the funeral. The friend said be sure and use my name, the other one and the brother would not, saying no everyone knows you by your other name and the friend let that go through. I have told the friend he needs to take a stance on this but how would someone else handle this? His name change took place over 10 years ago and still they do not honor this. Any suggestions?
respect is
x
With respect . . .
Having grown up in a devote Catholic family, and forced to go to Catholic school all my life many, many years ago I have studied many, many religions in my search for Truth. Even as a small, small child, I could not buy the teachings of the Catholic Church. It is an organization bent on interpretation of Christ's teachings, run by men, and a control tool for the public, especially women. The idea that the Catholic Church is the one true church is ridicuous. Again, the key word here is its interpretation. Interpretation is going to be different to different people and different cultures. The Catholic Church was the greatest proponent of reincarnation until the 15th century when St. Augstine thought it afforded mankind too ample a time for salvation. It was a mystical powerful church, but felt that imparting sacred mystical teachings was only for the select few at the top, not their lowly congregations. It plundered and slaughtered thousands of humans to convert them. But then so have many other religions in the name of God. This is the problem with any organized religion. Don't get me wrong, there are many fine Catholics, and many fine people who believe in it. There is but ONE sacred bond that involves onto two sides, you and God. Nothing could be more sacred. You do not need an organization for that. It is a sacred private matter, just you and God. No one else. No one needs to belive or follow an organization, or think that the only way to God is through that organization. That is ridiculous, and a means of control.
Not really about respect for yourself always (sm)
Getting over caring what everyone else thinks about you is a major milestone in life. Wonderfully freeing. I wear shirts that are too tight sometimes because like I said, I can't afford to replace everything at once and am hoping to lose the weight and not need to replace everything. Meanwhile, I do have some things to get dressed up in for those times that I do care how I look. But on a daily basis, I really don't care what anyone else thinks.
they stated half was staying here in US/hafl to Africa (nm)
x
With all due respect, and I mean that honestly, (sm)
You insinuated that just because one may not communicate every gory and painful detail of his/her past to the spouse, love is missing from the marriage.
Relationships are complicated and I find no problem with someone whose past doesn't interfere with the relationship not communicating it. If the relationship thrives status quo, then that's between them.
Respect is what I deserve.
NM
With all due respect moderator
I really do not think this is the poster. I have read her posts and she has always been very nice and compassionate. Not that it matters anymore, the poster that was starting arguments went under the handle of Z. I admit I was also nasty as she upset me by calling me a "goof" and kept escalating the discussion which then became a heated argument between the two of us. I apologize for my involvement in that thread and should not have let someone get the better of me over something stupid.
He doesn't respect your
mother, and doesn't believe she will be "mean" to him. Therefore she will end up having to do what he doesn't believe she will do IMO.
We are lucky in that respect
If we lose power it is usually only for a couple hours. My in-laws lose power all the time though and usually for 24 hours or more.
We live on a county line too. Funny less than 2 miles down the road is where 1 county turns around. It is like a straight line the plow draws across the road.
I hope you don't live in Northern Michigan. That is sure to be a mess for your daughter to travel to. I hope she doesn't push it. It can be dangerous out there at a moments notice.
He should have respect for his father and
I did tell him last night that he was the one who made the decision to quit school, not us. We went as far as to walk him to the bus, watch him get on and when he got to school, he would go in one door and out the other. Sometimes he would even slip off the bus during another stop. When we went to court the last time, the judge gave us the option of emancipation after he looked at the records, so we did that. That way, he was responsible for himself and we would not be dragged into court again (it was our 4th time).
As for my DH not working, he states that he could find work if he tried. (He owns a tri-axle and we all know what kind of highway work is out there right now.) If he wants to get another job around here, it would have to be a coal mine or as an over-the-road truck driver being gone for weeks at a time. My gosh, DH will be turning 62 this year. Do I want him to do the above 2 jobs? He was an OTR for 32 years and he's all I have now, so that's not an option..
It's bad enough when he's gone from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. when there is work, so he's no slouch and he has even gone to work when he had the gout so bad he could barely walk, while the son takes off work every time he gets a cold.
I was going to call him this morning (he's laid off right now) and tell him he owes his father an apology, but I think I will let it go for one last time, although DH stated last night he's done with him. I certainly don't want this to get any worse.
Yes!! I get extremely bored and have trouble staying focused on typing. sm
Some days I am so bored I dont know how I am going to get through the day!!
Getting there early and staying late, time spent on phoning
il
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.
You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
Respect or giving up your free will.
If she wants to go to church, and have that church a major part of her life, why should she give that up. He shouldn't have to go if he doesn't want to either. Sometimes divorce isn't a sad/bad thing.
I do appreciate life and have respect for animals.
I just don't think they should be shoved in my face.
I agree - there are many children in stores who should be taken outside to be handled. However, people are NOT animals.
Unfortunately, most doglovers cannot appreciate this difference.
Respect your opinion, but should only be last resort.
meow
I respect your opinion, but that beach is SM
very very small. During the week would be no problem, but forget about weekends.
Favorite South Florida beaches for me are 15th beach on South Beach, (but you have to have a great body! :)) and Hollywood Beach. That really is a lovely beach. Kind of cheesy boardwalk, but great beach.
North Fla, St. Augustine beach.
Sanibel Island also have really nice beach, but watch out for sand flies and red tide.
Sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you if he can't
s
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.
And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back. You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems. Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.
Think about it. You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit. You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something. What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect. Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life. Maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.
I really lose a lot of respect for the candidates
that talk back to the judges. I know that Simon can be very mean, but it is not like these kids don't know this. I think the singers should bite their tongue and just try to take the comments and try to improve their singing next week.
Yeah, E! is a little outdated in that respect!
Sometimes it cracks me up.
Oh Wow. Staying in downtown Atlanta in a historic hotel. This place is haunted. No one
told me this, I am a Christian and I feel this heavy spirit following me everywhere I go! How crazy is that? I believe there is something here at this place. It is a beautiful place, but definitely something spiritual going on here. This was the place where they had some Gone With The Wind ball many years ago. Very strange.
We are here visiting and going to the zoo, children's museum, and aqauarium this week. Wow. I have the chills right now! night night
Anyone have plans for the Superbowl? Staying home, going to friends, making food,
I agree, they should receive more respect from students
and parents alike. I just don't believe they are underpaid for the actual hours they put in.
Agree. He's a pig and has totally no respect for you. Move on. nm
s
Be strong - your parents should respect you as an adult
Instead it seems like they are treating you like a child, expecting you to cater to their whims.
You can respectfully but firmly say to them that while you appreciate having extra time with them, the plans to go to your in-laws were made long ago and you have to respect them, also.
I'm sure your parents were aware of all this when they changed their plans. Just don't let them guilt you into doing something you will regret.
Stand strong, sista!
Respect is earned, not demanded, and certainly not an entitlement. nm
f
All spanking does is make kids respect you to your face (sm)
it does not teach them anything at all. When my kids were very young and I could not reason with them, they did occasionally get a swat to get them to listen to me, but once they are old enough to reason, there is no reason to use physical force on them. I am telling you, all it does is raise sneaky kids.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
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