(((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you trose...sm
Posted By: mt on 2008-04-09
In Reply to: Update on son - trose
I'm so glad you took him in. That's a very scary situation, and I think you did the right thing having him talk to someone right away. I'm very proud of you...it must have been hard, even knowing that you had to.
About the eating disorder, keep an eye out for signs. I did want to say though that my hubby and all his buddies as well as my son and all his buddies say they're fat all the time. They rip on each other constantly too. They just walk up and say, *hey fat***, been going a little heavy on the cupcakes?* They all do it--no matter how skinny they are. My 12-year-old is 5 feet tall and weighs 90 pounds. Skinny as a rail, but he says all the time, *gotta feed the fat* or *fat guy in a little car*.
Now, I don't mean that you shouldn't take it seriously and watch for it (especially if his friends are concerned), but I thought you might like to hear that sometimes boys are just dumb. We (the wives) always say how mean they are and can you imagine if we did that? Oh, hey mt, (doing my best macho tone) still carrying the baby weight, huh? Can you imageine saying that to a friend?!? We'd all be in tears!
Please keep us updated, we'll be thinking about you.
One more thing--you might be able to take him into the dentist just for his check up. When they are making themselves throw up, one of the signs is the enamal on the inside of their teeth being damaged or gone.
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Hugs with my daughter and son!! Can't go without daily hugs!!! nm
x
above msg for trose..nm
*
For Trose... (btw, this is my day off :)
If you want to know what you're going to be like in Heaven, what your Heavenly body is going to be like, it's going to be like you are now, only much more Heavenly, eternal, beautiful, wonderful, thrilling & glorious! (Phi.3:21)
When the Lord created the cycles of butterflies & moths, He was illustrating resurrection. They hatch from eggs into little worm-like caterpillars. Then they wrap themselves up in a cocoon called a chrysalis, almost like a coffin, & it SEEMS they die!
BUT THEN: Spring comes & suddenly the coffin splits open & out comes a beautiful butterfly or moth! Once it was just a little crawling worm, the most despised of all creatures, & all of a sudden it breaks out into a beautiful butterfly that flies in the heavens! -- One of the prettiest creatures!
Like the difference between the grain of wheat & the full-grown, full-blown stock & head that comes from one grain, or the flower that comes from one tiny seed, that's how much better your new Heavenly body is going to be!
It will be so much more wonderful, it will be like the difference between the seed & the flower! (1Cor.15:35-38, 42-58)
You're going to be like the Angels of God! (Lk.20:36)
I DO get that, trose...and thanks :)
thanks for what you said....it's better late than never...I had a huge problem with my mother for 10 years and then 9 years....a total of 19-20 years......but in that case, SHE lost out.....SHE missed the entire journey (and was physically there but not emotionally....very bad if you're like that...to have kids anyway). I'm fine today but took mucho years of therapy from like 8-28.....
And as a result of all that badness, I've been a better parent because of it...
out of every bad thing that happens to one in life, something good and positive comes out from that........
To trose
No....I was only thanking others for responses.....
to trose
yes, I think Obama actually addressed this saying people were sending out these e-mails and they weren't true -we have to be careful what we read on the internet - everything is not true and you kind of have to do your own research - on another note, I tried the pinapple cheese recipe you posted a few days ago - YUMMY!
LOL trose !
Trose, please do not take this
lightly. A few posters thought it was nothing to worry about. WHENEVER someone talksabout being unhappy and suicide....DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY. Yes they may be trying for attention or doing one better than the other...you are doing the RIGHT THING..take him to a therapist or psychiatrist. He needs to express his feelings but unfortunately, not with his parents. Do not feel bad about that...it's hard to be honest with the folks as you know. Keep up with all that you have been doing and even if it turns out to be nothing - YOU ARE GREAT PARENTS....some kids just need attention and not from their parents. Hang in there...things will turn out!!! Good luck, hugs, and my thoughts are with you. You are doing the right thing - don't take this lightly...please.
trose....How's your son? Everything going well? nm
Trose - Heaven
Trose, I love the creativity of this site.. go down the page for the beautiful animated graphic, and oh the words underneath are awesome.
http://www.angelfire.com/la2/OurAngel/Links.html
Trose I wouldn't let it go at that (sm)
I haven't chimed in until now, but I would go to the school and talk to the principal. My daughter is 7 and I can't even imagine someone doing that to her. Our kids are at the mercy of their teachers unless their parents stand up for them. They have no recourse against adults who treat them badly, unless we help them. It is not a matter of being overly sensitive. I wouldn't just hope that she gets reprimanded, I would see to it. I would request a meeting with her and the principal. I had to do this once when a teacher made my son clean feces off a bathroom wall - he reported it to her and she told him to clean it up. It wasn't his!! He would never have done something like that. So my son had to clean sh*t off a wall that wasn't his and be exposed to who knows what. I think it is good that you sent her an e-mail first, because that is documentation, which she knows, and that is why she did not respond to you in writing. You go mom! Keep your cool and remain calm but let them know it is unacceptable! I let too many things slide when my kids were even younger that I already regret. No more!
Trose -- I saw your post below
and just wondering how you are . . . hoping everything is okay. Please let us know when you can.
You sound like me, Trose
I'm 45 and my daughter is 14 and I've been taking her to concerts since she was 6. We just went to a Matchbox 20 concert and a few months ago we saw Daughtry. I think it's great when people don't necessarily act their age, within reason, of course. I think I also dress appropriately for my age. And yep, I wish I was the same weight 20 years ago. LOL. But whatever works for others is fine with me. My neighbor across the street is my age, but you'd never know it. She acts and dresses like she's 60, but she's still a friend. Long hair short hair, it doesn't matter as long as you like it.
Trose, I don't believe in heaven, but I would teach SM
heaven to small children, until they are older and can grasp death in the reality of truth. Hmm,did that make any sense? It's late.
Trose, I emailed you back...
This time with the right web address I hope. Let me know if the one I sent doesn't work...and I hope you enjoy the site!
Hey trose - I have A child...one...by choice...LOL
 Hi trose!
I knew I'd do GREAT with one and felt I'd be inundated with 2, especially since the husband was the 2nd child......in age and maturity...*lol*...I felt like I had TWO kids for 10 years.....I divorced him, got the kid, and she's TERRIFIC and close to both parents...
Came out nice and well adjusted, considering..........*ROFL* had I had a better marriage, I'd have had a gaggle of kids...*lol* But one quality child is better than 3-4 ones that can and might (will) run ya ragged. And mine is not all that spoiled, CERTAINLY NOT FINANCIALLY that's a given...*rofl* (on her own now for a long long time but around the corner...*whew*)
Hi Trose - thanks for the great idea!
I think I'll start recording the games on the camcorder. That should keep me out of trouble. Then I can watch the game at home (alone) and yell all I want at the bad calls!!! Hahaha! Thanks.
Trose: Update on swimming class
Funny you should bring this up again. I sent the gym teacher an email the night of the 19th and she never responded until today, AFTER I sent her another email with a copy to the district office asking her why she had not responded.
She basically said that she didn't realize that her direct questioning and her "simple suggestion" was "too direct for someone who was apparently over-sensitive."
Offered no apology, nothing. Her reply was not copied to the district office so I replied to her with a copy to the district office so her response went to them also.
Since this incident last Wednesday, I have learned that this is certainly not an isolated incident but the kids were basically too scared to say anything about it. They feared that if they complained, she would fail them and has apparently threatened to do so.
Basically, it is still unresolved. My daughter is back to swimming today so we will see if there are any further comments tonight when she gets home.
I hope the teacher is at least reprimanded by the school district and maybe given some training on how to handle delicate situations with young girls going through the beginnings of puberty.
Here it is, trose - Khalil Gibran on Love
On Love
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep,
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire,
that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart,
and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say,
'God is in my heart,' but rather,
'I am in the heart of God.'
And think not you can direct the course of love,
for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night,
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
http://www.maryourmother.net/Gibran.html
Look trose, there are limits to how weird the things can be!! LOL (nm)
x
Thank you Trose, so do I believe it will make a huge difference, NM
z
Trose - would love to hear what happened at your SS class.
nm
Hey trose, I've had many yard sales over the years and have
seem some pretty surprising stuff go on, only to watch people battle off and jump in their "fancy" cars. I've had people set a whole pile of stuff in front of me and throw a 5 at me and try to take off knowing that what they had cost more. I had one lady say "quarter?" over and over and over trying to buy two folding lawn chairs and I kept saying, "NO." She finally gave up and left. I've had people steal right out from under my nose and jump in their "fancy" cars and take off. I've had a whole "family" of Mexicans pile out of a very nice van and converge upon my yard sale with one person trying to keep my attention while their family members steal whatever they could from me. When I saw a one of the kids stick an X-Box game in his shirt, I told him he had to pay for it and he tried to walk away. When my husband came up on the boy, the father tried to start a fight with my husband. My neighbor called the police and when they arrived they had the adults and teens in cuffs and the children in the back of a unit. Turned out they were illegal and were arrested and hauled off and then a tow truck came and got the van.
I haven't had a yard sale in a long, long time.
HUGS! Kim. nm
nm
So sorry. ((HUGS)) nm
nm
Hugs to you...
I hope you get through and hopefully he will change his mind. I feel your pain and no one can really truly knows unless they know your particular circumstances and have been in your shoes! Won't go into gory details, but suffice it to say my divorce was from a divorce attorney, one of the best in the area and pretty influential in most aspects of the community. No other attorney in a wide part of that area would even talk to me on the phone because of possible conflicts of interest in having to deal with him on court cases, even at the other end of the state! Finally did take the papers to an attorney, who said he wasn't afraid of him, looked them over to the tune of about $480 for an hour and said he could have been more "generous" but nothing really illegal in them and would wipe me out to pursue and would cost ex nothing. (Hey, at least I got my divorce free!!) I've always just tried to keep in my mind what is best for the kids, i.e, just let them live as peacefully as possible and know that I'm doing the right thing. I had many chances to bad-mouth my ex, especially with my oldest, who cried to me that "now we're just like everyone else, divorced," but I never have and never will, even though I suspected and know in my heart what was going on, and now they all get along great. Have I been down on my knees crying why is this happening to us and how I am going to live?! Yes. Would I do it again, yes, because my children were the best thing that ever happened in my life, even though it didn't turn out as I had expected. I have had more lies told about me then I can count from my so-called "friends" and when I moved to the "divorcee-haven" apartments as someone so kindly put it. People can be so cruel, and it really hurts sometimes when they don't really know what's going on. Hang in there! When your son is old enough, HE will be able to tell the court where he wants to go if you desire to pursue it.
((((Hugs)))))
You are not alone. My sympathies to you and your family. I hope you find a way to create a memorial that will honor your mother and help you feel some peace.
Big hugs to Cat!!
You made me smile - thank you!! :)
(((hugs))) to you too - so sorry for both of you (nm)
x
My hugs to both of you too....
I can only imagine how enormous the void must be, especially with the holidays. It's good you feel free to share your pain. Never apologize for that! It's real!! If anyone doesn't understand, that's all about their need to grow, not yours. I've heard other people say as you have that it never goes away. I pray you will find special comfort this year, special memories, ways to know your children live on, and ways to bless others because of what you've gone through. ((hugs))
((hugs))
(((hugs))) 2007 was like this for me; you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
((((((HUGS))))))
I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved cat. We lost our 9-year-old cat last year, and I know how heartbreaking it is. Please accept my deepest sympathy.
And some more hugs...sm
So sorry. I lost my 17-year-old cat in November. Your last sentence sums it up pretty well. (((hugs)))
Hugs to you and your family....
This saying is on the grave of one of Mark Twain's daughters, written by Robert Richardson.
Warm summer sun
shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
blow softly here,
Green sod above Lie light, Lie light,
Good night, Dear heart,
Good night, Good night.
Hugs to you and your hubby!!
My best friend had a miscarriage in 1994 and she still gets a little emotional when she talks about, even though she went on to have 2 healthy daughters.
Cyber hugs! nm
{}{}{}
Oh, I had those hugs and loves and all
in earlier years, the works but you would be totally surprised what a chunk of money can do to a person. I never would have thought in a million years and I did instill good values in the kids and never for 1 minute have thought I have failed. I would bite my tongue off before I spoke to a parent of mine like this 1 did about my getting the money. You hear about families fighting in the courts about property left to 1 and not the other and money and things like that- it is not unusual and even though he got over $50,000.00 from this family member, he thought he should have the rest of what was in the bank which I got. It can happen. Oh, by the way, raised with stepfather that both seemed to be pretty close to. I know this sounds harsh but I will not take abuse from him, from my husband or any other person. His father did not give 1 red cent for his upbringing- I did that all. Oh, this son is married so he has his wifes family and that is all he thinks he needs anyway. I do not lose any sleep over this. Never a pushover here and do not intend to start now.
I will pray for you also. Hugs to you. nm
!
Sending you hugs - sm
I am so sorry for your loss. They are like our babies and it is so hard when we lose them. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to greive. Think about maybe a shadow box with your kittie's things in it as a memory.
How scary! Big hugs to you. sm
Take a deep breath, say the Serenity Prayer, Let Go and Let God, make sure you are taking care of yourself by eating and getting the rest you need. That's what Al-Anon has taught me and it has served me well. 
So sorry - been there - thoughts and hugs
to you. I had to replace my last one who had seen me through a divorce and was essentially my significant other with two. I feel your pain.
I know how hard this must be for you. Hugs to you! nm
!
I'm so sorry. That must be really hard...I'm just sorry ((hugs)) (nm)
x
Thank you also for your HUGS at this time.
Yes, my husband will be with me. My one son is at highschool today. Told him to say goodbye to his "Sister" today. That just did me in for sure. He was upset but I have been preparing him for this for the past couple of days. He understands about her not wanting to suffer. My other son, who is 20, just left for work and said goodbye to her. They both will be home this afternoon, so we can all say a final good-bye. At least she will still be close to us in the back garden. We will plant some flowers in the spring.
More hugs and condolances here too.
Oh how sad. They do leave quite the hole in our hearts don't they. What was his name? Lots of cat lovers here who know exactly what you're going through, myself included.
You know though, being an outdoor cat but dying inside is a sign that whatever it was, it was quick, as I have found that they usually try and hide, which is really awful to go looking for your missing cat and then finding them long after the fact. That probably doesn't help console you right now though. Seems that nothing helps the hurt to stop except time.
Take care of yourself.
So sorry for your pain. I know how bad it hurts - {{hugs}}
nm
Hugs and prayers to you. I know your pain right now and wish
there was something I could say or do to make it better for you. Just know that all of us here are keeping you in our hearts and prayers.
What a lovely post. Hugs to you too! nm
x
Hugs to you all, I would cry everytime I would read one nm
nm
*hugs* I'm so sorry. I know the pain as it is still very fresh for me. SM
He had such loving parents these last months of his life and you did everything you could for him.
At the cremation place they gave me this card.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in or dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing, they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Their bright eyes are intent. Their eager body quivers. Suddenly they begin to run from the group, flying over the green grass, their legs carrying them faster and faster. You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
Hugs & Kisses From Fred
Hugs and Kisses to all of Fred's new friends and well wishers. You have made both of us feel so much better about the predicament we are in. We thank you for your prayers and thoughtfulness, and we will let you know as soon as the deed has been done. Fred didn't seem to mind when my hair turned gray and my skin started to wrinkle, and I will love Fred unconditionally, tail or no tail!
xxxoooxxxoooxxxooo
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