....Chances of...nm
Posted By: nm on 2007-03-05
In Reply to: Changes of a Down syndrome baby go up with age, though. You'll need to decide if an amnio & its - results are right for you. nm
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I know my chances are 0 with that court
You said "I've seen them put kids in the custody of parents who are known to abuse them when the other parent has no problems, etc."
That's exactly the situation here. My son wants to live with his dad due to his lax (to put it mildly) parenting skills and will cheefully lie to keep daddy out of trouble. The last custody battle was the worst nightmare I ever hope to go through, every lie the ex told was taken as gospel, every truth I told was "alleged" - and while the judge was making the custody decision, my ex went to jail for being drunk and naked in his yard while my child was present, the court was quite aware of this and he STILL got awarded custody. I am really reluctant to jump into another such fiasco, and I told my son until he is ready to tell the judge in writing he wants to live with me, I won't go back to court.
I am convinced that by the time I got to court my son would be back in school, it would be a moot point, I would be told its "normal" to miss that much school, ex would get a pat on the head for his "loving parental concern", and the ex would retaliate by counter-filing to double or triple my child support payments.
That particular court has told me "lots of children go to school filthy and in rags, its the community norm, its no big deal". My child has experienced recurrent scabies and lice due to his father's lifestyle, (which is also "normal" to the court) so I am utterly amazed at his dad's sudden concern for his health.
Chances are if he's doing it in the same places, (sm)
some urine has gotten under, between, or into the wood panels on the floor. You may end up having to pull those out and replace them. Don't use any kind of cleaner that has ammonia in it - as it will ATTRACT the cat to that spot.
There is a very good product called "Nature's Miracle", and they also make a cat-specific formula, too. It has enzymes that eat the invisible crystals of urine that you can't see or smell, but your cat - with 1000 x's better smell than humans, can still smell. There is also a similar product called "Anti-Icky-Poo" that works the same way.
Be sure your cat has more than one litter box, and try keeping them as clean as possible. Most cats don't like scented litter, so try using unscented only. The hard-clumping kind is the best, because you'll leave less traces of urine behind when you scoop. Experiment with litter depths. Lots of cats don't like it very deep. (Like my cat). Kind of defeats the scooping feature, but having to wash & replace litter more often due to using less may actually be a good thing.
My cat actually prefers NO litter... and either just a bare box, or one with some paper towels on the bottom. Only thing is, that way it's only good for one use, and has no odor-control.
If you use a domed litter box, try removing it. Some cats feel claustrophobic in them, and they can intensify odors inside (like a human's port-a-potty). If it's a big cat, try a larger litter pan. (A plastic sweater-storing box, like you'd get at K-Mart or Wal-Mart, makes a good "jumbo" litter box.)
If you only have one box, add a second. (A good rule of thumb is one box per cat, +1 extra). My cat likes to pee in one box, and poo in the other.
Try putting the box(s) in the spot(s) where he goes. If it's not in a good place for YOU, but he's using it reliably, you can gradully move it about an inch a day to your desired location.
Is there anything psychological that could be going on? (Which is MY cat's problem!) Is the litter box in a noisy place, like next to a washer or dryer? Is there a new cat hanging around outside that he can see and is worried about? (That was also happening here... I bought some cat/dog repellent and spray it around outside every couple days to keep them away from the front door, where my cat can see them.) I also tried spraying some of it in areas where I didn't want her to pee indoors, but with about 80% success.
I'm in the midst of trying the Feliway "Comfort Zone" synthetic pheromone products right now. It's EXPENSIVE stuff! But anything's worth a try at this point. One bottle is a diffuser (kind've like a bathroom scent-thing) that you plug into an electrical socket in the room. I use mine in the corner of the kitchen where the litter boxes are. There's also a spray bottle. If the cat is SPRAYING (like on the walls), they say to spray it where the cat sprays. It's supposed to be pretty effective. But for litter-box avoidance it can be less effective. For that problem I sprayed a little bit IN the litter boxs (she has 3!), and found the first 2 days it worked well. Kitty had a relapse this morning, so I'm hoping that was just a slip, and that the Feliway will keep on helping.
I called Rescue again, and they said that even though she tested negative for a UTI, that she would still have a very low-grade one that doesn't register on the test. They swear by putting the litter-box-avoiding, negative-urine-tested cat on about a month of antibiotics anyway, and that it often clears up the problem.
So I may try that next. The ONLY other thing I haven't tried yet is putting her on an antidepressant such as Prozac or amitriptyline... which I don't think her pet insurance will cover, and I don't think I can afford. I guess amitriptyline is sometimes a good choice, not only for its calming effects, but also it's anti-inflammatory properties.
It's not an easy problem to deal with, so I wish you luck, and I hope I might have had an idea that might help.
I would get really upset at him, and give no chances
That does not mean I would be correct, though. I have an active imagination. And very little trust. But my DH and I met on a Singles board and even after we were close to marriage, he still had his ad up there. It made me crazy wondering why. He finally proposed. 2 years later married, I found out he had been interviewing girls right up to his proposal even as we were dating for a year and more than close. To this day he admits it and says he was just being insecure. Now I am married a few years, I still don't trust him or any guy who surfs the net like that. The bad thing is if you confronted your guy and told him about the history, you probably gave him too much info that you looked at the history and he can delete the history now. Don't know what to say, except don't be as untrusting as me, and drive yourself crazy over it. Either talk to a counselor who would know better what to do or trust your instinct. Me, I'd go to a counselor and they'd probably ease my imagination or get me closer to reality. Good Luck with this. My heart is with you.
Chances are, this is an outdoor, nondominational
codes against taking them to a church service, because that would open up a whole nother can of worms.
But really... home-teaching shouldn't be the ONLY input a child gets in life. They will ultimately make their own choices in life, and the more viewpoints they learn, the better their choices are likely to be.
Some of the wildest, most out-of-control kids I know are the ones with ultra-strict parents. Worse yet are the home-schooled, who go out into the world without a good working knowledge of how to deal with diversity.
And look where home-teaching about sex, birth-control, and abstinence has gotten us. More and more teenagers giving birth every day. sex education in the home is pathetically lacking for most kids, and so is home-schooling when it comes to morals and values. And I'm not talking about biblical 'morals', I'm talking about an every-day, common-sense personal CONSCIENCE. Far too many parents I meet appear to be sadly lacking in common sense or a conscience.
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