""Love Must Be Tough" -- written by (sm)
Posted By: No Name on 2007-07-31
In Reply to: If your husband had a problem with your weight and (sm) - Butter and clutter
Dr. James Dobson -- excellent for couples with significant marriage problems -- please read.
Sounds like your husband is seriously involved with "someone else." And, if so, you could never be organized enough or tall/thin enough. His insulting remarks are possibly his outlet to relieve himself of "guilt." Don't give up -- be tough!!
Just another opinion!! May God bless you in your decision-making.
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You said you "love him too much" to tell him sm
how you feel. If you love him that much, you should tell him how you feel before it is too late and he is gone! Maybe you telling him how you feel will help him to get his life back on track. I don't blame you for not wanting to visit. I wouldn't either but for your love for him, he deserves you to tell him. If it were your child in this situation, would you not tell them because you loved them too much? Remember that phrase, tough love?
That is "love your quote" - DUH! LOL
nm
I love the "love in every knot". sm
My SIL ,makes lots of these. She has given them to my children as well as other as gifts. She also makes them and donates them to our church each year for our Lord's Acre Sale. My mother was in the process of making one for her mother when she passed away. My SIL finished it so we were able to send it to my grandmother. That is just one of the few things my SIL did for me at that very difficult time. My mother had already done most of her Christmas shopping so my SIL got all the gifts and wrappd them for my children and nieces. I could go on and on about what a great SIL she has been to me.
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Love Story
If you truly "love" someone, do you give up your own happiness for them?
I know this is where compromise comes in, but say like, if you are in a relationship and your personalities clash... but you love each other... one of you likes to be social and the other wants to stay home and doesn't want to have friends... how do you deal with this? Because if you compromise doesn't it feel like you are just forcing the other person to do what they dont want to do...?
I'd recommend seeing the Beatles "Love." Outstanding!
Ladies, would you "love" your DH/SO to wear a skirt?
NEW ORLEANS — A New Orleans man has sued the New Orleans Police Department, claiming he was harassed by an officer who threatened to arrest him for wearing a black pinstriped skirt to municipal court.
Jeremy Don Kerr is asking for $1 in damages, a ruling that his rights were violated, and an order against barring access to public facilities because of gender stereotyping.
The department hasn't been served with the lawsuit and hasn't answered the claim in court.
Kerr filed the civil rights lawsuit last month. He says he finds skirts more comfortable than pants, and wears them with button-down oxfords or T-shirts.
And he says women love it.
Oops, meant above to go under "love of my life" post.
x
I did. I leave all judgments up to the Lord, I take his golden rule to "love thy neighbor as the
to be the supreme rule, try to live by it always. I do not have to condemn, or judge in any way, Jesus is the supreme judge, what is wrong with extending earthly concern, friendhip, and love? Sometimes that works oh so much better when trying to "enlighten' someone than judgment, or hate, or harshness. That is all.
Thank you for a well-written response
Of course, there are parts of what you say I agree with and parts I don't. :)
In my case, I had to step in or the state would have taken the child. The dad was a bum...but when I look at how he was raised and the he** he went through, I understand how scared he is of even trying to be a father. I don't excuse it, but I understand it. I understand it all the way to family court where I will be getting a child support order against him next month <G>. Got one on my own daughter, already. My daughter was born with a mental illness and was a teenage mother. It was a time bomb that finally exploded in a world of drug abuse. But to treat the addiction without the mental illness will never result in a productive member of society. So...that being said, holding these 2 parents accountable is futile...other than financially (okay, even I laugh at ever seeing any of that money). They are infrequent visitors in my GC's life. That is simply the way it is.
I look at European countries and see multigenerations living together even still, where the older family members help raise the young children so the parents can support the entire household. That was what I meant about a community raising children. We as Americans don't function in that way overall as a society. We splinter and break apart and when young adults need help, often it means the children go somewhere else (usually aunts, uncles, grands). Sometimes in divorce, one party has more _power/control_ (usually due to finances) and has a greater say in how, who and where the children are raised. I suspect there is some of this dynamic occuring in the OP's life that she felt she couldn't share. (My story is out there...but some are not as open). Some divorced people use children as pawns, and this, too, is as sad as parents who cannot take responsibility for their offspring.
But I do fully support any parent, who for the sake of the children, can try to enrich their young lives and teach them tolerance, patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and learn how to deal appropriately with situations so that they can grow into strong, proud adults. I suppose my point in all this was in my original response. Bad things can be found everywhere...but if we can teach our children how to deal with them in a positive way, we have given them the gift of maturity.
Thank you for your response. I did appreciate reading it and respect what you had to say.
I have already written them a letter that I will
I also suggested they take the "America" off their name as they don't represent America in any form.
you can only have one will, the latest one written...
You can have one will from one departed person per beneficiary...
If Anna had 7 wills for Daniel from herself, they have to go by the latest dated one.........
.
You will be blasted probably for what you have written
but I take another stance on this because I have been through similar with elderly people (parent was 90 when they died). After their spouse died, they asked me to come and live with them and I absolutely refused. I told them first of all I have bills they would not pay for (could have but wouldn’t have and not their place anyway) but my life would be hel*. So overbearing and almost impossible to be around to visit, just bit my tongue in order to visit. Mine was not senile at all, just so darn irritating, put me down, watched me like a hawk in their home like I was going to steal their bed or something. Does your mother have anyone there to see about her or provide any outside assistance? I tried getting this for my parent (they were so bull-headed, turned everything down) but with the senility of course you know she needs someone if not already. I just tried to provide any and all assistance available for the elderly - Meals on Wheels and other associations to assist with my parent because I would not be there to do it..... although I was only a phone call away and always could be at their home say in a couple of hours if I were needed for a real emergency like you said. By the way, the dentist office completely out of line calling about an appointment? If another place asked and you did not want to give 1, just play like you are having a senior moment, ok? If you have not done so already, check out senior assistance programs. You probable have thought about this anyway, just what I tried to do. Oh, I had the courts set up to take over my parents daily living, etc. because of a person that was taking them for a lot of money- the court case supposed to be the next week and the parent killed in an accident on a lawnmower that weekend before the hearing.
Tired--I could have written that! (sm)
I used to have to go down for a nap during my lunch break and if I wasn't careful, I'd oversleep by at least a good hour. I even tried working a split shift, which only made my fatigue worse because I'd take the 4-hour break in between just to sleep.
My husband is on the verge of needing insulin shots due to his very poorly controlled diabetes. His latest health report scared him enough to make him a willing participant in a strict diet. I am also on this diet to help make things easier. It totally bites the big one but I'll tell ya, WHAT A DIFFERENCE in my energy level--his too! We figure it just had to be the sugars and carbohydrates that were dragging us down.
No more breads, pastas, rice, or taters....all the things we really loved. We do munch all day though but on teeny portions of good stuff--mostly raw things like fruits, veggies, or bits of egg & lean meats. No more cream or sugar in our coffee, and that's just limited to 1 cup of black a day. No more butter either--my personal favoritest fat.
Been on it almost a month now and I can honestly truly feel a difference. I almost have enough energy to start exercising, which I didn't have before.
I'm 5' 10" and topped off at 230 but am now down to 220 just by this diet alone with no exercise. I'd be happy at 185 but once winter hits...man, I just don't know about that! I haven't been to a doctor in about 2 years either, but I'd recommend you visit one if you can, just to rule out stuff, ya know?
Hope you feel better soon!
I have written 6 screenplays.
I also have many in various stages of completion. I have never even told anyone that I write. My husband doesn't even know. I took a transcription course because he would complain about me being on the computer so much that I thought if I had a good reason to be on the computer, he would leave me alone. I wait until he and the kids go to bed at night and then I type away. He has almost caught me a couple of times by sneaking up on me to see what I am typing. It has caused a few arguments because he thinks I must be chatting with a guy online or something. I would rather have him think that than tell him what I really do. The reason I don't tell him is because I am not ready for him to read my screenplays. I just do it for myself because once I get an idea for a story, I can't think of anything else until I get it written down.
SIS if written in caps
x
yes and yes! It is the tone in which it is written.
Condescending, ridiculing, belittling, ironic, sarcastic and implying that a 56-year-old woman (only the woman, not the man !)is 'over the hill' and has to expect to be cheated on with a 22-year-old.
I am not so sure that he is so 'unaware' of the slur. I think this is his general attituce toward women, but he is sugarcoating it to appear oh, so 'cute and likable.' A very biased statement.
If you have stamps with "Forever" written on them
d
Men don't keep everything written in their daytimers the way women do
Men don't keep everything written in their daytimers the way women do. Maybe he is planning a surprise for you this evening, however he could have at least said Happy Anniversary and given you a kiss.
No thanks, the Holy Bible is THE written authority to me!
j
I could have written your post. I've wondered too.
 
I have read everything Fannie Flagg has written
Alawys funny off-beat characters.
My last fortune cookie was written in English...sm
on one side and Spanish on the other!
Hello..You could have written my post. The jelaousy bug..Gets the good ones all the time!!! nm
n
Written by Francis Church in 1897 in response to 8 yo Virginia's question if Santa was real. You
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measure by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest man that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank GOD! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Tough on who??
tough for IRS to track you - not tough at all....they will catch you eventually if you are IC and don't pay taxes.
tough for you to track how to pay, when, etc.?? Also not tough. Every time you get a check, take about 35% of that and put it in a savings account. You could probably get away with paying yearly for awhile but safest bet is to pay quarterly. Download forms from IRS or your tax program and you can print a payment coupon.
You may want to do a search on the main board on this subject. It has been discussed. Some put aside 25%, some 30%, some 35%. Some pay quarterly, some yearly. Depends on if co-file and if that person takes money out of his/her check to cover part of your taxes.
That's a tough one.
Wow! Talk about going overboard. I thought my parents and MIL were bad - your MIL is really obsessed with those VERY expensive baskets.
Has your hubby tried talking to her?
How about giving them away as gifts to teachers or someone you think might be able to use them w/o your MIL knowing of course.
I really do feel for you because though your MIL means well and sounds like a beautiful person just the same it's just too much and such a waste of money.
Lots of luck to you.
Boy, that's a tough one
One of the defining moments of my life was when I saw my son's tiny heart fluttering on an ultrasound screen. Up to then, although I had known I was pregnant (I was 8 weeks), the reality of it hadn't hit me, not in the way that it did when I saw that tiny beating heart.
I am definitely not pro-choice but I am not radically pro-life either. What I do oppose is additional governmental inference in our lives. So, as I said, this is a tough one....my heart says "yes" but my head says "no".
Tough one.
My thoughts are when the children are small, they won't care if you live in a tent in a national park (in fact, they would probably prefer it). When they are teens, it doesn't matter where you/they live, they are going to complain about it. Bill Gates' kids will probably be asking why can't they live in a normal house like all their friends, and why do they have to have such a large carbon footprint?
We lived in a single family home with lots of acreage. Some of the kids' best friends lived in apartments in the city as well as mobile home parks. It made no difference whatsoever to them about the living circumstances of their friends and their friends' parents, and they stayed over at those friends just as often as those friends stayed over with us. Our house at that time was *very* nice and we had 4 or 5 horses at all times for riding, but were our kids impressed by that? No, they complained because we were hicks because we had chickens in our yard and their city friends did not.
I think the bottom line is wherever you are the happiest is where they will be the happiest.
Tough
Wow, that is a tough one. I know that you don't want to step on your son's toes by stepping in. Besides, he would probably be embarassed. I tell my 5-year-old daughter that if someone is not nice to her then they are not her friend. We have a similar situation going on here with the neighbor across the street who rides the bus with my daughter. She is much older and picks on my daughter. I had a talk with the older "bully" that seemed to work for now. Good luck!
that's tough...
I don't know anything about this but could it possible be that she has dermatillomania. Google it, there is a lot of information. I went to elementary school with a girl who had trichotillomania (pulling out hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc.) and that is what prompted me to google and found dermatillomania. I think you made a good call asking your son to talk to a counselor about it. From what you have described it sounds like she definitely needs some help but who knows how her parent's would react to you contacting them directly.
It's tough, that's for sure.
I tried smaller companies and larger. Gotta tell you there are a lot of companies (big and small) out there looking to take advantage of a new MT. I came across several myself. One wanted me to start working immediately, that day, right now, with no hiring agreement or anything. All they knew was my first name, had a cut and paste partial resume, phone interview, and a "test" which I don't even think was a test but free work.
It is sad what the jobs are like out there right now for MTs. I am fortunate to have a husband with a good job, not much financial overhead, and more in need of flexibility. For my "foot in the door" so to speak and a foot out of the 24/7 schedule of inhouse hospital transcription it was the price I had to pay.
That's a tough one.
I hate politics...especially among parents in school and sporting events.
I would follow your gut. You didn't say if you agree with what was done to the previous president or not. As little association with the annoying neighbor as possible seems logical to me. There's no reason why your children can't be friends and the 2 of you can be acquaitances but not great friends. I think you did the right thing by not joining in her comments and if it continues in the future, maybe just get up and say you have to go. She should get the message.
As far as you continuing on as president, you should do it for your kids but only for your kids. If there's a point where you can't handle it, ask for help. Who knows, the ex-president might even be willing to help you out or give pointers....don't take someone else's word for it that she didn't do a good job...maybe this annoying neighbor is just pushy. Sounds to me like there might be an underlying reason why no one else (mainly the annoying neighbor) wanted to be president but wanted you to do it. If you really think you have gotten in over your head, you're probably better off getting out now than waiting to when the school year starts. Surely someone else can step in. The school isn't going to fall apart.
I am so sorry. You are going to have to get really tough it looks like nm
x
So sorry - this is a tough one
I REALLY feel badly for you. This has got to be absolutely horrible for you to deal with, as there is not much that can be done, and it is hurting your health. There is only one thing you can do, and that is move. Is there some way you could find a way to do it? The problem with apartment living is that this could happen again, even if you do move, but don't know if it would be this bad. I truly feel your pain, I wish there was a more helpful suggestion to make.
It's tough
but it does get easier as they get a bit older.
I had two and both had colic ... yikes! I also got mastitis in one breast and felt pretty sick. I breast fed for only a few weeks with the first and a couple months with the second.
My youngest just had her first baby in April. She is feeling similar (and got mastitis in both breasts) and thinks she will stop breast feeding at about two months. She says she barely goes to the bathroom some days because she is always busy with the baby or holding him.
As they get more alert, you will ironically have more free time. Plus it is much easier to carry them around once they can just ride on your hip.
I would say if breast feeding is done long enough to get the colostrum, that's the main thing.
P.S. FYI, I found having two much more work than one for at least the first year.
that is tough
but he probably figures what is the point...not going to change the outcome.
that's certainly a tough one. but there are some rxs when all else fails.
.
Must be tough for you guys
Sorry for your troubles and losses...
Isolation is tough sm
I had an office doing this but never had the time to socialize with anyone in the building as I hated it if they came into my office because it meant I had to stop working. They used to call me "the robot" and that's exactly what I was. I am now home and don't get out to do things in the neighborhood, don't know my neighbors nor do I want to. I do feel like I missed out on life although I had a good thing going and it helped get my kids through school, etc., except it made me socially inept. Even when I had someone working for me, I would not stop to talk to them and resented it if they took time to jabber on the phone, etc. I was a slave driver to myself and everyone else. This job is enough to drive one to the looney bin. We shall all have to end up in the same place I guess when we get old. I don't know how to socialize anymore and I used to enjoy people. Perhaps this work has made me an introvert or I went into this profession because I am an introvert, who knows? I can relate. No one else outside the field can though, I guess they are "normal" and I am not. When I do go out to do something, I always think of the lines I am losing and feel like I'm wasting time and could be making a line count. Crazy!!
tough call
I know this is tough for you. . I have always hated to tell my daughter no. . Unfortunately, I have had to tell her no many times. . if you don't have the money, you don't have it. . not much you can do. . BUT. are there any programs or anything that could help your daughter - where I live, we have a free clinic for people to go to who don't have insurance. .
Sounds tough
Get what you can for the house, furniture and whatever you have, buy a truck with a camper, head for the warmer climes or even Mexico and live the good life and be mobile and go where the jobs are like a migrant worker. Think outside the box.Just a thought, it might even be fun, an adventure.
Tough times
I just skimmed your post and didn't read the others, but I know that often children will feel the mom is more to blame for a breakup between parents, so he might feel a little betrayed by you right off the bat, making him more sensitive to anything else you say or do.
When you think about how hard it is for adults to understand their own emotions and then present them to another, it makes it easy to understand why children have such a hard time.
I think the best thing is to try to help him feel comforatable sorting out and expressing his real feelings to you. Most of our actions and words are the consequence of a deeper/bigger emotion and not the actual issue.
Tough question
I would like to give a really deep answer, but probably Paula Deen. I love to cook and she just seems like so much fun. I read her book and know that she has overcome much in her life. I really admire her.
How tough is it to track taxes
Have a job offer but am worried about going IC.
Yeah, tough call, as I said above -
There are many many reasons why someone might choose abortion, not just as birth control.
I should clarify that when I said I disagree with abortion, what I mean is that I wouldn't personally choose it for myself but I would NOT tell someone else that they shouldn't.
Many years ago, I walked through a picket line with a friend who found herself pregnant and her husband still left her for another woman. Not just left her, he left the COUNTRY after 12 years of marriage. He did NOT want any more kids (they had 3.)
Tough call for her and I know she struggled with it enough without me telling her she shouldn't.
The first day of any drastic change is tough!
In fact, the first couple of days! But it'll be soooo worth it. I've always eaten plenty of health foods. Problem is, I've also eaten plenty of really bad stuff, as well. I won't even list my weaknesses, because they are the usual fat and sugar things, and there's no need to have us both wishing for those things!
Just today I started back on my WW plan. It's worked for me before, but there are a lot of things allowed on WW that I won't go near, like fat-free processed foods and sugar substitutes. I'd rather concentrate on natural foods. Lucky for me, my mother was a real tyrant when it came to soda. She wouldn't allow us to have it. I thought she was absolutely wicked when I was a kid, but I have to say, as a result of her soft drink ban, I never developed a real love for the stuff. I much prefer plain old water, and probably only drink soda a couple times a year. Today I've been pretty good, though I'm behind on my water intake. But, I did go to the YMCA and did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. I've found that exercise helps so much. I hate doing it. I hate even thinking about exercise. I hate absolutely everything leading up to exercise, and I hate about the first 10 or 15 minutes of exercising. However, the feeling after I've completed a workout is FANTASTIC! And I know that in a week or so, after walking, swimming and just plain moving each day, I will feel sooo much better.
You need support to get through this. If you find a good on-line group, let me know! Or email me, and we'll try to lift each other up. I've got 60 pounds to lose. (Who am I kidding... it's more like 75), so I have a long road to walk, too, and I've got to pick up the pace, because I'm not getting any younger, and the health problems are starting to pile on with the pounds.
I agree you have a tough situation there sm
my friend any my heart goes out to you. I wonder if the school has any suggestions,maybe if you spoke to the school psychologist, if one is available? I'm not an expert here but someone other than your main doctor might have some answers and guidance for you. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.
It was a tough decision, but I'm glad you got
your daughter's input and did not have to make the decision alone. Two things will happen. She will find out what a paddling is...and it sounds like she will only need ONE lesson about that issue. The second is that the paddling is over and done with...HER choice. You can't save her from all the bad things life is going to bring her, and she brought the consequence on herself and chose her punishment.
You should be proud that she chose EDUCATION by not missing class. THAT will last a lot longer than some stinging on the bum for a few hours. It does not matter which punishment she received, she will feel regret. She will receive a lesson in following the rules and not ruin her grades by missing class.
If it were ever to happen again, I would ask for an option of extra school work of some sort...a book report, etc., or running laps around the track.
Don't let these extremists make you feel so bad. I seriously doubt there will be any bruising. You made a good choice for letting her have input into her consequence. It sounds like no matter what happens, she has learned a lesson.
Good luck to you!
A tough situation? She's rich.
thinks of this young man now? Ohhhh, maybe it's okay because she's supposedly doing the right thing. Pulleezzee!!!! God bless her!!!
Maybe, but do they have to be that tough even in high school? sm
There are so many stories of homosexual high-schoolers being bullied and some even killed. I agree that they have to learn to live in the world as it is, but as high-schoolers, I am inclined to say they deserve some protection.
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