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Do you think that piercing a child's ears is abuse?

Posted By: Kendra on 2009-02-09
In Reply to: Do you think infant male circumcision is child abuse? - nm

nm


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Child abuse
That's your opinion - and pedofilia - obviously you did not BF or have a good bond with your children. Do you also consider it child abuse that I did not use disposable diapers? What about the fact that I worked as a wet nurse? Some things are just natural - You should read the book, The Family Bed - BF may be looked upon differently in the US - but that is only cultural - and I do not bend to cultural issues - I did as I pleased - and no one else cared or ever even discouraged me from BF my son as long as I did. Unless you've been there - you do not understand - sorry for you.
Child abuse, hardly
My child was circumcised years ago, did fine. Years later my 2 male grandchildren were not circumcised and as they were aging were running into lots of trouble, could not retract the foreskin because as they grew, so did the foreskin, could not keep the penis clean and finally at an older age (when more painful for them) had to get circumcised. Well known fact, smegma collects there and causes infection and could lead to worst things than just infection, has been linked to penile cancer.
no, not child abuse. what will they think of next? SM
How about - combing the tangles out of your daughter's hair (ouch)?

or ripping off a band aide?

or making them eat their vegies?

It's only child abuse if you hit them hard enough
check with your CPS. There is a BIG difference between spanking and beating.
I really feel that what she is doing is child abuse.
nm
Really think court case, child abuse charges
when another mother breastfed her child past a so called normal age. The poster says do not worry about what others think and the kids did not have to wear braces, but what about emotional issues that might come to pass with a 6 year old still on the boob? Most in this country, I am sure, would agree with these posts that you overstepped bounds in a mother-child relationship when this happened. Some things just should not happen.
Paddling is child abuse. Even Florida doesn't allow it.
xx
i care about child abuse, welfare fraud, and
dumping of young males to the streets, so they lessen the competition for the multi-wife thing. This is all well-documented. This is not about just polygamy -- which is also against the law, but its the abuse of children and abuse of our welfare system -- all under the banner of religion. If it was just about men taking multiple ADULT wives, the government would not likely have stepped in to even enforce that law.
Do you think infant male circumcision is child abuse?

Would you say that its child abuse?? Never thought of it that way before. Came across this article that discusses this question, interesting read.  See link below.


 


 


wax in ears

Also, I totally agree with this post; check his ears.  Every time my son has went for a checkup, they have told me they can hardly see in because of wax.  Told me to get Debrox, an ear drop that dissolves wax.  I usually forget to use it, but remember when he is due for a checkup!!  It can't hurt...  


how old should a boy be before he gets his ears

pierced? My son wants hoops but he's only 9.  I told him about 13 but i'm wondering if i'm being to hard on him.  Please don't write and say a boy shouldn't be allowed to have his ears pierced; I am happy for him to do it and won't change my mind on it but I just want to know how long other moms made their sons wait.


 


TIA!


anyone have ringing in ears?
I know in this profession we tend to diagnose ourselves - I have ringing in only one ear - is not affecting hearing - most annoying when things are quiet - from what I can tell it is usually in both ears if related to medication or other things that are a simple fix.  I'm thinking brain tumor!! Anyone else have similar experiences?
ringing in ears
I notice this after taking aspirin.
yes, and he has funky ears too.
when his hair was shorter you could see them better.

I started watching a couple years ago on and off and now I am hooked.

I am glad Nick and Taylor got married today, and he did not give in to Brooke. Can you image someone being like that in real life? So pathetic. ICK.
ears pierced?

Say what you want, but ask yourself how that'll be working for him when he's out in the real world trying to get a decent job?


I personally think it looks strange for a man to wear jewelry. The Tiffany Reference book specifically says a man should only wear a watch and wedding band, if applicable.


Having a conversation like this with a 9YO makes me just shudder.


pierced ears
My son was the same as as yours when he asked to get his ears pierced. He wanted both of them pierced, so we compromised on one. He wears a very small green birthstone and sometimes a very small hoop and takes very good care of it. I felt this was not a big deal. There are much bigger issues to worry about. An ear piercing, in my opinion, is not one of them.
tears in my ears.
is how the song goes.

It's one of my favorites.
Falling on deaf ears........and
I also urge them to contact their senators and congressman, but I am sad to say too often these things fall on deaf ears. I am forever amazed at how people in this country think if something is imposed by their government, it must be okay! They don't really question why MORE laws, what do we need it for, who is it really benefitting. They just say, "Oh well, what's it hurting. If you're not doing anything wrong you shouldn't care that you are being stripped of your freedoms". Putting more restrictions on US citizens does what for us? Does anyone ever ask what the purpose is for? If they actually think this has anything to do with locating illegals, they are really gullable. The government knows where illegals are....they're in sanctuary cities, heck, they're in my city. Do you see them rounding them up and deporting them? They're marching down our streets holding the Mexican flag.....get a clue...it has NOTHING to do with protecting us. The borders are wide open to illegals, north and south. Instead of taking our freedoms from us, crack down on businesses hiring illegals, quit giving them welfare assistance, free education, free healthcare, free, free, free for ILLEGALS, and guess what?.....no jobs, no healthcare, no freebies, they will go back home. Their home. Does anyone actually ask why we are creating this new law? It's as if they don't really want to know, don't want to be bothered with reading and studying the bill, don't want to question why this is even necessary. If our government says to, then of course it must be good for us because, after all, we are too dumb a people to think for ourselves, at least that's what the federal government hopes, that you'll all sit on your complacent behinds and do nothing......until the deed is done.
Clean out your ears so they can crawl out.
x
LOL or like my fat Siamese. My ears couldn't take it.
MEOW, MEOW!!
I've probably done damage to my ears

had front row seats to Jimi Hendrix!  Loved concerts.  My kids still laugh at me.  Now with my Ipod I am even liking cleaning the house!


My husband has 1 of his ears pierced
and he is just about the sexiest thing I have ever ran across! When we first started going together he had an earring- somewhere over the years it is not there and I told him the other day want him to get another 1- he is 1 heck of a man and a manly 1 at that!
why not cut off the ears at birth to prevent
not circumcising can be reversed, if the boy/man so chooses. Having had a friend working in a gay porn store, hehe, there is a consensus among men that circumcised men miss out...
*ears perk up* cherry cream?
That sounds YUMMY! Oh, and if you had a piece of chocolate cream with it...

I think I'm going to follow you. Wish I had a MIL that made good pies. It would make it all worth it. lol

I wouldn't have to worry about keeping my mouth shut...It would be full of pie!
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
I'd say yes they really did abuse
the 'emergency' but rather than contacting an attorney I would just try to recall where you might have given her contact information - call them and change ASAP and I would not even fill in that spot in the future citing your experience in these two situations and the problems it caused and if they fuss - give them a phoney name and addy and let it go.  I think it is there for your safety really, secondly for them to collect should you not pay a bill - I have only been called once in my 55 years as my son got behind on his credit union car payment and they traced me down through 3 counties - so think you definitely had an unusual experience.
Abuse

Call your local shelter and they will advise you on ways to leave safely. NEVER take abuse - physically, verbally, or mentally from anyone. Forget the church kid, learn to love yourself, and lead by example for your children. If you act like a doormat, do not be suprised when you get stepped on!


You need a long time on your own before you are ready to think about entering another relationship. You are not out of your present relationship yet, but you can be if that is your decision. Best wishes to you.


Lilly


I think it is abuse.
Take the poor doggy into your house. Your cat may hide, but my guess is the dog will ignore the cat. I got my Sheltie when I had 2 cats and they all got along just fine. Please don't leave this poor thing outside, especially if it hot in your area. If you cannot bring it in, call the authorities. It is kinder than leaving her out to suffer.
It is ABUSE!
<>

This IS animal abuse. Thankfully, in most states animal cruelty is becoming a felony. In my state (NY) it can be punishable up to $5000. Animal abandonment is also a felony with one year in jail and up to $1000 fine. Failure to provide proper nutrients is another law that seems to have been broken.

Our animals needs protection from the elements, proper food and water (and not just a bowl to catch rain water,either) They also need love and companionship, and by this I mean not regulated to the backyard to vegetate.

Animals can think....how do explain service dogs, search and rescue, and guide dogs? Have you ever seen a dog given a task to do and watch him/her go through the paces to get it done?

As I stated before, contact an area dog club to see if they have members willing to help, or if they know of a Sheltie rescue who can help. Contact your area vets for such phone numbers. Or, you can contact me and I'll see if I can locate a Sheltie rescue that can help.
Abuse

Your post makes me very sad. Your husband is abusive. Husbands and boyfriends come and go in our lives; however, family is ALWAYS family. Please seek counseling for yourself. You cannot change him. After you become stronger through counseling, you will see the situation clearly for what it is - abusive.


Call your sister and invite her for a visit. Better yet, get a plane ticket and go see her. Don't ask, just do it.


Best wishes.


Lilly


Abuse
Every county has a program for abused woman and children.  You do not have to be physically abused for them to help you.  Find out the name of the program near you, Domestic violence, Reach, etc.  You can call them and they will allow you to take your children and live in a house, the whereabouts is not known to anyone on the outside.  It is free and they are very caring.  You can start there and they will help see that you and your children are safe away from this maniac.  Good luck.
There's always abuse
of the system. Making it illegal doesn't stop that. There are a lot of drugs out there that are, in my opinion, worse than marijuana as far as addictive qualities and doctor's prescribe those drugs routinely and easily for things such as back pain which is not life threatening but can be debilitating. I think it would be much easier to hold standards to legal medical use marijuana than it would to criminalize alcohol and the numerous other prescription drugs that are out there and abused.
it's abuse duh
x
It is not abuse, but it is neglect
If you cannot take the dog in, I would definitely call the authorities. It is completely unfair and wrong for the dog to be left alone outside for that long with no shelter and no place to go. Who knows, maybe your cat and they dog will get along. I have 3 cats and a 128-pound German shepherd, and they call get along just fine together! But, if you cannot do this, just call the authorities for help/advice. I'm sure the dog would want you to do this so that it can get out of this situation!
Abuse causing this?
I had a son (I hear boys are worse than girls) who wet the bed until probably early teens. My aunt was a nurse, said NOT to belittle, get after, etc., etc. He definitely was NOT abused. Think children just do sometimes. I was told he would grow out of it and he did.
Sibling abuse

I picked up my 6-YO grandson today to bring him to my house for the weekend. When I got there I could tell he'd been crying and had a puffy bottom lip. He showed me where he had a missing tooth and said his 8 1/2-YO half brother (not my grandson) knocked it out.  His mom sits on the couch and says nothing to dispute it, so I'm sure it's true.  This brother is also his babysitter after school until mom and step-dad get home.


Not too long ago DHS was involved and step-dad was charged with abusing my grandson.  Of course they always try counseling first before thinking about removing a child from the home.


I constantly worry about the environment he is in as I've seen the way older brother treats him, but never anything quite like this. At what point is it considered sibling abuse as opposed to normal fighting that brothers might do.  Is this something I should report to DHS?


p.s. His mom is just beginning to speak to me again. She blames me for the last DHS thing even though I wasn't the one who reported it (only because I didn't know about it). Once I heard about it, I did go make a report about neglect that I'd observed. Then they were conveniently busy for the next 5 weekends so I couldn't see my grandson.  It's a long story, but there is nothing in writing about visitation. I have pretty much had visitation with him every other weekend for the last six years.


What to do.


Sibling abuse

They're home alone 2 to 3 hours before parents get home. Parents are trying to save money, which is the only important thing to them.  I agree entirely that he is too young.


The thing is, parents were home today when this happened. They were probably just getting up. They do not get out of bed before 10 on the weekend, even though kids are up at 6 or 7.  I pick my grandson up at 10, and he has not had breakfast yet. This is the norm.


Or maybe it's all that substance abuse she admitted to
I know I don't look like that and I'm close to that age. :P
THIS IS CALLED ELDERLY ABUSE
And the courts see it as this. You can have abuse other than striking a person. Taking advantage, which this is, of a person her age is something that needs to be nipped in the bud not tomorrow but immediately. A person can have an excellent mind, no dementia but are flattered when they think someone is smitten with them. Family and children services know about things like this. She is in a position for the right person to take plenty of advantage of whether it is her money or otherwise.
blatant emotional abuse
You say he is out and about all the time with work or just doing fun stuff.

Talk to an attorney then, when he leaves the next time, have the separation papers filed and put his rear end out. He has probably already talked to an attorney if he is trying to talk YOU into taking the kids and leaving.

A judge is going to be more favorable toward keeping the kids in their home.

His abusive behavior toward you touches on the kids emotional health too.

Give him the boot girl!
What constitues animal abuse
I would like to know what you all think about this situation.  Our neighbor next door has been gone almost 12 days.  We just moved here so do not know them.  The day they left there was a little sheltie dog that found its way to our yard and all weekend long laid under their truck and on their front lawn and ours.  We gave it food and water, but it had no collar.  Couldn't bring ourselves to call authorities as the life span is not long for strays.  3 days later it was gone, we assumed its owner found her or she found her way home.  A few days ago we heard a dog crying and found her in the back yard of our neighbors who have been gone a long time but she is being given food and water.  She has just been alone for almost two weeks and crying from only what we can assume is loneliness.  Don't know our neighbors enough that when they return to say anything to them but I sure feel like giving them a piece of my mind.  If we didn't have a cat we would have taken her in.  It is so heartbreaking to think people don't think of their pets as anything more than a piece of property like an old shawl they don't know what to do with anymore.  Just want to know what people think about this.  I about cried myself to sleep last night thinking of how she must feel.
Boarding on abuse of the children
Ladies, you need to have a talk with these men. They are really abusing these children by running them down, waking them up from sleep? What gives with this? A child needs a lot of sleep anyway, more so than we do and why a person would harp on a child much less wake up from sleep to harp some more borders on nothing but abuse. The guys you are with need a wakeup call. Why are you letting them get away with this? They should find healthier outlets than what they have now.
I don't automatically think spanking is abuse

said it was okay to give 'em the belt.  That is abuse, plain and simple.  If you feel a need to spank your child, then do it with your own hand, not another object.  It's too easy to hit too hard with an object because you're not feeling the pain you're subjecting them to. 


As for the gov't interfering, they have to because there are too many wackos in this world that do beat their kids to a pulp.  If they all parented with a little more sense, like you obvioulsy do, then I would agree that the gov't shouldn't interefere, but unfortunately the wackos of this world don't care.


It sounds to me as if you're raising some wonderful children.  You've definitely offered up some very good advice.  I saw no where in your post where you said that you've used a belt, and I'm not saying that you did.  I'm simply referring to the OP that started this thread that beating with a belt is abuse. 


 


Here is why you DO NOT take an abuse spouse like this to counseling sm

BTDT a couple of times.  He manipulated the whole thing to his "issues" with me. 


He told counselor: She makes me angry.  Counselor looks at me:  Why do you feel the need to make him angry?


He told the counselor:  I don't like her looks.  Counselor asks me:  I have you considered getting some help with your weight and looks (umm 140 at 5Ə"??? Where was the problem?)


He told the counselor:  She makes this marriage about the kids instead of making it about me...I make all the money...I do all the work (never housework)...and she sits on the couch and eats bonbons all day (what is a bonbon?).  THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE ABOUT ME and what I want, NOT about the kids.  Counselor:  Why do love your kids so much and why can't you put him first?


LOUSY counselor.  I went to another one on my own who said:  You may not have bruises, but you are being abused.  I know the situation you are in and he forbids you to work and it isn't like you actually have the time.  It may take you some time to choose to get out.  So, lets focus on ways for you to be stronger until you can walk out the door.  HE didn't get any better HE got worse as I started to develop a backbone. 


So to all those who say go to counseling, stay in it, learn to be stronger, don't let his words hurt you...YOU ARE FULL OF IT.  You all may like being treated the way that DONE is, but I don't.  I am a person too, as is DONE.  Anyone I might ever be with needs to think I am so wonderful, special, lovely, kind... you name it, they could not stand NOT to be with me.  DONE'S husband is telling her, essentially...you okay I guess, but not that great.  Plus which, you can't do anything the way I think it should be done.  You don't have feelings because you are average looking and this marriage is all about me.  Toro poo poo.


Some of you are not very bright, I am sorry to say, but there it is.


some advice about animal abuse

turn him in as soon as possible. People like that do not deserve animals.  Someone ought kick him once in awhile. 


Call the Animal Protection Society in your area immediately.  I can't stand people who abuse animals and someone who knows this is being done and not doing anything about it is just as bad


You may have to report it but not as sibling abuse (sm)
Child abuse and neglect by the parents that BOTH children live with. The 8 year old doesn't need to be punished, they both need to be taken care of. The thing is, as you know DHS is not always going to fix the problem and if the mother finds out it was you, she will probably not let you see your GS again. That is a problem. I am not sure. Does your son have any type of rights to visitation, etc? Can he not go to court and say that his child is not being taken care of appropriately? Where is the older child's father?
Let me clearly state that this is abuse on many levels.
I'm another one who has BTDT...17 years ago, but when I read something like this, it seems like it was last week.

I remember exactly what my state of mind was when I finally was able to realize I had reached the end of my rope. That alone took me 10 years to figure out. I was overwhelmed with what lay beyond the escape I could not imagine being able to engineer. The fear was paralyzing. It would have been nice to have help and support, but I was so ashamed that I could not seek it or accept it. I ended up learning how to take my anger and turn it inside out. I transformed it into self-empowerment.

I am sure there are plenty of people who would like to help. You just may not know who they are or how to find them, but they're out there. Everybody's situation is different. It would be helpful to know where you live (town or city and state). I would be more than happy to help you gather some information, but need to know the geography.

Also, what kind of support system do you have beyond your household? How many kids? What about friends and family? Any possibility of staying with them, or would you feel safer being in a location your husband does not know about? If you are an MT, your job is portable....a huge help in this circumstance.

Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with and see what we can help you come up with. This kind of thing probably has a better outcome if you have a plan (especially in view of your children and their schooling), but even without one, it can be done.

Let me be the first to assure you, life is really sweet once you get yourself and your kids to the other side.
your parenting style is really bordering on abuse
and what makes this so sad is the fact that your children are so young and cannot control what is happening to them.  They are trapped in a world ruled by your iron fist. 
I think that constitute abuse! Dogs are very social - sm
animals, and their human families are their *pack*. That poor dog is bored and lonely. It's crying proves that food and water alone are not enough to nourish an intelligent, social animal like a little Sheltie. I would tip off animal control. I'm sure it can be done annonymously. If the dog is confiscated, you can help it out by looking for a Sheltie-rescue in your area, and if not, possibly a regular animal rescue group. If she's healthy & has a good temperament, they may pull her from the shelter and foster her 'til someone can adopt her.

Or -- if that sounds too drastic, if you know the other people are gone, why not climb the fence into her backyard, and befriend & play with the dog? That would be better than nothing, although it sounds like the best option would be to find that dog a new family.
why does He allow abuse of helpless children/animals?
nm
I also read abuse of prescription drugs.
Legal, illegal- does that really matter how it is obtained?